Gravity Falls: Worlds Apart
by ManicPixieDaydreams
Summary: After the events of Weirdmageddon, the Pines twins find out that they will get to visit their friends in Gravity Falls over Christmas break. Lots of adorkable awkwardness ensues between Dipper and Wendy. Could this be a simple love story? Come on, you know nothing in Gravity Falls can ever be simple. Things are always at least a tad strange. Celtic/Norse Mythology AU based in canon
1. Chapter 1

Gravity Falls: Worlds Apart

Chapter One

September 28th

Dear Wendy,

Hey, it's Dipper. Well, I guess you already know that. Because my name and return address are on the envelope…that you had to open to get this far. So… yeah. Moving along.

How has the start of your school year been? Mine has been _so lame_. Mabel keeps me entertained, at least. She somehow talked our doctor into declaring Waddles an "Emotional Support Pig," so he comes to school with us, and the mall, and the movies… She made him a bedazzled vest. She calls it his work uniform.

Piedmont is so boring compared to Gravity Falls. I guess it's nice that there's a lot less running for our lives, but that's pretty much the only positive of being back here. Oh man, I have to tell you though—my English teacher assigned us one of those "What I did over the summer" papers. I probably should have made something up, because she gave me the first F I've ever gotten. She told me to hold onto it for when we do our creative writing unit on fiction. Like I'm actually creative enough to make any of that stuff up: A huge gnome monster, made up of individual smaller gnomes. A cyclops demon _triangle_ , bent on world domination. Heh… me hanging out with a cool chick like you.

Anyway, I wanted to catch up with you and see how you're doing. I miss our B-movie marathons. "Rainstorm of Blood 2: The Bloodnado" just isn't as fun to watch without your running commentary.

Please write back, I'm so boooooored!

Dipper

/

October 15th

Hey dude,

It was really good to hear from you. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. High school is no joke, man. I think the teachers all get together and plan exactly how much homework it will take to ruin our social lives. It's brutal, dude.

I'm still slumming it part-time at the Mystery Shack. With your great uncles gone it's a lot quieter, but Soos' abuelita makes some bangin' churros. Also, I talked Soos into giving me a pay raise… he didn't actually know what I was making before, so I got him to up it by like three dollars. Niiiice.

Freaky happenings have been surprisingly few since you and Mabel left. Well, there was this thing with haunted pie at Lazy Susan's diner… that was… different. I've tried taking the gang out into the forest and searching for all the crazy stuff you used to find, but it's like all the forest creatures are laying low. Adventuring with them isn't all that great, anyway. Tambry and Robbie are like, glued together at the lips, and Nate and Lee are always daring Thompson to do something dumb, like eat unidentified mushrooms. They thought it would be funny if he got high off them, but he just ended up in the ER getting his stomach pumped, because whatever he ate was like, toxic or something.

I miss our adventures. You always knew about all the cool, spooky stuff, and Mabel was like always there for comic relief. Remember that time I had to fight a shapeshifter that took my form? I've thought about that day a lot. How did you know who to hit with the axe, anyway? What did the shifter do that tipped you off? It's kind of weird that he's still down there, cryogenically frozen, looking exactly like you. I'm half-tempted to go back down there and get a selfie with it. That'd be awesome!

Oh man, Mabel getting Waddles declared an emotional support pig is totally her, isn't it? And I _need_ to see this bedazzled vest on him. You better include a picture for me when you write back! You better not leave me hanging, dude.

I miss you.

Wendy

P.S. Did you hear that they're making "Rainstorm of Blood 3?" I think this one is going to be called "Bloodicane." You're totally watching it with me next time you visit.

/

October 31st

Hey again Wendy,

Enclosed is your requested picture of Waddles, Emotional Support Pig Extraordinaire. I also included a picture of me and Mabel in our Halloween costumes. In keeping with our twin costume tradition, we dressed as Stan and Ford! Ha! … too bad nobody but our parents get it. Several people have asked Mabel if she's supposed to be a Shriner. And me? I've gotten "generic college professor?" You can't see me right now, but imagine me making a very unimpressed face.

Now onto your other question… involving the shapeshifter… and one of the most awkward moments of my life. When I asked for a sign that would let me know who the real Wendy was, you zipped your lips, remember? Shapeshifter Wendy _winked_ at me. I knew immediately. You'd never winked (wunk?) at me before, so why would you think I'd recognize you based off that? But zipping your lips? Yeah, it was easy.

Ugh, looking back on that day, though… I was _so_ cringey. I mean, I know I've never been a smooth operator, but confessing my love for you…to a shapeshifter…in front of you? I'm glad you let me down easy, for what it's worth. And that it didn't make things awkward between us. I really value your friendship, and it would have been awful to lose it due to my sappy preteen crush. And… I'm probably starting to make it awkward now. I'll stop.

Oh yeah, and as for watching "Bloodicane" with you? You're on. My parents are letting me and Mabel visit Gravity Falls over Christmas break. We are stoked. Mabel is literally counting the days, hours, minutes, _and_ seconds. We'll be there the week before Christmas, through New Years day.

Well, I need to wrap this up. Mabel is dragging me out to her friend's Halloween party. Oh, and Mabel says hi!

Later!

Dipper

/

November 12th

Dude! Dude dude dude! I am totally stoked that you get to visit over Christmas break! You have no idea. I was planning on trying to get out of Apocalypse Training this year anyway ( _hello,_ I survived an _actual_ apocalypse), and I'm definitely going to make sure my dad lets me out of it now. This year has been super boring. Soos tries to make things at the Shack fun, but his abuelita hasn't been well lately, and it's taking a toll on him.

Oh, get this, Dip—since he isn't around the shop as much due to abuelita's health, Soos hired another part-time lackey to help out. You'll never guess who; it's too good: Pacifica Northwest. HAHAHAHAHA! Her parents decided that it would be important "life experience" to get out in the real world and work with the little people before she grows up and goes off to do whatever it is rich people do. What is hilarious, is that she hasn't figured out yet that I don't really have any authority over her…so I've been getting her to do the really gross or boring jobs around the Shack. A kid barfed in the gift shop the other day, and I got to _for real_ say "Clean up in aisle 4!" She was pissed, and it was _amazing_.

I almost forgot, sweet costumes, dude. You pull off Ford really well. That trench coat looks good on you—you should totally start wearing it on the regular. You look kind of different, though… did you have a growth spurt or something? Mabel looks about the same height, but you look almost as tall as me now—unless you're standing on a box or something. Oh man, I bet Mabel can't stand being the short twin now!

Speaking of Mabel, tell her Waddles looks _fabulous_.

Oh, and about that awkward shapeshifter-day convo? No worries man, you're an awesome guy, and I'm lucky to know you. If you were my age I'd totally be crushing on you.

Write back, or else!

Wendy

/

December 1st

Hey Wendy,

Sorry it's taken so long to reply! My parents made me sign up for the science fair, and my project took up like _all_ my free time. I won second place though, so that's good, I guess.

I told Mabel about Pacifica cleaning up barf at the Shack, and she laughed so hard she had an asthma attack… and she doesn't even have asthma. You should start making up random tasks for her to do that make no sense, and see how long it takes her to catch on.

You're right about my growth spurt. It seemed to happen almost overnight. And you're right about Mabel, too. She threw a _fit_ when she realized I was taller than her. Not gonna lie, it was pretty great.

How was your Thanksgiving? Ours was pretty uneventful, except that we got a call from our Grunkles. They're somewhere in Africa, I think. Unfortunately, it looks like they won't be home for Christmas.

It really sucks, because we were planning on staying with them. Mom and dad aren't sure they want us to come visit now. We've begged, and they said as long as we can find somewhere to stay, they'll still let us go. I think Mabel is going to be staying with Grenda. I've tried getting in touch with Soos, to see if I can stay at the Shack, but I guess he's still spending most of his time with his sick abuelita, because I haven't been able to get ahold of him. Mabel said she'd ask Grenda's family if I could stay with them too, but, uh, no. I don't think I could handle two straight weeks of SLUMBER PARTY!

Could you do me a _huge_ favor, and have Soos call me when you get this? I really need to have a place to stay lined up, like, yesterday.

Oh, and in regards to you saying if I was your age you would totally be crushing on me? Are you trying to make me blush? Cause dude, I'm blushing.

Your awkward friend,

Dipper

/

December 6th

Hey Dip,

Soos is still really preoccupied with taking care of his abuelita, so I didn't ask him to call you. I know what you're thinking, dude, but DON'T PANIC. You're staying at my place! My dad is still taking my brothers out to the mountains for apocalypse training, and wanted to take me too, but I reminded him that I was the only one of the family that _didn't_ wind up as part of Bill Cipher's freaky people throne.

I'm so psyched, man! We're going to have so much fun! We have so many movies to catch up on. And we totally have to find ourselves an adventure while you're here. I know you won't let me down, dude. All that freaky supernatural stuff seems attracted to you, like flies to manure. Sorry, I guess that's not a very flattering comparison. But still, you gotta admit, there's something attractive about you. … … That sounded different in my head.

Anyway, we are going to have an awesome time. We'll have to have a big Christmas party and invite Mabel's friends, and Soos and the whole gang. And maybe Pacifica. She's a stuck-up nightmare most of the time, but every once in a while, I could swear there's an actual person underneath there.

Well, I'm going to wrap this up now. Since we normally aren't here for Christmas, we don't have any decorations or anything—I gotta go shop for some! I'm so freaking excited to actually decorate and do the whole holiday thing.

I'll see you next week, dude!

Wendy

/

Dipper Pines grinned to himself as he re-read Wendy's letters. He tugged the hat she had given him at the end of summer more firmly onto his head. As the bus rumbled slowly into Gravity Falls, he tucked the letters away in his backpack, and nudged his sleeping sister with an elbow. She gripped her pig, Waddles, more tightly, and murmured sleepily.

"Mabel, wake up! We're finally here," he said, excitedly.

As the bus lurched to a stop, Dipper peered out the window, his stomach in knots. There, standing near Grenda's family, was a tall, willowy redhead, a blue and white baseball cap with a pine tree on it perched on her head. A smile split her face as they made eye contact.

"We're home."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Grendy! I mean Wenda! I—ugh!" cried Mabel, hopping down the stairs of the bus, Waddles the emotional support pig peering out of her backpack. She threw herself at her friends, smothering them with hugs. Dipper trailed behind her, dragging their luggage. He stood back, his hands in his pockets, while the girls greeted each other enthusiastically.

"Oh, come on Pines, don't go all bashful on me now!" joked Wendy, disengaging from Mabel's hug. She walked up to Dipper, and realized they were eye to eye. "I guess I'll have to call you Big Dipper now, huh?" she laughed. Dipper felt his face flush with heat as his friend hugged him.

"H-hey Wendy, it's good to see you," stammered Dipper.

"Really, Dip?" teased Wendy, "Where's the confident guy who wrote me those letters?"

"He decided to send his awkward alter-ego, I guess," said Dipper with a smile, finally feeling the knots in his stomach unclench. Wendy always had a way of putting him at ease.

"Hey guys," said Mabel, popping up between them, seemingly from out of nowhere. "Grenda's mom wants to know if you want to come over for dinner before heading to Wendy's."

"Actually, I kinda had something planned for Dipper tonight," said Wendy casually—then she immediately facepalmed. "I _so_ did not mean that how it sounded."

"Ooooooohhhhhh! Can't take it back now!" cried Mabel, making kissing noises. "You two have fun with your 'plans'!"

"You. You go now," said Dipper, red-faced, as he lightly shoved his sister back toward Grenda's family.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" shouted Mabel, as Grenda's dad loaded her luggage into their truck.

"So do anything, got it," Dipper muttered to himself, turning his back to his sister.

"C'mon dude, don't let her get to you. She's just being Mabel. Besides," Wendy chuckled, "I walked right into that one."

"Yeah, you kinda did," said Dipper, grinning. He reached for his suitcase, but Wendy had already grabbed it. He made a move to take it back from her, but she put a hand on his shoulder and smirked.

"You're my guest, man. Deal with it." Wendy then flicked Dipper gently on the nose, gave her long, russet hair a toss, and, with his suitcase in tow, started walking in the direction of her house.

Dipper rubbed his nose and shrugged. "Yes ma'am," he said, saluting her backside, adjusting his backpack, and falling in step behind her.

/

The Corduroy family cabin sat nestled in a grove of pine trees, lit up by thousands of tiny fairy lights. The front door was decorated with a wreath, adorned by a large, red velvet bow.

"Wow, Wendy…did you do all this yourself?" asked Dipper incredulously.

"Why, is it too much?" questioned Wendy, her usual confident air faltering for a moment. "My family hasn't done the whole 'holiday thing' since—for a long time, so I was really excited to decorate. I guess I probably went overboard…"

"Too much? Are you kidding? This is awesome!" said Dipper, still looking around, taking everything in.

"I'm glad you think so, dude," said Wendy, grinning. "The inside isn't as impressive, but I still had fun with it."

As Wendy pushed open the front door, the smell of pine needles wafted out. She stepped inside and sat Dipper's suitcase down, waiting to see his reaction as he crossed the threshold.

Evergreen and holly garlands festooned window and door frames, and in the corner sat a potted pine tree sapling. It was wound with yet more fairy lights, topped with a golden star, and its frail branches sagged with the weight of a few small ornaments. Beneath the tree sat several small packages, wrapped in glossy Christmas paper.

"Wendy… this is… you're amazing! I hope you didn't go to all this trouble just for me," said Dipper, his eyes wide.

"Dude, it wasn't trouble," said Wendy, resting a hand on Dipper's arm. "You _gave_ me a reason to do all this. I started decorating, and it brought back all sorts of good memories from when… well, my mom… she loved to celebrate the holidays." She moved her hand and crossed the room, sitting down on the red plaid sofa. She stared at the tiny pine tree, lost in thought.

Dipper stood awkwardly, not sure what to do with himself. Wendy never talked about her mom. He was intrigued to know what had happened to Mrs. Corduroy, but didn't want to push the issue. He almost just blurted out "So where is your mom, anyway?" Luckily Wendy prevented his social faux-pas by patting the seat next to her and initiating the conversation herself.

"I've never told you about my mom, have I Dipper?" she asked, as he sat down beside her.

"No, not really."

"She was the best, man. Always smiling and having a laugh, usually at dad's expense. She loved nature, loved being in the woods. I always thought it was weird that a tree-hugger like her ended up marrying a lumberjack," Wendy said, smiling fondly.

Dipper stared at her face, rapt with her beauty. This wasn't the Wendy he was used to; while talking about her mom, her green eyes reflecting the twinkle of the fairy lights, Wendy seemed somehow softer, more vulnerable.

"The potted Christmas tree?" she said, pointing to the sapling in the corner, "That was her tradition. She always said dad killed enough trees, and that we should give the forest a Christmas present by adding a tree, instead of taking one away."

"She sounds awesome," said Dipper quietly.

"Yeah, she was," said Wendy, looking down at her hands in her lap. "Then one day when I was ten, she was just gone. No goodbye, no note, nothing. I didn't understand—I still don't." A single tear slid down her cheek, and she wiped it away absently. "Dad said that he knew she was safe, wherever she was, and then he started acting like she had never existed. He packed away all her things, and would just go quiet whenever anyone brought her up. And we never had another Christmas."

"Wendy, I'm sorry," said Dipper.

"Don't be, it's not your fault," she said. Then she sniffled and smiled at him, her eyes still wet. "Sorry I'm being such a drag, man. Ugh, too many feelings. Point is, you coming to spend Christmas with me, getting to celebrate the holidays again… it brought back so many great memories of my mom. I'm happy you're here with me." She reached out and gave Dipper's hand a squeeze.

"Heh… well, you know, always happy to oblige," said Dipper.

Wendy stood up, grinning. "Now, about those plans I have for you tonight."

/

"Pizza's ready!" called Wendy from the kitchen. Dipper lay stretched out on her bed, looking over the pile of movies Wendy had selected for her "plans": pizza and a B-movie marathon.

Wendy bumped the door open with her hip, and entered her carrying two plates of pizza. Dipper took his plate, and looked at its contents, salivating. The slices of homemade pizza were steaming, covered with gooey melted mozzarella and thick slices of pepperoni.

"God, I love you!" he said without thinking. "—Man! I love you _man_. L-like in a totally platonic, non-romantic—hey! Is that Bloodicane?" Dipper gestured to the dvd sitting on the top of Wendy's movie night picks.

"Yeah, dude. You wanna watch it first?" Wendy pretended not to notice Dipper's total mortification. "I know you've been looking forward to it."

Dipper smiled, gratefully. "Yeah, that'd be good."

The pair sat side by side on Wendy's twin bed, shoulders touching, as they gorged themselves on pizza and watched B-movies.

/

Hazy morning light filtered in through the curtains. Dipper yawned and flopped over, his hand landing on something very soft. Slowly he opened his eyes, and bit back a yelp. He and Wendy must have had fallen asleep watching movies. And he just put his hand on Wendy's boob.

Panicking, Dipper let his hand sit for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to move it without waking the still sleeping Wendy. Slowly, or fast, like ripping off a Band-Aid? Her steady, rhythmic breathing caused the flannel-covered breast to rise and fall gently beneath his hand. Wendy's hair was like fiery silk in the morning light; her face peaceful, a small smile playing on her lips. Dipper's heart pounded in his ears. He could feel the situation becoming very uncomfortable, very quickly. _Fast it is._

He swiftly withdrew his hand and rolled onto his other side, forgetting that he was on a twin bed. He fell to the floor with a resounding crash. Wendy sat bolt upright, her eyes wide, as she looked down at Dipper, splayed on her bedroom floor.

"G-good morning, Wendy," said Dipper sheepishly.

"Dude, are you okay? What happened?" she asked, half concerned, half holding back laughter.

"I fell off the bed."

"I see that."

"I, um, I'm going to go get a shower now," said Dipper, staring at the floor, the tips of his ears burning a magnificent red.

"Alright. But dude?"

"Yeah?"

"Your hand is on my underwear." She indicated to his right hand, with which he was holding himself up. On the floor beneath it lay a pair of small, lacy black panties.

"GAH!" cried Dipper, throwing his hand up. The fabric caught on one of his fingers, and he ended up flinging the panties directly into Wendy's face.

Wendy cackled with laughter as Dipper rushed from the room stammering "Oh—oh God—sorry! Oh God…" As he stepped into the shower, he could still hear Wendy's laughter.

"God I've missed you, Dipper Pines," she called through the bathroom door, on her way to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Dipper stood under the showerhead, letting cool water cascade down his back.

"I've missed you too, Wendy," he whispered.

/

Dipper adjusted his coat, hugging it tighter around his shoulders, as cold drizzle dripped off his hat and down his neck.

"When I suggested heading out for a walk in the forest, I think I forgot we're in Oregon… in winter," he said, his teeth chattering.

Wendy nodded, wrapping her scarf more tightly around her neck. "Man, I hate it when it's not cold enough to snow, but cold enough that being out in the rain is miserable." Her cheeks were rosy, her eyes watering in the cold.

"Oh man," said Dipper, watching her shiver, "I'm so rude—do you want to trade hats? Your old hat is warmer." He started to remove the lumberjack hat, but Wendy put out a hand to stop him.

"No way, man, that hat's yours now," she said with a grin. "It looks better on you anyway."

"Oh, now you're purposely trying to make me blush," said Dipper, in mock anger.

They walked in silence for a few moments, the sound of rain dripping through the trees muffling the normal forest noises. Dipper suddenly felt a tingle on the back of his neck that had nothing to do with the temperature. He stopped and looked around quickly.

"Dude, you okay?" asked Wendy.

"Yeah…" said Dipper uneasily. "I just got a really weird feeling that we're being watched."

"If we are, it's probably just gnomes, man," said Wendy pragmatically.

"Yeah… gnomes," echoed Dipper. He frowned, and glanced around once more, seeing nothing but trees surrounding them. He shrugged, attempting to push his unease aside.

The pair moved through the woods in companionable silence, until a sharp trill cut through the air, making them both jump.

"Sorry, I got a text," said Dipper, pulling his phone from his pocket and reading the message. "Mabel wants us to meet her at the Mystery Shack. She wants to get to planning this Christmas party you had talked about."

"Oh man, I knew I was forgetting something," said Wendy, sighing. "I got so caught up in decorating the cabin that I completely forgot we were going to throw a party. Ugh, I'm so lame. It's a good thing Mabel is like, queen of parties."

"That, she is," agreed Dipper.

The two friends changed course, heading toward the Mystery Shack. Wendy seemed at ease, but Dipper still felt like something was watching them, the sensation making his skin crawl.

It felt like the forest had eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Laughter drifted through the air as Dipper and Wendy approached the Mystery Shack. Dipper reached toward the gift shop door, but before he touched the knob, it was thrown open and he was tackled by a large man wearing a question mark sweater and a fez.

"Dude did I just shrink, or did you get taller?" asked Soos as he pulled back from the hug, grinning. "I'm only asking cause, you know, I've been shrunk before, so I know it's a possibility."

"Hey Soos," chuckled Dipper. "No shrinking this time, I swear. I'm just asserting my dominance as alpha twin. This isn't even my final form!"

"BOOOOO," shouted Mabel from somewhere behind Soos.

"So, man, are you going to let us in? It's mega cold out here," said Wendy, shivering.

"Oh, sorry dudes! I was just excited to see Dipper," said Soos, moving aside to let them in. "I'm happy to see you too, Wendy," he added as an afterthought.

"Gee, thanks," said Wendy, smiling wryly.

"Woah, Dipper… how's the air up there?" The voice belonged to a petite blonde teen, sitting cross-legged on top of the counter.

"Hey Pacifica." Dipper said, cocking an eyebrow. "Clean up any vomit lately?"

Pacifica smirked as she replied "No, but maybe I should take care of that mess next to you."

"Really, Paz?" Wendy said, feigning hurt. "And here I thought we were making progress at turning you into an actual human being!"

"Guys, guys, guys!" cried Mabel. "It's Christmas time! Be nice! And don't forget the reason we're all here… to plan a—"

"PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!" chanted Grenda, jumping out from behind a display shelf, making Dipper and Wendy both jump simultaneously.

"WOOT WOOT!" yelled Mabel, throwing a handful of confetti into the air, and tilting her head back to catch some in her mouth.

"Mabel, what are you—" began Dipper.

"Edible confetti! Blaaaaaaaah!" she said, sticking her tongue out so he could see that what appeared to be confetti was actually tiny star-shaped sprinkles.

Soos knelt down, picked up a few sprinkles and popped them into his mouth. "Girl Dude, this is, like, the best confetti I ever tasted."

"Do you… eat confetti often?" asked Pacifica, sounding half concerned, half scornful.

"Do you not?" Soos countered.

Wendy leaned closer to Dipper and whispered in his ear "I can honestly never tell if Soos is joking or being serious."

Wendy's warm breath in his ear sent a jolt through Dipper, giving him goosebumps. He suppressed a shudder, and tried to act casual as he turned to Wendy, smiled, and shrugged.

Turning back to the rest of the group, Dipper asked "So are we gonna plan this party or what?"

"Well," said Mabel, in her element, "what we plan depends on the theme, so we need to choose that first."

"Uh, question?" said Soos, raising his hand.

"Yes, Soos?" encouraged Mabel, sounding very much like a teacher.

"Isn't the theme of this Christmas party, like, going to be… Christmas? Am I missing something here?"

"Yeah, dude," agreed Wendy, "I'm a little lost too."

"Well, the _reason_ for the party is Christmas," said Mabel, "but that doesn't mean we can't have a theme. Like, maybe Christmas Under the Sea? 50's Christmas Sock-Hop? C'mon people, we need ideas!"

"Sis," Dipper said, grinning "I have the perfect theme."

"Well, Bro-bro, spit it out!" said Mabel, impatiently.

"Enchanted Forest."

"Enchanted…Forest," said Mabel quietly. "It…is… PERFECT! Way to go Dipstick! We can set up the main party in the clearing outside and have a bonfire and put lights on all the trees and we can all dress as some kind of magical or supernatural creature—"

"I'm gonna be a fairy!" cried Grenda.

"What?!" screeched Pacifica. "No way! I was totally gonna call fairy! Shouldn't you be, like, a troll or something? It would be an easy costume for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Grenda, stepping menacingly forward.

"Oh, you don't understand?" asked Pacifica in a snotty tone. "Let me spell it out for you: You. Are. Ug—"

"Hey!" said Soos loudly, stepping between the two girls. "You young lady-dudes need to just chill out. I'm invoking my privilege as proprietor of this fine establishment to decree that nobody can call dibs on any one costume." He turned and looked Pacifica, saying, emphatically, "You dudes would _both_ make lovely fairies."

Pacifica shut her mouth, frowning.

"Dude, Soos, you been working out your boss muscles lately?" asked Wendy.

Soos grinned. "Did I do a good job?"

Dipper and Wendy both gave him two thumbs up.

"Hey, where did Mabel go?" asked Dipper, noticing his sister's absence.

They found her in at the dining room table, papers spread out in front of her, mumbling to herself as she scribbled into a notebook.

"She's gone into full party-planning mode, now," Dipper mock-whispered to the others, putting on an Australian accent. "We need to be very careful not to disturb her as she creates her nest. Bad things have been known to happen to those who interrupt the Mabelus Partius during the planning process."

"Dip, you can go now," said Mabel without looking up from her work. "Wendy, you're off the hook too. Just make sure you're here at 6p.m. on Christmas Eve, _in costume_. Grenda, Paz, Soos, get over here. We have plans to make."

"Bye, guys!" said Dipper, wiggling his fingers at his sister and friends.

"Later, dudes," Wendy said, following him out of the Mystery Shack. "Man, your sister gets intense about her partying, huh?" she asked Dipper, as they began walking back in the direction of the Corduroy cabin.

"You have no idea."

/

"So, more movies tonight?" asked Dipper, as they arrived at the Corduroy cabin and let themselves in, tossing their coats on the floor next to the coat rack.

"Nah, man. You have to do your own thing tonight. I have plans."

Crestfallen, Dipper mumbled, "Oh…okay."

"Ha! Relax, dork!" laughed Wendy, as she lightly punched Dipper in the shoulder. "I'll still be here. I just want to get started on my costume for the party. I have an awesome idea, but I'm keeping it secret. So you'll have to hang out in my brothers' room or the living room or whatever while I'm working on it."

"But Christmas Eve isn't for a week!" pouted Dipper. "Do you really have to start working on it now?"

"Dude. This is going to be one badass costume. Badassery doesn't just _happen_. I have to _make_ it happen," lectured Wendy. "Besides, maybe you can use the time to figure out your costume."

Dipper opened his mouth to interject, and was promptly silenced as Wendy narrowed her eyes and poked him in the chest, saying, "And your costume had better not just be putting on a santa hat and calling yourself a gnome, dude."

"Get out of my head!" cried Dipper. "You know me too well."

"Yeah, I do," said Wendy, crossing the living room to the fire place. She bent over to pick up a log and place it on the grate. "For instance, I know that you talk in your sleep."

Dipper caught himself staring, and shook his head to focus on the conversation. "Wait, what?!"

"Don't worry dude, your secrets are safe with me," said Wendy. She turned around and zipped her lips with a mischievous smile, then turned back to kindle a fire.

Dipper panicked. "What secrets?!" he asked, worried that he had revealed his true feelings for Wendy in his sleep. After all, most of his dreams involved her. But she had made it clear last summer that she thought she was too old for him, so he was trying his hardest to see her as just a friend. He wasn't doing a very good job.

"Sorry," mumbled Wendy through a partially closed mouth. "Lips already zipped!"

"I-uh… I mean… if I said anything—embarrassing…you wouldn't hold it against me, would you?" Dipper managed to stammer.

Wendy turned to face Dipper, wiping her hands on her jeans, a small fire crackling merrily in the hearth behind her.

"Do you _really_ wanna know what you said?" she asked. "Like, you're sure?"

"Yeah, I want to know. Please," pled Dipper, the heat rising in his cheeks.

"You might wanna sit down, dude," said Wendy, putting a hand on Dipper's arm and steering him toward the sofa. She pushed him down, and he sat with a thud. Sitting next to him, she asked, "Are you ready?"

Mutely, Dipper nodded, staring at the floor.

"Okay," said Wendy softly, leaning in close to Dipper, her breath hot on his neck as she whispered to him: "I'm totally messing with you, dude."

Dipper's head shot up, relief flowing through him. "You jerk!" he laughed, pushing her playfully away.

"You should have seen your face, dork!" she laughed, launching herself toward him, getting him in a headlock and giving him in a noogie.

"Hey, not fair!" said Dipper, chuckling as he struggled out of the headlock. "If we're gonna throw down at least give a guy some warning!" He got out of Wendy's grip, stood up off the sofa, and got into fighting stance.

"Okay," said Wendy, her cheeks flushed, "Warning!" Once again she launched herself at him, but he was ready. He evaded her grasp and caught her by both shoulders, their combined momentum swinging them around, and sending them crashing to the floor, both gasping with laughter, until Dipper suddenly realized that he was laying on top of Wendy. She was pinned to the floor with his body, and he could feel her every curve, his face inches from hers. They lay like that for a moment, laughter cutting off as their eyes met.

"Bathroom!" cried Dipper, his voice cracking, as he leapt up. "I mean, I have to go—to the…" he trailed off as he backed away from Wendy, who was still laying on the floor, her cheeks a brighter red than her hair, a confused look on her face.

Dipper nearly tripped over a chair before he finally turned around and high-tailed it to the bathroom. He leaned against the sink, heart racing. His whole body felt electric. He could have kissed her. He almost did. And that look on her face when he got up… what was that about?

Dipper closed his eyes and tried to calm himself, breathing deeply. He lost track of how long he'd been in the bathroom, and was startled by a knock at the door.

"Hey, Dip?" Wendy called out tentatively. "You okay in there?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Be right out," Dipper said, as he flushed the toilet, to make it seem as if he'd actually used it. He tried to mentally prepare himself for the awkward conversation that he was sure was coming, but Wendy didn't mention their play fight at all. They ate some cold pizza and tried to guess what all their friends would dress as for the party.

Wendy finally excused herself to her room late in the evening, to start working on her costume. Dipper went to her brothers' room and lay down, trying to clear his thoughts and go to sleep—but sleep evaded him. His mind kept looping back to the way it felt to be on top of Wendy, the look in her eyes, her flushed cheeks.

"Wendy..." he sighed. "What is going on?"

/

The week leading up to Christmas Eve passed fairly quickly, with much less awkwardness. In fact, it almost seemed as if Wendy was going out of her way to not find herself in any more compromising positions with Dipper. During the days they kept busy at the Mystery Shack with Mabel, Grenda, and Pacifica, hanging decorations and fairy lights in surrounding trees and preparing for the party. They took some Christmas cookies to Soos' abuelita at the nursing home she'd been moved to. They played two-on-two laser tag with Soos and Melody one day. When evening rolled around, they would watch one or two movies in Wendy's room, before she kicked Dipper out to work on her costume. Dipper used that time to put his costume together, as well.

Finally, Christmas Eve arrived. The morning sun shone weakly through a veil of gray clouds, illuminating a light dusting of snow resting on the trees and grass like powdered sugar. Dipper got out of bed and stretched, yawning. He wandered into the kitchen, and was greeted by a sleepy-eyed Wendy, wrapped tightly in a tartan bathrobe.

"Merry Christmas Eve, dork," she said, grinning. "You want pancakes?"

"That sounds really good, actually," said Dipper as he sat down at the table. "And Merry Christmas Eve to you as well."

"You excited about the party tonight?" asked Wendy, as she began pouring pancake batter onto a sizzling cast iron griddle.

"Definitely. I'm especially excited to finally see your costume," said Dipper. "You've been very secretive."

"Well, you're not gonna get it out of me before tonight, so don't even try, dude," chided Wendy. "Womanly mystery, feminine wiles, and, you know, all that junk."

Dipper smiled and cocked an eyebrow. "Womanly mystery? Feminine wiles?"

"Shut up and eat your pancakes," said Wendy with a scowl, sliding a plate in front of him.

"Can do," he said. Then looking around he asked "Butter and syrup?"

"Fridge and cabinet," said Wendy, crossing her arms. "You get to get it yourself, for making fun of me."

Dipper stood and walked to the fridge. Before opening the door, he noticed a picture of a smiling Wendy, surrounded by her dad and brothers. Below was a note, scrawled in sloppy handwriting: _Have a good vacation sweetie! I know you can take care of yourself, but I have the satellite phone, and want you to call me if you have any problems. After all, you'll always be my little girl. Love you, Dad._ A number, presumably for the satellite phone, was written at the bottom of the note.

Feeling like a jerk, Dipper grabbed the butter and syrup, and sat back down at the table across from Wendy.

"Wen, I'm sorry," he said. "I was just teasing. You're plenty feminine."

Wendy glanced up, meeting his gaze. "It's just kind of a sore spot, you know?" She sighed. "Ever since my mom disappeared, I've been the only girl in the family. I like roughhousing with my brothers, and I can toss the caber better than most guys. My dad tried, for a while after my mom left, to, you know, like fix my hair pretty, and take me shopping. I eventually told him he didn't have to. It wasn't the same as having mom around. But I still like to feel like a girl sometimes. I feel like everyone sees me as just one of the guys."

"Trust me, that is not the case for me," said Dipper sincerely. "You are awesome and it's really cool that you could beat me to a pulp if you wanted to, but you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He turned red and shoveled a huge bite of pancakes into his mouth, nearly choking.

Wendy smiled. "Easy there Dip. Just because you went all awkward on me doesn't mean you have to commit suicide by pancake." She got up and poured him a glass of milk. "Here," she said, handing it to him. "And thanks, Dipper. What you said—that meant a lot to me."

Dipper gulped the milk, and finally able to talk again, wheezed out "No problem. Any time you need a perfectly good situation made awkward, you know who to call."

Wendy kissed the top of Dipper's head, sending a jolt down his spine. Laying a hand on his shoulder, she said "It's good to know I can count on you. I'm gonna go get my shower now."

Dipper watched her walk away, unable to move. Wendy was an enigma. Every time he thought she couldn't possibly be interested in him as more than a friend, she went and did something like this.

Sighing to himself, Dipper got up and took his dishes to the sink. This Wendy situation was driving him crazy. Something had to give, and soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Christmas Eve passed quickly. Wendy had saved a couple Christmas themed B movies to watch, so they hunkered down in her room with popcorn, and spent the afternoon adding color commentary to some hilariously horrible films. At five o'clock, she kicked Dipper out so she could get ready for the party.

Dipper went to Wendy's brothers' room and began transforming himself for the party. He had pieced his costume together bit by bit over the week, at secondhand or costume shops around town; although one or two things he'd had to order online and have shipped to the Mystery Shack, where he had picked them up the day before. He was actually pretty proud of his costume, seeing as Mabel was usually the one in charge of outfitting him for these types of things.

He wore dark green loose trousers, tucked into knee-high, lace-up moccasins. His shirt, tucked into his trousers, was a flowing white linen garment, with cuffed sleeves, and an open v-neck collar. It was topped with a dark brown vest; a large belt with a silver Celtic knotwork buckle completing the ensemble. While the clothes were simple, the rest of his costume was a bit more complicated.

He used theatrical glue to place two small horns on his forehead, then made them look like they had seamlessly sprouted from him by covering the bases with flesh colored putty, which he blended in to his forehead until it was indistinguishable from his skin. He placed two long, pointed ear tips over his own ears, again using the glue and putty to secure them and make them look natural. Using green and brown eyeliner pencils he had swiped from Mabel, he drew an intricate knotwork design around his eyes. He completed the look by rubbing a bit of styling wax between his palms, and running his hands through his hair, making his hair look slightly messier than normal—more windblown and carefree.

Dipper stared at himself in the mirror with satisfaction. He knew Mabel would be thrilled that he actually put effort into his costume. What he was really concerned with, however, was what Wendy would think. Dipper heaved a sigh, and opened the bedroom door, crossing the hall to knock on Wendy's door.

"Wendy, are you almost ready?" he called. "Mabel will kill me if we're late."

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute," she replied.

Dipper sauntered out into the living room, and flopped down on the sofa, waiting. His back was to Wendy's door, and he didn't realize she'd come out of her room until she spoke quietly behind him.

"Well, what do you think?"

Dipper turned around, and his eyes widened in awe. Wendy's costume was a long, flowing dress. The bodice was a corset, the fabric a dark greenish brown, the color of moss. It was covered in dark green silk leaves. The sleeves were of a sheer, pale green fabric, with vines of ivy winding from her shoulders down to her wrists. The skirt was not actually one piece—it was multiple long strips of different colored green silk, which swayed like leaves in the wind as Wendy walked forward. Her long legs, covered in opaque brown tights, peeked through the flowing cascade of fabric. Her feet were covered in soft, brown suede moccasins.

Dipper's eyes traveled down Wendy's body, then back up toward her face, trying to take in all the exquisite details she had worked into her costume. Her corset pushed her breasts up and together. Dipper tried not to let his gaze linger, but he did notice a unique gold pendant hanging in the dark valley between her mountains. Tearing his eyes away from it, he fixed his gaze on her face, stunned by her ethereal beauty.

Her lips were outlined in a dark green color, a lighter shade of green blending into it seamlessly and filling in the center. Her eyes were lined and shadowed with the same color palette, and a light dusting of green and yellow glitter caressed her brows and cheeks. Her luxurious long red tresses were plaited into a single, thick French braid, woven through with leaves, flowers, and bright green jewels, resting over her right shoulder. A small crown of woven willow branches, ivy, and flowers adorned her head.

"Dude, you still alive?" asked Wendy, cocking an eyebrow. "You didn't, like, stroke out on me, did you?"

Dipper blinked, and shook his head. "W-wow… I … you… pretty…"

Wendy smirked. "So I take it you like my costume?"

"Yes," said Dipper simply, still staring.

"Okay, you're making me blush, dude," said Wendy truthfully. Her cheeks were turning a brilliant shade of scarlet.

"Sorry," said Dipper, meeting her eyes with a grin. "I can't believe you _made_ that! I didn't know you could sew."

"Yeah, that's a carry-over from when I still had mom around," said Wendy. "She taught me how to sew and braid and weave, and all sorts of girly stuff I haven't really ever had a chance to use." She fingered the gold pendant that Dipper had noticed earlier. "This is actually the only thing of hers I was able to hide from dad, when he was getting rid of all traces of her after she disappeared. If he knew I kept it he'd be _so_ mad."

Dipper rose from his seat on the sofa, and crossed over to inspect the pendant more closely. Wendy held it out for him. It was a disc of what appeared to be pure gold, engraved with a large tree. The leaves of the tree were made up of what looked like tiny emerald shards.

"It's beautiful," breathed Dipper.

"I told you my mom loved nature," said Wendy softly. "She was my inspiration for this costume: a forest nymph."

Dipper glanced up, and realized just how close he was standing to Wendy. Their eyes met, and held. Wendy was the first to break the gaze, reaching up to poke one of Dipper's horns.

"I like your thingies," she said. "And your ears. I'd guess faun, but you don't have goat legs."

"Yeah," Dipper said, stepping back and clearing his throat. "I thought about going as a faun, but it's kinda hard to order goat legs online. So I settled on Puck."

Wendy burst out in laughter. "Oh man, Pacifica's going to be pissed if you make a prettier fairy than her!"

"Hey, no fair!" cried Dipper. "Puck is a named character, not some generic _fairy_. And look," he said, turned around so Wendy could see his back, "no wings!"

"Chill man, you make a badass dude fairy," said Wendy with a grin. "We even kinda match, how cool is that?"

"Great minds, and all that," Dipper said, shrugging. "C'mon, we need to get going. We don't want to be _tardy_ to the _party_." He chuckled at his little joke.

"Dork," said Wendy, pushing him lightly. Donning their coats, they made their way out into the dim twilight.

"Wait, shouldn't we grab a flashlight or something, at least for the way back?" asked Dipper, stopping at the edge of the forest. He remembered the feeling of something watching him from the trees that he experienced a week ago, and wasn't keen to experience it in the dark.

"Relax, dude. Full moon is in a couple days, so we should have plenty of moonlight," said Wendy with a casual confidence. "Besides, I have my shortcut to the Mystery Shack pretty much memorized. I could probably walk it blindfolded."

"If you say so," said Dipper, reluctantly. He followed Wendy closely as they made their way into the dark depths of the forest. The back of his neck was tingling, but he tried to convince himself that the chill he felt was due to nothing more than the breeze of the cool winter night.

/

Although Dipper's nerves were on high alert during the walk to the Mystery Shack, the journey was uneventful. He could tell they were getting close when he heard the faint strains of upbeat Christmas music floating on the breeze. He saw a warm orange glow through the trees, and finally, they came upon the clearing next to the Mystery Shack.

All the trees surrounding the clearing were lit with strands of blinking, colored fairy lights, and at the center of it all roared a huge bonfire. Even the totem pole was festive, wound with sparkling garland and topped with a Santa hat.

Dipper and Wendy made their way to the door of the gift shop, and took off their coats, adding them to the pile behind the cash register. As they turned around to head back outside, they were nearly knocked over by a flying hug from Mabel.

"Dipper! Wendy! You guys look so awesome! And you're all matchy! That's soooo cute!" she squeed.

"Hey sis," said Dipper, grinning as he took in her costume. She was dressed as a Hobbit, from the curly wig perched atop her head, all the way down to huge, hairy fake feet that she wore on top of her own. "Stretching the Enchanted Forest theme to include fantasy literature, too?"

"Yeah," Mabel said nodding, her wig curls flopping on her forehead. "Half the girls wanted to dress as fairies, and I wanted to do something original."

"Well you look awesome, little Hobbit," said Wendy. "Care to venture a guess as to what Dipper and I are supposed to be? Oh—and the matchiness is strictly coincidental."

"Well, you're obviously a forest goddess or something," stated Mabel matter-of-factly. "I mean, your costume outshines all the other fairies and sexy witches out there. And Dipper…" Mabel tapped her chin with a finger, thinking. "You're Puck. You have to be."

"Wow!" exclaimed Wendy. "First guess. How'd you do that?"

Dipper and Mabel both grinned and tapped their foreheads, saying simultaneously, "It's a twin thing!"

Together the three friends walked back outside to enjoy the party. Mabel had invited pretty much the whole town, and everyone was wandering around the clearing laughing, singing and dancing to the Christmas music, and admiring each other's costumes. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland shared a pink unicorn costume, bumbling all over the place and often trying to go in opposite directions. Robbie was (of course) a vampire, as was Tambry. Pacifica was a vision as a silver fairy, jingle bells covering her costume tinkling with her every move. Grenda was also a fairy, with large, colorful butterfly wings. Toby Determined was the saddest looking Christmas elf anyone at the party had ever seen, his green costume clearly too big, his red and white tights sagging as if trying to get away from him. 'Lil Gideon even made an appearance, dressed as a perfectly coiffed gnome.

Dipper's favorite costume at the party (besides Wendy's, which far surpassed everyone's), was Soos' costume: he wore a bear mask, and had apparently cut the heads off of a bunch of stuffed teddy bears, which were duct taped all over his body.

"Dude, I'm the Multibear!" he said when he saw Dipper.

"The resemblance is uncanny," said Dipper with a smile.

"Really? That's awesome. I was worried I didn't use enough heads," said Soos.

"Nope, you used plenty," Dipper said, stifling a chuckle.

/

After mingling for a while, Wendy and Dipper got separated. Dipper was scanning the party for her, when Mabel popped up next to him.

"Hey bro-bro, having a good time?" she asked.

"Yeah, Mabel. You really outdid yourself this time," he said distractedly, still scanning the party. "Have you seen Wendy recently? She went off to talk to Tambry a little bit ago, but I can't find her."

"Dip, I hate to tell you this, but you're doing an awful bad job of acting like you don't have feelings for Wen," said Mabel, startling Dipper into looking at her.

"Wh-what? Haha… that's—" Dipper cut himself off, at a stern look from his twin. He sighed. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Totally," said Mabel, emphatically. "Everyone can tell. Even Soos asked me if you and Wendy 'are, like, secretly going out or something' the other day. And bro-bro… Wendy knows. There's no way she doesn't."

Dipper sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know what to do, sis. Last summer Wendy told me she was too old for me… but I could swear she's been flirting with me since I've been back. Unless I'm just terrible at reading people," he said.

Mabel cocked an eyebrow. "Have you actually tried telling her your feelings again? The only way you're gonna know is to talk to her."

"Seriously, Mabel? You know how awkward I am," Dipper argued. "Besides, she's my best friend. I don't wanna screw that up by declaring my undying love for her…again."

"You know Wendy better than that, Dipstick," said Mabel, patting his arm reassuringly. "She gave you a pass once before, and you weren't even as close back then. Yeah, things may be like, super-incredibly awkward for a while if she doesn't have feelings for you too… but you'll never know unless you talk to her." Mabel paused, and thought for a second. "You should try looking for her from the roof! You'd probably be able to find her in no time from up there."

"I guess you're right, Mabel," said Dipper. "I think I _will_ go up on the roof and see if I can spot her from there. I can't put off talking to her about this; it's driving me crazy."

"Good luck, bro-bro," said Mabel, saluting Dipper as he made his way through the crowd, toward the Mystery Shack.

"Hey Mabel?"

The voice behind her made her jump.

"Wendy! You scared the cheese and crackers out of me!"

"Hey," said Wendy reluctantly, "Can I talk to you about something… about Dipper?"

Mabel stifled a laugh. "Sure Wendy. Walk with me," she said, leading Wendy to an area of the clearing not visible from Dipper's vantage point on the roof.

"So, you know how your brother had this huge crush on me last summer?" asked Wendy.

"Uh, yup," said Mabel.

"I think he still likes me," said Wendy, uncertainly.

"If he did, would that bother you?" asked Mabel, noncommittally.

"Well, yeah. No." Wendy sighed. "I don't know."

"Do you like him?" Mabel asked, without any pretense.

Wendy looked down at her feet. "I do. That's the problem."

"If you like him, and he likes you… I fail to see a problem there?" said Mabel, confused.

"Mabel, I'm three years older than you guys. I can't date a guy three years younger than me! I'd feel like a creep," said Wendy, sourly.

"So that's the only problem?" asked Mabel, incredulously. "Your age difference? My parents are seven years apart in age. Three years is nothing."

"But what would people think?" asked Wendy.

"Wendy, since when have you ever cared what people think?" Mabel retorted.

"Touché," muttered Wendy.

"Look," Mabel said with a smile, "Why don't you go think about it some. Maybe try the roof? That's a good place to clear your head. But seriously, I just want you to know, I'm totally on team WenDip. You guys are awesome together."

"Thanks, Mabel. I think I'll do that," said Wendy, bending over to hug her friend before making her way back to the Mystery Shack.

If Wendy had turned around to look back at Mabel, she would have seen the younger girl grinning like a maniac, jumping up and down and flapping her hands like a fangirl in silent glee. But she didn't. She made her way into the Mystery Shack gift shop, and climbed the ladder to her rooftop getaway.

/

Dipper sat on the edge of the roof, still scanning the crowd for a glimpse of Wendy. He was starting to worry that she was avoiding him. He didn't hear the trapdoor open behind him, or the soft "Oh!" that Wendy uttered when she saw him. This of course, meant that he screamed and nearly fell off the roof when Wendy finally came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Woah!" cried Wendy, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the edge of the roof.

Dipper, his heart pounding from nearly falling to his death, didn't immediately notice that after steadying him, Wendy didn't let go of his hand.

"What are you doing up here?" asked Wendy.

"I was looking for you, actually," said Dipper. "Mabel gave me the idea that I could probably find you more easily if I came up here."

"Oh, she did, did she?" said Wendy, her eyes narrowing, although a smile was playing at her lips. She gave his hand a squeeze, then let go, sitting down next to Dipper.

"Wendy, I need to talk you about something," said Dipper seriously. He took a deep breath, and turned to look her in the eye. "Wendy, I—"

Before Dipper could say "love you," warm lips pressed against his, Wendy's fingers twining in his hair, pulling him closer. He responded instinctually, arms wrapping around her, lips softening against hers.

Wendy finally pulled away, resting her forehead against Dipper's. "I've been wanting to do that all week," she breathed.

Dipper's heart was pounding harder now than when he had almost fallen off the roof. "Wendy, what- I don't understand…" he stammered nervously. This seemed too good to be true.

"You need me to explain?" she asked playfully. Placing her mouth next to his ear, she said softly, "Dipper Pines…I love you."

Dipper groaned quietly. "And-and you're sure Mabel didn't invite The Love God to the party? Because this-this isn't the kind of thing that happens to me…ahahahah," he half moaned, half giggled as Wendy lightly bit his earlobe and trailed kisses down his neck.

"Dipper," said Wendy, finally pulling away from him and looking him in the eye. "Remember the day we fought the shapeshifter?"

Dipper nodded mutely.

"Think back, really hard, to what I told you afterwards."

"Y-you said you were too old for me," said Dipper, looking down.

Wendy tipped his chin back up with a finger, and made sure he was looking her in the eye before she said, "I did say that. But if you remember… I never said I didn't have feelings for you too. I just thought our age difference would be a problem." She kissed him swiftly, before smiling and saying, "I've reconsidered."

At that moment, it really sunk in. Dipper leaned toward Wendy, cupping her face with one hand, the other gently resting on the back of her neck. "I love you, Wendy," he said against her mouth, before kissing her—the kind of slow, deep passionate kiss that comes out of incredible longing and desire.

Wendy had had plenty of boyfriends, and most of them had kissed her—but never before had anyone kissed her the way Dipper was kissing her—gently, but with a fierce intensity, as if he was afraid she was going to suddenly disappear, and he had to hold on for dear life.

Dipper felt Wendy shudder against him, and, mistaking it for a shiver, he pulled away quickly, saying "I'm so sorry, you must be freezing. Do you want to go back down to the bonfire?"

"Not just yet," she said, smiling coyly. Quickly glancing behind him to make sure they wouldn't accidentally roll off the roof, Wendy pushed Dipper back against the shingles, and pinned him with her body, like he had pinned her earlier in the week during their play fight. Only this time, he could enjoy the feel of her curves, the heat of her body, her slow, graceful movements. And when she was close enough to kiss, he kissed her.

He rolled onto his side, and with Wendy lying next to him, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, pressing hot kisses down her throat and across her collarbone. Wendy whimpered softly, and Dipper immediately recoiled.

"I'm so sorry, did I hurt you? Are you okay? I'm such an idiot!" he berated himself.

"Shshshhh… Dip, you didn't hurt me," she told him softly, pulling him back against her, and curling up into the crook of his arm, her head laying on his chest. "Can we just stay like this for a little longer?" she asked.

Dipper kissed the top of her head. "Anything you want."

/

A while later, the new couple rejoined the party. Things were just starting to wrap up. The bonfire was considerably smaller, and only a few stragglers were left, as well as Mabel, Soos, Melody, Grenda and Pacifica, who had started cleaning up.

Mabel was the first to spot the couple, and began laughing and clapping when she saw they were holding hands. "I KNEW IT! Am I the best matchmaker ever, or what?!"

"I'd say you're pretty good," said Dipper wryly, "except for the part where I couldn't hear Wendy approach me over the noise of the party, and she startled me so badly I nearly fell to my death."

"Yeah, yeah, details," said Mabel, flapping her hand at him. "But the important thing is… you two are a couple now?"

Wendy looked down at their clasped hands and grinned. "What do you think, Dip? Am I your girlfriend now?"

"Yeah," Dipper said with a shrug, "I guess so."

"Success!" cried Mabel.

"I couldn't help but overhear that you two are an item now," said Soos, walking up behind Mabel. "It's about freaking time. Congratulations, dudes."

"Aw, how cute! They're matching shades of red!" said Pacifica, having approached the group while Soos' was talking. "Mabel, what time did they go up on the roof?"

"Around eight, I think," said Mabel.

"YES! I CALLED IT!" yelled Grenda. She held out her hand. "Pay up, Northwest!" Pacifica sighed and smacked a crisp fifty dollar bill into Grenda's hand.

"You guys… had a bet… on when we would get together?" said Wendy, slowly.

"More of a pool, actually," said Soos with a grin. "We all knew it was inevitable. We've seen the way you two look at each other."

"We just didn't know when exactly it would finally happen," added Melody as she approached the group, her white witch costume glittering in the firelight.

"We each kicked in ten bucks," said Mabel. "Paz got to be the banker because she's used to having large amounts of money on her person."

"Wait, Mabel, you were in the pool too?" asked Dipper. "How did you not win? You did kind of play matchmaker tonight."

"Yeah, man, what gives?" interjected Wendy.

"I chose New Year's Eve, at midnight," explained Mabel. "But when the opportunity presented itself tonight, I couldn't resist." She sighed dreamily. "What's fifty bucks compared to true love?" Then she grinned and pulled out her cell phone, snapping a picture of the couple before either could react, temporarily blinding them with the flash. "Scrapbook-ortunity!"

"Hey, you two skedaddle, okay?" said Soos to Dipper and Wendy. "We got the clean-up covered, and you dudes have a lot of lost time to make up for."

"Dude, being a couple gets us out of cleaning?" said Wendy incredulously. "Dipper, why didn't we do this sooner?"

"Hey, don't look at me," said Dipper with a sly grin. "We'd have been a couple this past summer if I'd had my way."

"This is true," conceded Wendy. "Well, later dorks! And Merry Christmas!"

Dipper gave Mabel a quick hug, saying "Merry Christmas. And thanks, sis."

"Anything for my bro-bro," said Mabel, pleased with herself.

"Merry Christmas!" everyone chorused as the couple walked back into the Mystery Shack to get their coats, before making their way back into the dark pine woods.

/

Dipper and Wendy held hands as they walked through the forest, stopping every so often to lean against a tree trunk and kiss hungrily. In his giddiness, Dipper forgot all about the sensation of being watched he'd been worried about earlier in the evening. If the back of his neck was tingling, he didn't notice, because his whole body was tingling. He couldn't contain his happiness, and would just burst into laughter from time to time.

"Wendy, this is literally the best night of my life," he breathed, as they stopped walking and he pinned her against a tree, his mouth pressing hot kisses along her neck, his hands exploring the contours of her body.

Wendy sighed softly, her eyes closed in bliss. Age was definitely not an issue with Dipper. She could sense, in his kisses, the pent up frustration and longing he had felt over the summer, and during previous week.

Dipper's mouth met Wendy's with an urgency, a physical need. She was so soft against him; still his strong, capable Wendy, but more vulnerable. He wanted to hold her forever, to protect her. Their kiss deepened, becoming almost animalistic. Briefly Dipper wondered if Wendy was still going to make him sleep in her brothers' room tonight. He doubted it.

Suddenly, Wendy stopped kissing him, inhaling sharply. Dipper pulled away, afraid again that he had somehow hurt her. She was staring over his shoulder, her eyes wide, hands clenching his arms so tightly that her knuckles were white.

"Wyn Dahlia, daughter of the Green," rasped a harsh male voice, "We are commanded by Him to bring you home."

Dipper spun around, and adrenaline shot through his body as he realized they were surrounded. Cloaked, dark figures wielding wooden staves moved toward them. Dipper threw his arms out, attempting to block Wendy.

"Back off!" he shouted. "I don't know who you are, but you've obviously got Wendy confused with someone else!"

One figure broke away from the group and walked slowly forward. As he passed through a beam of moonlight, it was clear he was not human. His skin appeared to be weathered bark, the deep black eyes peering from under the hood of his dark cloak, emotionless. "We are not confused," he stated flatly, his voice creaking like trees swaying in the wind. "Wyn Dahlia is a daughter of the Green. She wears the pendant. We are the Green Guard. He commands her presence."

Wendy found her voice, although it was rather shaky. "Look, I don't know who the hell you guys are, or how you know my legal name, but I'm not some 'daughter of the Green.' What does that even mean? This pendant belonged to my mom; it's not some mystical talisman."

"Your real name is Wyn Dahlia?" whispered Dipper.

"This is _not_ the time, Dip," she hissed back at him.

"If the daughter of the Green refuses to come with us willingly, He has authorized the use of force," said the figure in front of them. A smile slowly spread across his face, bits of his bark-like skin crumbling off with the effort. "Are we going to have to use force?"

"Bring it on," said Dipper, his voice low and dangerous.

"Very well," rasped the creature, raising his staff to strike.

"WENDY, RUN!" screamed Dipper, as he leapt to intercept the blow. It landed with a resounding thud against his chest, bruising a few ribs, and knocking the wind out of him. He forced himself up, but when he tried to leap at the creature once again, he tripped on something, and landed hard against the ground. Struggling to get up, he realized that vines had started twining around his feet and up his legs.

"Foolish pretender," sneered the guard, as the vines continued to wrap tightly around Dipper, further immobilizing him. "We are of the Green. Why would we participate in your brutish fighting, when nature is so willing to help us?"

Dipper was clawing at the vines, when he heard a desperate shriek from behind him.

"DIPPER!"

"WENDY!" he cried, turning to see her being held tightly by two of the bark creatures, as thick vines snaked around her tightly, covering her heaving chest, her neck, her mouth. Finally, all Dipper could see were her panicked, tear-filled green eyes—then suddenly, nothing. The vines, which had been tight against her body, flopped to the forest floor, empty. All around him, the Green Guard melted back into the darkness of the woods, save for the one who had attacked Dipper.

"WHERE IS SHE? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?" Dipper screamed, his voice raw, tears of rage spilling down his cheeks.

"As I have told you," the creature said calmly, as if explaining something to a small child, "He required the presence of Wyn Dahlia, daughter of the Green. She is with Him now, safe. You need not concern yourself with her anymore. No human may enter the Green Realm. You will never see her again."

With that, the creature disappeared into the darkness of the forest, and the vines holding Dipper immobile dissolved.

Dipper collapsed on the forest floor, his body wracked with sobs. He felt completely helpless. Around him, a light snow began to fall, the flakes glittering in the moonbeams that filtered through the trees. It was beautiful. Dipper saw none of it.

As he cried on the cold forest floor, the only thing he could see were Wendy's tear-filled green eyes, pleading with him to help her.

Just before he passed out from a mixture of cold and exhaustion, Dipper whispered, one last time, "Wendy."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

A fire was crackling somewhere nearby, its warmth causing Dipper's nearly frostbitten face and hands to tingle and burn. He touched his forehead and felt horns. Disoriented for a moment, he realized he was still in his Puck costume. The party. Kissing Wendy. _Wendy!_

Dipper's eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright, then grabbed his bruised ribs, wincing. He was in a cave, which was dimly lit by only the small fire burning a few feet from him.

"Ah, Dipper Pines, I'm glad you are finally awake. I was beginning to worry," a gruff, but pleasant voice said from behind him.

Dipper turned, and a welcome sight greeted him—the Multibear slowly ambled toward him from the entrance of the cave, most of his faces wearing expressions of kindly concern.

"Multibear! How did I end up in your cave? The last thing I remember was…" Dipper trailed off.

"I heard quite a commotion in forest in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, and found you unconscious, lying in a small clearing," explained the Multibear. "When I was unable to rouse you, I brought you here. You were dangerously cold for one without fur. How did you come to be there, Dipper Pines? And why are you dressed like the Trickster?"

"You mean my Puck costume? It was for a party I went to last night. As for why I was lying unconscious in the middle of the woods…" Dipper stared at his hands for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "Do you know anything about a place called The Green Realm?" he inquired.

All of the Multibear's heads cocked to the side at once. "I do, but you should not. Humans are not permitted there. It is the dominion of The Green Man."

"That must be who 'He' is," muttered Dipper. "Multibear, my fr-girlfriend, Wendy Corduroy and I were attacked last night on our way back to her house from the Mystery Shack. These cloaked humanoid creatures with tree bark for skin came out of nowhere and demanded that Wendy accompany them to The Green Realm. They said she was a daughter of the Green, and 'He' required her presence. I tried to fight them so Wendy could run, but they caught her and…" Dipper's voice quivered with emotion at the memory. "They wrapped her in vines, and then she just disappeared. Their leader told me I'd never see her again."

The Multibear's main head frowned. "They called her a 'daughter of the green?'"

"Yeah. And her name is Wendy, but the called her 'Wyn Dahlia,'" added Dipper.

"This may seem like a strange question, but are you acquainted with your girlfriend's parents?" asked the Multibear.

"Her dad, yeah. But her mom disappeared when Wendy was only like ten years old," supplied Dipper.

"Oh dear," murmured the Multibear.

"Why 'oh dear'?" asked Dipper. "Oh dear sounds bad."

"Dipper, I want to help you find your Wendy, but I do not think I can help you unless I have some answers—answers which you will have to obtain from Wendy's father," said the Multibear, apologetically.

Dipper gulped. "Are… are you sure I have to get the answers from him? I can't, like, look them up in city hall, or ask around town? Because I was _really_ hoping to rescue Wendy without Manly Dan even finding out she was ever gone."

"I am sorry, but her father is the only one who would be able to provide the answers you seek," said the Multibear. "You must talk to him before I am able to offer you any assistance."

"Fine," sighed Dipper. "I let his only daughter get kidnapped by creepy bark men, and I have to ask him about his wife, all traces of whom he got rid of after she disappeared six years ago. This could only go well." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "What am I supposed to ask him?"

"I believe you will first have to explain what happened to Wendy. Then you must ask him who his wife was, and what he knows about her family." The Multibear took in Dipper's resigned expression. "This is all very important. I would not ask it of you if it wasn't."

"Oh, believe me, I am fully aware of how important it is," said Dipper. "My girlfriend is trapped in… is it another dimension…? Anyway, she's trapped where humans are supposedly forbidden. She only just became my girlfriend last night. I'm not losing her now."

"Very well," said the Multibear, nodding its heads. "If you feel the need, you may rest in my cave awhile longer before beginning your task. You appear to be in pain."

Dipper stood up slowly, wincing as his bruised ribs ached. "Thanks, but I'll be okay. I just want to get this part over with so I can get Wendy back." He began to make his way to the cave entrance.

"Good luck, Dipper Pines," the Multibear called to him as he left. "I will remain here, awaiting your return with the answers you seek."

/

Dipper blinked, his eyes watering as he stepped from the dimness of the Multibear's cave into the bright morning light. A thin dusting of snow covered the grass and trees, sparkling in the sun and crunching underfoot as he made his way slowly through the woods toward the Corduroy family cabin.

When Dipper was about halfway there, he came upon a small clearing. "This is where it happened," he murmured to himself.

He walked to the edge of the clearing, where he had last seen Wendy. There he found a large pile of withered vines, and a few feet away, the woven circlet of flowers and reeds that Wendy had been wearing for the party. It must have fallen off during the struggle.

He held his ribs as he slowly bent down to pick the crown up, the words of the leader of the Green Guard echoing through his head: " _You need not concern yourself with her anymore. No human may enter the Green Realm. You will never see her again."_

 _You're wrong about that_ , thought Dipper, as he wiped a single, angry tear from his cheek. He gripped the floral crown tightly as he made his way to the Corduroy cabin, steeling himself for the uncomfortable conversation ahead of him.

/

Dipper arrived back at Wendy's house and let himself in. Wendy hadn't bothered to lock the door before they left for the party. The cabin seemed so empty. Dipper's footsteps echoed off the walls as he made his way to the kitchen.

Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, Dipper frowned. The battery was dead. He slipped it back into his pocket, and grabbed the cordless house phone off its cradle. He dialed the number to Manly Dan's satellite phone that was written on the fridge. Dipper's heart was pounding in his ears as the phone rang twice.

"Hi sweetie!" Manly Dan greeted the only person who had the number to his satellite phone.

Dipper tried to speak, but his voice caught in his throat. He coughed.

"…Wendy, are you okay?" asked Manly Dan with concern. Static crackled quietly on the line.

"It-it's not Wendy, Mr. Corduroy. It's Dipper."

"Dipper? Why are you—is Wendy okay? Is she hurt or sick?"

"No... she—I was told she would be safe, but I have no way of knowing…" Dipper trailed off. He couldn't bring himself to say that Wendy was gone.

"Dipper," growled Manly Dan quietly, "Where is my daughter?"

"She was t-taken, Mr. Corduroy." Now that it was out in the open, the story just flowed out of Dipper. He barely paused to breathe, as he said "We were attacked in the woods by these weird creatures that resembled people, but with bark for skin. They called her Wyn Dahlia; they said she was 'a daughter of the Green' and said ' _He'_ required her presence. I tried to fight them but they caught her and disappeared with her and their leader said they took her to the 'Green Realm' and that humans can't go there and I'll never see her again and—" Dipper cut himself off because he ran out of wind. He took a deep breath and began again. "The Multibear found me passed out in the woods, and when I woke up he said the only way he'd be able to help me is if I got you to tell me about your wife and her family." Dipper sat down at the kitchen table, clenching and unclenching his fist, waiting to be verbally executed by Manly Dan.

There was a pause. The background static hissed between the phone lines.

"Dammit."

Dipper had expected to be berated, yelled at, and blamed. What he didn't expect was the tone of resignation in Manly Dan's voice.

"Mr. Corduroy, what—"

"I should have expected this," said Manly Dan, his gruff voice unusually quiet. "I got overconfident after all these years, let my guard down. God _dammit_ , I should never have left her by herself."

"You… should have expected this? Why would you expect this?" asked Dipper incredulously.

"Dipper, Wendy isn't entirely human," Manly Dan stated plainly.

Dipper sat quietly for a moment, letting Manly Dan's words sink in.

"I… I beg your _what_?"

"My wife, Beithe, was a dryad," said Manly Dan.

"I—I think I'm gonna need details," stammered Dipper. "Tell. Me. Everything."

Manly Dan sighed, and began his tale.

/

"I met Beithe in the forest. I mean, where else would you meet a dryad, I guess? I didn't know at the time that she was a dryad, though. She appeared human. She was this beautiful, tall, slender girl, with long, auburn hair. Wendy looks a lot like her.

Anyway, I'm out in a pretty remote part of the forest, cutting down some old growth trees to sell to the lumber company. I start to swing my axe into this one particularly majestic redwood, when I hear a woman's voice behind me scream 'No, not that one!' It startles me so much I drop my axe on my foot. (Nearly severed my big toe; there was blood everywhere). She runs up to me, in this flowing white sundress, her hair blowing in the breeze, and I forget about my foot—she was that beautiful.

She's all apologies. She sits me down, and rips strips of fabric from the hem of her dress so she can bandage my foot. I ask her why she yelled, and she blushes and tells me that the particular tree I intended to cut down has a soul, and is her friend. I just figure she's a hippy, so I go along with it.

She helps me back to town, and it's getting dark, so I ask her where she's staying. She says she was just staying in the woods (camping, I figured), but since it's already getting dark I ask her if she wants to stay at my cabin for the night. She agrees.

So we stay up all night talking, and I'm just enamored with how genuine and kind she is. She just radiates happiness when she talks about trees, and nature. I ask her why she's being so nice to me when she knows I cut down trees for a living. She tells me that nature provides for us, so being a lumberjack isn't an inherently bad thing. She just wants me to be more careful about which trees I cut down. And she makes me promise to, once a year, plants a new grove of trees to 'atone' for all the ones I've cut down. (I still do this, by the way. Every year).

I ask her how to tell which trees are okay to cut down from those that aren't, and she gives me all sorts of signs to look for…certain formations in the bark, how high up the branches start, weird stuff like that. I start thinking she may not be just your average tree hugger.

Anyway, I fall asleep as the sun's coming up, and when I wake up she's gone. My foot doesn't hurt, so I take the bandage off, and it's fully healed. This is when I decide I have to find her again.

It doesn't take long. In fact, she finds me. She appears the next time I go out logging…which is strange, because I'm in a completely different part of the woods, miles from where we met. She comes up to me all happy, says she saw me checking that the trees were okay to cut before I cut them. I ask her how she found me. She just smiles and says 'magic.' I start laughing, and say 'No, really.'

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, she changes. She still looks like her, but she's even taller, and her skin looks like papery thin birch bark. Twigs with leaves on them are poking out of her hair… 'I am a dryad,' she tells me. 'A Daughter of the Green.'

I just sink to the ground, flabbergasted. As quick as she went all barky on me, she changes back to the human Beithe. Says she didn't mean to scare me. Wants to explain. I just kinda nod.

Turns out she's from a place called the Green Realm, which is sort of like another dimension, connected to ours through plant life. She tells me she can travel between our dimensions with no problem, but her daddy prefers she stay in the Green, as she calls it. Oh yeah, and her daddy is the Green Man, who is apparently some type of forest god, and also happens to reign as king over the whole Green Realm. So basically, she is a forest-nymph-princess-goddess thing (I never really could define it).

Now I'm not going to go into all the details of our courtship; suffice to say we had a whirlwind romance. A few months after our first meeting, and with some of her dryad friends in attendance, we handfast in a sacred grove in the forest. (We couldn't legally get married, since Beithe didn't legally exist in human record).

Beithe tells me, after the ceremony, that she's chosen me over the Green—now that we're handfasted, she can't go back. Her daddy doesn't know about us, and would be furious if he finds out, seeing as I cut down trees for a living. (He's apparently pretty strict about which trees humans should be allowed to cut… he wants us to only cut trees that are already dead from disease or somesuch nonsense). She says she's left her old life behind, and wants to live in human form, with me—and with our child. That's when I find out she's pregnant.

She also tells me that any daughter born of a dryad and a human is also considered a Daughter of the Green, and can be taught, by her mother, to travel to the Green Realm, where her nature magic will manifest itself. If we have a son, she says, he will be a normal human.

When Wendy—Wyn Dahlia—is born, we have to discuss what to do about her being a forest nymph. Beithe says that she wants to raise her as a human, and once she reaches an age mature enough to understand the ramifications, give her a choice to enter the Green. She has a special pendant, imbued with magic, which would act as a sort of guide for Wendy when she entered the Green; since, having married me, Beithe is too afraid of the wrath of the Green Man to accompany her.

Well, fast forward to six years ago. Beithe has been uneasy for a bit, telling me she keeps seeing things out of the corner of her eye when she's in the forest—she says she feels like she's being watched. She tells me that she thinks somehow the Green Man has found her, even though she's been careful to never use her magic. I tell Beithe she's just being paranoid. He hasn't come after her in all the years we've been together, so why would he now? Beithe reluctantly tells me that the magical pendant she'd been saving for Wendy has gone missing, and she is afraid it has somehow been activated.

One night, after the kids have gone to sleep, our front door bangs open, and in barges this, well, literally _Green Man_. He's got all manner of foliage sprouting from him, leaves all around his head, and vines snaking out from him in all directions. The arrogant bastard just glares at me, and says 'I'll be taking back what's mine now.' And his vines wrap around Beithe and pull her to him, quicker than either of us can react. 'My daughter,' he says to her, sneering, 'say goodbye to your dear Romeo.' And then they vanish.

I don't know what to do. I have no way to get to her. And I'm suddenly a single father. So I do the best I know to do, and get rid of all of Beithe's stuff. All of it. Not only can I not handle seeing reminders of her every day, but the magical pendant she had been saving for Wendy must be somewhere among her things. I can't risk Wendy finding it and activating it. So everything goes.

The kids, of course, are completely torn up. They keep asking where mom went, when will she be back? I think Wendy is the only one who understands her mom won't be back. I try to be a good dad to her and the boys, but I have this one big secret always hanging over my head that I can never tell them—especially not Wendy. But it looks like somehow the Green Man got wind that he had another 'Daughter of the Green' roaming around Gravity Falls. I wish I knew how…

Well, Dipper, that's pretty much it. I don't know how your friend the Multibear can use my story to rescue Wendy, but I hope it helps."

/

Dipper's jaw had been hanging open so long that his mouth felt like cotton.

"I… I know how they found her," he rasped. Still holding the phone to his ear, he got up and got a glass of water.

"Really?" asked Manly Dan. "How?"

Dipper took a couple quick gulps of water and sat the glass down. "Was the pendant gold, and had a tree on it with emerald shards for leaves?"

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Mr. Corduroy, Wendy has had it this whole time," explained Dipper. "She showed it to me last night. She wore it as part of (ironically) a forest nymph costume that she made for a party we went to. She said it was the only thing she had left of her mom's."

Manly Dan was quiet for a moment. " _Sonofabitch_."

"I'm gonna go now," said Dipper. "I want to get back up to Multibear's cave so I can tell him what you told me."

"Good luck, Dipper."

"Thanks."

/

As soon as Dipper hung up the phone, he went back to Wendy's brothers' room, where he plugged his cell phone in to charge. He grabbed his backpack, checked to make sure his pocket knife was still inside, and threw in clean boxers, socks, a couple shirts, and a pair of jeans. He emptied the tepid, old water from the bottom of his water bottle, and filled it with fresh from the bathroom sink. He didn't have any idea what kind of plan Multibear had in mind, but he didn't plan on sleeping in the Corduroy cabin again until he had Wendy safely back.

Dipper walked to Wendy's room, and paused in front of her door. He wanted to grab some snacks from her stash to take with him, but he didn't want to invade her privacy. He smiled, as he imagined what she would say. _Dude, relax. It's totally okay. Grab all the noms you need._

"Thanks, Wendy," Dipper whispered, as he pushed her door open.

Dipper opened her top dresser drawer, and grabbed a few granola bars and packs of peanut butter crackers. As he was leaving the room, something red poking out from underneath Wendy's pillow caught his eye. It was an envelope. He picked it up and turned it over. His name was scrawled on the back in big, loopy handwriting. Hands shaking, he tore the top of the envelope open, and pulled out a letter.

 _Merry Christmas Dipper!_

 _Sorry you're getting a Christmas letter instead of card, I know it's pretty lame of me. However, in my defense, I haven't done the whole "Christmas" deal in years. I forgot that Christmas cards are like, a thing._

 _I normally try not to get very sappy on you, because, you know, awkward. But since it's the holidays, I guess a little sap is okay._

 _I just want to let you know how much you mean to me, Dip. You're totally my best friend, man, even though you're younger than me. When we hang out I forget that there's an age difference between us at all. Whether that means you're mature for your age, or I'm immature, I'll leave up to you to decide._

 _I'm really sad your visit is going to end in just a little over a week. I've had so much fun. I wish you lived here. It would be good times, man._

 _Well, I need to wrap this up. You're telling me we need to get going to Mabel's party._

 _Thanks for being awesome, Dipper. I know you'll always be there for me, and that means a lot._

 _Love,_

 _Wendy_

Dipper took a shaky breath and folded the letter back up, carrying it back to his room and placing it in his backpack along with the snacks. He unplugged his phone and shoved it in his pocket, shouldered the backpack, and made his way to the front of the cabin, ready to face anything Multibear threw at him.

"I won't let you down, Wendy," he said quietly.

/

Dipper didn't even make it out of Wendy's yard before he was tackled by a flying hug.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS BRO-BRO!" cried Mabel, giving him a final squeeze, then disengaging. She looked him up and down, quizzically. "Uh, Dipper? Why are you still dressed as Puck?"

"Dammit," groaned Dipper. "I knew I was forgetting something."

"What's going on, Dipstick? Why has your phone been off all day? You look like crap. Where's Wendy?"

"Listen Mabel, I don't have time to give you the full version, so here is the short one: Wendy was kidnapped by tree people last night and taken to another dimension called the Green Realm because it turns out her mom's a dryad which means she is too and humans can't enter the Green so Multibear is trying to help me figure out how to rescue her."

Mabel stared at him for a second, then slowly began to giggle. "Ha…hahaha… so you're saying Wendy's a mythical woodland creature? Uh-huh. Bro-bro, be serious!" She punched him in the shoulder.

Dipper stared at her, his face completely deadpan. "Mabel, why would I make that up?"

"So… you're serious? Wendy's been spirited away to some other dimension?" asked Mabel, concern replacing the mirth in her voice.

"Yup. Multibear thinks he might be able to help me rescue her. I'm headed back to his cave right now."

"Then I'm coming with you," said Mabel.

"No, you're not, Mabel. I don't even know what he has planned yet," said Dipper. Mabel put her hands on her hips and opened her mouth to argue, but Dipper shushed her. "Look, I charged my cell phone. I will text you when I find out what his plan is. If you can be of any help, I'll let you know, I promise."

Mabel sighed. "Fine. I'll be at the Mystery Shack. I should let everyone know what happened. Be careful, Dip."

"I will, sis."

/

The sky was just becoming tinged with the velvety purple of twilight as Dipper made his way into the entrance of Multibear's cave.

"I'm back with answers, Multibear," called Dipper into the darkness beyond the small fire.

"Ah, welcome back, Dipper Pines," said Multibear as he ambled slowly out of the shadows. "The most important question I need you to answer is this: was Wendy's mother human, or something else?"

"She was a dryad," said Dipper wryly. "Which, I've been told, means that Wendy is also a dryad. She just hadn't been…is activated the right word?"

A chuckle echoed out of the shadows behind the Multibear.

Dipper stiffened. "Who's here with us?"

"Well, my friend, I had already guessed that your Wendy was born of a dryad mother, based on what you told me previously. I just needed you to confirm it," said the Multibear. "Getting her back from the clutches of the Green Man will be no easy task, so I called in, as you humans would say, 'the big guns.'"

Dipper cocked an eyebrow. "The big guns?"

A figure emerged from the shadows, dressed in khakis and a freshly ironed green button-down shirt, a grin spread across his unremarkable face.

"Hello, Dipper Pines!" said Tad Strange.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Tad Strange strode purposefully up to Dipper, his hand extended. "I don't think we've ever been formally introduced," he said, shaking Dipper's hand with a firm grip. "I'm—"

"I know who you are," interrupted Dipper. He turned to the Multibear, and asked, "Are you sure you understand what the human phrase 'the big guns' means?"

The Multibear chuckled, a deep rumbling sound, and said to Tad. "Come now, my friend, it is time to drop the farce."

Tad rolled his eyes and sighed. "You woodland creatures have no sense of whimsy." Glancing at Dipper's costume, he remarked "Now he looks like he could use a little whimsy, himself. Seriously kid, I'm flattered, but the outfit's all wrong. And the hair? Ehhh, I've seen better. So nice you took the time, though."

Dipper narrowed his eyes. Clearly he was missing something. "What are you even talking about? I'm dressed like Puck, from A Midsummer Night's Dream."

"Ugh. Frickin' Shakespeare," spat Tad. "Should've never granted his wish to be a great writer. Writers take _waaa_ y too many liberties."

"I—what?" Dipper was beyond confused.

"Really? Still clueless?" Tad said with a wicked grin. "Yo, Multibear, you said this kid was supposed to be smart."

"Robin, please just explain yourself to the young man," said the Multibear, a hint of laughter in his voice.

"Robin? But you're Tad Strange…" Dipper trailed off.

"Ugh, the name thing," groaned Tad. "Always the name thing. The ancient peoples never could come to a consensus on what to call me. Well, I've always heard showing is better than telling, so—"

Tad Strange popped out of existence. In his place, stood a short, twenty-something man, with shaggy brown hair and a goatee, a mischievous glint sparkling in his vividly green eyes. He was shirtless, and quite fit. Dipper didn't pay attention to the majority of the young man's appearance, however, being that he was distracted by the gigantic ram's horns sprouting from his head, and the fact that he had goat legs.

"Puh… Puck?" stammered Dipper.

"I've been known to go by that name, yes," the satyr said. "Also Pan, Robin Goodfellow, Hobgoblin, Pooka, Jack Robinson, the list goes on. Like I said, nobody could ever come to a consensus as to my 'official' name. It's really quite tedious," he stated with disdain.

"His name tends to change depending on the region and time in history," supplied the Multibear.

"Oookay," said Dipper slowly. "So… who are you really? And why were you Tad Strange?"

The satyr laughed loudly, the echo within the cave making him sound maniacal. "This kid gets straight to the point! Teddy here calls me Robin, but thanks to Will Shakespeare's dumb play, I am most well known as Puck, so I guess call me that. And I've always been a tad strange," he quipped, winking at Dipper.

Dipper stared at Puck blankly.

"Oh, c'mon kid, lighten up. If you must know, I was taking an extended vacation. Being a god isn't all sunshine and daisies." He paused and grinned, a small bouquet of daisies materializing in his hand. He tossed them over his shoulder, and they burst into a cloud of shimmering glitter. "I mean, it could be if I wanted it to. But sometimes a god just needs time to unwind, you know? Mingle among the mere mortals. Be normal."

Multibear huffed. "You had better clean that up. If you don't I'll be finding glitter in my fur for months. I don't want to sparkle."

"Ah yes, the herpes of the arts and crafts world," said Puck. "We can't have you spreading herpes, now can we?" He snapped his fingers, and the pile of glitter vanished.

Dipper crossed his arms. "Right. So we've established you can do magic tricks. How exactly are you supposed to help me rescue Wendy from the Green Realm?"

"Dipper, you must try and show some respect," chided the Multibear. "Robin is not your average satyr. You heard him—he is a _god_."

"God of what, exactly?" asked Dipper. "Look, if we're going to be talking for long, I'm going to sit by the fire. This _mere mortal_ is getting kind of cold." He walked over to the fire and sat in front of it, cross-legged. Multibear padded over and sat next to Dipper with a sigh.

Puck continued to stand, and began pacing as he attempted to answer Dipper's question.

"Okay, Dipper, here's the thing. I'm a nature god, but also a trickster. I can conjure things out of thin air. Pretty much anything—if I can imagine it, it happens. I can grant the wishes, or come to the aid of mortals who I deem worthy. However, if I deem you unworthy, or I just don't like your face, I can cause all sorts of chaos for you."

"So what you're telling me is I need to stay on your good side, then?" asked Dipper sarcastically.

"Well, yeah, that's kind of a given," said Puck. "Although I already deemed you worthy of my aid before you even needed it. I kept an eye on you all summer, you know."

Dipper furrowed his brows. "Why?"

"Cause you got spunk, kid. I like the cut of your jib," said Puck, and then muttered quickly "Plus you thwarted an apocalypse that I might have accidentally had a hand in."

"Wait, what?" asked Dipper.

"Let's just say, Bill Cipher? Not one of my better ideas."

"I—you—he— _what?!_ " Dipper sputtered.

"Dipper, you are losing sight of why Robin is here," interjected the Multibear. "He agreed to help you rescue your Wendy from the Green Realm—a task you can certainly not do without him."

"Fine," said Dipper. He glared at Puck. "We'll just have to discuss _that_ later. How do you propose I rescue Wendy, when humans can't get into the Green?"

"Uh, derr," mocked Puck. "By not being human, dummy."

Dipper's left eye twitched. "What exactly… would I be?"

"Well that remains to be seen, doesn't it?" asked Puck with a mischievous grin. He crooked his finger at Dipper. "Let's have a look at you."

Dipper stood, reluctantly. Multibear nudged him forward, and he slowly made his way over to stand in front of Puck.

"First things first, let's get you out those rags," said Puck, as he lazily waved his hand, and Dipper's clothes vanished.

"HEY!" screeched Dipper, crouching down to cover his bits and pieces. Multibear roared with laughter in the background.

"Let's see now… centaur?" Puck muttered to himself. At the word 'centaur,' Dipper's torso was suddenly attached to the body of a large, chestnut horse.

"What the?!" Dipper yelped, craning his neck to stare at his glossy, brown equine form. He swished his tail angrily. "Seriously?!"

"Nah, too bulky," said Puck, ignoring Dipper's outburst. He snapped his fingers. "Gnome!"

Instantly, Dipper was about shin-height with Puck, a bushy beard sprouting from his face.

"Huh-uh, nope, not happening. I refuse to be a gnome," Dipper said, stamping a tiny foot in frustration.

"Yeah, gnomes are kind of useless anyway," said Puck absently, lost in thought. "Hmm…werewolf?"

Were-Dipper's hackles rose and he growled menacingly.

"Right, you don't like that one either," Puck observed. "Too cliché anyway. Ha! Pixie!"

Dipper was suddenly about four inches tall, flitting about in the air on iridescent wings. "Okay," he squeaked shrilly, "Now you're just doing this to piss me off!"

"I would never!" said Puck, feigning hurt, holding a hand over his heart. "Wait! I know what you should be… Me!"

Dipper was again his normal height, teetering as he tried to balance on his new shaggy, brown goat legs. He head felt heavy under the weight of enormous, curled ram's horns.

"No offense, but this isn't permanent, is it?" asked Dipper. "Because I'm pretty sure Wendy isn't into goat-men."

"Yeah, about that," said Puck casually, "Once I settle you into this form, it is permanent. _HOWEVER_ ," he said loudly, as Dipper started to protest, "I'm not making you an average, run-of-the-mill satyr. As I said—I'm making you me."

"What does that even mean?" said Dipper, still struggling to keep his head up under the weight of his new horns.

"Ah, sorry kid, I forgot how heavy these things really are," said Puck, pointing to his horns. "Let's give you the nubby ones instead."

Dipper's head suddenly snapped back, as the weight he'd been struggling with disappeared. He touched his forehead, and felt small horns similar to the ones he'd been wearing with his costume. These, however, were firmly rooted into his forehead. They were part of him now.

"You didn't answer my question," said Dipper, scowling at Puck. "What do you mean you're making me you?"

The Multibear ambled over next to Dipper, and put a paw on his shoulder. "Dipper, my friend, he is bestowing upon you a great honor."

"Let's just say," said Puck, grinning, "that I was enjoying my time as Tad so much, I'm thinking of extending my vacation indefinitely… so I'm making you my protégé."

"…You're making me a god?" said Dipper, bewildered.

"No," said Puck. "Well, yes, technically. You're going to be like a god intern."

"Don't I get any say in this?" asked Dipper. "This is kind of overwhelming."

"I am sorry this is upsetting you, my friend," said the Multibear. "But this is the only way for you to rescue your Wendy. Is she worth all this to you?"

"Of-of course she is," sighed Dipper. "Definitely. This is just kind of a big deal. It's going to take some time to get used to, I think."

"You don't know the half of it," said Puck with a snort. "Becoming me also means gaining my powers. Not all at once, either. Using them is going to take practice. You might not be able to control a lot of it for a while. And the complex stuff, like teleportation, that's a long way off."

"Well, I guess I'll take it as it comes," said Dipper, squaring his shoulders. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get my girlfriend back."

"Ah, young love," swooned Puck. "It's just so—wait a minute. How old _are_ you kid?"

"I'm thirteen," said Dipper, trying to stand a little taller, wobbling on his hooves. "So technically, a teen."

"Oh, this won't do at all," said Puck, clucking his tongue. "I _do_ have an image to maintain. Sorry, _we_ have an image to maintain." He paused for a moment, rubbing his goatee in thought. "Let's see how _this_ looks."

A full length mirror appeared in front of Dipper. He stared at himself in awe. The goat parts were still there, the horns slightly more prominent, and the legs a little shaggier. But what Dipper was more interested in was his physique. He was still clearly Dipper, but with some…adjustments. He was another few inches taller, his jaw was chiseled, and his shoulders broad and muscular. His chest was covered in a light brown fuzz, and his abdominal muscles were clearly visible.

"I have abs—is that? That's my voice?" Dipper exclaimed, his hand going to his throat. "HOLY CRAP I SOUND LIKE DAVID DUCHOVNY."

"You have been given a rare gift, indeed," said the Multibear, sounding impressed.

"This is a good look for you," said Puck. "And you're welcome. Now just to be clear: you're seventeen. Good luck with those hormones."

"Wait, I'm _actually_ seventeen? Like, I don't just look it, I _am seventeen_?" asked Dipper.

"Yup. I aged your cells, all of you. I have to say, kid," remarked Puck. "You look almost better than I do. _Almost._ "

"This is my final form," whispered Dipper. "Oh crap, Mabel is going to freak."

"Okay, this has all been fun and whatnot, but Tad's favorite show is coming on in a few minutes, so we gotta wrap this up," Puck said briskly. He clapped his hands, and the mirror in front of Dipper disappeared, so that they were once again face to face. Puck stepped forward, and put his hands on Dipper's shoulders.

"Dipper Pines, I am bestowing upon you a great honor, and great responsibility," he said, his voice serious for once. "I have not only given you my form, I am also giving you my powers. As I said earlier, you will not be able to use them all at once. You will have to learn to control them gradually. It will take time. It will probably be frustrating. But you have proven yourself worthy of this gift time and time again. I have faith that you will succeed in your task of rescuing your girlfriend from the clutches of the Green Man, and do me proud. Are you prepared to take your place as my protégé, and absorb my powers?"

Dipper nodded mutely, the gravity of the moment overwhelming him.

Slowly, Puck raised a hand toward Dipper's head, pointing with his index finger. He moved it closer to Dipper's face, until it was directly in front of his nose. Then he booped Dipper's nose gently, saying "Wert."

Dipper blinked in surprise. "That was a little anti-climactic."

"Eh, well, not everything can be exciting, kid. Now, if you'll excuse me," Puck was suddenly gone, replaced by Tad Strange, "my show is about to come on. Bye Multibear; it's been fun!"

"WAIT!" cried Dipper.

Tad sighed and crossed his arms. "What is it? I swear, if you make me miss something important to the plot…"

"What…uh… am I supposed to do now?" asked Dipper. "How do I get into the Green Realm? How will I find Wendy?"

"Oh, your guide will be at the Mystery Shack. They'll help you get in. As for what to do once you're in…" Tad shrugged his shoulders. "You're on your own. Bye now!" Tad Strange vanished, leaving Dipper and the Multibear alone in the dimly lit cave.

"I suppose you should head down to the Mystery Shack now, and find your guide," said the Multibear.

Dipper sighed. "I guess so... Wait, where are my pants?!"

"Most satyrs don't wear pants. The fur covers the privates, so no one can see," said the Multibear, as if this was common knowledge.

"Well, I want more than fur between Little Dipper and the big wide world," said Dipper, scowling. "Plus my cell phone was in my pocket."

"I am sorry, Dipper. I do not know where the items that Robin makes disappear end up," said the Multibear. "That is if they even still actually exist somewhere. They may not."

"Great," muttered Dipper. "I was supposed to text Mabel when I knew the plan. Instead, I just get to surprise everyone when I show up at the Mystery Shack as a seventeen-year-old half-goat."

"That will indeed be surprising," said the Multibear, nodding. "Honestly, though—if you were to text your sister that you have been made a sort-of-god, and are also now a satyr, as well as seventeen years old… would she even believe you?"

"With Mabel, you never know," said Dipper, shrugging. "This is going to be an interesting evening."

Dipper walked over to his backpack, which he had thankfully deposited on the ground before being unceremoniously stripped of his clothing. He grabbed jeans and a shirt, and attempted to put them on.

"Son of a—my clothes don't fit at all anymore!" he groaned. He couldn't get the shirt down over his now broad shoulders, and his jeans would not pull up past his muscular goat thighs.

"You are a bit bigger now, Dipper Pines," said the Multibear, suppressing a laugh. "Robin has the ability to materialize anything out of nothing—perhaps you can try to cultivate that particular power on your walk back down to the Mystery Shack."

Dipper smiled weakly. "I guess that's all I can do." He shoved the offending garments into his backpack, and slung it over his shoulder. "Well, Multibear, thanks for all your help. I'm off to stumble clumsily through the forest on my new legs, and then scare the bejesus out of my sister and our friends."

"Goodbye Dipper, and good luck," said the Multibear, as he walked Dipper to the entrance of his cave.

Dipper silently touched the Multibear's shoulder and nodded. Then he turned and made his way out into the chill winter evening, toward the Mystery Shack, and the unknown guide that would accompany him into the Green Realm.

/

 **I hope you liked this chapter! It was a lot of fun to write. I'd like to give a special shout-out to Fullmetalkhaos, for his help with some of Puck's dialogue. He's especially good at being a cocky sonofabitch. XD**

 **Also I'd like to give a huge thank you to everyone who's left me reviews—I really do appreciate them, and look forward to seeing what you think of each chapter. Oh, and feel free to hit me up with any questions about what's going on, or where certain characters are. Someone asked me where Candy was at in all this. She's visiting family overseas during winter break. There hasn't really been a reason for the characters to bring it up, so I just haven't included it in the story.**

 **I'll see you again soon with chapter seven!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The lone satyr made his way through the dark forest, occasionally stumbling as if he never learned to walk correctly. A backpack was slung over his shoulder, and under his breath he kept mumbling the same word over and over.

"Pants. Pants. _Pants!_ " Dipper repeated to himself, scowling as nothing appeared. What good was having magic, when Puck had never actually explained to him how to use it?

Dipper stopped walking for a moment, so he could close his eyes and focus on conjuring himself a pair of jeans. _Details… maybe that's the trick? Soft, well-worn, stone washed denim. Brass button and zipper. Slightly frayed hems._ Dipper opened his eyes—still nothing.

Sighing, he continued on toward the Mystery Shack, shivering in the cold, his breath creating small clouds of steam. He kept picturing different pairs of pants. Even a kilt, just for the heck of it. He was so busy trying to magic himself some pants, he didn't realize he was close to the Mystery Shack until he abruptly walked into the clearing around it, still lit by the fairy lights from the Christmas party.

Dipper glanced up at the roof, where only two nights ago he and Wendy had finally kissed. It already felt like a lifetime ago. He was a completely different person now—literally. What if the changes were too much for her? Would she still want to be with him now?

"Waaaaaaaddles!" Mabel calling for her pet pig from the door of the Mystery Shack startled Dipper from his thoughts. He quickly stepped back into the shadows below the trees, not ready to reveal himself to his sister yet.

A soft grunt came from behind him, and Dipper whirled around to find the beady little eyes of Waddles, the emotional support pig, staring up at him.

"Shoo, Waddles," whispered Dipper. "Go to Mabel."

Waddles stepped forward, his bedazzled vest sparkling as it reflected the glow of the fairy lights. He grunted softly again.

"Waaaaaaaddles!" Mabel's voice was closer this time. Mabel was walking toward the forest, glancing around for her pet.

"Go! Shoo!" Dipper hissed, panicking. He didn't know how to reveal himself to Mabel. Even his voice sounded different, so simply calling out to her to explain before she could see him was pointless.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" squealed Waddles, caterwauling so loudly that the whole clearing echoed with his screech.

"Dammit!" Dipper said softly, dodging behind the nearest tree trunk as Mabel approached at a run.

"Waddles?!" Mabel cried, panic in her voice. She was only about ten feet from her brother.

Dipper heard the pig answer her with a soft grunt directly on the other side of his tree.

"OhmygoshWaddlesareyouokayyouscaredmesomuch!" Mabel uttered breathlessly.

Waddles replied with another soft grunt, and Dipper heard his tiny hooves crunch on the thin crust of snow as he walked around the tree. Dipper looked down, and again, beady little pig eyes met his.

"Thanks a lot, Waddles," he muttered quietly.

Waddles grunted.

"Waddles, what are you oinking at?" asked Mabel, her voice coming closer.

Dipper closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the tree trunk. There was no point in postponing the inevitable.

"Don't come around the tree, Mabel. At least, not yet," he said, defeat heavy in his voice.

"Uh… hi, talking tree?" said Mabel. "How do you know my name?"

"The tree isn't talking to you, Mabel. It's me, Dipper," he said with a sigh.

"No you're not, silly!" said Mabel with a giggle. "My brother doesn't sound like Mulder from the X-Files."

"Mabel, listen. It really is Dipper," he said, "Your bro-bro. We stole a time travel device from Blendin, and I gave up my chance to win a prize for Wendy at the carnival so you would end up with Waddles instead of Pacifica."

"Dipstick? It's really you?" asked Mabel, reluctantly. "Why do you sound like that?"

"Do you want the long version or the short version?" asked Dipper. "Never mind, you're getting the short version. Goat fur isn't particular insulating, and I'm freaking freezing."

"Goat fur? What—" Mabel started to walk around to Dipper's side of the tree, but he threw his arm out to stop her.

"You really need me to explain things _before_ you see me, okay Mabel?" he said. He felt her grab his hand and hold onto it.

"Okay Dipper," she said quietly. "Tell me what you need to tell me."

"Since humans are forbidden to enter the Green Realm, Multibear's plan was to get a god involved," said Dipper. "This particular god happens to be Puck, or Pan, or Robin Goodfellow. Apparently he goes by a lot of names. Anyway, he's a nature god, but also a trickster. Kind of a jackass, really. He told me that in order for me to get into the Green, I had to be 'not human." Dipper heard Mabel gasp, as she squeezed his hand. "He decided to turn me into what he is. A satyr. Not only that, but he wants me to be his protégé. Like, a god with training wheels. And he aged me, Mabel. I'm not only a half goat, but I'm also apparently seventeen years old now…hence the voice change."

Mabel was silent for a moment, processing everything her brother said. "So, we're not twins anymore?" she said, her voice quivering.

"Mabel, I don't care if I'm half a goat, or even a full goat. I'll always be your twin—your bro-bro," said Dipper, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Are you ready to see me now?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she said quietly.

Dipper let go of her hand, and walked out from behind the tree. He held his hands clasped together in front of his nethers.

"Oh."

"Mabel, I—"

"My. GAWD!" cried Mabel. "You look like Mr. Tumnus!"

Dipper stood stunned, as Mabel hugged him and squeed.

"You're not freaked out?" he asked, when she finally let go of him.

"Dipper, you're half-goat, half-naked, and like four years older than me now," said Mabel. "Of course I'm freaked out. But you're still my bro-bro."

Dipper smiled. He should have known that Mabel would always be accepting of him, no matter what.

"Okay, Mabel… here's the thing," said Dipper, "Before I go inside, can you ask Soos if I can borrow a pair of his pants? I'm feeling rather…exposed."

Mabel laughed. "No problem, Dipstick. Be right back." She scooped Waddles into her arms, and made her way back to the Mystery Shack.

/

Mabel had brought Dipper an old pair of Soos' jeans, and a belt with a Batman buckle. He pulled the belt as tightly as it would go, but the pants still sat just below his hips, his brown fur peeking out above the waistband.

"I should have asked Mabel for a shirt, too," he muttered to himself as he walked toward the door of the Mystery Shack. The door flew open and Mabel stuck her head out.

"What took you so long, bro-bro?" she asked.

"My knees," said Dipper. "They don't bend the right way anymore. Pants are a little more of a challenge than I expected."

Mabel giggled. "Well, I told everyone that you look different, but I didn't spoil the surprise. They're all waiting in the living room."

"Oh, good," said Dipper, as he stepped inside.

"Duh-duh-DAAAAAAAAH!" Mabel shouted, as Dipper walked reluctantly into the living room, staring at the floor.

Silence.

"So," said Dipper, finally looking up, meeting the stunned gazes of Soos, Melody, Pacifica and Grenda. "I'm a satyr now."

"Dude," said Soos, "What happened to your voice? You haven't always sounded like that, have you? Because I don't remember you sounding like that."

"Forget his voice," said Pacifica, her eyes wide. "Look at his _abs_. And he has a jawline…"

"He has horns too," volunteered Grenda, not wanting to be left out of the conversation.

"Dip," said Mabel quietly, elbowing her brother. "Explain."

Dipper sighed, and launched into the tale of Wendy being kidnapped, his conversation with Manly Dan, and Multibear introducing him to Puck, who turned Dipper into a satyr and gave him powers.

"Oh, and there's also the whole age thing," he said, as he finished. "Apparently having a thirteen year old protégé doesn't fit his 'image,' so Puck aged me up a few years. I'm seventeen now."

"So," said Melody thoughtfully after Dipper told his story, "how exactly does being a satyr help you rescue Wendy? I mean, powers—those are cool… but how do you use them? How do you even get to the Green Realm?"

"Well," replied Dipper, "I don't exactly know yet. Puck told me that I would find a guide to take me to the Green Realm _here_ …" He looked intently at everyone in the room.

"Don't look at me," said Soos. "I sometimes get lost trying to find the way out of my own bedroom, dude."

"Sorry, Dip, but I'm one-hundred percent, pure, Grade-A human," said Pacifica with a smirk.

"Also human," said Melody, raising her hand.

"Do you think maybe Puck meant _Waddles_?" Mabel said excitedly, scooping up the pig from the floor and giving him a squeeze. Waddles squealed and flailed his legs in an effort to get down.

"Gods, I hope not," muttered Dipper.

Grenda cleared her throat loudly, and stood up.

"What's up?" asked Dipper.

"I can get you there," said Grenda. "To the Green Realm, I mean. I know the way in."

"How could you possibly know that?" asked Pacifica in disbelief. "Unless…"

"I'm one-eighth troll," said Grenda.

"I _knew_ it!" cried Pacifica triumphantly.

"What?" asked Mabel, sounding hurt. "Why'd you never tell me?"

"It just never came up," said Grenda with a shrug. "Candy knows, but nobody else. Well, except you guys now, I guess."

"Candy knows?! Why did you tell her and not me?" asked Mabel, feeling sorry for herself.

Grenda shrugged again. "It came up."

"So one-eighth," said Melody. "Great grandparent?"

Grenda nodded. "My great grandpa on my dad's side."

"Dude, that's so awesome," said Soos. "So did he, like, live under a bridge? Did he hunt billy-goats? Wait, should—should Dipper be concerned? Because he's like half a goat now, dudes."

Dipper cleared his throat. He was not terribly excited at the prospect of embarking on an epic journey to rescue his true love with _Grenda_ , of all people, but if that's how it had to be, he would accept it.

"Look guys, if Grenda knows the way, then she and I better get going," he said impatiently.

"What?!" cried Mabel. "No! Not yet, Dipper! Besides the fact that you're completely unprepared, Grenda needs to let her parents know where she's going so they don't think she's been kidnapped or murdered or something! Not to mention that you seriously need some rest—you look dead on your hooves."

"Mabel's right, Dipper, you look zonked," said Soos. "Unless satyrs are supposed to have, like, huge bags under their eyes. You should sleep here tonight. Your old bed is still set up in the attic."

Dipper sighed and crossed his arms. "Fine. Grenda, go home and do what you need to do, and get together whatever supplies you think will come in handy. We'll leave first thing in the morning."

"Okay," Grenda grunted. "Mabel, are you staying here with Dipper tonight, or coming with me?"

"Well," said Mabel reluctantly, "My stuff's all at your house. I guess I better go with you." She gave Dipper a hug. "I'll be here bright and early with some Mabel juice for you, okay bro-bro?"

"Is that a threat?" asked Dipper.

"Oh no," said Mabel, flashing him a braces-filled grin. "It's a _promise_."

"See you in the morning, _little_ sis," said Dipper, playfully ruffling her hair.

Mabel blew a raspberry at him, as she and Grenda headed out the door.

Dipper turned to Pacifica. "You should probably get home, too. It's getting pretty late."

"Ha! I don't think so," said Pacifica with a laugh. "And potentially miss seeing off Goat Boy and the Troll Queen in the morning? Soos, do you mind if I stay over tonight, too?"

"I don't see why not," said Soos shrugging. "You can use Mabel's bed in the attic."

"Great," said Dipper. "This isn't going to be awkward at all." He turned and slowly made his way up the stairs, dragging his backpack behind him.

"G'night everyone," he called out when he reached the top of the stairs.

"Sleep well, dude," called Soos.

"I guess I'll head to bed now, too," Dipper heard Pacifica say, as he opened the door to his former bedroom. A bright shaft of light from the full moon fell through the triangle shaped window, illuminating his home away from home. He crossed over to his bed, and sat his backpack down on the floor, before awkwardly attempting to climb between the sheets.

"Trouble, Dipper?" Pacifica said with a chuckle, as she walked in and saw him struggling to get into bed.

"Goat knees bend funny," muttered Dipper, feeling tired and grumpy.

"You know, if you took those pants off, you'd probably have a much better range of motion," observed Pacifica.

"No, wait, I got it," said Dipper, as he sat on the edge of the bed, and swung his legs over onto the mattress.

"You're going to sleep in jeans?" Pacifica asked.

"I don't have anything else that fits," mumbled Dipper, as he turned onto his side, facing the wall.

"Well…" said Pacifica slowly, "you could always sleep naked."

Dipper was quiet. Pacifica crept closer to him.

"Dipper?"

His breathing was slow and even. He was already fast asleep.

Pacifica stared for a moment at the seventeen-year-old satyr's dark, tousled hair, defined jawline, and his muscular neck and shoulders peeking out above the sheets. Sighing, she turned and climbed into Mabel's bed, muttering to herself "Wendy is one lucky bitch."

/

Warm, buttery sunlight filtered down through the leaves, giving everything a soft glow. The young couple, satyr and dryad, lay embracing on the forest floor.

Dipper caressed Wendy's soft cheek, and stared deeply into her emerald eyes, which were filled with tears. She buried her face in his neck, and he kissed the top of her head. Her hair smelled like pine needles. He felt Wendy's hot tears slide down his collar bone. With a finger, he tilted her face back up to look at him. Her tears were flowing thick and fast.

"Shhh, it's okay Wendy, I'm here now. You're safe."

"No, Dipper, you're not," she said, her voice shaking.

"What?"

The soft sunlight faded to gray, the forest becoming dark and menacing. Dipper jumped back as a wooden cage of saplings woven together sprouted around Wendy.

"Wendy!' he cried, reaching out for her. The cage, which was only feet away, seemed to move further back from him, the closer he tried to get to it. He ran at the cage until his lungs were burning, but Wendy was always just out of his grasp.

"Dipper, help!" she cried. And Wendy was gone.

/

Dipper's eyes flew open, his heart pounding, as he sat up quickly and attempted to untangle himself from the sheets. He hopped out of bed before he remembered he had goat legs now, and tripped and fell down spectacularly.

"Whas goin' on?" Pacifica said sitting up in her bed abruptly.

"Just practicing 'stop, drop, and roll," said Dipper casually, from the floor. "You know, like you do."

"What?" asked Pacifica, squinting to see Dipper in the dim, early morning light shining through the window.

"Nothing, Pacifica," said Dipper. "Go back to sleep."

"It's so cold, though," she said, pouting. "Won't you come here and help me warm up?"

Dipper finally made it to his feet. He crossed over to the closet, opened it, and grabbed a fluffy quilt, tossing it directly at Pacifica's face.

"Here," he said. "I'm going to get some breakfast."

/

The gray early morning sky was showing the barest tinge of the light purple and orange of sunrise when Mabel and Grenda arrived back at the Mystery Shack. Mabel was carrying a large, hiking backpack, and Grenda had a huge wooden maul strapped to her back.

"Dude, that's quite a weapon you have there," said Soos, impressed. "You could play an awesome game of Whack-a-Mole with that thing."

"Or whack-a-creepy-tree-man," said Mabel, grinning sleepily.

"Thanks. It's a family heirloom," said Grenda with pride. "I haven't really had a chance to use it before. _Although I've wanted to,"_ she added, giving Pacifica the side-eye.

The blonde didn't notice, however, because she was staring intently at Dipper's abs and belly button.

"Pacifica, sweetie?" said Melody, "You're drooling a little bit."

Pacifica wiped her mouth, and tried to regain her composure. "So, Troll Queen," she said snidely, "where is the entrance to the Green Realm, anyway?"

"About an hour's hike east of here," replied Grenda.

"Too…tired…hike," said Mabel, flopping to the ground. "Say bye here."

"What's with her?" Dipper asked Grenda.

"She stayed up all night knitting something for you, and packing our supplies," said Grenda.

"Thanks Mabel, you're the best twin a satyr could ask for," said Dipper, grinning. He reached down and pulled her back to her feet, and then picked up the trail pack, settling it on his shoulders.

"No prob, Dipidee-doo-dah," Mabel replied, followed by a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Well, Grenda… I'm ready to go if you are," said Dipper to his guide.

"Oh, I'm ready," said Grenda. "I can't wait to use this thing," she said, jerking a thumb behind her to point at the maul strapped to her back.

A round of hugs followed. Pacifica lingered with her arms wrapped around Dipper for a bit longer than was comfortable. Mabel was the last to hug Dipper before he and Grenda departed.

"Please be careful Dipper," she said quietly. "If you get yourself killed, I swear I'm never speaking to you again."

"Don't worry sis," Dipper reassured her. "I fully intend on coming back alive, with Wendy."

"I'm holding you to that," she said, and poked him in the nose. "BWAP!"

Dipper smiled, and ruffled Mabel's hair, then turned and joined Grenda at the edge of the forest.

Together, they walked east, toward the entrance to the Green Realm.

 **/**

 **Thank you to everyone who has made it this far with me, and especially to those of you kind enough to review my work. I love hearing what you think!**

 **Shoutouts go to: FullMetalKhaos, Guest, NovelDrew, Limbotic Mistisos (I promised you awkwardness, did I not?), Fereality, Dip the Hashashin, and Guest05. Y'all are awesome. XD**

 **And I promise, in chapter eight, Dipper will finally get to the Green Realm. ^_^**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The sacred grove was a bit different than the surrounding coniferous forest. A ring of trees of different varieties (Dipper could identify ash, hazel, apple, elder and yew among them) surrounded a clearing, at the center of which stood a massive, imposing, ancient oak tree.

"Okay," said Dipper, craning his neck to look up at the giant oak, "Now that we're here, what do we do?"

"Um, I think we—"

Dipper interrupted Grenda. "You _think_? I thought you said you knew how to get into the Green Realm!"

"Give me a minute," said Grenda with a scowl. "The last time my dad took me to the Green Realm to visit my great grandad was when I was, like, four years old."

Sighing, Dipper approached the tree and laid a hand on it. The tree seemed to move, and Dipper jumped back in shock as a wide, dark hole opened in the trunk of the oak, stretching all the way to its base, almost like a cave.

"Oh right, that's what you do," said Grenda.

A familiar form walked out from the darkness of the hole, and Dipper's heart leapt in fear. The creature wore a hooded, dark green cloak, from under which emotionless, black eyes glinted. His skin, weathered bark. He held a heavy wooden staff, appearing to be made of living wood, with leaves sprouting from it.

"Who seeks entrance to the Green Realm, domain of His most excellent Majesty, The Green Man?" the Green Guardian uttered, his voice rough as sandpaper.

"Grenda, daughter of troll clan Oddlock, and my companion Di—"

"DINGUS MCFARGLE," interrupted Dipper loudly.

Grenda glanced sidelong at Dipper and raised an eyebrow. The Green Guardian, however, nodded, and stood aside, motioning for Grenda and Dipper to enter the hole in the tree.

The companions walked in inky darkness for several seconds. Suddenly, they felt a resistance to the air, like they were walking into a wall of spider webs. Dipper's skin felt like it was crawling. The resistance in the air ceased as suddenly as it occurred, and Dipper and Grenda broke through to bright, early morning sunlight, and a landscape entirely unlike the one they had just left.

They had entered the Green through a hole in an enormous oak tree on this side as well, but this oak stood alone, the sole tree in a field of colorful wildflowers. The high meadow sloped gently down to a dense, verdant forest. The sun glinted off the surface of a lake at the far side of the forest, and snowcapped mountains towered in the distance. The temperature felt like that of a perfect spring day, a light breeze gently whispering through the wildflowers. Dipper stared at the landscape before him in awe. Grenda snorted.

"Dingus McFargle? Really?" she said with a chuckle.

Dipper scowled. "I panicked. I had the sudden remembrance that when we were attacked by the Green Guard, Wendy was screaming my name. I don't want to alert them to my presence here. At least, not yet."

"Yeah, that makes sense, I guess," conceded Grenda. "Still… Dingus? Do I have to call you that now?"

"It was the first name that came to mind," said Dipper. "And no, _please_ don't call me Dingus."

"Okay, _Dingus_ ," said Grenda with a smirk.

"Shut up," said Dipper, halfheartedly. He gestured to their picturesque surroundings. "So, this is awesome. Where do we go from here?"

Grenda shrugged. "I dunno."

"Really? _Really?!_ " cried Dipper. "What kind of a crap guide are you, anyway?"

"The kind that at least got you here," growled Grenda. "I can turn around and go right back through this tree if you're just gonna be mean to me."

Dipper sighed and hung his head. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's extremely nice of you to help me. I just—" he paused and scratched the back of his neck.

"This is just all really overwhelming. In the span of two days I finally acquire the girlfriend of my dreams, then subsequently lose her. I find out that she's been kidnapped to another realm, and that, oh, by the way, she's not entirely _human_. I don't care about that—I just want her back. So in order to get into the Green Realm, this crazy satyr god dude turns me into some sort of crazy satyr god dude, junior. Then he says I'll find my guide to the Green Realm at the Mystery Shack, and peaces out without any further help or explanation."

"Huh," grunted Grenda. "I can see why you might be a bit testy."

"So, I know you don't _know_ , but where do you think he should start heading?" asked Dipper.

"Maybe through that forest down there, in the direction of the lake?" guessed Grenda. "Settlements tend to congregate around water sources. Maybe we can find someone to help us."

"I guess that's a better plan than just standing here," said Dipper. "I just wish we had a map, or something."

To Dipper's surprise, a roll of parchment suddenly appeared in his hand.

"Woah," said Grenda, "Did you just do magic?"

"I—I guess I did," said Dipper, blinking in surprise. "Maybe I just had to be in the Green Realm before my magic could manifest for the first time?" He excitedly unrolled the parchment.

On the parchment, there was a crude map, appearing to have been drawn in crayon. At the top two stick figures stood by a big tree, next to the statement "You are here." A dotted line trailed down through multicolored dots, into swirls of green, over next to a big swathe of blue, then on toward a bunch of M's that looked like they were supposed to be mountains. There was an X on the other side of the mountains, and next to it, the statement "You need to go here."

"You have got to be kidding me," mumbled Dipper.

Grenda peered over his shoulder. "Hey, you made a map," she said, slapping him jovially on the back. "Good job!"

"If this can even be called a map," said Dipper, as he folded it up and stuck it in the pocket of his borrowed jeans.

"You probably just need to practice," said Grenda. "Now, it looked like we should head in a general sort-of that way, over there direction," she continued, gesticulating toward the forest below them. "Let's get moving."

Dipper resettled the pack on his shoulders, and followed his guide, as they waded through the field of wildflowers, toward uncertainty.

/

The Mystery Shack was quiet. Mabel and Pacifica manned the gift ship for Soos while he and Melody went to the nursing home to visit Soos' Abuelita. A couple families stopped by the shack to see the oddities on their way back home from their Christmas travels, but for the majority of the morning, the Mystery Shack sat empty, save for its two bored, teenage occupants.

"Seriously though, Mabel… how did I never realize how _hot_ he is?" gushed Pacifica, who had been obsessing over Dipper nonstop since his departure.

"Okay, number one: ew. That's my brother," said Mabel, grimacing. "Number two: you never realized it because he wasn't. He was a tall, awkward thirteen-year-old with noodle arms. He only looks like that now because a _god_ took it upon himself to age Dipper and turn him into Goat Boy."

"But…abs…" Pacifica trailed off, her eyes glazing over.

"Ugh. I can't keep listening to this," said Mabel, walking out from behind the counter. "I'm going outside for some fresh air. C'mon Waddles."

Mabel sat on the porch of the Mystery Shack, hugging her knees, Waddles curled up in a ball beside her. The day was gray and chilly, but at least it wasn't raining or snowing. Mabel sighed, her breath coming out in a puff of steam. She decided she needed to pull her sweater over her head and enter sweater town.

Mabel always tried to keep a positive outlook on life, and be everyone's little ray of sunshine—but she was having a difficult time staying positive knowing her best friend, her brother, and his girlfriend were in another world, and she had no way of helping them, or even knowing if they were okay. Plus, stupid Puck had gone and aged her brother, and made him a satyr. She knew that Dipper would always be her bro-bro, but with his sudden transformation, she felt like she had lost a piece of herself. Mabel sniffed, and absently wiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks. Waddles stuck his head under her sweater and oinked at her softly.

"Thanks for emotionally supporting me Waddles," murmured Mabel. The pig backed out of the sweater, and leaned up against Mabel, his solidity and warmth comforting her.

"I like your pig!"

Mabel jumped, and popped her head out of sweater town, embarrassed that a guest had snuck up on her. Waddles perked up and trotted over to the stranger like he had known her his whole life, jumping up on her like a dog.

The sneaky visitor was a delicate-looking young woman, possibly in her late teens, with a long, untamed mass of black, intensely curly hair framing a soft, heart-shaped face. She wore faded, ripped jeans, and a yellow and black flannel shirt open over a black tank top. Her wide, blue eyes sparkled with delight as she scooped Waddles up and brought him to her face, giggling and letting him wuffle her with his snout.

"Peace to you, my friend," she said to Waddles as she sat him back on the ground, then turned and nodded to Mabel. "And to you as well."

"Uh, right back at you…" said Mabel awkwardly, standing up and wiping the residual tears from sweater town off of her cheeks. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come up."

"I apologize for startling you," the girl said. "I am used to walking quietly in the woods, so as not to disturb the animals. My name is Arden. What is your name, and that of your handsome friend here?" Arden asked, gesturing to Waddles.

"I'm Mabel Pines. This is Waddles, my porcine emotional support system."

"I am not sure what… that means… But his clothing is quite spectacular," said Arden, gazing at Waddles' vest. "I have never before seen so many jewels on one garment."

Mabel giggled. "It's just bedazzled. Not that he doesn't deserve real jewels. I just don't have that kind of money."

Arden cocked an eyebrow. "What is 'bedazzled?'"

"You're not from around here, are you?" asked Mabel. "And by here, I mean the United States."

Arden pouted. "I was hoping to fit in. I am doing a foreign exchange this semester at the local secondary school. How could you tell?"

"Well, aside from not having ever heard of bedazzling, you don't talk like you're from here," said Mabel.

"I thought I was doing good at my English," said Arden with a sigh.

"Oh, you are," said Mabel quickly, realizing she had made the older girl feel bad. "If you have a foreign accent, I can't tell. It's just, your syntax is, I don't know, differenty. Kind of more formal sounding than I'm used to hearing."

"Oh," said Arden, perking up. "That is not so bad, then. So do you live here, at this Mystery Shack? I saw it when I first came to town and was very interested in what mysteries are being displayed."

"I don't live here now," said Mabel. "I did over the summer, though. The 'mysteries' here are nothing compared the mysteries of the town of Gravity Falls itself." She grinned. "Come on in and I'll tell you all about my summer here."

Mabel and Waddles led Arden into the Mystery Shack. Mabel was so happy to have a new friend with whom to share her summer adventures that she almost forgot to be worried about Dipper, Grenda, and Wendy. Almost.

/

"Finally," panted Dipper, dropping his pack and collapsing in the shade of a tree at the edge of the wood. "That field of flowers was… a lot bigger than it looked." He glanced at the tiny speck of an oak tree in the distance.

"Lightweight," muttered Grenda.

"Hey!" said Dipper, offended. "Goat legs! Just got them _yesterday_ , okay?"

"Well, if you'd take off those stupid, baggy pants, I bet you wouldn't constantly be tripping and slowing us up," said Grenda, frowning.

"For the love of—not you too!" cried Dipper. "Pacifica tried like three or four times to get me out of my pants last night!"

"What?! No! Ew! Don't flatter yourself," said Grenda with a laugh. "I just—no. Ew."

Dipper felt his whole face turn red.

"She's right, you know!" called a melodic, male voice from somewhere in the treetops.

Startled, Dipper tried to jump to his hooves, but he tripped and stepped on the hem of his baggy jeans, not only falling down, but pantsing himself in the process.

"Aaaand case in point," said the voice, breaking into a fit of giggles.

"Who's there?!" cried Grenda, quickly unstrapping her maul, and taking a fighting stance, her eyes scanning the trees.

"Woah, calm down there, She-Hulk," said the voice. "I couldn't hurt you even if I wanted to."

"Who are you?" asked Dipper, getting back to his feet and readjusting his jeans. " _Where_ are you?"

"I'm up here," said the voice. Dipper and Grenda glanced up, and saw a small metal cage hanging from the uppermost branches of the tree directly next to Dipper's shade tree. Inside stood a tiny, gnome-size man with wild, ginger hair, and a magnificent matching beard. He was dressed in an old-fashioned red suit that had clearly seen better days. His green eyes were bloodshot, and his nose was bulbous and red. He stuck a hand through the bars of the cage and waved at them.

"Hello!" said the miniature man cheerfully. "Would you be so kind as to help a fellow out and spring me from my confinement?"

Dipper looked at Grenda. "What is he? Is he safe?" Ever the useful guide, Grenda once again shrugged.

"Uh, I'm right here!" cried the man. Dipper heard him mutter under his breath, "Rude."

"Fine," said Dipper, crossing his arms. "What, and who, are you…sir?"

"I suppose the best way to explain it is… you know what a leprechaun is, right?" he asked, his face pressed up against the bars of his prison.

Dipper nodded.

"Well, I'm one of the leprechaun's lesser known extended family," said the man. "We're called clurichaun. I'd say we're kind of like… the annoying drunken cousin who always starts fights at family gatherings."

"Oh, that sounds delightful," said Dipper sarcastically.

"Sounds like my cousin Floyd," commented Grenda.

"Hey, you asked. I'm just being honest," said the man. "The name's Beagán Aisteach. It's a pleasure to meet you. And you are?"

"I'm Dipper, and this is Grenda."

"Beacon Ash-ticks?" said Grenda, furrowing her brow. "What kind of name is that?"

"Well, I don't know; what kind of name is _Grenda_? Besides, that's not my name. It is Beagán Aisteach," he said, slowing down the pronunciation of his name.

"Bacon Ostrich?"

The small man facepalmed. "Yes. Fine. Sure. My name is Bacon Ostrich. Can you please help me out, now?"

Laughing, Dipper said "Okay, Bacon. First, you tell me what you did to get locked in that cage, and then I'll consider helping you."

Bacon heaved a dramatic sigh. "Let's just say that gods of wine and plenty don't appreciate it when someone breaks in to their wine cellar, and drinks all their best vintages until passing out."

"I can see where they might find that irritating," remarked Dipper. "I guess we can try and get you out. What do you propose we do?"

"Uh, you're a satyr," said Bacon.

"And you're a tiny, alcoholic man," said Dipper. "If we're just going to play 'state the obvious.'"

"No," said Bacon, impatiently. "I mean, use your satyr magic to pop the lock. I can climb down once you do that."

"Yeah, I have no idea how to do that," said Dipper honestly.

"I—what—you—" sputtered Bacon.

"He can make maps!" Grenda offered.

"How did you make the map?" asked Bacon, eagerly.

"I just sort of wished I had a map," said Dipper. "And then I was holding one. I have no idea how I did it. I didn't even mean to. It's not even a very good map," he added.

"Just my luck," muttered Bacon. "Of all the satyrs to run into, I get the one who is completely clueless."

"Okay," said Dipper, holding up his hands. "In my defense, I was only transformed into a satyr yesterday. And the god who transformed me wasn't very forthcoming with the details."

"Oh, so you're a newbie," remarked the clurichaun. "Which god transformed you, then?"

"Puck," said Dipper.

"That figures," said Bacon, swearing softly under his breath. "That arse probably thinks that was _hilarious_ , sending you off as a satyr with no clue as to how to actually _be_ a satyr. The pants thing, for instance… he should have told you that satyrs don't wear pants. It's just not a 'thing.' Some wear loincloths, but none wear pants. You stick out like a sore thumb, and honestly, you just look plain stupid."

"Well, thanks for the fashion advice," said Dipper. "I guess we'll be going now. Come on, Grenda." The pair started to walk deeper into the woods.

"Wait!" cried Bacon. "Please get me out of here; I'm sorry I said your pants were stupid!"

"Well I'm clearly useless," said Dipper testily. "I don't know how to use my magic. How are we supposed to get you out of there?"

"Do you have anything in that huge pack of yours that you could toss up here for me to pick the lock, maybe?" asked Bacon.

Dipper looked at Grenda. "Do I?"

"Honestly, I have no clue," said Grenda. "Mabel did all the packing so I could get some sleep before our journey."

"Crap, you let Mabel do all the packing?" groaned Dipper. "That means it's probably filled with fifty pounds of 'emergency glitter.'"

"In…in what type of emergency would one require fifty pounds of _glitter_?" asked Bacon.

"Dipper," said Grenda. "You're not being fair. Your sister was scared to death for you. She asked me what would be important to pack, and took it really seriously." She paused. "There's probably only a _little_ emergency glitter."

"Chop, chop," called Bacon from above. "Find me something to pick the lock—I'm practically dying of thirst up here!"

Dipper swung the pack off his shoulders, sitting it gently on the ground. He moved slowly and deliberately, just to spite the demanding little clurichaun whose cage was swaying in the breeze above him.

At the very top of the pack was small mound of blue and white knitted fabric, with a note attached. Dipper picked it up and read it.

"Hey Dipper, I made this for you so you have something to cover your bits and pieces once you finally realize how ridiculous you look in Soos' old jeans. Please stay safe, Bro-bro! Love, Mabel"

Dipper laughed, and picked up his gift from Mabel. It was a white loincloth, bordered in royal blue, with a blue pine tree in the center.

"Oooo, fancy!" cried Bacon. "Look, now you can give up those stupid pants and look like a real satyr!"

"Oh, fine," mumbled Dipper. "But only because I'm tired of hearing about it. Turn around, Grenda." He took off the jeans, and secured the loincloth.

"Well, isn't that better now?" asked Bacon, his tone patronizing.

"Actually, the breeze is kind of nice down there," said Dipper.

Grenda grunted. "Gross."

Dipper spent twenty minutes digging through the contents of the pack, looking for something that could be used as a lockpick. Mabel had crammed as many supplies in as she was able. There was, indeed, even a small vial labelled "emergency glitter."

Grenda was bored, and Dipper was getting frustrated. Between the bottomlessness of the pack, and Bacon's constant griping about being thirsty, he quickly lost his patience.

 _I wish I could just freaking magic the stupid lock open_ , he thought.

CLICK.

 _Seriously?_ Dipper turned away from the pack and looked up. The cage door had swung wide open. The clurichaun stood back from it, his hands up, and his mouth agape.

"I didn't touch it," said Bacon. "It must have been your satyr magic! How'd you do it?" he asked as he nimbly jumped from the cage to the tree trunk, and backed down it with ease.

"Honestly," said Dipper, "I think frustration or desperation may play a big role. I was getting really tired of trying to find you a lockpick."

"So to get you to do magic, we have to be really annoying and do something you would beg us to stop?" asked Grenda.

"I'm good at annoying," said Bacon with a grin. He began rummaging through the pile of displaced contents from the pack. "I know I saw you unpack a canteen… aha!" He held up the red canteen in victory.

"Bacon, wait—that's probably—"cried Dipper, but he was too late. Bacon had the cap off and was gulping the contents. Suddenly he stopped drinking, and spat a mouthful of pink, glittery liquid onto the ground.

"Mabel juice," said Dipper, finishing his sentence.

" _What_ ," Bacon spluttered, " _in the name of all that is holy, did I just drink?!_ "

"My sister makes this concoction…" began Dipper.

"I don't care," said Bacon. "I just want to know if it's lethal, and if there is an antidote."

"I've tried it before and didn't die," offered Grenda. "Granted, I went partially blind in one eye for like an hour, but then, I drank a whole glass. And Mabel drinks it all the time. You'll be fine."

"Is your sister a witch?" Bacon asked Dipper. "Because that brew is positively evil. I saw my life flash before my eyes…"

"Not a witch," said Dipper. "Just very…unique."

"Ugh, I need to get that taste out of my mouth," said Bacon, grimacing and licking the air. "Pack your stuff back up quickly. I know of an inn not too far from here. I need some whiskey. I think that potion is burning a hole in my tongue."

/

After unceremoniously shoving their supplies back into the pack, the trio hiked for about an hour through the dense forest.

"Okay, I admit it," Dipper said at one point. "You were right. It is much easier to move around without pants on."

Grenda chuckled. "Told you."

Finally the trees began to thin out, and the group came upon a dusty, dirt road. Directly across the road from them stood a sturdy cabin, with smoke puffing merrily from its chimney.

"Ah, the Drunken Ogre," said Bacon, fondly. "My home away from home."

He led Dipper and Grenda inside, which was dimly lit by only a hearth fire and the weak sunlight filtering through windows in desperate need of a wash. The room, which had been filled with chatter only moments before, fell eerily silent.

A lone ogre stepped out of the shadows.

"Well, well, well. Beagán Aisteach. I thought I told you never to show your filthy face around here again."

"Oh, ah, look Nigel," Bacon sputtered. "I never got the chance to explain—" He stopped talking to dodge a flying beer stein.

Dipper started to slowly back toward the door, taking his cue from Bacon, who was doing the same. Grenda, however, was ginning maniacally, and unstrapping the maul from her back. A wooden tankard came flying at them. That was all it took.

"BAR FIGHT!" cried Grenda, running at the patron who had thrown the tankard. A deafening roar broke out, and suddenly a mass of magical and mythical creatures, including ogres, trolls and even a centaur surged forward, and Dipper was pulled into the fray.

As he saw the gigantic, mottled, green ogre fist come flying at his face, all he could think was "Aw crap, this is really gonna suck."

/

 **Once again, thank you to every single one of you who has read my work, followed it, favorited it, or reviewed it. It is awesome to know that people are actually reading and liking my story. It definitely gives me incentive to keep writing. Shoutouts now for all my lovely reviewers from last chapter: fereality, NovelDrew, Dip the Hashashin, LimboticMistisos, dikr, Really Bored Guy, and 2 Guests. Let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Wendy walked out of the forest and smiled at Dipper, her green eyes sparkling.

"Dude, you kept me waiting, for, like, ever!" she said, as she broke into a run and threw herself into his arms, knocking him backward. They fell down into a patch of wildflowers, and Dipper rolled over so that he was on top of her, staring into her eyes.

"Terribly sorry to have kept you waiting," he said, grinning. "How can I ever make it up to you?"

"Oh, I'll think of something," purred Wendy, smiling wickedly. She pulled him down against her, and whispered hotly into his ear. "Actually, I can think of _a lot_ of things." She began kissing his throat, and running her fingers through his hair. Dipper groaned.

"Dipper," she said loudly into his ear, "wake up."

"What?" asked Dipper, confused.

"WAKE UP!"

/

Dipper's eyes snapped open, and he shot up, smacking his head into something solid.

"OW, YOU STABBED ME WITH YOUR HORN, YOU JERK!" shouted Grenda, who had been standing over Dipper, shaking him.

"Sorry," muttered Dipper, as he touched his throbbing face gingerly. "Gods, what happened?" he winced.

"You have a glass jaw," grunted Grenda. "You got knocked out like two seconds into the fight."

"Okay," said Dipper, squinting at Grenda, willing his eyes to focus, "to be fair… I'm pretty sure it was an ogre that dropped me."

Grenda smirked. "Well, after he dropped you, I dropped him. And like four other beast-people." She paused. "It's been a good day."

Dipper's eyes finally focused, and he saw the Grenda was sporting two black eyes and a busted lip, as well as a proud grin. He glanced around, and was surprised to see they were back in the forest. Twilight was falling, and there was a small fire crackling a few feet away. From the other side of the fire, two red eyes glinted at Dipper.

"Gah!" screeched Dipper, pointing, as he struggled to his hooves. "Grenda, something's over there!"

"Easy, goat-man," grumbled a low voice. The owner of the red eyes walked forward so the rest of him was visible in the firelight—a troll. He stood over six feet tall, with wrinkly greenish-gray flesh bulging over what may have been muscle. Coarse, reddish hair sprouted from his head, brows, elbows, and legs in tufts. Large, tusk-like teeth protruded from his bottom jaw, giving him an underbite that would have been comical if it were not so terrifying. He wore a simple loincloth, and nothing else.

Grenda laughed. "That's just Took. He won't hurt you."

"He-I…what?" stammered Dipper, stupidly.

The creature strode forward and extended a viciously clawed right hand, which Dipper hesitantly shook.

"Took Oddlock," he grunted. Dipper raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly at Grenda.

"Took is my second…or third cousin…" Grenda trailed off. "Well, he's related to me somehow. He recognized our family crest on the maul. He was able to break up the bar fight and helped us get out of there. He carried you here."

The troll uttered a noise that Dipper was barely able to recognize as a chuckle. "You not fights good, goat-man."

"You not grammars good," muttered Dipper under his breath. More loudly, he asked "So where's Bacon, then? I don't see him anywhere."

Took scoffed. "Alcohol midget hides under bar, and runs off with cask of whiskey when fight stops. He is bad trouble companion for you."

"Seriously?" sighed Dipper. He sank back down, resting his back against a tree trunk. "I freed him from a cage he was imprisoned in for stealing alcohol, only for him to steal _more_ alcohol and abandon us when the first opportunity arose?"

"Pretty much, yeah," confirmed Grenda, settling herself on a fallen log near the fire.

"Great," Dipper said sarcastically. His stomach rumbled, and he groaned. "And of course, we didn't even get anything to eat at the inn."

"I help there," said Took, smiling happily. He sat down next to Grenda, and from a pouch on his loincloth he produced a small crusty loaf of brown bread, a wedge of some kind of white cheese, and a small, wickedly sharp looking knife.

"Oh, that's okay, Took," said Grenda, eyeing the food warily. "I think Mabel put plenty of food in Dipper's pack."

"No, no, I insisting!" said Took, as he began to slice the bread and cheese. "You better to save those if you be needing them later." He handed a couple slices of bread and cheese each to Dipper and Grenda, saving a small portion for himself.

"Th-thanks, Took," said Dipper. He sniffed the food, and finding no issue with it, shrugged and began eating. The bread tasted like pumpernickel, while the cheese was firm and tangy.

The small group ate in silence, until Took finally stood up and stretched, saying "You both sleeps now, I do guarding. It bad in the night forest to not be having a guard."

Although he had been unconscious for the better part of the afternoon and evening, Dipper realized he was exhausted. He and Grenda searched their supplies and found a couple of soft, pink and purple blankets that Mabel had packed for them. They settled themselves on either side of the fire, and in less than a minute, Grenda's snoring was echoing through the clearing. Dipper closed his eyes, and fell into a fitful and restless sleep, visions of Wendy haunting him.

/

Arden was the best audience Mabel could wish for. She sat on the Mystery Shack gift shop counter, Waddles snuggled in her lap, and paid rapt attention, as Mabel animatedly told the tale of her strange summer with her brother and Grunkles in Gravity Falls. Pacifica was wary of the newcomer, but occasionally offered her own point of view of how things went down, especially if the story included her and Dipper.

"And that's all nothing, compared to Weirdmagedon!" said Mabel, preparing to launch into the tale of Bill Cipher ripping a hole in reality. Before she could begin, however, the door swung open, and Soos and Melody walked in.

"Hey hambones—" Soos cut himself off when he saw Arden sitting on the counter. "…And customer?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Oh, you must be the Soos of whom Mabel speaks so highly," said Arden cheerfully, hopping off the counter. "I am new in town. My name is Arden."

"Oh, hey dude. Yeah, I'm the Soos. This is my girlfriend, Melody. We're running this place while the Stans are sailing around the world."

Arden wrinkled her brow. "The Stans?"

"Oh, he means my Grunkles. Stanford and Stanley Pines," supplied Mabel.

"Oh, I see," said Arden. She glanced out the window, and noticed that the sun was getting low in the sky. "I think I must leave now, my friends. It is getting late."

Pacifica sighed. "I need to head home, too. Grenda's house is on my way, Mabel, if you want to walk with me."

"Thanks for the offer, Paz, but I think since Grenda isn't there, it would be kind of awkward." She looked at Soos. "Is it okay if I just stay here until Dipper, Grenda, and Wendy get back? Pleeeease?"

"I don't have a problem with it, girl-dude," said Soos. "Melody, what do you think?"

"I think that would be just fine," she said with a grin.

"Yes! Well, I guess I'll see you guys later," she addressed Arden and Pacifica. "You _will_ come by again and visit, won't you Arden?"

"Of course! This afternoon has been quite pleasant. I will surely be by again soon," she said, making her way to the door. Pacifica followed closely behind her. The two walked out into the chill evening, their shoes crunching on the gravel path.

Pacifica had expected to walk back into town with Arden, and find out which family was hosting her. She was surprised, then, when Arden said a quick "Bye-bye!" and veered away from her, and swiftly made her way into the woods—in the opposite direction of town, where there was a distinct lack of civilization.

"Who _are_ you?" she muttered, as she pulled her coat tightly around herself and trudged home. She quickly forgot the mystery of Arden, however, as her mind wandered to the physique of her new favorite satyr.

/

In the cold, gray light just before daybreak, Dipper was unceremoniously awoken from a restless sleep, by Took jabbing him in the chest with a long stick.

"You wakes up now, Goat-Man," grunted the troll. "Green Palace is far for you still, and you is needing all the day you can gets for travelling by."

Dipper yawned and sat up. "Thanks, Took."

Grenda was already up and ready to go, her maul strapped to her back.

"Move it Dingus," shouted Grenda brightly, "Daylight's a wastin'!"

"What daylight?" Dipper muttered, glancing through the trees at the first orange hints of dawn coloring the sky. He sighed and folded up his blanket, placing it next to Grenda's in the pack. Rummaging through the supplies, he found a couple granola bars. "Want breakfast?" he asked Grenda. She grunted and nodded her head in the affirmative, so he tossed her one.

"So Took, will you be joining us on the way to the palace?" asked Dipper. "We could really use someone who knows how to fight on our side."

"Hey, speak for yourself!" said Grenda defensively. Her black eyes were swollen kaleidoscopes of mottled purple, blue, green and brown, and she wore them like badges of honor.

"Sorry to disappoints you, but I must be goings in the opposite directions today," said Took, his gravelly voice apologetic. "My mate will be wonderings why I am not home from the Drunken Ogres yet." He sighed. "She will probably throws heavy things at my head for beings gone so longs."

"Oh-uh… thanks for risking bodily harm to help us out for this long, then… I guess," said Dipper awkwardly.

"It not beings a problems for me," said the troll, waving off Dipper's gratitude. "Always the right things to be helpings family, anyway," he finished, flashing a snaggle-toothed grin at his second (or third) cousin, Grenda.

Grenda grinned back at him. "Give Clan Oddlock my love."

"I was plannings on it," said Took. "I will be leavings you now. Travels safe, and avoids gettings in any more bar fights." He nodded briefly at Dipper and Grenda, and made his way back into the woods, quickly disappearing amongst the trees.

"Well," said Grenda after a moment, "Where do we go now?"

Dipper consulted his crudely drawn map. The "you are here" stick figures had migrated over into the middle of the swathe of green swirls. An arrow pointed back to the main dotted line they were supposed to be following.

"Grenda, was there a road nearby?" asked Dipper.

"Yeah, we just came off the main road to make camp," she supplied.

"Good. I think we're supposed to get back on the road, then," said Dipper, happy to have some sort of plan. "Lead the way."

/

Dipper and Grenda had been travelling on the dirt road through the forest for about an hour, when they began to hear a strange, high-pitched screech.

"What _is_ that?" asked Grenda grumpily, rubbing her ears.

"I have no idea," said Dipper, glancing around. "I think it might be coming from behind us?"

A few more minutes passed, the noise getting louder, and more defined.

"Is… is it someone _screaming_?" asked Dipper, worry creeping into his voice.

"Maybe we should get off the road," suggested Grenda. "It sounds like it's getting closer."

"Agreed," said Dipper.

The pair found cover in the trees, so that they could see the road, hopefully without being able to be seen themselves. After a few moments, a strange sight came into view.

Bacon Ostrich was screeching in glee, his frazzled red beard flapping in the wind, as he held onto the back of an enormous, shaggy, black dog, which was galloping full-tilt down the road.

"What," was all Dipper could muster.

"Hey, it's just Bacon!" cried Grenda, the relief evident in her voice. "I'm gonna say hi!" She crashed through the undergrowth, back onto the road. Dipper sighed, and followed in her wake.

"BACON! IT'S GRENDA AND DIPPER!" she cried, her hands cupped around her mouth. Dipper lifted his hand and waved weakly. He wasn't sure he wanted to see Bacon again after he had abandoned them in a multi-magical-species bar fight.

The dog slowed to a trot, finally halting a few feet in front of them. Its tongue lolled out of its mouth, its drooping jowls dripping foamy drool onto the dusty road. It was, surprisingly, not panting like it should be after running full speed like it had been.

"Heeeeeey, it's my frens!" slurred Bacon, as he slid off the back of the dog and wobbled toward Dipper and Grenda.

"Are-are you drunk?!" asked Dipper.

Grenda ignored this interaction completely, as she ran up to the dog and threw her arms around its neck happily, exclaiming "Doggie!" The dog didn't move. It did, however, give Grenda the side-eye.

"Nooooo, no, no, no!" cried Bacon, in response to Dipper's query. "Not at allll." He belched. "M'kay, mebbe a lil. Only kind-of." He swayed on his feet. Dipper opened his mouth to speak, but Bacon cut him off. "Oh, shuddup then, ya smarmy goat-god bastard. Can't even magic yourself outta a sim-simple far bight," Bacon paused, and mouthed the words he had just said. "Uh, bar fight. A simple bar fight."

Dipper laughed. "Are you seriously suggesting that I'm useless in a fight, when you literally went and _hid under the bar_ , then stolewhiskey and ran off, leaving the two of us, who are obviously _new_ to the Green Realm, to fend for ourselves?"

"Erm…no?" answered Bacon. "Wait, wha was the question?"

"You both suck in a fight," stated Grenda, as she stroked the enormous dog's head. The dog sneezed.

"You keep your nose outta this, then, Fenris," muttered Bacon. The dog sneezed again.

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Fenris?"

"He's a good –hic—god." Bacon paused again. "Dog. Good. Dog. Borrowed him from a fren especial so's I could catch you up."

"If I'm so useless, why did you want to 'catch us up'?" asked Dipper, annoyed at the tiny drunken man.

"Well, you helped me when I neededed it, din't you? I'm returning the favor. You know, 'eye for an eye' and all that…" the clurichaun trailed off.

"Uh, I don't think that phrase means what you think it means," interjected Grenda. The dog softly wuffed in agreement.

"Okay, fine," said Dipper, crossing his arms. "You want to help. How do you propose to do that? You're like two feet tall, and drunk off your ass."

"I'm just going to ignore that hurtful jab about my height and my state of sobra-sobert-sobriarty." Bacon closed his eyes and said slowly "So-bri-ety. I was thinkin' I might try helpin' you work out your magic muscles, seein' as you have no idea what you're doin'. Plus, Fenris here can help guard us from nasty beasties."

"C'mon Dipper, let him come with us," pleaded Grenda. "He's got a doggie now!"

Fenris trotted over to Dipper, cocked his head to the side, and held out a paw. Dipper took the paw and shook it.

"Fine. If you think you can help me develop my magic, and if Fenris can help us with the fighting side of things (should there be any)… I guess I'm okay with you joining us again," Dipper said, resigned. Fenris' tail thumped happily against the hard-packed road, stirring up dust.

"That's me boy!" said Bacon happily. "I promise, you'll only barely regret this!"

/

Deep in the shady court of the Green Palace, a frantic figure paced around a lone birch tree, shouting and gesticulating wildly. Foliage and vines covered his body, and surrounded his face. Some of his vines even reared up in the air from time to time, acting as extra arms for particularly strong gestures.

"Completely _willful._ Absolutely _no_ respect for authority! Unacceptable. Unacceptable! She is clearly _your_ daughter, don't know why I expected her to be any different. Won't eat. Can't let her out to socialize with the court… heinous, _heinous_ behavior… tries to run away any chance she gets. _Why doesn't she understand?!_ Lumberjack was a _horrible_ influence, obviously, no doubt about that. And who in all the realms is this _Dipper_ she keeps yelling and crying about?

All of this, with your horrid daughter—and now my brother missing _again_. I am a god—A GOD! How is it that these paltry issues are causing me so much grief? Clearly I am not being harsh enough. She has had it easy. If she will not obey and comply, she may well end up in the same condition as _you_."

As the Green Man stormed from the courtyard, the leaves of the birch tree shook, although there was not even a hint of a breeze in the air.

/

 **Well, another chapter down. Sorry for the delay with getting this update out—I haven't been well lately, and lots of other life has been happening. I hope this chapter was worth the wait.**

 **Once again, thank you so, so much to everyone who reads and reviews my work! Your comments are incredibly important to me, and I love getting feedback on my writing.**

 **Shoutouts to Guest, fereality, Dip the Hashashin, Really Bored Guy, scroghmc, JoJoGiron26, and Limbotic Mistisos—thanks for all the awesome feedback!**

 **Special shoutout to Fullmetalkhaos, who rode my ass to get this chapter written, and who helps me with ideas when I'm brain dead. He has a really good story up, called Gravity Falls: Written in the Stars, that you should totally check out if you haven't already. XD**

 **Thanks, my lovelies! Looking forward to seeing what everyone thinks of this chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Wendy Corduroy was not your average princess in the tower. Upon her arrival to The Green Court, when told the truth of her mother's identity, Wendy asked to be taken to see her. Denied access, she spat at her grandfather's feet, earning her a direct trip to her chambers, or "deluxe dungeon," as she referred to it. As the granddaughter of the Green Man, she was technically royalty, but she scoffed at the notion. She certainly didn't want to be associated with someone who would steal his own daughter away from her husband and children.

"Hey, Bork," she called, summoning the young brownie who had been assigned as her personal servant, "How's it coming on getting me a blade?"

"He says 'no,' mistress," simpered the brownie, his voice child-like, as he trotted to her from her antechamber where he had been sweeping fallen leaves into a pile.

"Ugh, you asked him?!" cried Wendy, smacking her forehead. "You weren't supposed to _ask_ him, Bork! You're such an idiot."

"I apologize for my ignorance, mistress," said Bork, his lower lip quivering. "This is my first assignment out of the kitchens. I was trying to make sure I did everything right."

Wendy sighed. "Don't cry, Bork, damn. I didn't mean it." She rubbed her eyes. "I'm just so frustrated right now. And I keep telling you, you don't have to call me mistress, okay? It's just Wendy."

"Miss—Wendy," said Bork, his gleaming, cocoa-colored eyes wide, "I want to do as you ask, but the Green Man," as he said this, he glanced around the room, and his voice became a whisper, "he is a harsh master. I do not want to provoke his wrath."

Wendy crouched down to Bork's level. "What kind of wrath are we talking about?" she asked quietly. "Like, a slap on the wrist, no dessert for a week, type of wrath? Or like…evil magic dungeon type of wrath?"

"The second type," said Bork, looking down at his hands.

Wendy put a hand on his shoulder. "Has he hurt you, dude? Cause if he has—"

"No, no, Mi—Wendy," assured Bork. "Not me. But many of the palace servants are brownies… being as small as we are, we see things that are often hidden from others. For instance, that birch tree in the inner courtyard—"

There was a soft knock at Wendy's outer chamber door, and Bork's mouth snapped shut, as he rushed to open it.

"Nah, man, let me get it," said Wendy, her long strides quickly carrying her past Bork on his tiny legs. "I'm not used to having someone doing everything for me."

Wendy pulled the heavy door open, and was met with a visibly nervous child-dryad. Her periwinkle eyes were wide, cherry blossoms tangled in her platinum curls.

"Mistress Wyn Dahlia," the girl said, her hands clasped nervously in front of her. "H-he requires your presence at His court at the d-dinner hour tonight… w-wearing appropriate d-dress, and b-behaving in a m-manner appropriate to your rank." The child quickly looked down, bright red spots appearing on her pale cheeks.

"Uh, are you afraid of me?" Wendy asked. "Cause I'm not gonna hurt you, kid."

The girl backed up slightly, shaking her head. Then she turned on her heel, and ran down the corridor, cherry blossom petals trailing in her wake.

Wendy glanced to her left, at the member of the Green Guard posted by her door. "Do _you_ know what that was about?"

The Green Guardsman continued to stand at attention, and said nothing.

"Ooookay then," said Wendy, shutting the door firmly. "Bork, do you have any idea why that little girl was absolutely terrified of me?"

The brownie attempted a smile. "You did cause quite a scene at court when the Green Guard first brought you in," he said. "No one ever stands up to the Him in that manner. Not since—well let's just say it's been years, and it ended badly for the one who dared disobey Him. I suppose there are some that are worried that if they get too friendly with you, He will take your behavior out on them."

Wendy sniffed derisively. "If he does that, he's a bully and a coward."

Bork wrung his hands anxiously. "Please, at dinner, do not say things like that. He is very powerful, and is not used to being disobeyed."

"Well," said Wendy with a chuckle, "he had better get used to it. Because I'm not very good at obeying. I'm a flipping Corduroy."

/

The seasons in the Green Realm most certainly did not align with the seasons in Gravity Falls. Where it had been dreary, drippy, and miserably cold in Oregon, it was abundantly sunny and warm in the Green. A soft breeze rustled the leaves, as the motley group of travelers made their way in the direction of the Green Palace. Dipper and Grenda walked at a comfortable pace, while Bacon, whose short legs precluded him from keeping up with the others, rode on the back of Fenris.

"Really, dog," complained the clurichaun grumpily. " _Must_ ye stop and piss on every tree we pass? Where does all the piss come from anyhow?"

Fenris grumbled and shook his whole body, causing Bacon to have to hold on to his fur to avoid being flung off into the verdant canopy.

"Cripes, Fenris! Fine, whiz wherever ye like," pouted Bacon.

Fenris barked happily.

"So, Bacon," said Dipper casually. "When were you going to try and teach me how to use my magic?"

"I volunteer to be sawn in half!" shouted Grenda.

"Sorry sweetcheeks, but that'd be right messy. It's not that kind of magic," said Bacon. "That sawing in half nonsense is an illusion." He paused thoughtfully. "Well, actually, I guess… if Dipper here has the same kind of magic as that arse of a trickster god, he should be able to do glamours, which are essentially illusions. Sort of." Bacon belched, and scratched his stomach. "It's complicated."

"Well, uncomplicate it for me," said Dipper, crossing his arms, as they continued to walk.

"I'll do me best, Goat Boy," Bacon replied. "But keep in mind—while I have some minor magic of me own, I don't have full-blown god magic. This might be a lot of trial and error. Quite a bit of error, actually."

Dipper sighed. "Oh, good."

Bacon cleared his throat, and sat a little straighter on Fenris' back, swaying slightly with the dog's gait. "Right. Lesson One: Creating a physical item out of, essentially, nothing. Now, this isn't one I can do—if I could I wouldn't have to resort to stealing bad whiskey from ogres. This is, as far as I'm aware, just something gods are capable of. I'm not sure I'd call ye a _god_ , but apparently Puck gave ye more than normal satyr magic, as ye've already seen this ability manifest—that map of yours is proof."

Grenda raised her hand. "So, um, do we know why Dipper's map looks like it was drawn by a second grader?"

"Yeah," agreed Dipper. "I mean, it's pointed us in seemingly the right direction so far, but for actual information about where we are or where we're going, it's useless."

"I'm not one-hundred percent certain," said Bacon, stroking his beard, "but I think it has to do with your familiarity with the object being conjured. Also, practice."

"So, you're saying I should just _really_ focus on something I'm familiar with to make it appear?" asked Dipper, skeptically. "Because I tried that already. With pants. I was unsuccessful."

"Look, friend, ye said ye were only turned satyr-god-thingy a couple days ago," replied Bacon. "Maybe your magic's just takin' its sweet time settling in. Or maybe ye had to be in the Otherworld for it to become functional. Who knows? God magic—and trickster magic, in particular—is known to be fickle."

"Wait, Otherworld?" Dipper frowned, his brow wrinkled in confusion. "We're in the Green Realm."

"Och, I forgot ye're not all read up on mythologies and gods and fae and whatnot," sighed Bacon. "The Green Realm is part of the Otherworld. There's lots of realms. The Realm of the Dead is another." He paused. "I don't recommend visiting that one. Ugh. That was a bad day."

"Okay," said Grenda. "I think there's a story there we need to hear."

"Sweetie, I'm going to need a hell of a lot of whiskey before I can relive _that_ ," said Bacon with a shudder. He suddenly turned to Dipper. "Say, ye don't happen to be a hobbyist whiskey aficionado, do ye? I'd love ye to conjure me some of that sweet, sweet nectar."

"Dude, until two days ago, I was thirteen years old," laughed Dipper.

"So, that's a 'no,' then?" Bacon said sadly, as Dipper nodded his head. "Well, what is somethin' ye think ye're sufficiently familiar with so as to be able to try conjuring it?"

"Erm… Journal Three?" Dipper supplied. "It's a book one of my great uncles wrote that—"

"Don't tell me about it, kid," interrupted Bacon. " _Show_ it to me."

Dipper closed his eyes, which was not the best idea, seeing as he immediately walked into Grenda. "Maybe we could stop to rest for a bit, so I can concentrate better?" suggested Dipper hopefully.

"If ye want to, sure," said Bacon, shrugging. "I'm in no hurry. I'm just along for the ride. Ye never even told me where ye're headed that's so important."

"We're going to the Green Palace, to save Dipper's girlfriend, (who is also apparently a dryad), from the Green Man!" explained Grenda cheerfully.

Fenris paused in his tracks, and whimpered.

"Wait, what?" asked Bacon, dumbfounded. "Ye're going up against the bloody Green Man himself? Are ye daft, boy? How're ye planning on 'saving' her from him, then?"

"Uh, well," said Dipper, nervously licking his lips, "I thought maybe if I asked nicely—"

"Or violence!" shouted Grenda.

Fenris wuffed softly.

"I agree, Fenris, old boy. They're insane, the both of 'em," said Bacon, shaking his head.

"Look, I haven't really planned that far, okay?" said Dipper, defensively. "This all happened kind of suddenly. I just want Wendy back." He angrily wiped at the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "Yeah, I'm in over my head. Yeah, I have absolutely _no_ idea what I'm doing. All I know is that the girl I love was kidnapped and is being held against her will—and I'm going to do everything in my power to save her."

Bacon held his hand over his heart. "Fenris, did ye hear that? That there's true love."

Fenris yipped, his tail wagging.

"Dipper, Grenda… ye're both absolutely bonkers." Dipper opened his mouth to protest, but Bacon hushed him and continued. "Ye've no idea what kind of power the Green Man wields. However, if ever there was a reason to do somethin' stupid, that reason would be love. We'll continue on with ye…and gods help us." He sighed. "Now let's find a spot to settle for a tick, and learn ye some magic, son."

Fenris walked up to Dipper, and nudged his wet nose against the satyr's hand.

"Thanks, Bacon. And you too, Fenris," Dipper said as the group made their way off the road. "I just hope I can master enough magic to be helpful by the time we reach the Green Palace."

From behind him, Grenda piped up happily, "And if you don't, there's always violence!"

/

Mabel sat up in her bed slowly, yawning and stretching. She blinked, and wiped the crust out of the corners of her eyes. Glancing over at Dipper's empty bed, she sighed. Waddles, having been awoken by Mabel's movement, oinked softly.

"It's so weird to think he's in a completely different dimension," Mabel said absently, scratching her pig's head. "He didn't bother to make his bed before he left. Looks almost like he just got up early, and he's downstairs eating breakfast with the Grunkles right now." She frowned. "Except that the Grunkles aren't even here either. Oh, Waddles, I don't like this! I don't like it at all!" She scooped the pig up, and held him close, burying her face into his soft, pink skin.

A knock at the bedroom door startled her, and she dropped Waddles back on the bed.

"Mabel, can I come in?" asked Melody through the door.

Mabel quickly wiped her eyes. "Yeah, door's open."

Melody entered the room, her curly hair still disheveled from sleep. She hugged a fluffy, pink dressing gown around herself.

"So, um, your new little friend Arden is here," she said, sounding confused.

"What? What time is it even?" asked Mabel, looking at the sky, black and star-filled, and tinged with just a hint of gray light, through the bedroom's triangle-shaped window.

"6:45. She's awful chipper for so early," Melody said, a small scowl on her face. "Must be one of those fabled 'morning people' I've heard about."

Mabel's eyes widened. "So the legends are _true_?"

Melody grinned. "In all seriousness, though… you maybe should tell her to wait until like nine if she's going to come over in the mornings. Do you want breakfast? I can make pancakes."

"Pancakes sound fantastic," said Mabel. "Don't they, Waddles?" she asked, poking her pig in his belly. He oinked.

"You heard the pig," said Mabel, flashing Melody a braces-filled grin. "Pancakes it is."

One quick shower and change of clothes later, Mabel found herself seated at the kitchen table with Arden.

"So, you're an early riser, huh?" asked Mabel as she poured a lake of syrup onto her small stack of pancakes.

"It would appear so," said Arden, as her pale cheeks flushed in her embarrassment. "I am used to being up at dawn. I did not consider that others do not also rise when I do. I am sorry for my rudeness."

Mabel flapped her hand at Arden, while she chewed a mouthful of her breakfast. Swallowing, she said "Don't even worry about it. I had actually just woken up anyway. Only—maybe text me before you come over next time?"

Arden, who had been ripping off pieces of her pancakes and feeding them to Waddles, looked up at Mabel with confusion.

"I am sorry, text?"

"On your cell phone," said Mabel, pulling her own phone out of her pocket and waving it at Arden. "Send me a text message. Give me your phone and I'll put my number in."

"I-I do not have a pocket phone," said Arden, her cheeks turning crimson once again.

Mabel simultaneously narrowed both eyes and raised one eyebrow. "What are you, Amish? Where did you say you were from, again?"

"I didn't," said Arden. "I have lived all over western Europe. I don't call one particular place home. I just go where my tribe takes me."

"Your tribe?" Mabel said, cocking her head to the side like a confused dog.

"M-my people. My family," said Arden, becoming flustered. "This topic of conversation is making me uncomfortable." She ducked her head down, her raven curls spilling over her face.

"Sorry Arden," said Mabel, patting her new friend's hand. "I won't pry. But since you don't have a cell phone, how about we say you wait at least two hours after dawn before you come over for a visit?"

Arden smiled up at Mabel through her curls. "I can do that."

"Good," said Mabel with a grin, pushing her chair away from the table and standing up. "Let's get to the gift shop now. Paz should be here soon. Despite the fact that she now has a disgusting crush on my brother, I kind of like hanging out with her."

/

"So, Bork, what does a well-bred dryad maiden wear to a dinner at the Green Man's court these days?" Wendy asked, sarcastically. She looked down at the tattered remains of the forest nymph costume she was still wearing. "I'm guessing not this."

Bork's lips quivered, as he suppressed a smile. "No, indeed, not that. Follow me, I'll show you your wardrobe."

Wendy walked slowly behind Bork as he trotted to a door set in the far wall that she had not yet noticed. As he pushed the door open, Wendy gasped in awe. She was not a materialistic person. Unlike many other girls her age, she did not collect fashion magazines to ogle over the newest looks every month. However, the sight before her left her breathless.

"Dude, these are all for me?" she said softly, as she walked amongst the vibrantly colored dresses, fingering the soft silk, velvet, cotton, and linen fabrics. Instead of being arranged by color in the tradition rainbow scheme, the dresses were all separated by season. Spring's dresses were all bright yellows, pinks and greens, while summer's wardrobe seemed to capture the warmth of a sunny day, with sheer sky blues, warm golds, and verdant, jewel greens. The winter dresses, all icy whites, dark blues, and black velvet, were beautiful as well—but Wendy's favorites were the autumn dresses: colors of soft golden hay, deep russet browns, and the various yellows, crimsons and oranges of fallen leaves.

Bork grinned with pride. "They are all for you, Wendy. Brownie made, down to a stitch. They will all fit perfectly as well, even though you were never measured. I cannot tell you how, though. Brownie secret." He winked. "Do you see one you would like to wear to dinner?"

Wendy scanned the group of autumn dresses. "This one," she said, grabbing a dress with a deep brown, sleeveless, plunging V-neck bodice, embroidered in golden Celtic knotwork, its floor length underskirt the same brown, topped with an overskirt made of wide strips of sheer fabric, the colors of fall leaves.

"That will look wonderful on you, especially with your hair washed and fixed nicely," commented Bork.

Wendy touched her hair, feeling a somehow simultaneously frizzy and greasy texture. "Gross," she muttered.

"Do not worry," said Bork brightly. "We will get you looking presentable in no time."

Wendy slung the dress over her shoulder, and followed Bork out to her bedchamber, where she tossed the garment down on her bed.

"Let me show you your bathing area," said Bork, motioning Wendy to follow. In the corner of the room was an alcove, blocked with a carved wooden screen. Peeking around it, Wendy saw a small pool, being fed by a waterfall. There were cloths for washing and drying laid out, as well as a small jar of what appeared to be liquid soap of some sort.

"Huh," said Wendy, "the Green Man may be a prick, but he does offer nice accommodations, for a kidnapper."

She stepped behind the screen and undressed, sticking a foot gingerly into the pool. The water was pleasantly warm, and the soap smelled like lavender. As she began her ablutions, Bork spoke to her from behind the screen.

"You—you are not going to say things like that at dinner, are you?" he asked, fear creeping into his voice. "He will not react well if you do."

"Relax, Bork," said Wendy, as she splashed in the water happily. "I will be the _very_ picture of propriety."

"From your tone," said Bork, "it sounds like that propriety will not be sincere?"

"You are correct, my friend," said Wendy, as she vigorously scrubbed her hair. "I figure, if I can get dear old _grandpa_ to think he's won me over, he'll give me more freedom. Maybe even allow me outside the palace. More freedom means more opportunity to escape this place and get back to Dipper and my friends and family."

"You mentioned this 'Dipper' before, when you were first brought here screaming," recalled Bork. "Who is he?"

Wendy smiled, as she floated on her back in the pool, rippling her fingers lazily through the water. "He's my boyfriend. More than that, really. I tried to deny it for a long time, because he's three years younger than me… but I think, if there is such a thing as a soulmate, Dipper Pines is mine."

"He must be special," observed Bork. "This is the first time I have heard true happiness in your voice since meeting you."

"You better believe it," said Wendy, closing her eyes, and thinking of the passionate desperation of his kisses on Christmas Eve. "He's smart, and kind, and handsome in an adorkable sort of way. He's everything I never realized I needed. He's probably back in Gravity Falls, beating himself up because he couldn't save me from the Green Guard. If pure humans could enter the Green, he'd probably be on his way to me right now. He's the best person I know."

"But is he worth risking the wrath of the Green Man?" asked Bork, his reedy voice worried.

Wendy's was quiet for a moment. "Yes," she finally said. "I'd risk anything to be with him again."

"For what it is worth, Wendy, I will help you return to your Dipper in any way I can," Bork said sincerely. "You sound like you really love him. The Green Man was wrong to rip you away from him, and your home and family."

"That's awfully sweet, Bork, but I don't want to get you in trouble with Him," said Wendy, as she climbed out of the pool and began to dry off.

"I think I will take a page out of your book, so to speak, and try to not care what He thinks," Bork said, his voice shaking slightly. "I have been raised to be an obedient household servant, but I have enough personal autonomy to disobey when I think my master is wrong. And he is wrong."

"Well, I don't even really have a plan yet, except to become a complete brown-noser, so you don't have to worry too much right now," said Wendy, squeezing water from her sodden hair.

"Then I will continue to perform my duties as assigned—to serve you, and help acclimate you to the customs and manners of His court," said Bork, confidence returning to his voice.

"That's fantastic, Bork," said Wendy cheerfully, still behind the wooden screen. "In that case… do you think you could find me some underwear?"

/

An afternoon of magic training left Dipper exhausted. After an hour of intense concentration, he was able to conjure a plastic butter knife. He had been trying for a sword. Another half hour led to slight progress—a steel letter opener.

"It at least looks like a sword," said Grenda, trying to be helpful. "And even though it's blunt, it could do real damage if you poked someone in the eye with it!"

"Thanks, Grenda," said Dipper glumly. Fenris laid his head on Dipper's knee and whined.

"Your brobdingnagian friend is right, Dipper," said Bacon, patting Dipper's other knee. "Keep trying. I bet each not-sword ye make will be a bit more 'weapony' than the last. And if all else fails, hey! You'll have a nice selection of cutlery at your disposal!"

"I don't have _time_ to keep trying," complained Dipper. "Grenda and I have already been in the Green Realm for nearly two full days, which means for Wendy, it's been three. Who knows what's happening to her at the palace? I doubt she's earning any stickers for 'playing nicely with others.'"

"Plus, winter break will be over in…" Grenda counted on her fingers, "one, two, three, four, _five days_. My parents know where I am and why I've gone, but your parents, Dipper? I doubt they'll buy Mabel's story that Wendy was kidnapped by tree-men and you had to turn into a mythological beast in order to enter another dimension and save her."

Bacon frowned. "So ye've got a bit of a deadline, then. Ye didn't mention that. We better get moving again. I know of a good place to camp only a couple hours from here…should be about nightfall by then."

"I guess if we get attacked, I can always poke the bad guys real hard with my letter opener," said Dipper with a sigh, standing up.

Fenris grumbled, and pawed at Dipper's leg.

"Fenris is right, Dipper," said Bacon. "Ye'll just need to try and concentrate with your eyes open, so ye can keep practicing while we travel."

"Do you really speak dog?" asked Grenda, skeptically.

"Well, I can't be giving away all me secrets, now can I sweetheart?" said Bacon, with a wink, as he hopped up onto Fenris' back.

"Fine, let's just go," said Dipper, swinging his pack onto his shoulders.

As the afternoon sun sank slowly toward the horizon, the group continued toward Bacon's camping spot, leaving a trail of semi pointy, nearly sharp objects littering the path behind them.

/

Bork stood back from Wendy, admiring his handiwork. "I daresay you might actually be presentable at His court now," he said, grinning.

Wendy stood in front of the full length mirror in her wardrobe, and had to admit, she agreed. The dress fit as if it had been custom tailored for her, and Bork had wound and coiled her hair into an intricate style she could never dream of attempting on her own. She wore no jewelry, save for her mother's pendant around her neck.

"Well," Wendy said, turning to face Bork, "Phase one of plan 'make Wendy fit in so she can get out' is complete."

Bork giggled. "That plan name is quite a mouthful."

Wendy cocked an eyebrow. "You think you can do better, tiny man?"

"How about… Operation Red Freedom?" suggested Bork.

Now it was Wendy's turn to giggle. "Dude, that either sounds like we're liberating the commies, or like a horrible name for a feminine hygiene product."

Bork winced. "Ew, no. Hmm… Project Heartache to Jailbreak?"

"I like the rhyme," admitted Wendy. "But it's still kind of a mouthful."

Bork opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off by a sharp knock on Wendy's outer chamber door.

"Oop, time to go to court," said the brownie. "You might not see me, but I will be there with you the whole time."

"Yeah, you're going to be with me the whole time, alright," said Wendy, as she bent down and picked up a protesting Bork, sitting him on her shoulder. "Right there."

As Wendy strode to the door, Bork wobbled, gripping her neck and shoulder tightly. "I thought you were planning to be the picture of propriety?" he said nervously.

"Don't worry, I'll pout prettily at grandpapa, asking him if I may _please_ keep my only friend in the whole Green Realm with me. I mean, it's not even a lie." Wendy put a hand over Bork's dangling legs to steady him. "If I'm a good little princess in all other aspects, I doubt he'll refuse me this one eccentricity."

"I hope you are correct," murmured Bork, as Wendy opened the door, to be met by her escort from the Green Guard.

"Hey, fellas," she said, grinning. "Take me to your leader, or whatever."

As they made their way down the hall, Wendy heard a soft voice next to her ear whisper "Oh, dear."

/

 **Whew! Another chapter down! This story is turning out longer than I originally planned… my characters keep doing things without my permission. XD**

 **I have a lot of thank yous for reviews this time. Y'all are gonna give me an ego the size of Texas! Seriously though, I absolutely love getting reviews, and appreciate every single one of them.**

 **First, thanks once again to the incomparable Fullmetalkhaos, who got me into this whole, wonderful mess.**

 **And a huge thanks for your reviews to: fereality, SockMcMuffin (twice!), Really Bored Guy, Guest (to answer your question, in my particular story, no, her brothers could not pass on the "dryad gene" to their daughters. It is only passed mother to daughter… so if Wendy has a daughter eventually,** _ **she**_ **would be a dryad.), Marshman101, scroghmc, LimboticMistisos, DaOneInDaCorner, DerNiko01, arcaneboss, and Cat Flare.**

 **Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you again next chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Night had fallen by the time Dipper and company reached the campsite near the edge of the lake. After an entire evening of attempting to conjure a sword out of nothing, the closest Dipper had come was a full-size wooden practice sword. He had strapped it to his waist, because, as Grenda pointed out—"You can whack things real hard with that!"

"Ye two get some sleep," said Bacon, as he stoked up a small fire in a clearly well-used fire pit. "Fenris and I will take first watch, then wake ye when it's your turn."

Dipper had his pack off and blanket down almost before Bacon completed his thought. Within minutes both he and Grenda were gently snoring.

"Is it just me, or is the Mundane Realm breeding 'em softer and softer over time?" Bacon asked Fenris.

The dog gave his head a slight nod, letting out a soft "wuff" of agreement.

"Ah, well, there's nothin' to be done, I suppose, aside from helping 'em out however we can," said Bacon thoughtfully, combing his fingers through his beard. He glanced back at the sleeping youths. "Well, now that it's lights out for them, I'm going to go off in search of a drink or five. I know of a troll settlement nearby that I'm on good terms with. Their grog is better than nothin'."

Fenris growled, pawing at the dirt.

"Oh, don't act all high and mighty," grumbled Bacon. "Besides, it's only just a ways from here. I'll be back long before our watch is over."

Fenris sneezed and shook his head.

"Okay, fine, _your_ watch then," conceded Bacon. He wiggled his fingers at Fenris, then trotted off along the lake shore.

Fenris watched Bacon until he was out of sight, then began to patrol the perimeter of the little camp. The night was proving uneventful. The moon was full and bright, illuminating the world around them in a soft, silver light. Every once in a while a splash from the lake would make Fenris perk up his ears, but it was just a couple of undine having fun.

After a few hours, however, Fenris' sensitive ears pricked. He heard footsteps—quick footsteps—running in their direction. His hackles rose, and he bared his teeth, preparing to face an unknown enemy.

"Fen-Fenris—don't attack—just me," wheezed Bacon, running towards the camp with a small cask tied to his back.

Fenris grumbled, and sat back in the dirt with a thump.

As Bacon entered the glow cast by the firelight, he gasped out "We need— to go—being—chased... Not on—as good—of terms—as I thought-with trolls."

Hearing the urgency in the clurichaun's voice, Fenris quickly began nudging Dipper and Grenda awake. Bacon was scooping dirt over the fire to extinguish it, still struggling to catch his breath. The cask on his back sloshed with his every move.

"Gah!" shouted Dipper as he shot up, having been rudely woken up by Fenris' cold, wet nose in his ear.

"SHHHHHHHut up!" whisper-cried Bacon, having regained some of his wind. "We're tryin' to avoid bein' captured, not advertise our bloody whereabouts!"

"Captured by who?" grunted Grenda, rubbing her eyes.

Bacon sighed. "The short story is I helped meself to some troll grog, thinkin' the trolls wouldn't mind... Turns out, they mind. And they're after me. Now hurry and pack up those blankets—they'll be gainin' ground."

Grenda began shoving the blankets in Dipper's pack, while he stared at the tiny, bearded man incredulously.

"You are-I can't—" Dipper sputtered, shaking angrily. "Really? _Really?!_ You just had to go and steal from trolls—"

"Wait, Bacon, what clan?" interrupted Grenda. "If they're Oddlock I can probably talk them down. Maybe."

"How should I know, then?" said Bacon with a shrug. "They're trolls. I don't know from clans; they all look the same to me."

Hearing this, Fenris marched up to the little man, and growled down into his face.

"Well, yes, I said I was on good terms with them… ye can't really be on bad terms with someone ye've never met," Bacon said to the dog, smugly.

Fenris growled again, slowly walking forward, which made Bacon have to back up.

"No, I suppose getting 'em chased down by club-wielding trolls _is_ pretty much the opposite of helping 'em however we can," muttered Bacon.

"Not that I don't totally want to see you get owned by a dog, Bacon," said Dipper quietly, "But shouldn't we, you know, be running?"

Grenda gulped. "Too late."

Dipper, Fenris, and Bacon had been ignoring the perimeter. They all looked up at once, shocked to see that they were completely surrounded. The moonlight glinted off six pairs of red eyes, glaring with malevolent intent, their owners closing in on the group.

Fenris couched down, hackles raised, a low rumble emanating from deep in his chest.

"They're so quiet—how are they so quiet?" Dipper whispered, panicking.

"Troll magic," answered Grenda, attempting to speak softly. "Trolls can hunt silently."

Bacon poked his head up between the two teens, and jabbed Grenda in the ribs. "If ye're keen on findin' out their clan, now'd be the time to ask."

"Ow! Okay," hissed Grenda. She unstrapped the maul from her back, and held it in front of her, the Oddlock crest facing outwards. She spun a slow circle on the spot, trying to make sure all the trolls saw the crest.

"I am Grenda of Clan Oddlock," she said, her voice shaking, yet oddly formal. "Which clan are you, and why do you disturb us this night?"

A single troll, bigger, and seemingly more misshapen than the rest, stepped forward. He grinned, but it was not a friendly grin. He dragged a crude wooden club behind him, heavy enough to leave a small trench in the dirt behind him.

"We being Clan Marwolaeth," he said, his voice guttural. He glanced around at his kin. "We wanting back grog and killing tiny man." His smile grew wider, more sinister. "Now we getting bonus Oddlock hostage, and goat and dog for eating!" He roared loudly, at a decibel his brothers exceeded with enthusiasm.

"Dipper," Bacon shouted, covering his ears from the noise of the troll's roars, "Now would be a good time to use your magic… No pressure though!"

Everyone lurched to action at once. The troll who had spoken raised his club, intending to flatten Dipper. Before he could start its downward arc, however, Fenris leapt at the club, knocking the troll off balance. Fenris tried to go for the troll's throat, but was smacked aside with brutal force, yelping as he flew through the air.

Grenda, standing beside Dipper, screamed and swung her maul in a wild arc, attempting to force the trolls in front of her to keep their distance. Fenris limped over and took up a position on Dipper's other side. Bacon was nowhere to be seen. Dipper crouched low, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to concentrate on his magic.

"Armor, safety, deliverance," he muttered, while focusing on his friends.

"Uh, Dipper," shouted Grenda, still fending off multiple trolls, "Thanks, but not helpful!"

He opened his eyes and glanced up at her, then over at Fenris. They were both wearing full suits of armor—made entirely of bubble wrap.

Fenris threw himself once more at the largest troll, resulting in a dull plastic thud, accompanied by the poppoppop of the bubbles.

The troll picked Fenris up by the scruff of his neck, holding the flailing dog away from himself, and began laughing.

The other trolls heard their leader's laughter, and turned to see what was going on.

"Grenna, hit 'em!" Bacon's voice, slurring slightly, called from somewhere nearby. "Hit 'em nooow! In the kneecaps!"

Grenda didn't think twice, and swung her maul with all her force, which connected with the nearest troll's knee with a resounding CRACK!

The troll screamed, falling down and clutching his leg. The troll leader stopped laughing and looked for the source of the scream, allowing Fenris enough time to wriggle out of his grasp and clamp his powerful jaws around the leader's arm. The troll roared in pain and shook his arm wildly, but Fenris held fast.

"Dipperrr," came Bacon's voice again, "mooore magic! C'mon goat boy!"

It hit Dipper as suddenly as Grenda's maul had hit the troll's kneecap—he was using the wrong kind of magic for the situation. The bubble wrap armor had not helped protect Grenda or Fenris in a physical sense, but it had caused a distraction, which Dipper's friends were able to use to their advantage.

 _Glamours_ thought Dipper. _Illusion. Making people see stuff that isn't there… Bacon said gods have that power—I hope he's right._

Dipper opened his mind, and grasped the first idea that came to him. He furrowed his brow and held his fingers to his temples, concentrating intently on the leader of Clan Marwolaeth, and a video game he and Mabel had played as children.

Suddenly a high pitched scream rent the air, accompanied by the thud of Fenris dropping to the ground, having unclamped his jaws in shock.

The troll leader now appeared to be a beautiful blonde princess, wearing a fluffy pink dress and a gold crown. His clan-mates looked at each other, scratching their heads.

"She is stealing our leader!" one shouted, snarling. "We be getting him back from her!"

The princess' eyes went wide in fear, as she uttered a soft "No!" She slowly backed up, then suddenly turned on her heel and ran as fast as her petite slippered feet could carry her.

The trolls let forth an ear-piercing war cry, and ran after the princess, (the one Grenda had injured being carried over a clan-mate's shoulder).

Dipper, Grenda and Fenris watched, stunned, until the princess and her angry mob were out of sight.

Bacon popped his head out of Dipper's pack, where he and his cask of grog had sought refuge when the fighting began.

"Good—uuuuurp—job, kid," he said, belching. He wiped his lips. "Glamours tend to be temorarr—hic!—tempolary-erg—short-lived. We should proberly—prolbaby—hic!—we should go."

In the back of his mind, Dipper was still mad at Bacon for bringing trouble to them in the first place, but the anger was quickly overpowered by an intense giddiness. He had done magic! Magic that happened as he intended it to! And the chaos it caused was brilliant!

Dipper began to chuckle, as a mischievous, Puck-like grin brightened his features.

"Uh, you okay, man?" asked Grenda with concern. Fenris was staring at Dipper with his head cocked to the side.

"Oh, don' worry 'bout him, frens," said Bacon, flapping a hand at them. "He's jus finally channeling th' Puck part of his personalali—persimalety—self."

Dipper smirked. "This is starting to be fun."

/

The Mystery Shack was slightly busier than anticipated. Soos and Melody were both tied up with giving tours, leaving a stressed out Pacifica running the gift shop by herself, so Mabel and Arden decided to pitch in and help. Mabel and Pacifica took turns on the register, and Arden proved to actually be quite adept at persuading dimwitted tourists to buy useless souvenirs.

There was a lull at the register, and while Arden was busy helping a customer choose between a puma shirt and a panther shirt, Mabel pulled Pacifica aside for a quiet chat.

"Hey, Paz, just curious—have you noticed anything…differenty about Arden?" whispered Mabel.

"Uh, you mean besides the love affair she's been having with your pig, her horrid fashion sense, and her strangely formal way of speaking?" asked Pacifica, rolling her eyes.

"Well, yeah, actually," said Mabel. "She showed up here before _dawn_ this morning, for one. And when I asked her to just text me before she came over next time, she said she doesn't have a cell phone."

"Okay, that is a little weird," agreed Pacifica.

"Not only that," said Mabel, glancing over at Arden, still busy with the customers, "I asked her where she's from, and she said from all over Western Europe… something about a tribe? She got really flustered."

Pacifica tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Oh wait, I do remember something. When we left the shack at the same time last night? I thought we'd walk back to town together—but she said bye, then booked it into the woods, in the _opposite_ direction of town."

"Weird," said Mabel, glancing curiously at Arden once again. "I wonder if she's, like, in the witness protection program or something?"

"Who knows," said Pacifica, shrugging. "I mean, weirder things have happened around here."

"You have a point," Mabel said, smiling. "Much weirder. Wanna follow her when she leaves?"

Pacifica held out her hand, inspecting her fingernails. "I guess, if you really want to," she said absently. "I don't really have anything better to do."

"Admit it, you love a good mystery as much as I do," Mabel said, grinning as she nudged Pacifica lightly with her elbow.

Pacifica smiled. "Well, I guess you and your brother _have_ given me a bit of a taste for detective work and weirdness." She sighed dreamily. "Speaking of your brother—"

"NOPE!" cried Mabel, covering her ears with her hands. "La la la, I can't hear you!"

Pacifica chuckled to herself as Mabel wandered off, still covering her ears.

That afternoon, Pacifica and Mabel cleaned the shop slowly, waiting for Arden to leave. Finally, their new friend glanced out the window and sighed.

"It is nearly dark. I must be going, I think," said Arden. "If it is okay, I might come over again tomorrow—just not quite so early," she continued, blushing.

"Oh yeah, no prob!" said Mabel, grinning. "We'll see you tomorrow."

Pacifica smiled and waved as Arden walked out the door, and then rushed to the window. "Yup, she's heading in the same direction as last night," she said.

"Time to be sneaky!" said Mabel happily, pulling on a tattered trench coat that Ford had left at the shack. It hung all the way to her feet.

"Why are you wearing that? You look _ridiculous_ ," sniffed Pacifica, as she pulled on a puffy, down-filled jacket that made her look like a purple marshmallow.

"Because it's a dectectiving coat, duh," Mabel said, rolling her eyes. She grabbed Pacifica's hand and yanked her out the door. "C'mon, we don't want to lose her!"

The pair waited until Arden had entered the forest, and then followed her in, quietly darting behind trees and peering around them, letting her walk a ways before they followed again.

The daylight was quickly fading into twilight, casting a soft periwinkle glow on the forest, and lengthening the already dark shadows cast by the tall trees. The only sound Mabel and Pacifica could hear was the hush of their shoes treading upon the dead pine needles littering the forest floor.

"Uh, Paz…" whispered Mabel uncertainly, as they paused behind a large tree trunk peering around it, "I think we lost her… it's been at least five minutes since I saw her ahead of us."

"What?!" hissed Pacifica. "I thought you had a bead on her. I haven't seen her for at least ten minutes. I've just been following you!"

"I believe it is me you are looking for?" came a familiar voice from behind them.

Mabel and Pacifica simultaneously whipped around, and yelped.

Before them stood Arden, but she looked a bit different than she had at the Mystery Shack. Her black tank-top and yellow flannel shirt had been traded in for a leather jerkin over a white linen blouse. Instead of jeans, she wore dark green wool trousers, tucked into knee-high leather boots. Her curly, raven locks were as untamed as ever, but out of them poked a small set of deer antlers. A silver, jeweled chain hung gracefully across her forehead. Most notable, however, were the longbow and quiver of arrows slung over her shoulder, and the spear, leveled directly at Mabel's face.

Arden's eyes flashed with fury as she said coldly, "It is loathsome to spy on one who would call you friend."

/

"Wow," Wendy whispered in awe, as she was escorted into the main court of the Green Man.

"It is grand, is it not?" Bork said softly, from his perch on her shoulder.

The walls and ceiling were made of living trees, growing twisted and woven together. In fact, all the furniture was formed of living wood. The tables and benches, which seated numerous dryads and other nature spirits, appeared to grow up out of the ground. The Green Man's throne was actually carved into the trunk of a giant oak tree, which was the centerpiece of the room. Lighting was provided by glass orbs hanging from the ceiling, each filled with a mass of fireflies. Their soft glow gave the court a hazy, dreamlike appearance.

As the Green Guardsmen escorted Wendy toward the throne, a nasal voice announced loudly: "Her royal highness, Wyn Dahlia Beithesdottir." The voice came from a rotund little dwarf, wearing an important looking hat, standing at the bottom of the steps leading up to the high board and throne.

"Beithesdottir?" Wendy muttered and cocked an eyebrow. As she approached the throne, she felt a sharp jab in her neck. "Curtsey!" hissed Bork.

Wendy held her skirts out and sank low, wobbling a bit.

"Rise, my child," said the Green Man. His voice was deep and rich, like freshly tilled earth.

Wendy stood, and looked—really looked—at her grandfather for the first time. His visage was that of a middle-aged man, but his deep green eyes had clearly seen centuries. His skin was tinged green, and instead of hair, he grew foliage. Long vines were wrapped all around his torso, arms, and legs.

The Green Man inspected Wendy as she stood staring at him, several of his smaller vines reaching out to touch her face. Wendy flinched, and had to strongly resist the urge to push the vines away.

 _Remember, Corduroy, you're being a good little princess now. Don't screw this up!_ She mustered up a friendly grin.

Bork suddenly slid sideways off Wendy's shoulder, and she had to twist quickly to catch him. He was trembling.

The Green Man laughed loudly. "It appears my vines startled your servant. You did not need to bring him with you, you know. There are plenty of servants in the court to see to your needs this evening."

Wendy settled Bork back onto her shoulder. He held on so tightly that his tiny fingers dug into her flesh. He clearly had not wanted to draw the attention of the Green Man.

"Please, may I keep him with me?" Wendy wheedled her grandfather. "Bork has been very kind to me, and he has been explaining things to me that I need to know to better fit in—in my new home."

"I am pleased to hear you say that," said the Green Man, smiling, as if indulging a child. "Further recalcitrance on your part would have proved…problematic. However, since you seem to have seen the error of your ways, you may keep your servant with you for now."

Wendy smiled prettily, throwing in another curtsey for good measure. "Thank you, grandfather!"

The Green Man beckoned to an empty seat at his right hand. "As you are now behaving in a manner much more suitable to your station, (and as long as you continue to do so), you will join me in my court for meals. Come, sit."

Wendy took her seat at the high board—a fancy table at the head of the room, which sat perpendicular to the rest of the tables below. Besides herself and the Green Man, there were a handful of other important looking gods or magical creatures sitting in seats of honor at the Green Man's table.

As Wendy sat down, brownies began scurrying around, serving food and drink to the courtiers. The Green Man tucked into his meal with gusto. It appeared he wasn't one for polite conversation at the dinner table. Wendy eyed the food on her plate suspiciously. She had eaten the bread and cheese that had been brought to her chamber while she was under "house arrest," and it had all been fine, but there was a large cut of meat on her plate that she couldn't identify. She poked it with her fork.

"There's nothing wrong with the meat, I assure you," said a friendly voice on Wendy's right. "I slew the beast myself." She turned and was staring into the face of a shirtless man, who appeared to be in his early twenties. His hair was a jumble of brown curls, out of which jutted two large stag antlers, decorated with golden bands at their bases. His deep brown eyes were warm and kind. With a pang, Wendy realized that the man reminded her of an older version of Dipper.

"Hi," said the young man, grinning. "I'm Cernunnos, the devastatingly handsome Lord of the Hunt… among other things. And you are the beautiful and infamous Wyn Dahlia, who dared defy the Green Man, and lived to tell the tale."

From her left, Wendy heard the Green Man snort derisively.

"Actually, I'd prefer to be called Wendy," she said. "This little dude is Bork. Say hi Bork!"

Bork waved, and then flicked Wendy hard in the earlobe.

"Ow! Sorry, Bork would prefer I not call attention to him," said Wendy, rubbing her ear. "So what's this about 'slaying the beast'? I mean, what kind of beast are we talking about? I'm not being served like, ogre bits, or something, am I?"

Cernunnos laughed loudly, slapping his knee. "Certainly not! No, the beast I slew was a large wild boar." He held a hand next to his mouth, and leaned over to Wendy, mock whispering. "Just don't tell my sister—they're her favorite beast. She'd have my head!"

"Don't worry, seeing as I don't know your sister, or really anyone else here for that matter." Wendy looked back at her plate. "Boar…so, pork?"

Cernunnos rolled his eyes. "Well, yes… but that just makes it sound so _agricultural_."

Wendy laughed. "Well we _certainly_ can't have that, now can we?"

As the courses of the meal progressed, Wendy and Cernunnos continued to laugh and joke. The Lord of the Hunt had quick wit and a friendly nature that put Wendy at ease. Although she allowed herself to enjoy the evening, she never forgot that she was there against her will, and that her kidnapper was sitting to her left. The good behavior and pretty manners were all a show—she simply needed to fool the Green Man into trusting her enough to let her roam the palace grounds. Then she would find a way to escape.

With thoughts of freedom, her friends, and Dipper firmly in the back of her mind, Wendy approached the Green Man at the end of the meal.

"Grandfather, if this is to be my home now, I would like to become more familiar with it," Wendy said, batting her eyelashes at him. "Would you permit me to walk the grounds tomorrow, instead of staying locked in my chambers?"

"Why, of course, my dear," said the Green Man, reaching out and patting Wendy's hand. "If fact, since you seem to be getting along with Cernunnos so well, I was going to suggest that myself."

"Thank you, grandfather!" said Wendy, her smile genuine. "But… what does Cernunnos have to do with anything?"

"A long while ago, Cernunnos performed a favor for me, in return for which, I promised him a boon—one of my dryad maidens, to be his bride," explained the Green Man. "He has taken his time in choosing. I have never before seen him show as much interest in another maiden as he has shown in you this night. I will allow you free reign of my palace and grounds tomorrow, as long as the Lord of the Hunt accompanies you." He winked at her. "If all goes well, _and it had better,_ we will likely have a betrothal to celebrate tomorrow evening!"

A small voice next to Wendy's ear whispered "Uh-oh…"

Wendy gulped. This was going to complicate things.

/

/

/

So, here we are, at the end of another chapter. Thanks for coming this far with me! As always, I really appreciate feedback on my writing, so please feel free to review and tell me what you think!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the past chapter: Niko, fereality, NovelDrew, scroghmc, Really Bored Guy, Guest, Marshman101, RebelCrow, Dexay, LimboticMistisos, ExplodingKnuckler, arcaneboss, adaley452, and as always, FullMetalKhaos, for inspiring me to keep writing.

See you next chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Dipper, Grenda, Bacon, and Fenris continued travelling throughout the night, in order to put as much distance between themselves and the trolls of Clan Marwolaeth as possible. The dark velvet sky was just beginning to show the barest hints of the indigo and violet that precede dawn, when Grenda simply stopped walking, and sat down.

Dipper stopped short, nearly tripping over her.

"What's goin' on?" mumbled Bacon, from within Dipper's pack, where he had been sleeping off the troll grog. "Why th' stopping?"

"Resting now," said Grenda.

Fenris nudged Grenda with his nose, to which she responded by patting him on the head.

"Ye're right, Fen-me-boy," said Bacon, as he poked his head out of the pack. "Dipper, y' both need to rest. Fenny says he'll watch for trouble so's we can nap."

Fenris bared his teeth and growled at Bacon.

"Okay, I won't call you Fenny. Ye're no fun, you know that?" pouted Bacon.

Having finally stopped moving, it occurred to Dipper just how exhausted and drained he felt.

"Okay, that sounds good to me," said Dipper, as he grabbed Grenda's wrist and pulled her up, so they could get off the road.

They lay down in a small clearing, and both Dipper and Grenda were asleep within seconds of their heads hitting the ground.

/

Dipper walked alone in the darkness. A light mist hovered over the ground, and the inky shapes of leaves and branches blotted out any hint of the starry sky above.

He didn't know where he was going, or why he was going there, but he felt the urge to keep moving.

Suddenly, a lighthearted laugh echoed through the trees. Dipper spun around, searching for the source of the laughter. He saw a flash of red, and ran toward it. _Wendy._

"Wendy, wait!" he cried, running toward her.

"Dipper?" Wendy sounded surprised.

He saw her, straight ahead. She had flowers woven throughout her long, red hair. The flowers were all she wore.

Dipper stopped dead, his heart pounding. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on. Her skin, lightly freckled in spots that saw the sun regularly, was bone white on the rest of her body. Her hips swayed seductively as she slowly approached him.

"Dude, I'm up here," she said softly, a slow smile spreading across her lips. As his eyes met hers, she crossed the remaining distance between them. Dipper was entranced.

"W-Wendy…why are you… naked?" he stammered.

"Because I've been waiting for you, dork," she murmured, staring up at him through her dark lashes.

"But I've been here the whole time—"

Wendy cut him off by pressing a finger against his lips. "I've been _waiting_ for my little Dipper to grow up." She looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on his strong satyr thighs, his newly visible abs, and his chiseled jawline. She caressed the side of his face, and pressed her lithe form against the length of his body, whispering in his ear "And _my_ , has he grown up."

Dipper encircled her with his arms, reveling in the softness of her firm flesh beneath his hands. She bit his earlobe, causing him to moan.

He closed his eyes, burying his face in her hair, as she gently nipped and licked at his neck.

"Wendy…" Dipper managed to groan.

"Dipper…" she whispered hungrily, as she slid her hands down toward his loincloth.

Dipper inhaled sharply.

/

Startled awake by a cold, wet nose in his ear, Dipper grumbled. He would have liked to have seen that dream to its climax.

 _Kid, we need to get moving soon, but I thought you'd want me to wake you up first._

Dipper shot up, and looked quizzically at Fenris. "Did… did I just hear you? In my head?"

 _You did._ The dog glanced down at Dipper's loincloth, then back up at his face. _It appears that your…pine tree… has pitched a tent. You might want to take care of that before I wake up the others._

Grenda snorted in her sleep and rolled over, spurring Dipper to his feet. He raced behind a clump of trees.

A few minutes later, he emerged from behind the trees, red-faced. "So, uh… thanks for waking me first Fenris. Also, how come I can suddenly hear you in my head like Bacon does?"

 _I can allow whomever I want to "hear" me. I just prefer to get to know people somewhat before popping into their heads. You seem like a good enough kid._ Fenris cocked his head to the side. _By the way, when Puck transformed you into… well, him, essentially… did he tell you much about being a satyr?_

"Not really, no," said Dipper. "Why, is there something I should know?"

Fenris sighed audibly, his ears flicking back slightly. _Ugh, he's just like my dad. He thinks he's so_ clever. _I think finally getting in touch with your magic somehow also "woke up" your satyr side, because satyrs represent abundance and… fertility. They're known for being quite virile. Add to that the hormones of a seventeen year old boy… Let's just say you're going to have to practice a lot of self-control once we rescue your girlfriend._

"Oh, good," said Dipper flatly, as Fenris trotted over to prod Grenda awake.

Not seeing Bacon anywhere, Dipper peered inside his pack, and found the clurichaun fast asleep, clutching the vial of emergency glitter like a teddy bear.

"Yo, Pork Rind, time to go," said Dipper, grabbing a startled Bacon by the back of his shirt and dumping him unceremoniously on the ground.

"Hey, watch the goods, Goats McGee," huffed Bacon, standing and dusting himself off.

Fenris knelt down next to Bacon. _Up you get, wee man. We need to travel quickly to reach the mountains before noon._

"So if we get to the base of the mountains by noon, how long will it take us to actually get to the Green Palace?" asked Dipper, as the group made their way back to the road.

"Yeah, I'm bored of travelling," complained Grenda. "When will we get to the rescuing Wendy part of this trip?"

"That…uh," said Bacon, hesitating, "that will depend on whether or not the dwarves allow us passage through their territory in the mines, or if they… remember me. Incidentally, Dipper, I will probably need to go for a ride in your pack again once we near the dwarves' territory."

A deep rumble emanated from within Fenris' chest, and his ears flicked back. _What did you do to offend the dwarves, Beagán_?

The small man chuckled and shook his head. "It's kind of a long story, that."

Dipper grinned. "Why don't you indulge us, Bacon?" He glanced at the mountains in the distance. "We have time."

"Story! Story!" chanted Grenda, throwing her fists in the air.

"Ah, fine then," said Bacon, settling himself into a more comfortable position on Fenris' back. "To begin with—did you know that some dwarven women are bearded? I didn't… and I learned the hard way."

/

"Time to wake up, Wen."

Wendy felt a soft kiss on her forehead, followed by one on each of her eyelids.

"Mmmmmm." She stretched and rolled onto her side, smiling up into Dipper's warm brown eyes. She loved the way he looked at her—like she was soft and beautiful, and the most important person in his whole world.

"But I want to stay in bed," Wendy mock whined, reaching up to pull him down to her level, kissing him passionately. He moaned low against her mouth, sending tingles down Wendy's spine. She pulled him closer, twining her fingers through his soft brown curls.

"I love you, Wendy," Dipper whispered in her ear. His hands began roaming her body, caressing her breasts, the curve of her waist, and the soft rounding of her belly. He let his hand rest there. "But you have to get out of bed, so we can go to your appointment, and find out if we're having a Stanford Lee, or a Beithe Mabel."

Wendy grinned, putting her hand on top of his. "Or both."

Dipper nodded, a twinkle in his eye. "Well, twins _do_ run in my family."

As he said that, the life within Wendy gave a powerful kick.

"Alright, alright," said Wendy, rubbing her belly as she eased herself up from the bed. "Let's get going."

/

Wendy slowly opened her eyes, her hand going to her stomach. It was its normal, flat self. A wave of disappointment washed over her. _I'm definitely not ready to be a mom,_ she thought. _So why am I so sad now?_

She pictured the older Dipper in her dream; the love in his eyes, the excitement in his voice. Her heart skipped a beat. _I… I love him so much that I want to have a family with him._ She smiled, as a tear trickled down her cheek. She already knew she was in love with Dipper, but the feeling of loss after waking from a dream where she had been pregnant with his child was so intense, that she was absolutely sure now— _He is the one. The one I'm going to marry._

"Mistress—er—Wendy?"

Wendy leaned off the bed on one elbow, and looked down at Bork. "Yeah, man, what's up?" she asked, trying to stifle her emotions and sound casual.

"You should be getting ready. Cernunnos will be here soon to escort you around the palace grounds," said the young brownie. "Are…you okay? Have you been crying?"

"What?" said Wendy, quickly wiping the errant tear from her cheek. "No. I mean, yes, but—"

Bork nodded sagely. "Nightmare?"

Wendy sighed. "No, it was a good dream. It just made me miss Dipper even more."

"Ah, yes," said Bork, "And this complication with Cernunnos possibly wanting to take you as his bride doesn't help matters."

"Yeah. What's that about, anyway?" asked Wendy, as she got out of bed and went to her wardrobe to pick her day's outfit. "I mean, he just met me."

"You're asking the wrong guy," said Bork. He crossed his arms as he stood at the door of the wardrobe, waiting for Wendy to decide what to wear. "I just work here."

Wendy selected a burnt orange, sleeveless silk gown, with a corset-style bodice that laced up the front. The laces and embroidered accents were a deep brown. She waved Bork away, and stepped behind a screen to dress.

"The trick is going to be trying to get this Cernunnos guy to lose interest in me without doing anything obvious that would alert the Green Man to my intentions," said Wendy, as she fumbled with the laces on the front of the dress.

"Can't you just be honest?" asked Bork. "Just tell him you're not interested—that you love someone else."

"I totally would—except we know the Green Man can be exceptionally cruel when he's angry… we don't really know anything about Cernunnos." Wendy finished lacing her bodice, and emerged from behind the screen. "What if he went after Dipper and hurt or killed him, so that he wouldn't have competition? I couldn't handle that."

Bork motioned for Wendy to sit in front of the vanity, and he climbed up onto a small stool so he could fix her hair. "I don't know what to tell you then," he said, as he started to glide a brush through her long locks.

Wendy sat silently, lost in thought, as Bork brushed her hair until it shone, and then tied it in a ponytail with a simple gold ribbon.

She was startled back to reality by a sharp knock on her outer chamber door.

"Eek!" screeched Bork, as Wendy swooped down and scooped him up, settling him on her shoulder once again.

"Sorry, bud," she said quietly. She strode to her chamber door, and opened it with a shaking hand.

Cernunnos stood on the other side, fists on his hips, feet planted firmly, with a friendly grin spread across his face. He looked like a little boy who was proud of himself, and was showing off. Wendy smiled back in spite of herself.

Cernunnos didn't seem to be big on shirts, because his torso was bare again. He wore loose, soft brown pants, held up with a leather belt, and his feet were bare. The only decoration he wore on his person were the large gold rings at the base of his stag antlers.

"Good morning, fair lady," said Cerununnos with a wink.

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Sorry dude, I'm anything but a 'fair lady.'"

"Well," said Cernunnos, not phased in the least, "Good morning, anyway. And to your small friend, as well. Bork, I believe it was?"

Bork nodded mutely. He was receiving entirely too much godly attention lately.

Cernunnos held his hand out to Wendy. "I know you are eager to explore the palace. Where shall we go first?"

Wendy ignored his hand, and walked briskly past him. "Can we go out on the grounds first? I need some sun in my life."

"As you wish," said Cernunnos, falling into step beside her.

Wendy, Bork and Cernunnos spent the morning outside. The palace grounds were an interesting mishmash of different types of forests, woven together by gravel footpaths. Wendy marveled at the tropical rainforest, which included its own low-hanging mist and humidity, as well as native rainforest creatures. For a while, Cernunnos gave a baby sloth a ride on his back. He would quicken his pace into a jog, and the creature tilted his head back, squeaking, its mouth opened in an obvious smile. It was incredibly cute.

Wendy's favorite part of the palace grounds, however, was the coniferous forest, because it felt like home. As they walked beneath the tall trees, the smells of pine needles and sap, and the earthy smell of the moist loam underfoot nearly brought her to tears.

"Are you okay, Wendy?" asked Bork softly, noticing her beginning to sniffle.

"Yeah, dude," she replied. "I—I just really want to go home."

Cernunnos, who had been walking ahead of them, slowed down until they caught up. "You seem sad," he said, noticing Wendy's watery eyes. "Would you like to go back inside now?"

"Actually, do you—both of you—mind if I have a few minutes to myself?" asked Wendy.

"It's okay with me," said Bork, sliding down Wendy's arm, and then hopping to the ground.

Cernunnos looked like he wanted to say otherwise, but he smiled slightly, and said, "Of course. I'll remain nearby if you need me."

"Thanks," said Wendy softly. She waited until her companions were out of sight, and sank down to her knees at the base of a large hemlock, finally letting her tears fall freely.

"Dipper," she whispered between shuddering breaths, "I miss you. Oh gods, I miss you so much. I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this…"

She leaned over, her fingers digging into the soft forest soil, her tears watering the earth.

It took Wendy a moment to realize, through her tear-blurred vision, that each spot where one of her tears landed had begun to sprout shoots of green.

Her eyes flew open, and she gasped. She touched one of the shoots, and it began to grow larger quite quickly. Wendy laughed wetly when she realized what kind of tree the little sapling was. A common Sugar Pine. A pine tree.

She laughed again, louder. She kept laughing. She was nearly hysterical by the time Cernunnos, carrying Bork on his shoulder, came running to see what was going on with her.

Cernunnos grinned. "I see you have discovered your essence—the type of tree that your soul is bonded to."

"That my soul is bonded to?" asked Wendy, raising a brow. "Well that makes sense, then."

"How do you mean?" asked Cernunnos.

"Oh, well my…" Wendy trailed off. She had almost told Cernunnos about Dipper. She swallowed, and began again. "I just love pines. They're my favorite."

"Well, I'm glad you're in a better mood, because I have a surprise for you," said the handsome god. "Instead of lunch at the high board, we're going to have a secluded picnic—just you and me—in your grandfather's inner courtyard. It's beautiful, and very private. He doesn't let just anyone in there."

Wendy tried to bury her panic. "Se-secluded? You know who loves secluded picnics with just you and me? Bork!"

"Sorry, he only gave the two of us permission," said Cernunnos. He did look genuinely apologetic. "You don't mind, do you buddy?" he asked the brownie on his shoulder.

Bork looked at Wendy with wide eyes. She shook her head at him ever so slightly. Bork gave her a small shrug, as if to say _sorry, nothing I can do_ , and said "Not at all, Master Cerununnos."

Wendy sighed, as she followed Cernunnos back to the palace. A secluded picnic in a private courtyard, with a handsome god that wanted to make her his bride. Nah, nothing could possibly go wrong there.

/

The sun was high and bright overhead when Dipper, Grenda, Bacon and Fenris reached the base of the mountains.

"There's the entrance to the Dwarves' territory," said Bacon, pointing from his seat upon Fenris' back.

"Where?" asked Grenda, holding a hand over her eyes and squinting.

Dipper pointed to a stone arch in the side of the mountain. "Under there."

"Under where?" Grenda asked, still unable to locate the arch.

Dipper and Bacon burst out laughing. "Underwear!" cried Dipper, slapping his thigh. Bacon laughed so hard he snorted. Fenris heaved a heavy sigh.

Oblivious, Grenda said "I still don't see it."

Shaking his head and chuckling softly to himself, Dipper muttered "Underwear…"

"Sweetie, after all this is over, ye may want t' ask your parents to get ye an eye exam," said Bacon, as he climbed down from Fenris' back. "Pack down, Dippicus. Time for me to do a little hidin'." Dipper sat the pack on the road, and the little man climbed in.

 _There's no alcohol in there, right?_ Fenris' ears twitched.

"No, _mother_ , the last of the grog is gone," came Bacon's muffled voice, as Dipper closed the pack and swung it back over his shoulders.

The group walked up the softly sloping incline to the arch at the base of the mountain. They were less than twenty meters away from the gateway when Grenda gasped.

"Oh, _now_ I see it!" she cried happily, clapping her hands.

"Eye exam, very necessary," said Dipper's pack quietly.

"Shut up, Bacon," muttered Dipper out of the side of his mouth, as the stone gateway under the arch opened.

A dark, bearded man about the size and build of Grenda strode forward. He was dressed simply in a red tunic, tied with a yellow sash, black breeches, and well worn, brown leather boots. He had a large, double-headed axe strapped to his back.

"Greetings, travelers," he spoke formally. "I am Dorin, Son of Gorman— the Dwarven elder. What business brings a satyr, a dog, and a… beautiful young woman together to Dwarven territory?" His eyes lingered on Grenda, who tried to disguise her awkward laugh with a cough.

Dipper stepped forward. "Uh, greetings," he said. "Look, I'm not good at this kind of thing. We were hoping for safe passage beneath your mountain. We need to get to the Green Palace, and we're kind of on a deadline."

While Dipper was talking, Dorin never took his eyes off of Grenda.

"That might be arranged," said the dwarf, still eyeing Grenda. "For a price."

"Uh," said Dipper, looking at Dorin, then Grenda, then back at Dorin. "What kind of price are we talking about?"

The dwarf finally looked up and met Dipper's eyes. "I don't suppose the girl is available for marriage?" he asked hopefully. Fenris stepped forward and bared his teeth at Dorin, and Dipper crossed his arms, frowning.

"Hey," said Grenda. "If whatever bargain you're making involves me, talk to me, short man."

"My apologies, fair maiden—"

"Can it, dude," said Grenda. "Number one, I'm not for sale. Number two, I have a boyfriend. And number three… I forgot number three." She turned to Dipper. "Sorry, man. I know you wanna get to Wendy as quick as possible, but… just no."

Dipper gave a half-hearted smile and patted Grenda on the back. "No hard feelings. I'd do anything for Wendy, but I think she'd be put out with me if she found out I stooped to selling _people_ to rescue her."

Dorin's shoulder's drooped in disappointment. "It was worth a shot," he muttered. He raised his eyes in hope, and said to Grenda "I don't suppose you'd at least grant me a _kiss_ in order to secure safe passage for you and your friends?"

Grenda eyed Dorin skeptically. "Just a kiss—that's all? No tricks? I grant you one kiss, and we're good to go?"

Dorin smiled. "Correct."

Grenda glanced at Dipper, who nodded his head vigorously, then at Fenris, whose tail thumped the ground.

Grenda sighed. "Sorry Marius," she mumbled, as she leaned forward and puckered her lips.

Dorin grabbed Grenda, and pulled her to him, holding her head, and sweeping her in a low dip. After a lingering kiss he let go of Grenda, and she stumbled away, dumbfounded.

"The mines are just a little further in," said a grinning Dorin, as he motioned to the stone arch behind him. "Tell the workers Dorin sent you, and you need cart passage to Greenside."

Dipper nudged Grenda to walk on, Fenris bringing up their rear. As they passed him, Dorin winked at Grenda. "If things don't work out with that boyfriend of yours, you know where to find me."

/

The inner courtyard of the Green Palace was as private and secluded as Cernunnos promised. It wasn't a fancy, manicured lawn full of statues, as Wendy had been expecting. Rather, it was a little forest grotto. A small stream bubbled lazily through clumps of blooming trees, ending at a small, natural pool situated in a clearing, shaded by a lone birch tree.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" asked Cernunnos, grinning. He was always grinning. Wendy decided it must be his default setting.

She nodded, noticing a picnic basket set up beneath the birch tree. "What's for eating? Did you slay another beast?"

"Haha! Right to the meal, huh? I like that you're not a dainty little flower, scared to appear un-ladylike," he said, patting her on the back. He let his hand linger against the small of her back, and Wendy, noticing, jerked away.

Cernunnos sat down next to the picnic basket, and indicated for Wendy to take a seat on the ground next to him. She sat just out of arm's reach. He delved into the basket, and began setting its contents on a cloth in front of them. He opened his mouth, then sighed, and closed it again.

"What?" asked Wendy. She grabbed a soft roll, and began tearing it into pieces and popping them into her mouth.

He sighed again. "You don't like me, do you?" Cernunnos asked, glancing up at Wendy with warm brown eyes, so similar to Dipper's. Wendy felt a pang of guilt. He really did seem like a nice guy.

"No, I like you," said Wendy, trying to choose her words carefully. "But you have to remember, I was brought here against my will."

Cernunnos cocked an eyebrow. "Your grandfather said he had his guard rescue you from the Mundane, where you had been imprisoned by a family of lumberjacks."

"Oh, he said that, did he?" said Wendy bitterly. "Well, then it must be true."

"He also said they had brainwashed you into thinking you were one of them, which was why you threw such a fit when they brought you in."

Wendy clenched her fist, squishing the roll she was holding. An angry tear slid down her cheek.

"Hey, hey, sorry," said Cernunnos, sliding closer to Wendy and putting his arm around her shoulders. He pried the squished roll from her fingers, and held her hand. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

He was so close that Wendy could feel his warm breath on her cheek. She blinked slowly. He was making her feel so warm and comfortable—and loved. Like she felt in her dream this morning. She glanced up at Cernunnos from beneath her lashes. His eyes were so similar… so similar to…

Suddenly, his lips were on hers, the weight of his body forcing her down to the ground. She felt like she had been struck by lightning. This wasn't Dipper!

"No!" she shrieked, pushing him off, and jumping to her feet. She felt a breeze and looked down—somehow he had managed to partially unlace her corset bodice, and her breasts were nearly falling out of it.

Cernunnos stood and reached for Wendy, receiving a kick to the stomach for his efforts.

"How. Dare. You." Wendy hissed through gritted teeth.

Once again, Cernunnos started toward her, his hands outstretched. "Wait, Wendy, I'm sorry! I—OOF" He stumbled back into the birch tree, clutching his stomach after another vicious kick.

"Please," he wheezed, "Let me explain…" He tried to walk toward Wendy, but something was stopping him. "What-?" As he turned around to see what he was caught on, a birch branch swung down and smacked him firmly across the face, leaving a bloody scrape in its wake.

"Are you—was that you who did that?" Cernunnos asked Wendy uncertainly.

Eyes wide, Wendy shook her head, as the vague shape of a feminine face appeared in the trunk of the tree. Its mouth opened, and a voice, dry and raspy from years of disuse slowly spoke.

"If you…ever…touch my…daughter…like that again…I will…kill you."

/

/

/

So yeah, another chapter done. Sorry for going so long between updates, but it might become my normal-ish posting schedule for a while. I'd love to update every week, but life gets in the way of writing fanfiction. Them's the breaks, I guess. ^_^

Another big ol' thanks to Mr. FullMetalKhaos for helping me out when I get stuck, and for making me believe maybe I _could_ write for a living someday.

And again, I love all my readers and reviewers! Y'all give me the warm fuzzies with your nice comments. Please leave me a review for this chapter, and let me know what I'm doing well, not well, etc.

Shoutouts to: fereality, Dexay, Guest (twice ^_^… and the resemblance to Huntress Wizard is completely coincidental, because I've never actually watched Adventure Time! XD), Guest Niko (don't worry, no plans to make it a heartbreak story!), Guest Teddy (*glare* log in!), another Guest, scroghmc (sorry dude, you got it wrong!), RebelCrow, Ahugefan3052, and WendipLover3052.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

The mine cart ride was dark, smelly, and uncomfortable, but luckily, also quick. Not quick enough, however, to avoid Dipper being treated to the sound of retching coming from his backpack. When they finally made it to the Greenside mine entrance, Dipper, Fenris, and Grenda stumbled out of the cart, waving a weak goodbye to the worker who had guided their cart under the mountain. As they reached the open air, sighing with relief, Dipper felt a poke in his back.

"Can I come out now?" asked Bacon, pitifully.

Dipper sat the backpack down and opened it, lifting out a pale and sweaty Bacon. He was holding Dipper's blanket balled up in his hands.

"I threw up in your blanket," he said, holding the offending material toward Dipper. "Sorry."

"Uh, that's okay, Bacon…" said Dipper, shrinking away from the clurichaun. "You can just, uh, put it down. I don't need it anymore."

"Okay," said Bacon, letting the blanket fall to the ground. His face looked slightly green.

"Are you gonna be okay to walk with us?" asked Dipper.

"I might have need of the Fenris express, actually," said Bacon. "I'm feelin' quite wibbly and squiffy."

Fenris knelt so Bacon could climb onto his back. _You had better not vomit on me, wee man._

"I'm not sure if I've got anything left in me to come back up, to be honest," said Bacon. Then he belched loudly, and covered his mouth.

"Gross, that sounded wet," said Grenda.

 _Indeed_ , said Fenris, his ears flicking back to lay flat.

"I got this," said Dipper. He snapped his fingers, and a blue plastic pail appeared upside down on Bacon's head. Dipper lifted it off, and handed it, right-side-up, to Bacon. "Puke bucket, just like Mabel and I used to use when we got sick on long car rides." He paused, and looked down at the bucket's stained, plastic inside. "Um, that might be the _actual_ bucket we used. You're welcome?"

"Wow, you're getting good at that, Dipper," said Grenda, impressed. "I wasn't sure you'd ever be able to figure your whole 'magic thing' out."

Dipper chuckled, about to make a crude joke about his "magic thing," when he was cut off by a new wave of retching coming from Bacon, whose head was buried in the plastic beach pail.

"That's gonna get old real fast," he said. He walked over to Grenda, put his hands over her ears, and when he pulled them away, she was wearing fluffy pink earmuffs. Kneeling down beside Fenris, he produced two generous sized cotton puffs, and plugged the dog's ears. Finally, he clasped his hands together, and when he brought them apart, he was holding an mp3 player and earbuds. He put the earbuds in, and grinned.

"I've never really had an appreciation for electronic dance music," he said loudly, "but damn if it isn't fun to move to."

As the group wound their way down the rocky mountain path, Dipper led the way, dancing and jumping from boulder to boulder on his nimble goat legs. They rounded a corner on the path, and a wide valley came into view below them. Dipper didn't notice. He had conjured himself a poi and was wildly spinning and twirling with it.

 _Dipper, you look like you're having fun, and all, but you haven't forgotten why you're here, have you?_

Startled, Dipper stopped swinging the poi in the middle of a rotation, and ended up smacking himself in the face with it. He could hear Bacon's riotous laughter over his music. Dipper tossed the poi away, and it disappeared before it hit the ground. He yanked out his earbuds and turned to face Fenris.

"Thanks, Sir Buzzkillington," he said sourly, rubbing the red spot on his cheek where the poi had struck him. "But no, I haven't forgotten why I'm here: I'm here to rescue Wendy. There's no law saying I can't have fun on the way." He paused, and arched an eyebrow. "Wait, there really isn't, is there? That would suck."

"Hold on a minute," said Grenda. She had pulled her earmuffs off, and they were resting around her neck. "Is Fenris talking to you in your head, like he does with Bacon? I feel kinda left out."

Bacon, who had discarded his pail, and looked considerably better, grinned. "I promise ye, sweetie, ye're not missin' much. He's just a dog, after all."

Fenris heaved a sigh. _Sorry, Grenda. There. Now you can all hear me. Bacon, would you kindly remove the cotton from my ears? That's better. Oh, also, go suck a lemon wee man. Tell my dad I'm 'just a dog,' and see what happens to you._

The grin slipped from Bacon's face. "Don't tell your dad on me, please," he mumbled.

Fenris snorted, choosing to ignore Bacon. _I apologize for interrupting your one-man rave, Dipper, but you haven't even looked out at the view before us, have you?_

Dipper shook his head in the negative, and turned around. The vista was breathtaking. They were looking down on a small valley, covered in gently rolling fields of wildflowers and tall grasses. In the distance, a small forested hill stood above the rest of the valley, at the crest of which stood an enormous palace. Dipper's heart leapt at the sight.

"Wendy's in there," he whispered.

"Not to be a downer," said Bacon, "But now that we're almost there… shouldn't we formulate some kind of plan?"

"Is 'get in, get girl, get gone' not a good enough plan?" asked Dipper.

"It's simple. I like it," said Grenda.

 _Unfortunately, it will probably not be a simple task at all,_ said Fenris. _We should rest here for a bit, have a meal, and discuss how you will save your Wendy, Dipper._

Now that Wendy was practically within his reach, it pained Dipper to not just run to her as fast as he could—but Fenris was right. It would be a fine thing to come this close, and then botch the rescue and have it all go sideways.

"Fine," said Dipper. "But let's make it quick. Who knows what's happening to Wendy in there?"

/

Wendy's hands shook, as she stepped forward to touch the familiar face outlined in the birch trunk.

"Mom?" she whispered softly. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but she didn't notice.

"Beithe?!" Cernunnos gasped.

"My sweet Wyn Dahlia. You've grown so much."

"Mom!" Wendy wrapped her arms tightly around the birch, and sobbed.

Cernunnos stood rooted to the spot. Literally. He tried to approach Wendy and offer her comfort, but was stopped in his tracks by roots that had wound up out of the ground, entrapping his feet and ankles.

Meanwhile, Bork, having been waiting for Wendy just outside the entrance to the courtyard, came running in, screaming and brandishing a sewing needle. He was nearly upon the picnickers before he realized that his services were not required.

Wendy let go of the birch, and wiped her eyes. "Bork?"

"I heard you scream… and-and then you were crying," said Bork hesitantly. "You are my friend. I wanted to help you."

"You are a brave little brownie, to try and protect my daughter's virtue," said Beithe. "Especially against a god."

"Oh. Um… thank you… talking tree?" said Bork, his puzzlement clear on his petite features.

"Bork, this is Beithe," said Wendy. "She's my mom," she added, her smile radiant.

Bork looked from Beithe, to Wendy, to Cernunnos, and back to Wendy. "I am very confused."

"So am I," said Cernunnos. "How did you come to be here, Beithe? The Green Man said he had sent you to another realm as punishment for your disobedience."

Beithe laughed bitterly. "You believed that utter bastard? I am sorry, but what he told you was a lie. He has kept me imprisoned here for the past… how old are you, Wendy?"

"Sixteen."

"I've missed so much…" breathed Beithe. "Six years, Cerny. My father has kept me imprisoned here, in my tree form, for the past _six_ years."

Cernunnos looked devastated. "You've been here this whole time? Why would he lie about that?"

"Hold up," said Wendy, raising her hand. " _Cerny_? Mom, you know him?"

"I thought I did," spat Beithe. "The Cernunnos I knew would never have tried to rape my daughter." Beithe's eyes shot to her daughter's unlaced bodice. "Speaking of which, Wendy, dear, you might want to fix your garment."

Wendy looked down and yelped, having forgotten about her near-nakedness in the excitement of her reunion with her mother. She attempted to re-do the laces, but her hands were shaking too badly.

"I can help you with that," offered Cernunnos.

Wendy looked up at Cernunnos, and narrowed her eyes hatefully. "Sod off," she spat. In a much nicer tone, she said "Bork, would you mind helping me with this?" She knelt down and the brownie had her bodice laced back up in less than a minute. She ruffled his hair and lifted him onto her shoulder, so he would feel included in the conversation.

"Well, now that _that_ urgent matter has been attended to," said Cernunnos wryly, "Beithe, please explain. Everything."

"You first," she countered. "As I said before, I've never known you to resort to rape to have your way with a woman. That is not the Cerny I grew up with. You and your sister were always the nicest of the gods of the Green. What changed?"

Cernunnos sighed. "We don't go to the Mundane very often anymore. That was one of the reasons it was considered particularly scandalous that you had run away so long ago."

"Yes, I do recall that," said Beithe. "My father was convinced that humanity was beyond saving, seeing as what they've done to their environment. I begged to differ."

"Indeed," said Cernunnos. "He also believes that their lack of respect for nature stems from their abandonment of the worship of us…" he glanced at Wendy, noting her confusion. "The old gods," he explained. "Worshipped when humanity was still primarily tribal in nature—before large cities and habitations were common. All the realms, including the Green and Mundane, were a lot more entwined. Gods and mortals alike passed onto each other's planes of existence frequently. What happened in one realm had a kind of ripple effect in all the others."

"Right, cool history lesson, bro," said Wendy, crossing her arms. "What does that have to do with you sexually assaulting me?"

Cernunnos looked down, shamefaced. "I am sorry, Wendy. Please understand, I was not entirely in control of myself."

Beithe scoffed. "Isn't that convenient for you."

Cernunnos looked up at her. "Beithe, as you said—the Cernunnos you knew would never resort to rape. That is because the Cernunnos you knew often ventured into the Mundane, and found willing partners easily. Once you ran away seventeen years ago, the Green Man put in place a ban, forbidding all the gods who call his realm home to venture into the Mundane. No humans are allowed in, either. This has proved…problematic for me."

"I think I am beginning to understand," said Beithe, "but that still doesn't make what you did to my daughter okay."

"Hold up, I'm still lost," said Wendy. "So you aren't able to run off to the Mundane and have promiscuous sex with randoms… why is that necessary, anyway?"

"Wendy," said Beithe, "the old gods are very complex creatures. They often represent multiple aspects of the natural world. The Green Man, for instance, is associated with forests, plant life, and wilderness."

Wendy nodded. "Yeah, I understand that much."

Beithe glanced at Cernunnos, whose cheeks were turning red. "Well Cerny represents hunting, as well as lust and fertility. He is literally horny by nature."

Bork whispered something into Wendy's ear, and she snorted, gesturing to Cernunnos' antlers. "Ah…hehehe… horny… because horns…"

Cernunnos scowled. "Yes, laugh it up. I'm perpetually in need of release. When I could venture into the mundane, it was easy enough to find willing females. I never forced any of them. Granted, I put off a powerful pheromone when I'm…ready to seal the deal, as it were. But the pheromone doesn't affect my partner's decision-making. If she is not interested, she makes it known, and I back off."

"Well that wasn't the case with me," said Wendy. "I was _so_ not interested, and you basically attacked me."

"That was what it looked like from my perspective as well, old friend," said Beithe.

"I am so, so sorry Wendy," said Cernunnos. "I was not thinking straight. Your grandfather has already pretty much promised you to me, and the way you were looking at me, when I was comforting you… I thought I saw love in your eyes. I'm not usually mistaken about that kind of thing—I guess this time I was."

Bork flicked Wendy's earlobe. "Tell him," the brownie whispered.

Wendy sighed. "You weren't wrong—not entirely. You saw love in my eyes because your eyes reminded me of someone else's. Someone I love more than anything, and would give anything to be with again."

Cernunnos looked crestfallen.

"Wait a moment," said Beithe. "While I really want to hear about this love of yours, Wendy, can we back up a few steps? My father _promised_ my daughter to you, Cerny?"

"Yes. We were to celebrate the betrothal at dinner tonight," said the horned god glumly. "But if she loves someone else, of course I will not force anything."

"Damn right," muttered Wendy.

The birch tree began to tremble violently, shaking the ground beneath it. The roots holding Cernunnos in place receded back into the earth.

"Mom, are you okay?" asked Wendy. "What's going on?"

Beithe stopped shaking, and yelled in frustration. "It's no use… this is the farthest I've ever been able to come out of my confinement. It's not enough! I am so _beyond_ angry at my father. He has absolutely _no right_ to try and marry you off."

"Mom, it's okay," said Wendy, brightly. "You heard Cernunnos just now—if I love someone else, he won't act on the Green Man's promise and force me into marriage."

"Sweetie, despite his actions toward you earlier, Cernunnos is generally an honorable and reasonable god," said Beithe. "My father—my father is not. He does not like being disobeyed. He wants you to marry Cernunnos. If you refuse, he may do to you what he's done to me, or worse. Wendy, as much as it pains me, you have to leave. Leave the Green Realm and never come back. Cerny can get you out of the palace. Please—"

"What?!" cried Wendy. "Mom, no! I'm not leaving you here with that misogynistic asshole! If I leave, I'm bringing you with me."

"Wendy," said Bork quietly, "she's a _tree_. A big tree. We can't just dig her up and take her with us."

"You!" Wendy pointed at Cernunnos. "You're a god. Fix her! Un-tree her!"

"I am sorry, Wendy. I cannot do that," said Cernunnos, shaking his head sadly. "Each god's magic is tied to what they represent. I can't do plant magic."

"Wendy, you must listen," pleaded Beithe. "The Green Man wants to control you. If he can't control you, he _will_ punish you. If he intends to celebrate your betrothal to Cernunnos tonight, and he is told there _is_ no betrothal, he will not take it well."

Wendy angrily wiped at the tears beginning to blur her vision. "I'm going to figure out a way to get you out of there, mom. If that means I have to 'get engaged' to Cernunnos tonight in order to buy some time, so be it."

Cernunnos frowned. "But Wendy—"

"Come on Bork," said Wendy, ignoring her mother and Cernunnos' protests as she walked away. "You need to help me pick out a 'betrothal' dress for tonight."

/

Dipper sat perched on the edge of a large boulder, fidgeting and wiggling his fingers. Now that Wendy's prison was within sight, he just wanted to be moving in that direction.

"Okay, let's do this," he said to himself, lacing his fingers together, and sitting up straight. "Planning time. Serious face."

"Ye look slightly more constipated than serious, son," said Bacon, grinning.

Dipper narrowed his eyes, but chose to ignore Bacon's jab. "So, how're we getting in? Ideas? Anyone?"

"It's made of wood, right?" asked Grenda, from her seat directly in front of Dipper, on the dusty path. "Why don't we just burn it down?"

 _Oh dear,_ said Fenris.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Okay, Grenda… let me 'splain something to you." He hopped down from his boulder, approached Grenda, knelt down to her level, and smacked her on the back of the head. He heard Bacon burst into a fit of giggles behind him.

"Ow! What was that for?" complained Grenda, rubbing her scalp. Dipper sauntered back over to his boulder, and took his seat before replying.

"Wendy is _in_ the palace," he said. "We want to rescue her, not flambé her."

"We're trying to shuffle her back _onto_ the mortal coil, as it were," said Bacon, laughter in his voice. "Your plan would most likely have a decidedly opposite effect on Dipper's lady love."

Grenda looked first at Dipper, then at Bacon, her face blank. "What?"

Fenris laid his head on his paws with a heavy sigh. _Moving along. Fire is a no go. Any other ideas?_

"Oh, oh! Yes!" cried Bacon, his eyes lighting up. "The wine cellar! We can sneak in through the wine cellar, find the girl, and sneak back out the same way… and maybe grab a few drinks for the road…"

Fenris whuffed softly. _No._

"What?!" screeched Bacon, his hands on his hips. "Why 'no'? Sneakin' in through the wine cellar's a damn fine idea!"

"Sorry, Pork Pie. I gotta go with Fenris on this one," said Dipper. "In our short history together, whenever you've obtained alcohol, someone's tried to kill me. So, yeah. That's a big ol' NOPE."

Bacon shoved his hands in his pockets and pouted. "Fine. Spoilsports."

 _Here's a thought,_ said Fenris. _Why don't we go in the front door?_

"Uh… because I don't think they're going to just let us in and let us take the Green Man's granddaughter," said Dipper. "Duh."

 _Duh yourself_ , said Fenris. _Do they know who you are? Are they expecting you?_

Dipper thought for a moment, before finally smacking himself in the forehead. "I'm an idiot."

Fenris opened his mouth wide in a doggie grin, and wagged his tail. _Why's that?_ he asked innocently.

"Wendy doesn't even know I'm a satyr," said Dipper. "Or a god on training wheels. She thinks I'm a regular mortal human—and regular mortal humans can't enter the Green. Therefore, she, nor any of her kidnappers would even think to expect me to launch a rescue mission."

 _I knew you'd figure it out_ , said Fenris, his thumping tail dusting the road. _Good boy._

Dipper shot Fenris a fake smile. "Thanks."

"So let me get this straight," said Grenda. "We just, what, go up and knock on the palace gates, and ask to come in?"

Fenris nodded. _Essentially. We beg the Green Man's hospitality, have dinner, case the palace as inconspicuously as possible until we find the girl, and then formulate our escape with her._

"So ye're saying… we get in, get the girl, and get gone?" asked Bacon, arching an eyebrow.

Fenris' ears went flat. _Oh… well, it's a little more nuanced than that… but yes._

Grenda laughed loudly. "It's funny because that was Dipper's original plan!"

Dipper grinned, put on a pair of neon green sunglasses that he'd just pulled out of nowhere, and popped his earbuds back in. As he began dancing his way back down the path into the valley, he turned and yelled to his companions. "What are you guys waiting for, an invitation from the Green Man? Come on, we have a princess to rescue!"

/

"Ugh, I hate being treated like a princess," Wendy muttered, low enough that only Bork, sitting on her shoulder, could hear her. The Green Guard was once again escorting her to the main hall of the Green Palace for dinner at the high board.

"Well, you kind of are one," whispered Bork pragmatically. "And until you and Master Cernunnos figure out a way to help Beithe escape her confinement, you have to act the part." He paused, admiring her outfit, and his handiwork on her hair. "At least you definitely look the part, if nothing else."

The corners of Wendy's mouth twitched upward. "I _am_ going to miss my fabulous brownie-made wardrobe once I leave." Her gown this evening was comprised of rich, forest green silk skirts, and a deep brown sleeveless corset bodice—this one lacing up the back. Her long, crimson locks were pinned up intricately above the nape of her neck, woven throughout with tiny, white flowers. Instead of her mother's necklace, she wore a delicate gold chain around her neck, from which hung a tiny golden pinecone.

Wendy and her guard neared the entrance to the Green Man's court, when a voice called out "I'll take her from here, men."

The guardsmen stood back against the wall as Cernunnos approached Wendy, and linked her arm in his.

"You look beautiful tonight, Wendy," he said.

"Yeah, I know," said Wendy simply. Bork giggled in her ear.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" asked Cernunnos softly. "I could help you escape right now, if you want."

"Dude, I told you already," said Wendy. "I'm not leaving without my mom. If pretending to be engaged to you buys us more time to figure out how to save her, then so be it."

Cernunnos stopped walking under the open archway leading into the hall, and turned Wendy to face him. He leaned in close, to whisper in her ear on the side that Bork was not occupying, his hot breath tickling her neck.

"Pretending… yes, that's the problem," he said softly. "The Green Man is, of course, aware that I am a god of lust and fertility. In order to convince him that the betrothal is sincere, you must be willing to…be affectionate with me. You must truly play the part of a smitten bride-to-be. Can you do that?"

Wendy blanched. "Affectionate how?" she breathed.

"I might kiss you…on the cheek, the mouth... the neck. I might hold your hand, or put my arm around you," said Cernunnos. "You must remember to not hit me or become angry if I do these things. You must…in order to be convincing…reciprocate."

Wendy took a deep, shuddering breath, and pulled away from Cernunnos, meeting his brown eyes with a level gaze. "If I start to freak out, I guess I can just close my eyes and pretend you're Dipper… you kind of look like an older version of him."

Cernunnos raised an eyebrow. "Dipper?"

"He's…he's my love," said Wendy, her cheeks flushing prettily.

"Very well," said Cernunnos, linking his arm back through Wendy's, and looking down at her as they began to walk forward into the hall. "If it will help you act convincingly besotted, pretend I am your Dipper. Try to think of how happy you'd be if he were in my place, and you were celebrating your engagement to him."

A huge grin split Wendy's face. She remembered Dipper's passionate kisses on Christmas eve—how he seemed to physically _need_ Wendy. She thought of the dream she'd awoken from this very morning—she'd been pregnant with Dipper's child, and incredibly happy and content. She couldn't wait to see him again, and tell him over and over how much she loved him.

"I think this is the first time I've seen you genuinely smile since you've been here," said Cernunnos quietly. "Your Dipper is a very lucky man."

As the pompously dressed dwarf at the front of the hall announced their arrival, Wendy smiled up at Cernunnos. "No," she said. "I'm the one who's lucky."

/

Gaining entrance to the Green Palace was ridiculously easy. The sentry standing guard asked them what business they had at the Green Palace, and Dipper explained that they were simply weary travelers, hoping for the Green Man's hospitality. The sentry nodded, and waved them inside.

"I almost feel cheated," said Dipper, as they made their way in the direction the sentry had indicated. "Like… it doesn't sound very impressive to say 'Hi Wendy! I'm here to rescue you! They let me in the front door!'"

Fenris sneezed. _Don't worry, I doubt the Green Man and his guard will be very willing to let you just waltz out the door with Wendy. You'll get to show off your sick fighting skills, bro._

Dipper furrowed his brow and glanced down at Bacon, who was still riding Fenris-back. "Is he mocking me? I think he might be mocking me… I can never tell, what with the whole voice-in-my-head thing."

Bacon held a hand over his heart. "What?! No! Fenris would never _dare_ use mockery or sarcasm against _anyone_!" He wiggled his eyebrows. "Especially not someone with such stylish shades."

Grenda raised her hand. "That was sarcasm?" she stated, questioningly.

Dipper sighed, and tapped his neon green sunglasses, poofing them out of existence. "Yes, Grenda. That was sarcasm."

Bacon gasped. "What?! Noooooo, I would _never_ —"

 _Wee man_ , interrupted Fenris. _I believe the horse is dead. You may stop beating it now._

Dipper chuckled, and muttered under his breath "Beating it…"

Bacon giggled, covering his face with his hands.

Grenda grumbled. "I don't understand what you guys think is so funny half the time."

Dipper and Bacon were still laughing as they approached the entrance to the great hall. A member of the Green Guard stationed near the door shushed them.

"Dinner is already underway," said the guard. "You may sit at this table near the door, and the brownies will be out to serve you momentarily."

Dipper and Grenda sat at the table, on sturdy wooden benches that grew up out of the floor. Bacon climbed up on the bench, and stood between the two. Fenris huffed, and flopped down on the floor. In seconds, several brownies were rushing around their table, filling their empty plates with various foods. A tiny female brownie hesitantly sat a dish containing what looked like raw, chopped meat in front of Fenris, before rushing away in a panic. The dog tucked in ravenously.

Bacon raised his empty goblet toward a brownie hefting a wooden jug. "That wouldn't happen to be beer or wine, would it, my good fellow?"

The brownie shook his head. "Sorry, that's only for them's up there," said the brownie, indicating toward the high board. "It's cider for you'uns down here."

Bacon looked at the amber liquid being poured into his glass, hopefully. "Hard cider?"

The brownie shook his head no, and moved on to fill Dipper's goblet.

"So that's the Green Man?" Dipper asked the brownie, squinting in the dim light to make out the man sitting on the throne carved into the massive oak tree. "Who're all those others up there with him?"

"Them's mostly the more powerful gods in these parts, and a few nature spirits." The brownie leaned toward Dipper, and whispered with a grin. "Me cousin's up there, with the Green Man's own granddaughter—as a friend, not a servant—can you believe that?!"

"His-his granddaughter?" Dipper's heart began to pound.

"Yes, indeed," said the brownie. "That's her right up there, on the Green Man's right. Look—you can see Bork (that's me cousin) riding up on her shoulder! You never did see such a thing…" the brownie chuckled to himself as he returned to his duties.

There she was—his Wendy. Her shining red hair was wound into a fancy updo, and the corset bodice of her silken gown accentuated all her curves. She was beautiful—radiant, even…

"She looks happy," whispered Dipper, his heart sinking. "Really happy…"

"Probably because she gets to drink wine," muttered Bacon.

Wendy was chatting animatedly with the diner sitting on her right: a handsome, shirtless man, with stag horns. He kept smiling at her, and leaning over to whisper in her ear. And touching her hand. Holding her hand. Kissing her cheek. Her neck. And she was smiling.

Dipper began to shake. He unconsciously started clenching and unclenching his fists. He was beginning to see red. He'd heard the term "seeing red" before, but never thought it could be a literal, physical reaction to rage. He was learning something new today.

 _Dipper, you've got your hackles up_ , said Fenris. _What's going on?_

Before Dipper could say anything, a loud voice rang out in the hall.

"Attention! Attention, please!" The Green Man stood in front of his throne, holding a goblet aloft. "I just want to be the first to share this happy news. It gives me great pleasure to announce to you the betrothal of my granddaughter, Wyn Dahlia Beithesdottir, to Cernunnos, Lord of the Hunt. I raise my glass in a toast to this well-suited couple. Come on now, you two, don't be shy! You're in love! Have a kiss!"

The horned man leaned in. Wendy stiffened for a moment, then closed her eyes with a smile, threw her arms around him, and kissed him.

Dipper stood from his seat. He glared at the horned man, and the Green Man. Dipper had never been a violent person, and it shocked him for a moment to realize that for the first time in his life, he wanted to kill someone in cold blood. As the two lovers broke apart, Dipper felt a heavy, metallic object appear in his hand.

 _Dipper, are you sure you want to do this?_ asked Fenris. _You are about to pick a fight with a god. An elder god. Until recently, you couldn't even conjure a sword._

Dipper smiled grimly, as he looked down at the razor-edged longsword he had just produced. "Well I can now," he said quietly.

Grenda saw the look on Dipper's face, and got up from the bench, and backed away from him. She grabbed the back of Bacon's shirt and pulled him with her. "Dipper, think. You know I love a good fight, but there are like twenty gods in this room. I didn't sign up for this."

"I don't mind if you sit this one out," said Dipper, his eyes flashing. "This is personal."

 _Well, this is unfortunate,_ sighed Fenris. _The Green Man already doesn't like me. I guess it's a good thing I don't care for him much, either._

"Fenris, you don't have to—" Dipper cut off when he glanced over at Fenris. Where once there had stood a shaggy, black dog, there now stood a sleek, black, horse-sized wolf.

"Is-is that your final form?" asked Dipper, momentarily distracted from his rage.

The wolf bared his teeth in a grin. _Not even close. And call me Fenrir, would you? I think it sounds more intimidating._

Dipper shrugged, and motioned for Fenrir to follow him. He made his way down the main aisle toward the high board, sword in hand. A shout came from the front of the room, as Fenrir's presence was noticed.

"Fenrir! How _dare_ you encroach on my realm," cried the Green Man. "You are not welcome here! I demand you leave at once!"

Fenrir cocked his head to the side. _Nah._ Without any warning, Fenrir lunged toward the Green Man, jaws snapping. The Green Guard rushed to protect their king, not even noticing the nimble satyr dodging around them, making his way up to the high board, where Wendy and Cernunnos stood, hand in hand.

Cernunnos noticed, however. "Wendy, get down!" he yelled, pushing her behind him. A bow and arrows materialized in his hands, and he nocked an arrow, aiming it at Dipper's chest. "Back off, satyr! I'm warning you. I am the Lord of the Hunt. I don't miss."

"I'm sorry Wendy," whispered Dipper, tears in his eyes. "I love you."

Dipper lower his head and ran at Cernunnos full tilt. He felt a shock reverberate through him, as an arrow pierced his chest. It barely slowed him, even as he felt warm blood seeping down over his skin. He raised his sword, and felt another shock as an arrow pierced his shoulder. He brought the sword down.

"NO!" screamed Wendy, jumping in front of Cernunnos. She covered her face, awaiting the blow that never came.

As soon as Wendy had jumped in front of the Lord of the Hunt, Dipper's sword simply dissolved into dust. Dipper's arms went limp, and he stared numbly at the floor. All the fight was gone from him.

"Get the satyr! He's attacking Wyn Dahlia!" cried the Green Man, over the screams and growls of Fenrir's fight.

Wendy dropped her hands to look at her "attacker." Blood was pouring from his two arrow wounds. He was dirty and disheveled, and he was sporting some five o'clock shadow. Yet, he looked familiar. Very familiar.

Two of the Green Guard ran over and roughly began to jerk the satyr away by his arms. His legs buckled. He finally looked up at Wendy. His face was pale, red-rimmed eyes brimming with tears. His eyes were a soft, warm brown. He looked even more like an older Dipper than Cernunnos—except, of course, that Dipper wasn't a satyr. Then she noticed it. On his loincloth. A simple blue pine tree. And under the mop of brown curls covering his forehead, she could see part of the unmistakable birthmark.

As Wendy's eyes went wide with recognition, Dipper smiled sadly. Then his eyes rolled back in his head, and he went completely limp.

/

"Um, Arden?" said Mabel, her hands in the air, "Do you think you could point that spear somewhere that's not at my face?"

Arden shook her head. "Not until you tell me why you were following me."

"Honestly?" said Pacifica, "Our curiosity about you was piqued when I caught you in a lie."

Arden frowned, and lowered her spear, planting the blunt end in the ground, and holding it like a walking stick. "What lie?"

"Well, you're _obviously_ not a foreign exchange student, like you claimed," said Pacifica. "And when we left the Mystery Shack together the other night, and you said you needed to get back to your host family's house in Gravity Falls, you went in the opposite direction of town."

"Plus," added Mabel, "You don't have a cell phone. That's just plain weird. Who—or what—are you?"

Arden sighed, and ignored Mabel's question. She looked at her feet. "I thought you were different. Especially you, Mabel. But you're just like all the other vapid technophiles that populate this sick planet." She turned away from them.

Mabel and Pacifica stepped forward, wanting to comfort Arden. They were curious about her, but they hadn't meant to hurt her. Before they reached her, however, they were swept up in a net that had been camouflaged by the forest floor. They screamed as they were swung up into the air.

"It has been so long since I have had like-minded friends. Since I've had a champion." Arden stared up at her ensnared would-be friends, her voice thick with regret. "I really thought—he told me you—" she cut herself of with a heavy sigh. "It doesn't matter. Maybe the Green Man is right. Our worlds have diverged too far apart to hope for reconciliation. Goodbye, Mabel and Pacifica." Arden walked into the dense forest, and was out of sight in seconds.

The net holding the two girls aloft creaked, as it swayed gently in the breeze.

Mabel sighed. "You know, up until she threatened me with a spear and trapped us in a net, I really liked her."

/

Whew… this one is my longest chapter yet. I'm really freaking tired, because it's like two in the morning, and I have to be up for work early, so I think I'm going to forgo doing individual shout-outs this time (except for FullMetalKhaos—he deserves one for putting up with my shenanigans).

Anyway, to everyone who has favorited, followed or reviewed me: Thank you SO very much. I love hearing from you and seeing what you think. Please let me know how I did with this chapter!

Xoxoxo Geeky


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

A gentle breeze rocked the net, as the branches supporting it creaked in the chill evening air. Mabel and Pacifica sat in their trap, shoulder to shoulder, shivering.

"Wanna play a game?" asked Mabel, through chattering teeth. Pacifica grunted, and hugged her knees closer to her body.

"I'll start," said Mabel, doing her best to remain her chipper self, despite the circumstances. "I spy with my little eye…something… green!"

Pacifica scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Pine needles."

"Wow, first guess! Good job!" said Mabel. "Let me try again. I spy with my little eye…something brow—"

"Branches," said Pacifica.

"Are you psychic?" whispered Mabel, her eyes wide.

"Mabel—there is nothing around us but branches and pine needles," said Pacifica, her tone haughty. "We're like, twenty-five or thirty feet in the air. There _is nothing_ else to spy."

"Okay, then," said Mabel. "How 'bout a word game?"

"No," said Pacifica, resting her forehead against her knees. "Mabel, nobody knows we're out here. We don't have any food or water. On top of that, it's freaking freezing out. Has it occurred to you that we could _die_ up here?"

Always one to look on the bright side, Mabel grinned slightly, her braces glinting in the moonlight filtering down through the treetops. "Well, at least we won't die alone!"

Pacifica groaned in frustration. "Why did I let you talk me into this? This is so stupid. As hot as your brother is now, I should just keep away from both of you—if we make it down from here alive, that is. You two are nothing but trouble. First a portal to other dimensions and a demon triangle, and now all this nonsense with gods and the 'Green Realm'…whatever the hell that is. I am so over this."

Mabel didn't say anything, but sniffled and wiped her cheek on the sleeve of her Grunkle's oversized trench coat.

"Are you—oh come on, Mabel," said Pacifica, sounding irritated and guilty at the same time. "You're not _crying_ are you?"

"No," lied Mabel, turning her face away from her friend.

"Ugh…look, I'm sorry, okay?" said Pacifica. "It's just, yeah, you've been in tough situations before, but think about it. Someone—be it your brother, one or both of your Grunkles, or even Wendy—has always rushed in to save the day, somehow. But now your Grunkles are gone, and Dipper and Wendy are in Narnia…or whatever. Who's going to save you this time?"

Mabel opened her mouth to speak, when she heard a familiar grunt coming from the forest floor. She looked down through the net and beamed. "Waddles!"

/

"This is preposterous! You have absolutely no claim on him! He's not even from your pantheon!" boomed a deep, male voice.

"According to my brother, he's not actually from your pantheon, either," said a smooth, husky female voice.

Dipper sat up, blinking. He was lying on a floral print sofa, in a darkened living room with which he was completely unfamiliar. There was a large television across the room. A cartoon flickered on the screen, but Dipper couldn't identify it. In any case, it was muted. Standing in the doorway, which presumably led outside, were two shadowy forms, arguing.

"Well—no… but a god from my pantheon is responsible for his ascendance!" claimed the male.

The female chuckled. "That may be so, Arawn, but his irresponsibility got the boy killed. He turned the boy into a god, and said 'off you go, have some adventures!' without divulging some fairly important details."

"Be that as it may," Arawn said, clearly irritated, "His soul belongs in Annwn. Not with you."

Their conversation was disconcerting, to say the least. Killed? His soul? Dipper looked down at himself, and had to stifle a yelp. He was transparent.

"Bluster and rave all you want, honey," said the female, sounding amused. "You know the rules of the Dead Realms are fairly flexible, and usually boil down to one thing. Finders. Keepers."

Arawn let loose a string of unintelligible language, which Dipper assumed included a lot of swearing. The female simply laughed, opened the door, and pushed him outside. Just before she shut the door in his face, he shouted "This isn't over!" She blew a raspberry in response.

The woman turned from the door, and saw that Dipper was awake. She smiled warmly at him. She had long, raven hair, and a tall, slender build. A shimmering black robe was draped over her graceful form. Her face was stunningly gorgeous—on the right side. The left side of her face appeared to be in a state of decay. The empty eye socket was especially alarming.

"Oh, hello!" she said brightly. "I'm Hel. You're called Dipper, right?"

Dipper nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a squeak came forth. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Am I dead?" he managed to ask.

Hel nodded. As she moved to sit on the opposite end of the sofa from Dipper, the smell of sickness and rotting wafted from her. "No doubt you have some questions," she said.

"Uh, yeah," said Dipper. "First—how am I dead? I thought gods were immortal!"

Hel rolled her eye and sighed. " _This_ is what I was talking about. Your mentor was very irresponsible to not tell you this: Gods are… mostly…immortal. They don't age (unless they want to look different), they don't succumb to mortal illnesses, and cannot be killed by mortal weapons. _But_ gods can be killed by other gods. Do you remember what brought you here?"

"You mean how—how I died?" asked Dipper. His heart sank. He did remember.

Hel nodded. "Fen told me to be on the lookout for a young, newly minted satyr-god. Said you'd probably be coming through soon, because you're ignorant and reckless. I'm assuming you fought another god, and lost?"

"Hold up—Fen? Do you mean Fenrir?" asked Dipper.

"Yes, the Great Wolf," confirmed Hel. "He's my brother."

"Oh," said Dipper.

Hel snapped her fingers impatiently. "Your death? How?"

Dipper looked at, or rather through, his hands. "I ran at the Lord of the Hunt. With a sword. He retaliated."

Hel tried to disguise her laugh as a cough. "With a _sword_ , you _ran_ at the god of hunters… who wields a _ranged_ weapon? What in Helheim made you do that?!"

"I did it…" Dipper felt his throat closing on the words. "I did it because his betrothal had just been announced. To _my_ girlfriend." He paused and took a deep breath. "I…I was willing to become a satyr—and a god—so I could enter the Green Realm and rescue her after she had been kidnapped. And when I finally found her, she was kissing some dude with antlers. She looked so happy to be getting engaged to him." Dipper clenched his jaw at the memory. The sight of Wendy so blissfully happy, as if she had completely forgotten about Christmas Eve, and about how much Dipper loved her, had skewed his judgement terribly. And now he was dead.

Hel was quiet for a moment, trying to process everything he'd said. "So you wanted to kill this god because your girlfriend cheated on you with him?" she asked, finally. "It doesn't sound like he's at fault."

Dipper felt his chest tighten. "Wendy would never cheat on me! At least…I thought…" he trailed off, utterly devastated. "She said she loved me."

Hel felt bad for the pitiful young satyr. In the short conversation she'd had with her brother about him, Fenrir had made it clear that the boy's intentions were pure, even if his methods were a little unorthodox. Fenrir had always been a good judge of character, and something about this new god had impressed him so much that he wanted Hel to give the boy a do-over.

"She may yet love you," said Hel softly. Dipper looked up, hopeful. "Please understand, this is conjecture on my part," she amended. "I do not know all the gods of your Celtic pantheon. However, I know that gods of fertility often have ways to…manipulate… their chosen lovers. You said this Lord of the Hunt had antlers? Those cheeky Celts always were fond of phallic symbolism…if he is indeed also a fertility god, your girlfriend might not have control over her actions in regards to him."

Dipper felt relief for a split second, because there was a chance Wendy still loved him. The relief was short-lived, however, as the reality of what Hel said set in. Then he felt sick. "So he might be…doing things to her…without her consent?" His vision began to take on a red tinge again.

Hel leaned forward and rested her hand on Dipper's. "Breathe. Please, try and calm yourself. As I said, it is possible—but it is also conjecture. Now listen to me Dipper. Are you paying attention?"

Dipper looked into Hel's good eye, and nodded.

"My brother has really taken a liking to you. Fenrir isn't easy to impress, but you've somehow managed to do so. It was on his instructions that I claimed your soul upon your death—because he wants me to grant you a second chance. I intend to." She paused when she saw the look of grim determination settle onto Dipper's features. "Promise me that you will use it wisely. Think before you act. And for gods' sake, learn how to use ranged weaponry. Running directly at a god whilst wielding only a short-ranged weapon is suicide. As you've discovered."

Dipper nodded fervently. "I promise. Thank you so much—"

Hel smiled. "Thank my brother. Oh, also, one more teensy thing, before I send you back into your body. If I do this for you, you must agree to grant me, at a time which is up to my discretion, one favor. Any favor I ask of you. Will you agree to that?"

"Yes, of course!" said Dipper. "Anything!"

"Very well," said Hel. She gripped his hands in hers, and bowed her head. Everything went black.

/

Waddles craned his chubby neck to stare up at the two girls hanging in a net above him. He oinked softly.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," muttered Pacifica, crossing her arms. "The pig?"

"Waddles, can you do the Lassie thing and go for help?" Mabel called down to him.

Waddles blinked his beady eyes at Mabel, then turned his head, and grunted softly.

"Are you sure?" asked a familiar voice, whose owner was still hidden in the trees.

Waddles grunted again, more insistently this time.

Arden stepped out of the forest, dressed once again in her jeans and flannel. There was no sign of her antlers either. She sighed, and knelt down, placing her hand on top of Waddles' head. "I am trusting you, my friend. I hope you are right." Pulling a small hatchet from her belt, Arden walked over to the base of the tree from which Mabel and Pacifica hung suspended, and cut the rope anchoring the net.

"Wait, we'll faAAAAAHHHHHH," cried Mabel, as the net, and its screaming contents dropped with a thud to the forest floor.

Mabel continued shrieking as she kicked and pulled at the net, trying to climb out from it. She didn't notice, until she had finally succeeded in escaping the web of rope, that Pacifica was laying completely still, in a crumpled heap, still tangled in the net.

"Pacifica?" she said softly, her breathing becoming more rapid. "Paz?!" She dropped to her knees, and tore the mess of rope off her friend. Pacifica's eyes were closed, her skin pale. A trickle of blood seeped from a gash on her temple, where she'd landed on a rock.

"No!" cried Mabel. She felt Pacifica's neck, picking up a faint pulse. Arden leaned against a tree trunk, her hands in her pockets. Mabel marched over to her, and poked her in the chest.

"Look what you did!" she cried, pointing to Pacifica. "We just wanted to know more about you! We didn't mean any harm! But _you_ ," spat Mabel, "you trapped us… didn't care if falling from that high might hurt us. You're a monster!" She reached up and smacked Arden's face as hard as she could.

Although a red handprint immediately formed on her cheek, Arden ignored the assault on her person. Her eyes flicked down to Pacifica's prone form, then over to Waddles. A small smile played on her lips. "You were right," she said, chuckling. "She will do just fine."

Mabel looked down at Waddles, who snorted and sniffed her foot. Her face was a mask of confusion. "What are you talking about? You know what, it doesn't matter. I have to get Paz to the hospital."

Arden shook her head and took her hands out of her pockets. "She will not need a hospital when I am done with her." She moved toward Pacifica, but Mabel stepped in front of her, fists clenched.

"No! I won't let you kill her!" she cried, tears forming in her eyes.

Arden cocked her head to the side. "Who said anything about killing her?"

Mabel blinked uncertainly. "Y-you did… you said she won't need a hospital when you're done with her!" Waddles oinked and nudged her leg reassuringly.

Arden broke out into a grin. "Did I not say it right? She will not be in need of a hospital because I am going to heal her."

"I… uh," said Mabel. " _Oh."_

Arden patted Mabel on the head, and stepped around her. Kneeling down next to Pacifica, she placed her hand over the gash on the side of the blonde's forehead. A soft golden glow emanated from under her palm, and when she removed her hand, both the gash, and its accompanying blood had disappeared. Pacifica blinked, and sat up slowly.

"Where are we?" she asked, yawning.

"We went for a hike, and when we sat down to rest, you got tired and fell asleep," said Arden, soothingly smoothing Pacifica's long blond hair with her hand.

Pacifica nodded sleepily. "Okay... can we go home now? I really want to go to bed."

"Waddles will lead you home. He knows the way," said Arden, her soft voice almost hypnotic. "Mabel and I wanted to hike a little further."

Pacifica yawned again, and stood up. "M'kay. Come on Waddles. Bye guys," she said, waving a hand at them.

Mabel watched, jaw agape, as her friend was swallowed up in the shadows of the surrounding trees.

"You see, Mabel? Pacifica is fine. She will not even remember falling—or seeing me in my goddess form," said Arden, with a wink.

"Who _are_ you?" asked Mabel, finally able to find her voice.

"Come, sit," said Arden, as she sat against the base of the large tree, and patted the ground next to her. Mabel sat, hugging her knees, and stared at the goddess, waiting.

"My name is Arduinna." She paused expectantly, but Mabel just gazed at her blankly. The goddess scowled. "Of course you wouldn't know who I am. No one does anymore."

"So…Arduinna… what kind of goddess are you?" asked Mabel. "Like, you represent something…or it represents you… mythology was never my strong suit."

"You may continue to call me Arden, if you'd like. I am The Huntress, and Protector of the Sacred Wild. That is why I have come to Gravity Falls. The realms have shifted, creating an unstable nexus point on the Gravnemeta. Until balance is restored, I must act as sentinel, lest your world be overwhelmed by beings intruding from the Otherworld."

When Arden finally paused for a breath, she noticed Mabel had gone slightly cross-eyed.

"Uhhh…I understood the words Huntress and Protector," the younger girl said finally. "But the rest of that… nope. It's too bad Dipper isn't here. He could probably translate for me."

"Yes, you've spoken a great deal about your brother," said Arden, smiling. "I, too, have a brother whom I care for deeply. But where is he? It sounds like you two are not often apart."

"Well, if I had known you were a goddess, I probably would have told you sooner," said Mabel. "He's in the Green Realm."

Arden raised her eyebrows in surprise. "But how is that possible? Humans may not enter the Green!"

Mabel sighed. "It's a long story. Basically, his girlfriend is part tree, and was kidnapped by some green dude, so in order to save her, Puck turned Dipper into part goat, part god, and off he went. Oh, and my friend, Grenda (she's part troll)—she went with him."

Arden's eyes widened. "Okay, two things… first: is this 'dude' that kidnapped the part tree girlfriend called the Green Man?" Mabel nodded.

"Oh dear," said Arden, chewing on a fingernail. "Second: did you say _Puck_ is here?" Mabel nodded again.

"Do you happen to know where I can find him?" asked Arden hopefully.

"Nope, sorry," said Mabel. "Not a freaking clue."

Arden sighed. "It was worth a shot."

The sat in silence for a moment, until Mabel spoke up. "Okay, we got kind of sidetracked talking about Dipper, but back to the Gravelmentos, and realms shifting and whatnot…"

" _Gravnemeta_ ," Arden corrected Mabel, giggling. "It means the sacred grove of Gravity Falls."

"Then why didn't you just say 'sacred grove of Gravity Falls'?" asked Mabel.

"Because it is called the Gravnemeta," said Arden simply.

"Right," said Mabel. "Moving along. When you say realms, do you mean, like, dimensions?"

Arden shook her head. "No. Dimensions are completely outside our reality. All the realms are in this same reality. They touch and overlap, and gods and some magical creatures can travel between different realms—but they are all in this dimension."

"Huh," said Mabel. "I think I understand. But what did you say about them shifting and having to protect the Grav-ne-meta?" she asked, slowing down to try and properly pronounce the last word.

Arden leaned her head back against the tree, and looked at the sliver of starry sky visible through the canopy of the forest. "Soap bubbles," she said finally.

"Uh, what?" said Mabel.

"The realms are like soap bubbles, all clustered together. Not all realms touch each other, but there is usually one common realm that is touched by all the others. The center bubble. That used to be the Green Realm, but there has been a shift—and the Mundane Realm has now become the center bubble. The other realms all meet, specifically, at the Gravnemeta. I am here to protect the Mundane Realm from hostile creatures that may try to enter from other realms."

"That makes…a kind of sense, I guess," said Mabel slowly. "But if you're here to guard the Gravnemeta, why have you been spending so much time at the Mystery Shack with us?"

Arden grinned. "I have a special place in my heart for pigs and boars. Your Waddles is a very smart pig. He noticed my presence in your woods, and called out to me. I explained to him the task I have been set, and he told me it sounded like I could use some help, and he knew just the person for the job. He told me he knew someone with a loyal nature, a kind heart, and a wild spirit—he said her name was Mabel."

Mabel blushed. "I know someone who's getting extra treats when I get home."

Arden rested a hand on Mabel's arm. "He was right about you. It is very clear that you are loyal, and protective of those you love. You are kind-hearted—but also very spirited. You are the perfect candidate to be anointed Priestess of Arduinna, and Champion of the Gravnemeta."

Mabel let out a nervous giggle. "Oh."

/

The aftermath of the brawl at the Green Man's court was chaotic. It took nearly all the Green Guard, and the Green Man himself to take Fenrir down. He was bound and muzzled with vines, and carried to the dungeon. The two guards tasked with hauling Dipper away were not sure what to do with his limp, lifeless body, so they just threw it into the dungeon along with Fenrir.

Upon recognizing Dipper, and then watching him bleed out right in front of her, Wendy collapsed, screaming and sobbing. Bork, who had jumped down from her shoulder and hidden under the table when the fight broke out, tried to console her, but her sobs were unintelligible, so he was not sure of the right thing to say. Clearly the satyr's attack had upset her, but he did not understand why she was so distraught. Fearing that Wendy was injured, Cernunnos picked her up and carried her back to her chambers. Her heartbroken wails echoed throughout the palace.

Grenda used the chaos of the situation to her advantage. Nobody noticed as she shoved a tiny, angry, bearded man into a backpack, and dragged it along behind her, following Cernunnos as he carried Wendy through the winding halls of the palace back to her rooms. Luckily, Wendy's screams of grief drowned out the muffled cursing coming from within the backpack.

Once she saw Cernunnos enter Wendy's chambers, Grenda was unsure of how to proceed. Dipper was better at this sort of thing.

"Dipper, you idiot," she sighed quietly. She heard the door to Wendy's rooms open, so she quickly hid behind a column. Cernunnos walked out, rubbing his cheek, which was decorated with a brand new, bright red, Wendy-hand-sized print.

Grenda grinned. "Alright, Wendy!" She watched Cernunnos until he was out of sight, and then tried to open Wendy's door. It was locked.

"Crap." Grenda unzipped the backpack about an inch, and whispered into it "Bacon, what do I do? How do I get in?"

"I dunno," said the clurichaun sourly. "Pretend ye're a maid or sommat."

Grenda shrugged, and zipped the backpack up again. She cleared her throat, and knocked on Wendy's door three times. Then, in a shrill, high pitched falsetto, she sang out "Housekeeping?"

A few seconds later, the door opened, but Grenda didn't see anyone, so she walked in. She tripped over Bork, and went down, nearly landing on the backpack.

"ARGH! TOO MANY SMALL PEOPLE!" she shouted, as she stood back up, her temper stretched to its limit.

"Gr-Grenda?!"

Wendy jumped from her bed upon hearing the familiar voice, and ran into her front room, where she tackled Grenda with a hug, and began sobbing into her shoulder.

Grenda winced, and looked questioningly down at the brownie she had tripped over. He just raised his eyebrows and shrugged. She awkwardly patted Wendy's back.

"There, there?" she said.

Wendy pulled away from Grenda, her eyes bloodshot, her face red and blotchy. "I-I just can't believe Dipper's gone," she said, her chin trembling, tears continuing to cascade from her eyes. The look he gave me just before he…" she sobbed into her hands. "He-he had to have seen me kiss Cernunnos. He died thinking I didn't love him anymore!"

Grenda stared at Wendy in shock. All she had seen was Dipper being dragged away to the dungeons.

A muffled screech came from the backpack. "Died?!"

Bork looked at Grenda, his eyes wide. "Your pack is shouting."

Grenda sighed and unzipped the pack. Bacon climbed out in a huff, his hair and beard disheveled.

"What's this about ' _died_ '?" he asked. "Dipper didn't go and get himself killed, did he? He's supposed to be a god!"

It was Wendy's turn to look shocked. "A god? Wha-how?" she asked, her voice shaking. "I mean, he looked different… like an older, satyr version of himself… but a _god_?"

"Yeah," said Grenda. "A god. When you got kidnapped, he got himself changed into Puck's, um, intern, I guess? So he could get into the Green Realm to rescue you."

"So… maybe he's not really dead, then?" said Wendy hopefully. She leaned down to Bork. "Please go to the dungeons and check on him… and tend his wounds…if he's alive."

Bork nodded, and rushed from the room.

Wendy sank down onto a carved wooden bench, her hand shaking. She didn't want to let herself feel any hope, because she knew she'd be all the more crushed if Dipper really did turn out to be dead.

Bacon wandered around the room, looking at the fancy furnishings. He was acting more annoyed at Dipper than upset.

Grenda unstrapped her maul and set it aside, so that she could join Wendy on the bench.

"So, what do we do if he's not dead?" asked Grenda.

"The satyr that attacked us is most definitely dead," said Cernunnos, as he strolled into the room. "I came to check on you, Wendy. You gave us all quite a scare. Who are your friends?"

Wendy ignored the question. "He's a god—gods are immortal, right? So he couldn't have died."

Cernunnos raised an eyebrow. "He's not a god I've ever met before. Even still, gods are immortal, with the exception that they can be killed by other gods. My aim was true. He is dead."

Wendy doubled over, her sobs beginning anew. Grenda shot Cernunnos a dirty look, and scooted over on the bench to put an arm around Wendy's shoulders.

"Nice one, jackass," spat Bacon.

Cernunnos looked bewildered. "I—I don't understand your grief, Wendy. The satyr was attacking us. I even gave him fair warning. Why are you behaving this way?"

"B-because tha-that was Dipper!" Wendy managed to force out between sobs. "H-he was coming t-to rescue me…heard our f-fake be-betrothal…sa-saw us kiss…" She couldn't force any more words out. She pressed her fist against her mouth, her whole body shaking.

Cernunnos blanched. "I don't know what to say," he said softly. "I had no way of knowing…" He crouched down in front of Wendy, and placed a hand on her knee. "I am so so—"

Wendy cut off his apology with a shriek of "Don't you _fucking_ touch me!" as she shoved him away, and jumped up, running into her bedchamber, and slamming the door shut behind her.

Grenda held her head in her hands. "So… what now?" she asked nobody in particular.

"I don't know about you," said Bacon seriously, "but I could really, _really_ use a drink."

/

Dipper gasped, filling his empty lungs to capacity. He blinked, trying to clear his vision. He was laying on a straw pallet in a dim, damp, stone room. He sat up, and immediately regretted it.

"Owww," he groaned, clutching his head. "Being dead was less painful than this."

 _If you're not happy here, I can arrange to have you sent back to Hel._

Dipper, jumped. He looked around the room. Fenrir had reverted back to Fenris. The shaggy black dog was laying in the corner on a pile of vines. When Dipper made eye contact with him, he opened his mouth wide in a doggie grin, and thumped his tail happily on the floor.

"Funny guy," said Dipper, rolling his eyes. "But seriously, thanks for the safety net there, buddy. I was, uh, not aware that gods can be killed by other gods."

 _Yeah, I figured that out right about the time you started running at Cernunnos with a sword in your hand. You're lucky I have my sister on speed dial._

Dipper nodded, then glanced down at the deep holes in his shoulder and chest. "Oh, ew… I can see a bit of my insides," he said with a grimace.

 _Luckily, gods are quick healers. Slap a bandage on those, and in a week they'll be nothing more than cool scars to show off to your girlfriend._

"If I even still have a girlfriend, I doubt she'd be interested in these scars," remarked Dipper. "Seeing as, you know, she saw me get them."

 _So you are concerned about your Wendy's betrothal, I take it?_

Dipper frowned. "You could say that. Either Wendy is actually happy here, and wants to marry him, or he has her brainwashed and is taking advantage of her. I'm not particularly happy with either option."

"What if there was a third option?" a small voice spoke up.

Dipper looked around frantically. "Who?"

"Over here," said the brownie. He was pulling himself carefully through the bars on the door.

Fenris walked over to the brownie, and gave him a good sniff. _This one was the one at the table with your Wendy_.

"My name is Bork," said the brownie, pulling a bottle of salve and some cloth bandages out of his pocket. "Wendy thought she watched you die, but she sent me down to tend your wounds, just in case she was wrong."

"I did die," said Dipper. Bork frowned and raised an eyebrow. "Well…I got better," Dipper mumbled.

"Lie back," instructed the brownie, and he began bandaging the young satyr.

"So, this third option you mentioned," said Dipper, wincing slightly as the salve stung his wounds. "I'm interested in hearing what it is."

"Wendy is neither brainwashed by Master Cernunnos, nor is she in love with him. The betrothal is a sham," explained Bork.

Dipper's heart leapt. "But _why_?" he asked.

Bork sighed. "It is a bit of a long story, and not mine to tell—but I will give you the quick version. Wendy discovered that her mother has been trapped here, in her tree form, for the past six years. Cernunnos was going to help Wendy escape, but now she refuses to go without her mother. The problem is that we do not know how to break Wendy's mother free of her tree form, which the Green Man has used to imprison her." He leaned back, and patted Dipper's finished bandages. "All set."

Dipper sat back up. "So…if that's the case… what now?"

 _Perhaps Bork could relay a message from you to Wendy. Something along the lines of "Hi, honey. I'm not dead."_

Dipper nodded his head. "But _maybe_ a bit more detailed than that. Bork, if I write Wendy a letter, will you take it to her?"

"Of course!"

Dipper instantly conjured a pen and some paper. He found a flat surface, and began to write.

Dear Wendy,

So, I have a lot of explaining to do…

/

 **This story is really fun to write! I hope everyone is having just as much fun reading it. XD**

 **Shoutouts!**

 **First, FullMetalKhaos, because he says he's my biggest fan, and I believe it. (Check out his WenDip saga Gravity Falls: Written in the Stars…it starts to get pretty steamy in the later chapters!)**

 **Also to TGGDSD, who has just started writing a new WenDip called A Spark of Hope. It has a lot of potential, and I think it is going to end up being an awesome fic.**

 **Finally, all you reviewers—you have no idea how much receiving your reviews just makes my day. I hope you will continue to let me know what you think!**

 **Thank you to fereality, Guest, Dexay, LimboticMistisos, TGGDSD, arcaneboss, scroghmc, and pittbuck.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Dear Wendy,

So, I have a lot of explaining to do. Uh, where to start? There's a lot to fill you in on. First though, let me say this: I miss you so much it hurts. When you were kidnapped into the Green Realm, I had no clue what was going on…all I knew was that you were gone, and you took a part of me with you. I know that's really cheesy, but you already know I'm a dork, so why bother trying to be anything else, right? But seriously, I had _finally_ gotten the girl of my dreams, and then those tree-looking assholes show up and are basically like: "Nope!" I did not appreciate that. I intend to write a strongly worded letter to their supervisor.

Sorry, I'm kind of doing a stream of consciousness writing thing, and my consciousness tends to be a bit sillier and more ADHDish than normal now that I'm… Sorry, getting ahead of myself. I want to try to do this in order.

Did you know Tad Strange is a god? I found that out the day after you were kidnapped. Yeah, _WTF_ is right. Don't deny it, I know that was your first thought. Turns out the most normal guy in Gravity Falls is actually not even human. He's Puck/Pan/Robin Goodfellow… apparently he has a lot of different names. And he's like, on vacation from being a god or something. Likes to watch television. He's kind of a jackass.

Well, I suppose he's not _that_ bad. I mean, if it wasn't for him, I would still be in Gravity Falls, having a nervous breakdown. Thanks to him, I was able to come into the Green and find you. Of course, he turned me into half a goat for that to be able to happen. And a god. Sort of. I have, like, powers and stuff now. Which is cool. But apparently the goat legs and horns are kind of permanent. Oh… also, I'm physically seventeen years old now. I don't know how good of a look at me you got before I died, but I can grow _facial hair_ now!

Oh, and the dying thing… heh… yeah, I'm kind of embarrassed about that. Your little friend explained that you aren't really with antler dude—that you were just pretending to get engaged to buy time until you figure out how to rescue your mom. You found your mom! Holy crap, that's amazing! But yeah, back to the dying thing. I'm really sorry you had to see that. I was not aware that gods can kill other gods. I am now aware. Luckily I've made some influential friends since I've been in the Green, so I was given a do-over.

Sorry I went all jealousy kamikaze on your… guy with the antlers. I mean, dude did have his tongue halfway down your throat. It was a public service, what I did, stopping that kiss. No one needed to see that. Sorry. Jealousy again. I wish it was me kissing you like that. Okay, maybe less sloppy than that. I'm fully willing to demonstrate the type of kiss of which I speak when I finally see you again. If… that is to say… if you _want_ to see me again.

Listen, not to get all serious on you, but I hope you're still into me...and still want to be my girlfriend. Because I look a lot different now, I sound different… hell, my attitude and demeanor have begun changing. I guess you don't become a trickster god and stay the same old boring person you always were. Right now, for instance, I'm having a hard time suppressing urge to a) make silly, stupid puns; or b) talk about how much I need to be with you physically. Incidentally, did you know that satyrs represent, among other things, fertility and virility? Also, I now have the hormones of a seventeen year old. If I get too handsy when I finally see you, just smack me. I can take it.

Well, this letter has been super long, and I'm not sure I really succeeded in explaining anything to you. But your tiny friend is getting impatient with me. He keeps sighing and huffing. It's adorable. OH! I almost forgot—Grenda's here somewhere. She may, or may not have with her a surly, little bearded man who constantly talks about drinking. If you run into her (or them, I guess) try to help her out and make sure she's safe, okay? She's watched my back the whole way here, and I think I understand now why Mabel keeps her around. She's alright.

Please write back, or come visit me in the dungeon, or something. I need to know you don't hate me for getting myself killed right in front of you.

I love you.

Dipper

/

Wendy sat on her bed, her eyes bloodshot, and her hands shaking so badly that she had to set the letter down for fear of ripping it. He wasn't dead. He _had_ been, but wasn't anymore.

"Wendy?" called Grenda, through the closed antechamber door, "Are you okay?"

Wendy sniffed and wiped her eyes. She was a mess, but she was better than she'd been at any previous point in the day.

"I'm okay, Grenda," she called out. "You guys can come in here if you want."

The door opened, and Grenda walked in, Bork riding on top of her head. Bacon followed at her heels, with a sullen Cernunnos bringing up the rear.

"So," said Grenda. "Spill it. Was he really dead or what?"

Wendy nodded. "Apparently he's made some friends in high (or… low, I guess) places, because whatever god of the dead it was who collected his soul has allowed him a second chance."

Bacon grinned. "Good old Fenris," he said. "It does come in handy to be friends with the brother of Hel."

Cernunnos frowned. "That god-killer does not belong here. Isn't he supposed to be bound up in chains somewhere so he doesn't destroy the world?"

Bacon laughed and smacked his thigh. "How should I know? Do I look Norse to you?"

"Well, you—you were travelling with him," spluttered Cernunnos. "Don't you bother to get to know your travelling companions?"

"Hey Grenda, what's my name, first and last?"

"Bacon…Ostrich?"

Bacon patted Grenda's leg, and turned back to Cernunnos. "There's your answer. If you're still confused—that's not actually my name."

"But you said it was!" said Grenda, confused.

Bacon sighed. "It's close enough, darlin'."

"Ahem," coughed Wendy. "Cernunnos, you sound upset that my boyfriend, who _you_ killed, isn't dead."

"I—ah," Cernunnos sighed. "I just feel like it's cheating. I killed him fair and square. Being Lord of the Hunt, and all, I'm not particularly used to my prey resurrecting."

Wendy narrowed her eyes at the antlered man. "I've got three words for you, dude: Deal. With. It."

"Remember, Master Cernunnos, you gave up all claim to Wendy when she told you she loved another," spoke Bork from his perch atop Grenda's head.

"The wee man has it right," said Bacon. "Sounds like you were gettin' used to the idea that her boyfriend was dead, which made her 'fair game.' Could it be that the horny god got his hopes up?"

"Dude, not cool," said Grenda, as she crossed her arms and cracked her knuckles.

"It isn't like that!" protested Cernunnos. "If I had known who he was, I would never have killed him… even if he _did_ look intent on killing me. And although I do not approve of his resurrection, I will nonetheless still abide by what I said when first I learned of him. I was… overenthusiastic before, Wendy. I never meant to try and force myself on you."

Wendy scowled. "I still don't know if I believe you, but my mom seems to trust you—or at least she trusted the _old_ you… and you seemed genuinely surprised when you found out that the Green Man is actually a pretty nasty dude." She glared at Cernunnos, her green eyes fierce. "If you say you're going to help us escape with my mother, I will put up with you. But if you so much as _look_ at my boyfriend the wrong way, I will gut you like a fish. Even if it was an accident or misunderstanding, I will never forget that you sexually assaulted me, and fucking killed my boyfriend right in front of me."

Cernunnos blanched, and nodded. He was used to women fawning over him, and had no experience at all with women who could not stand him. He had certainly never had a woman threaten him with bodily harm. He would not admit it, but he was actually fairly jealous of Dipper. Wendy was a spitfire.

Wendy sighed, and picked up the letter again. As she reread the last few lines, her stomach did flip-flops. She needed to see him, and soon.

"Bork, do you think there is any chance I'd be able to get down to the dungeons to see Dipper?" she asked.

The brownie shook his head. "I doubt anyone but the Green Man himself would be allowed down there—not because of Dipper, but on account of the dog. The only reason I was able to get to him is because there are passages in the walls that only us brownies know about."

"The—the dog?" asked Wendy, raising her brow. "Don't you mean the huge wolf?"

Bork shrugged. "He may have been a wolf earlier, but when I saw him in the cell, he was a dog. He was small enough to get out of the vines that bound him. He didn't seem particularly vicious, though."

Grenda's face split into a grin. "Fenris is a good dog," she said to no one in particular.

"Well, if I can't get down to see him, could you find me something to write with, and then take him a letter for me?" Wendy asked. "Please?"

"No problem," said the brownie, with a proud grin.

/

Dipper,

I have so much going on in my head right now that I don't know what to say. You followed me to another world to try and save me. Got yourself turned into a god/goat thing. It's overwhelming—but not in a bad way—don't think that!

I knew you cared for me, but I guess I didn't know how deeply you cared. I mean, Christmas Eve was amazing (up until the point I got kidnapped), but it was also really _physical_. And do _not_ get me wrong, I enjoyed every second of it. Like, I think we should do a reenactment when we finally get home. But I guess I didn't realize the reason it was so intense isn't because you just wanted my body—you wanted _me_. Wendy Corduroy. The person. You know I've dated guys before you. I never let things get very far with any of them, because I felt like all they wanted was my body, and my face… but not _me_. You're different.

As far as whether or not I'll still want you, now that you've had some adjustments and enhancements? Don't be a dork. Yeah, you have a serious case of Gomper's ass, but I can learn to live with that. And as for the rest of you…well, what I could see that wasn't covered in dirt or blood, at least… I was attracted to you before, but damn, Dip. You grew up into a hottie. And hell, I'm part tree, dude. We're, like, made for each other, right?

The dying thing. Don't do it again, okay? That was a pretty dumbass move, running at Cernunnos like that. And when I realized who you were, and that you were dead… I kind of mentally shattered. The thought that you had come so far to find me, and then saw me kissing someone else… and that being the last thing you saw…that you died thinking I didn't love you… Dammit, I'm crying right now thinking about it again. Just—no more dying. It's not allowed. That's a rule now.

Bork told me he explained the whole fake betrothal thing to you. Believe me, I wish it wasn't necessary, but until we can figure out a way to de-tree my mom, I have to pretend that I'm happily engaged to him. I told him no more kissing, though. If he tries it again I'll bite his tongue.

Now, on top of the un-birchening of my mother, we have to try and get you and your dog out of the dungeon. Your small, surly friend, Bacon, says you're both gods—do god magic and get out. I don't know how any of that works. He also says maybe your god magic can help my mom? Grenda says hi. And to pet the dog for her. Cernunnos says sorry for killing you.

Well, my hand is cramping up from all this writing, so I'm going to go. Just remember—I love you, goat ass and all.

Love,

Wendy

/

Bork and Fenris looked on as Dipper re-read Wendy's letter for the third time. He leaned his head back against the cold, stone wall, and closed his eyes; a single tear clearing a path through the layers of grime on his face.

Fenris pawed at Dipper's leg. _Well, don't keep me in suspense—what did she say?_

"She said she still loves me, even if I do have a goat's ass," said Dipper, with a watery chuckle. "And that I'm not allowed to get killed again."

 _That's a good rule. I think you should listen to her._

"Yeah, I plan on it. No offense—your sister was lovely—but I don't fancy visiting her again any time soon," said Dipper. "Oh, also, Grenda wants me to pet you for her." He reached his hand out and laughed as Fenris backed away.

 _I'm not sure your troll-kin friend understands that I am not just_ any _dog._

Dipper shrugged. "So you don't want me to scratch behind your ears, then?"

Fenris wagged his tail slowly, sweeping dust across the dungeon floor. _Uh, actually… now that you mention it… there is a spot behind my left ear that I just can't seem to reach._

Dipper grinned and shook his head. "Come here, Fido." He scratched the spot that Fenris had indicated.

Fenris' tongue lolled out the side of his mouth, and one of his hind legs began involuntarily thumping the ground. _Oh yeah, right there… that's the spot._

Dipper retracted his hand. "Dude. You're making it weird."

Fenris pounced on Dipper, putting his two front paws on Dipper's shoulders, and gave his cheek a single, sloppy lick. _No,_ that _made it weird._

"Yuck," said Dipper, wiping dog slobber off his cheek. "You know, you're acting quite a bit less stoic than you were when you first started talking in my head."

 _Yeah. Sorry if it's weirding you out. The longer I stay in the form of a particular creature, the more like that creature I start to behave. I've been masquerading as a dog for a while now… except for during our little fight earlier. Dogs, it turns out, are silly creatures._

Dipper smiled. "Mabel would love you."

 _She's your sister, yeah?_

"Ahem." Bork stood next to the door, his arms folded across his chest. "It is nearing midnight, and Wendy needs her sleep, whether she admits it or not. I know she will not go to bed without hearing back from you, so would you kindly write her a note? I'd like be on my way."

"Oh, yeah, totally," said Dipper, conjuring another piece of paper and pen. "Sorry, little man."

Bork huffed and looked down, smiling to himself. He liked Wendy and her friends. They treated him like a person.

After a few minutes, Dipper handed Bork the folded piece of paper.

"Tell her I said to sleep well," he said to the brownie, who saluted him, and squeezed back through the bars in the cell door.

Dipper yawned, and rubbed his eyes. "We should probably get some shut-eye too. I'm going to try and magic up a sleeping bag… Do you want me to make you, like, a dog bed or something?"

 _No thanks. I don't require much sleep. You get some rest, though._

"'Kay," said Dipper, sliding himself into the plush, goose-down filled mummy bag that had appeared before him. "I'm getting good at this magic stuff," he mumbled to himself, as he drifted off to sleep.

/

Dear Wendy,

Of course I want all of you. You're smart, strong, funny, the coolest person I know, a great listener, generous, kind, and you make some kick-ass homemade pizza. The fact that you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, _and_ an amazing kisser is just icing on the cake. The very sexy cake. Above all else, though—you're my best friend. I can't _not_ have you in my life. I love you more than Mabel loves glitter. (That's a whole fucking lot).

Now onto the last bit of your letter: you said Bacon suggested I use god magic to get out of the dungeon, as well as to try and free your mother. It's true that I do have powers now, and they seem to be growing stronger every day… But I'm gonna be straight up with you. I really have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Only a day ago was I able to actually start conjuring things successfully, and it still doesn't always work quite right. I've only done one glamour to date, although it was pretty funny. I turned a troll into a pretty princess. Remind me to tell you that story sometime.

Basically, what I'm saying, is I don't know if my magic will be able to help. I'm not sure what I could do. I'm going to sleep on it—try and think outside the box, and maybe come up with an idea or plan of some kind. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until Bork reminded me that it's close to midnight. I got a bit disoriented, what with travelling to Helheim and back. 

Don't worry about writing me back tonight. You've had a rough day, and should get some rest. Just send Bork back down with a reply tomorrow morning. Tell Grenda I petted Fenris for her. And as always—I love you, Wendy.

Love,

Dipper

/

Wendy smiled so wide while reading the first paragraph of Dipper's reply that her cheeks started to ache.

"Now that you've heard back, will you try and get some sleep?" asked Bork.

His question was nearly drowned out by Grenda and Bacon snoring a throaty duet. Grenda had fallen asleep on the end of Wendy's big bed, while Bacon was passed out, curled up like a cat, in an overstuffed chair in the corner. Cernunnos had retreated to his rooms, promising to rejoin them on the morrow.

"Fine," said Wendy, stretching luxuriously and yawning. "Morning can't come soon enough."

/

Dipper tossed and turned throughout the night. His dreams were a jumble of vivid images.

Hel and Wendy sitting at a card table playing a game of Battleship. Mabel riding a hippopotamus-sized Waddles, careening through the woods at a gallop. Fenrir leaping at the Green Man. Two hands, bound in green ribbon. Bacon grinning, toasting with a mug of ale. Dipper looking in a mirror, seeing himself as a human. A swarm of insects rising out of the forest. Fenris chasing his tail. Tad Strange pointing and laughing. The wooden palace, rotting from the inside out.

Dipper sat up, suddenly wide awake. Grinning maniacally, he rubbed his hands together.

Fenris twitched an ear back. _You're up earlier than I expected. What's up?_

"I know," said Dipper, chuckling. "I know how I'm going to get us out of here, _and_ save Wendy's mom."

/

 **Well, that's another chapter down. I hope everyone reading this is enjoying it. You all are awesome!**

 **Shoutout to FullMetalKhaos because he's awesome, and to TGGDSD because he always keeps it classy. Both write some stellar Wendip.**

 **Thanks so much to all my reviewers—you all make this labor of love worth it: Dexay, pittbuck, a couple Guests XD, RebelCrow, NovelDrew, fereality, TGGDSD, LimboticMistisos, scroghmc, Megaprimo1, and ookami738.**

 **See you next chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Dear Dipper,

I can't sleep. Believe me, I've tried. Bork said he wouldn't deliver my reply to you until morning anyway, because he wants me to rest… but every part of me feels electric. Like—you're here. You're alive. You love me. You're literally in the same building as me. If I thought I could sneak past the Green Guard, I'd be down there right now.

I don't claim to understand how life or death work, but I swear we must have been lovers in a past life. That's the only way that I can comprehend how the mere thought of you sets every one of my nerves to singing. Oh, and if that's not enough—you know how each dryad has a tree they represent? Think of it like a soul tree. Yeah, mine is a Sugar Pine. I guess that makes you my Sugar, Pines. (Bwahahaha! That was awful, sorry!)

I hope you're able to figure out your magic stuff soon, dude. I miss your face. And this pretty princess troll glamour you did? Yeah, that is a story I _definitely_ need to hear.

I love you,

Wendy

/

Dipper grinned like an idiot. Wendy's soul tree was a sugar pine. And that pun!

 _What'd she say this time?_ asked Fenris. _You look… funny._

"Your mom looks funny," muttered Dipper.

 _You have no idea how accurate that statement is._

"I…should probably study more mythology," said Dipper. Fenris nodded.

"Anyway, she didn't really say anything that you'd be interested in," said Dipper with a shrug. "She mostly just talked about how awesome I am."

 _You're right, I wouldn't be interested in that._

"Do you have a reply for my mistress?" asked Bork, from the corner of the room.

"Oh, yeah, man," said Dipper. "Sorry, Bork—you're so quiet and little, I sometimes forget you're here. I don't mean to overlook you!"

Bork smiled sadly. "We brownies are actually employed here _because_ we are so easy to overlook. To those who live here, we become part of the background." He sighed. "They prefer it that way."

"Well, we'll make sure you don't get overlooked when we get home," promised Dipper.

"Home?" asked Bork, confused.

"You're coming with us, dude. You're a friend of Wendy's. Plus, with all the help you've given us, I don't want to leave you behind and have you get in trouble on account of us." Dipper paused, taking in the brownie's trembling lower lip. "I mean, we won't kidnap you, or anything, if you really don't want to come… I just assumed…"

"You want me to come home with you?" asked Bork, wiping away a tear that had slipped down his cheek. "As…as a friend? Not as a servant?"

Dipper nodded, befuddled by Bork's tears.

"Wendy, and now you, have shown me more kindness in the past week than I've known in my entire life," said Bork, his voice quavering. "I…I would love to go home with you."

Dipper grinned, as he conjured himself a pen and paper to write his reply to Wendy. "Glad to hear it, little man."

 _Ahem._

Dipper looked up from his writing. "What, Fenris?"

 _Aren't you going to ask your favorite four-legged friend if he would like to accompany you to your home, as well?_

"Dude, you're a god. I figured you just go wherever you feel like," said Dipper, looking back down and continuing to write.

 _Well, yeah. But it's still nice to be_ invited.

Dipper sighed and looked back up at Fenris, who was giving his best puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, good grief. Fenris, would you like to come home with us, too?" he asked.

Fenris flicked an ear back, and yawned lazily. _I'll think about it._

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Right then. Now shut up so I can get this written. The sooner everyone is on the same page, the sooner I can put my plan into place and get us out of here."

/

Dear Wendy,

That Sugar Pines pun? It was so bad it hurt—but never apologize for a bad pun! That's the _best_ kind of pun. If a pun makes people physically cringe, you're doing it right. You're awesome. _Pun_ derful, even! (Ha!).

I'm going to keep this note short, because I had my brilliant epiphany overnight, and I need to write a separate letter to your dear grandfather, which I'd like you to deliver to him as soon as possible.

Basically, I'm going to threaten that bad things will happen to him if he refuses to let us and your mother go. I can't tell you what bad things, because I want you to have plausible deniability. But rest assured, I'm not bluffing.

I hope that my plan works, and I can get us out of this. I need to see you again, and hold you. Because Wendy, you are worth all this. I'd do anything for you.

I love you and will hopefully be seeing you soon!

Dipper

/

Wendy stared down thoughtfully at the folded note clutched in Bork's outstretched hand. She reached forward and plucked it from his grasp, smiling at Dipper's messy scrawl on the outside of the note.

 **To: The Green Man**

 **From: The New God in Town**

"Dipper has a plan," she said softly to Grenda and Bacon, who were waiting to hear about the contents of the missive from her boyfriend that she had just finished reading. "He's threatening to do something bad to the Green Man if he won't let us go… but he won't tell me what. Plausible deniability, he says."

"That makes sense," said Bacon. "He doesn't want ye complicit in the plan, just in case things take a spin in the wrong direction and he does naught but piss yer granddaddy off."

Grenda looked sideways at Bacon. "Are you even speaking English?"

Bacon grinned. "Too many big words, darlin'?"

Grenda punched the clurichaun in the shoulder. "Shut up."

"Ow!" Bacon screeched. He rubbed his shoulder tenderly. "That's gonna leave a bruise."

A sharp knock at Wendy's chamber door made the group jump. Before Bork could reach it, the door creaked open and Cernunnos popped his head in.

"Good morning, all," he said, nodding curtly. "Wendy, may I have a private word?"

"Actually, I was getting ready to head to the main court, if you want to walk with me," said Wendy, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles in the skirt of her emerald colored velvet gown. "I have a delivery for gramps, courtesy of Dipper."

As she stepped toward the door, she felt a tug at her skirt. She smiled down at Bork. "You better stay here with Grenda and Bacon, buddy. I have a feeling the Green Man is not going to be happy with whatever is in this note, and I know you're not fond of him even when he's in a good mood."

"This is true," commented Bork, as he stepped back so that Wendy could get past him.

Just as she reached the doorway, she paused and turned to her friends, her confident smile wavering slightly.

"I don't plan to be gone too long. If I'm gone more than a couple hours, assume that to be a bad thing, and leave." Grenda opened her mouth to protest, but Wendy cut her off. "No, I'm serious. Bork, take them out a back way, and get somewhere safe. All _three_ you," she added, looking Bork directly in the eye. "No heroics. I mean it."

Three heads sullenly nodded in agreement. Wendy smiled, and fluttered her fingers at them, as she pulled the door shut behind her.

As soon as he was sure Wendy was out of earshot, Bacon grinned, and with his fists on his hips, said, "So, uh, not to jinx her or anything, but if she's not back in two hours…yes, heroics?"

Bork nodded, a rebellious gleam in his eyes.

Grenda chuckled. "Definitely."

/

"You said you wanted a private word?" encouraged Wendy, as she walked through the winding corridors of the palace side-by-side with Cernunnos, who seemed lost in thought.

"Oh, yes," the antlered god nodded. "But first—have you read the note you're about to deliver to the Green Man?"

"No," said Wendy. "Dipper doesn't want me to know his plan, in case it backfires or something, I guess."

"I see," said Cernunnos. "May I read it before we deliver it? I would like to know if Dipper has outed the fact that you and I are not really a couple, so I can prepare for the level of wrath your boyfriend would bring upon us."

Wendy stopped in her tracks, her arms crossed. "Dude, what's with the hostility? You say you're on our side, but you keep giving me weird vibes."

Cernunnos turned to face her, his cheeks flushed. "You won't like what I have to say, but please hear me out without interruption. Will you give me that, at least?"

"Sure, why not?" said Wendy testily, her eyes narrowed.

Cernunnos took a deep breath. "I don't like the company your boyfriend keeps. Not the two in your rooms, they're fine. Well, the girl is. That clurichaun seems…off, somehow." He shook his head. "But I'm getting sidetracked. I'm talking about Fenrir. The great wolf. He should not be in the Green Realm. He is not even in our pantheon. And he is a god killer."

Wendy snorted, and arched an eyebrow at Cernunnos, but kept her mouth closed.

"Yes, I'm aware of the irony of that statement," said the god wryly, "but he is prophesied to actually bring about the apocalypse. I don't know how or why he would have joined forces with Dipper, but he is bad news. The fact that he seems so loyal to your boyfriend makes me question your boyfriend's motives, intentions, and character."

Wendy stared at Cernunnos, her arms still crossed, and her face blank. He stared back.

"Oh, sorry, am I allowed to talk now?" she asked, her tone biting. Cernunnos nodded, his mouth a thin line.

"Frankly," spat Wendy, "after you nearly raped me, I find it hilarious that _you_ would question my boyfriend's motives, intentions, and character. Not in the 'ha ha' sense, of course. More like I think you're ridiculous and hypocritical as all hell, and it's hilarious that you think _you_ are on the moral high ground here. Because you are _so not_."

Cernunnos opened his mouth, but Wendy shushed him.

"No sir, you shut your mouth. You are going to give me the same courtesy I gave you, and hear me out." Her voice was shaking from anger. "Dipper Pines is the best, most decent person I know. I felt that way about him even before we started dating. If he likes Fenrir—and if he trusts him—that is good enough for me." Wendy smirked. "In fact, I'm glad they're friends. Bacon told me that Fenrir's influence is probably the reason Dipper was allowed to come back from the dead. Maybe that's the real reason you don't like him, hmm? Because if it weren't for him, Dipper would be dead, and I would have fallen, grief-stricken, into your waiting arms?"

Cernunnos opened and closed his mouth several times, before finding his voice. "How _dare_ you," he said low, completely incensed. "To suggest that I—"

"You know what? Save it," interrupted Wendy. "I'm tired of dealing with you. I don't need your help. I'm going to deliver this note to the Green Man, and you are _not_ going to follow me."

She turned on her heel so quickly that her hair, in its single, thick braid, slapped Cernunnos across the face like a whip. Without a backward glance, Wendy strode toward the main court entrance, leaving the flabbergasted Lord of the Hunt in her wake.

/

Wendy was so over standing on ceremony with the Green Man. She didn't wait for the dwarf to announce her arrival, and she pushed past the line of dryads, nature spirits, and lesser gods who were all waiting for a turn to gain the Green Man's ear.

The Green Man's eyes widened with surprise, and he smiled toothily as he noticed her approaching the throne.

"My dear Wyn Dahlia, I am so very glad to see you well. You gave us all quite a scare with your hysterics after the attack last night. I was worried you were wounded somehow, but Cernunnos assured me that you were simply overwhelmed, having never seen someone killed before." He smiled patronizingly. "Do you want to talk about that young satyr's death?"

The corner of Wendy's mouth twitched upward in a wry half-smile.

"Actually, yes, I'd like to talk about it." She held out the note to him. "He requested that I deliver this to you."

The Green Man grabbed the paper from Wendy, and squinted at Dipper's nearly illegible scrawl addressing it to him.

"What is this nonsense? New god?" he grumbled, as he opened the note.

"Yeah, turns out he didn't stay dead," said Wendy, unable to hide the glee from her voice.

The Green Man's eyes scanned the page, his frown deepening. After reading the entirety of the message, he jerked his head up and glared at Wendy.

"Wyn Dahlia, you are to return to your quarters. Now." He snapped his fingers, and two of the Green Guard were immediately standing elbow to elbow with Wendy. "Please escort my granddaughter to her chambers, and do not let _anybody_ in or out. Remain there until given further orders."

The Green Guardsmen both nodded, and grasped Wendy's arms. As they led her away, Wendy gave her grandfather one last glance, and smiled at him coldly. She wasn't sure what Dipper had said in his note, but it sure had gotten under grandpa's wrinkly, green skin.

/

Dear The Green Man,

First off, is it " _The_ Green Man," or just "Green Man"? Because writing "Dear The Green Man" just looks funny. But I guess "Green Man" could mean any green man. I doubt there are many green men around. What kind of name is that, anyway? It's a description, more than anything. Do you have an actual name? You know what? I'm just going to call you Harold.

Hi Harold. I'm Dipper Pines. You may know me as the god of mischief who bled all over your floor last night. I'm half goat, too, if the bleeding doesn't jog your memory. There was a lot of blood, though, so I bet you remember me. Sorry about that, by the way. I was kind of busy dying, so I didn't really think of the mess I was making. Honestly, if we're doing the blame game, while yes, I _was_ the one doing the bleeding, the antler dude who'd been sloppy-kissing your granddaughter is the _real_ bad guy here. I totally wouldn't have bled out like that if he hadn't shot me. Twice.

Anyway, Harold… the whole dying thing is a bit embarrassing. You see, I'm kind of a noob at this, and I didn't know all the "god rules" or whatever. My mentor failed to mention that I could be killed by another god. He was in a hurry. I think the season finale of his favorite show was about to come on? He was pretty anxious to skedaddle after engoddening goddenizing turning me into his replacement.

Luckily my good friend Fenrir (I'm _certain_ you remember him) pulled some strings, and got the whole death thing undid for me. Hel of a nice guy, he is. (See what I did there?)

Okay, Harold. Now that you know who I am, and why I'm not dead, I can fill you in on my reason for writing you this little letter. See, your granddaughter, the pretty redhead? A little birdie told me you kidnapped her from the Mundane Realm, and she'd really prefer to not be here. Incidentally, the same little birdie told me that you actually kidnapped your own daughter, her mother, six years ago, and are keeping her trapped in a tree. Or as a tree? That part wasn't exactly clear.

Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here (tree pun, get it?!) and say you probably don't have any intention of letting either of them go. In fact, I hear tell that you've arranged for your granddaughter to marry the guy what killed me. That is _really_ not okay. The arranged marriage thing, I mean. If it was her choice to marry Bambi's dad, I'd say it was a poor life decision, but I wouldn't stand in the way. Because (and I know you're a god, and king of this realm or whatever, so this might be news to you)—this isn't the bronze age any more. Women these days have their own autonomy. They belong to no one but themselves. They are not simply the property of the men in their lives. I know you're like, incredibly old-school, but you're on the wrong side of history, Harold.

Here's what I propose. You let your daughter, granddaughter, myself, and my companions all go free. You let us leave unharmed, to return to the Mundane Realm. We'll leave you alone, you'll leave us alone. It'll be fantastic.

Should you come to the regrettable decision to keep us captive, I'm afraid I'll be forced to make a bit of mischief you won't like.

This is an awfully nice palace you have here. Grown out of living wood, correct? Yeah, it'd be a real shame if something happened to it. Like a swarm of termites.

You know where I am if you want to discuss this further, Harold.

Make good choices.

Dipper

/

 _Termites? That's your coup de grâce?_ Fenris cocked his head to the side, and eyed Dipper warily.

"Oh no, they're just the beginning—if Harold chooses to be stubborn, that is," said Dipper with a grin, mischief practically oozing from his pores.

Fenris flopped down onto the cool stone floor. _Harold? You know what, I'm not even going to ask. You do you, Dipper._ He heaved a great sigh, and laid his head on his paws. _How long has it been? Do you think he'd have the balls to just completely ignore you?_

Dipper stretched and scratched the back of his head. "I dunno, man. You've been a god for like…ever. You'd know better than I would about the testicular fortitude of the gods."

 _That's just it, though_ , said Fenris. _Gods are unpredictable by their very nature. When you have the kind of power we have, it's easy to take things for granted, and just follow whatever whims you happen to get._

Dipper laughed. "Kind of like Puck did when he made me his protégé, and then left without giving me vital information, or teaching me to use my powers—because he didn't want to miss the start of his program?"

Fenris snorted. _Exactly like that._

Dipper was about to reply, but stopped when he heard the clank of keys, and the muffled creak of the ancient wooden door at the top of the dungeon stairs being opened.

Fenris stood and his hackles rose, as he stared tensely at their cell door. Dipper leaned against the wall, trying to strike a relaxed pose, even though his heart felt like it was about to beat right through his ribcage.

The slow, thudding steps of what sounded like multiple people echoed down the hall.

Dipper took a deep breath, and exhaled, trying to calm himself, as half a dozen Green Guardsmen walked into view through the bars of the cell door.

"Dipper Pines, the Green Man requests your presence," said the leader of the group. "Turn around, and place your hands behind your back, through the bars here. You must be bound in order to approach him."

"Uh," said Dipper, looking to Fenris for guidance.

 _Do it_ , said Fenris in Dipper's mind alone. _They use_ vines _in place of chains or manacles. Easy enough to get out of._

Dipper shrugged, and turned his back to the door, placing his hands behind him, and thrusting them through a gap between the bars. He was hit with a jolt of regret as he felt cool metal encircle his wrists, and heard the soft click of two locks.

"Uh," he said again, in a slightly more panicked tone.

 _Well, shit_ , said Fenris.

"Turn around," commanded the guard who had previously spoken.

As Dipper turned, he heard the footsteps of another person joining the party.

"Ah, Master Cernunnos, you are just in time," said the guard, sounding pleased.

Dipper jerked his head up, his eyes wide. The Lord of the Hunt stood in front of the cell, his bow nocked with a deadly looking arrow, aimed straight at Dipper's heart. Cernunnos stared at his adversary with no hint of emotion in his face, and then turned, so that his arrow was aimed at Fenris.

Fenris whined and backed up against the wall of the cell.

"What are you _doing_?!" cried Dipper, finally able to find his voice.

Without taking his eyes off Fenris, Cernunnos replied. "The Green Man requests to see you alone. I am here to make sure this filthy animal doesn't try and attack as we take you from your cell. Although," he said, his eye twitching slightly, "I hope he does. In order to try and avoid an incident with the other pantheons, I am not permitted to kill the beast outright. However, if he attacks, I will have no choice but to defend myself and those in my protection."

Fenris whimpered and seemed to shrink into himself. _Sorry, kid_.

"It's okay, buddy," said Dipper, softly.

A guard unlocked the cell door, and let Dipper pass. As he was prodded up the stairs, Dipper turned once to look back. Cernunnos had lowered his bow, but was standing in front of the cell, staring at Fenris with absolute loathing.

This was not the outcome Dipper had hoped for. Wendy and Bork had seemed convinced that Cernunnos was on their side. Apparently they were mistaken.

/

Dipper was brought to a large courtyard at the center of the palace. The Green Guard led him through a small copse of trees, along a path next to a happily bubbling stream. When they reached a clearing, Dipper saw the Green Man waiting for him, standing in the shade of a tall birch tree.

"Thank you, men. You are dismissed," said the old god, in a deep, resounding baritone. He raised one of his larger vines, and used it like a hand to beckon to someone behind Dipper. "Cernunnos, please remain with us." Dipper turned to look, surprised. He hadn't realized that the Lord of the Hunt had followed them. It made him feel slightly better to know that he wasn't still down in the dungeon, waiting for a chance to kill Fenris.

As the Green Guard melted back into the trees, Cernunnos strode forward, and stood on the other side of the birch tree. He was facing Dipper, although he stared straight ahead, seemingly trying to avoid eye contact with him.

The Green Man's smile was cold, and his eyes hard. "Dipper Pines. The newest god of mischief. We meet at last."

Dipper nodded. "Harold."

The Green Man scowled. "Under normal circumstances, I'd lecture you about using proper names, and having respect for your elders. However, these are not normal circumstances, are they?"

"I've been a god for like, a week," said Dipper, chuckling. "I've already died once. I've been hanging out with the Norse god of destruction, which apparently is frowned upon. I clearly have no idea what normal circumstances even _are_ here, Harold."

"Yes," nodded the Green Man. "I gather your mentor did a rather shoddy job of explaining how things work for gods, and in the Otherworld. It seems he just thrust you into godhood, and sent you on your merry way? Was it he who told you to come after me and my family, then?"

Dipper snorted. "No, I had already—" He clamped his mouth shut midsentence. He felt the blood leave his cheeks, as he realized what he had almost revealed. He didn't want the Green Man to know of his relationship with Wendy. He had a feeling that if the elder god knew about it, he would use it against them somehow.

The Green Man cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "You had already _what_ , exactly?"

"I, uh, really hate the color green," said Dipper, making it up as he went. "When I was reading a book on mythology one day, I learned that there was an actual Green Man. I told myself, 'Dipper, old chap, if ever you have the opportunity to become a god, you need to go make the Green Man's life hell.'"

Dipper saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and glanced over at Cernunnos. The movement Dipper had seen was him facepalming.

"Your mentor truly _did_ do you a disservice, Dipper Pines." The Green Man chuckled darkly. "You are an _abysmal_ liar."

Dipper shrugged, and looked down at his stomach. "I have great abs now, though, so I guess I can forgive him."

The Green Man frowned, as he muttered "You're just like him in your propensity to be completely irreverent, at least." He then shook his head. "Enough of this. Down to business."

"And what business is that, Harold?" asked Dipper. "Seeing as you still have me in irons, the business is probably not going to be favorable to me, am I right?"

"Actually, I think my proposal to you is more than fair—especially for someone who has made terroristic threats against my palace," said the Green Man.

"Proposal?" Dipper smirked. "I'm really flattered, Harold, but you're just not my type."

The Green Man had had enough. "That's not what I mean, and you very well know it!" he barked. As an afterthought he added "And _stop_ calling me Harold!"

Dipper heard a choking sound, and flicked his eyes over to rest on Cernunnos. Antler dude was trying desperately not to laugh. Dipper had no idea what to think of the Lord of the Hunt. His loathing for Fenris down in the dungeon had certainly been real, but he had apparently not told the Green Man that Wendy and Dipper were a couple, as the old god seemed unaware of the fact. Whose side was he on?

"The _deal_ I am prepared to offer you," emphasized the Green Man, oblivious to the muffled giggles coming from the direction of Cernunnos, "is this: If you swear not to release a swarm of termites on my palace (which is a living organism, by the way), I will allow for the release of you, and your companions. Well, two of them. I am planning to have some of my Norse brethren come collect Fenrir. He is too dangerous to be allowed to roam free. But you and the companions you arrived with, which I've been told have holed up in Wyn Dahlia's chambers with her, will be granted safe passage back to the Mundane Realm—once you swear an oath that you will leave me and my family in peace, and never return to the Green Realm. What say you?"

Dipper shook his head in mock sadness. "Oh, Harold. You had your chance. I wasn't bluffing. I say: termites."

As soon as he said the word, the sky darkened, as a swarm of termites so thick it nearly blotted out the sun descended upon the palace. The Green Man's face was a mask of horror.

"They're going to stick to the outer walls of the palace for now," called Dipper loudly, over the hum of the insects. "But the longer you hold me, my companions _including_ Fenrir, and Wendy and her mother captive, the more they will consume. So, you know, you should probably think about letting us go. Soon."

"Wyn Dahlia and Beithe are _my_ family!" shouted the Green Man. His vines were flailing wildly in his anger. "They belong here with me! _Why_ do you insist on taking them from me? Why is it so important to you?!"

Dipper opened his mouth to speak, but was beaten to it by Cernunnos.

"Oh, for the love of all things holy—do you really not see it?" he cried, staring at the Green Man in disbelief. "He's been sleeping with your granddaughter! They're lovers!"

"WHAT?!" Dipper and the Green Man shouted simultaneously. For a brief second, Dipper thought he saw a pair of angry green eyes glaring at him from the trunk of the birch tree. He blinked, and when he looked again, they were gone.

"HOW DARE YOU SULLY MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S PURITY!" screeched the Green Man, as his vines shot out at Dipper, and began winding around the satyr's legs and torso. They were uncomfortably tight, and working toward his neck.

"Woah there, Harold," Dipper said, with an awkward laugh. "I'm not saying I haven't thought about it. A lot. (Sorry). But Wendy and I have definitely _not_ slept together in the, uh, beast with two backs sense. We accidentally fell asleep on her bed while watching movies one night, but that was not the exciting kind of sleep. It was the restful kind."

As Dipper spoke, the vines slowed their ascent toward his neck, and finally started to loosen. The Green Man looked questioningly at Cernunnos.

"I apologize for the misunderstanding," said the antlered god. "They may not have hunted for passion as one yet—but they _are_ lovers, nonetheless."

The Green Man stared at Cernunnos, a thoughtful expression on his face. He slowly turned his head back toward Dipper, as his lips curled up in a malevolent grin. He withdrew his vines, and without breaking eye contact with Dipper, directed his speech at the Lord of the Hunt.

"Cernunnos, would you please take a few of the Green Guard, and go fetch Wyn Dahlia? Oh, and her companions. We'll need witnesses."

"It would be my pleasure," said Cernunnos with a nod. As he swept toward the courtyard doors, past Dipper, he had a strange expression on his face—almost a mixture of melancholy and determination. Dipper furrowed his brow. This god was an enigma. Dipper simply couldn't read him. His motives and intentions were a complete mystery, which was very disconcerting.

/

Wendy stood at her window, unable to decide whether she wanted to laugh or cry. Termites swarmed over the outer walls surrounding the palace grounds. Their buzzing seemed to make the air vibrate. When she had realized what was going on, she knew immediately who was responsible. This was the "something bad" that Dipper had cryptically mentioned to her in his last letter.

The Green Man must have proved recalcitrant, and Dipper was punishing him. Wendy just hoped that he remembered her mother was trapped in tree form before allowing the termites to do too much damage. She would be rather miffed if they finally got her back and she was missing her nose or fingers.

"That's a lot of bugs."

Wendy jumped. She hadn't realized that Grenda was standing next to her. From Grenda's shoulder, Bork looked up at Wendy with a reassuring grin.

"I think Dipper had the right idea—to hurt the Green Man in any way he's able, until the Green Man caves," said the Brownie, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Termites…" chuckled Bacon, from his seat on the bed behind them. "The cheeky bastard's got quite a pair. The Green Man can't be too happy about this turn of events."

Wendy turned from the window to face him, picking at her cuticles nervously. "I just hope it's enough to get the old codger to let us go," she said.

A sudden knock at the outer chamber door caused Wendy's stomach to do flip-flops. She took a deep breath to try and calm herself as she walked to answer it.

She opened to door to see Cernunnos, backed by several members of the Green Guard.

He stared at her mutely for a moment.

"Uh, can I help you?" asked Wendy, irritated. She still wanted nothing to do with him after his insinuation that Dipper's involvement with Fenrir meant he was not to be trusted.

"The Green Man requires your presence, along with that of your three companions," he said, with a nod to Grenda, Bacon and Bork who had come to stand behind Wendy. He had a strange look on his face, like he wanted to say more.

"Is Dipper with him?" asked Wendy.

Cernunnos glanced over his shoulder at the Green Guard accompanying him, and stepped forward slightly, trying to distance himself.

"Yes," he said so quietly that Wendy had to lean forward to hear him. "Shackled. Near a special birch tree. Your grandfather is planning something. If you want to prepare yourself, you must be quick."

Wendy nodded her head, and said loudly "Can you give me a minute to freshen up? I wouldn't want to offend my grandfather's sensibilities."

"Of course, my dear. We will wait right here. Please be quick."

"Thank you Cerny," said Wendy, her voice falsely sweet. She shut the door, and then turned to face her friends.

"Okay, so who here knows how to use a lock-pick?"

/

While he was worried about Cernunnos' loyalties, Dipper was more concerned with the fact that he was finally going to get to see Wendy again—and this time he wasn't in the middle of bleeding to death. That was a definite positive. However, being reunited with her in front of her misogynistic, controlling asshole of a grandfather did kind of take the wind out of his sails.

The Green Man continued to stare at Dipper, a crazed look in his eyes. The foliage surrounding his face seemed to grow bigger, like a lion's mane. He looked like any minute he was going to start mouth-breathing.

"So… I don't really like awkward silences," said Dipper, after several minutes of glancing around the courtyard, listening to the buzz of the termite swarm, and pretending not to be completely skeeved out that the Green Man was being Creepy McCreeperson. "And this silence is spectacularly awkward. What was that about witnesses, anyway?"

The Green Man's grin grew, until it took up nearly his whole face. "You'll find out soon enough," he chortled. "I don't want to spoil the surprise."

"Oh good," drawled Dipper. "A surprise. Yay…"

He sighed with relief as he heard the creak of the wooden courtyard doors opening. He turned and craned his neck, trying to catch a glimpse of shining red hair though the breaks in the trees. Finally, Dipper saw her, and had to resist the incredibly strong urge to run to her—he didn't want to risk any sudden movements around the Green Man.

Wendy was resplendent in a gown of emerald green velvet, the bodice of which hugged her curves like a second skin. Bork sat on her right shoulder, and her long red hair hung over her left shoulder in a single thick braid, woven through and tied off with a ribbon that matched her dress. The color was high in her cheeks, contrasting beautifully with her porcelain skin. When she spotted Dipper, she broke into a wide grin, and started to run toward him. Suddenly she stopped—Cernunnos had grabbed her arm and yanked her back. Dipper could hear Wendy's yelp of surprise, but couldn't tell what Cernunnos was saying to her. She glared at him and pulled her arm out of his grasp, but didn't try to run again. The corners of her mouth turned upwards as she held eye contact with Dipper, while walking sedately in his direction.

As Cernunnos, Wendy (and Bork), Bacon, and Grenda entered the clearing, Cernunnos once again took Wendy's arm, not allowing her to walk too closely to Dipper.

"Hi Wendy," said Dipper softly. His heart ached. He wanted to say so much more to her, but that would have to wait until they were alone, and Dipper wasn't in chains.

Cernunnos didn't allow Wendy to stop and chat, so as they passed on Dipper's right, she turned her head and mouthed "I love you."

Bacon was not his usual boisterous self, as he followed Wendy and Cernunnos forward. "Is this part of yer plan?" he hissed at Dipper. Dipper shrugged. Bacon rolled his eyes, and kept walking.

Grenda, on the other hand, was thrilled to see her best friend's brother alive and well. She hurried toward him, arms outstretched.

"Dipper! I'm so glad you're—oof!" Grenda tripped, and went down, taking Dipper down in the process.

As he hit the ground, the air left his lungs. He was too busy gasping for breath to help Grenda untangle herself from his legs. She kept trying to get up, then falling down again, at one point somehow turning him onto his stomach and sitting on his back.

"ENOUGH!" shouted the Green Man irritably. "Cernunnos, please help this dim-witted trollkin to her feet so we can get on with things."

Dipper felt Grenda's weight lifted off him, and he was finally able to breathe.

"Sorry, Dipper," murmured Grenda, as Cernunnos hauled him back up to standing.

"S'okay," said Dipper, breathlessly. And then, just before Grenda turned to face the Green Man, she winked.

Dipper narrowed his eyes in confusion. Did Grenda bowl him over on purpose? To what end? He scratched the back of his head, puzzled—and then his eyes widened, and he threw his arm behind his back again, hoping the Green Man hadn't noticed. Grenda had somehow managed to unlock one of the manacles, so when had instinctively moved to scratch his head, the loosened manacle had fallen off. His left wrist felt weirdly heavy, as it was carrying the weight of both manacles and the chain connecting them.

"Now, Wyn Dahlia, my dear," said the Green Man, "Your betrothed has delivered to me some very interesting news, today. I was surprised to hear that you and this…god…are an item." He pointed at Dipper with several of his vines.

Wendy crossed her arms and glared at Cernunnos. "Oh my _betrothed_ told you that, did he?"

Cernunnos wouldn't look at her.

"Yes, indeed," said the Green Man. "And… it's Dipper, right? This Dipper seems to have it in his head that you'd rather leave with him, than stay and marry the Lord of the Hunt." Wendy opened her mouth to speak, but the Green Man shushed her by placing the tip of one of his vines on her mouth like a finger.

"He has told me that unless I release you, he will let his swarm of termites destroy—kill—my home." He paused, and sneered at Dipper. "However, what he doesn't know, is that unless he calls off his swarm immediately, I will perform the eternal binding between you and Cernunnos right here and now."

Dipper's heart sank. He started forward, but stopped when Bacon, who had inched close enough to reach him, kicked him in the leg. The clurichaun shook his head, and mouthed "Not yet." He nodded in Wendy's direction, and Dipper turned his attention back to her.

Wendy shoved the vine away from her mouth. "No you won't. Dipper is right. I would rather leave with him. I love him. The only reason I pretended to want to marry Cernunnos was to buy time to try and figure out a way to rescue my mom. Isn't that _right_ , Cerny?"

Cernunnos stepped forward, and placed a hand on the trunk of the birch tree. "Why, my lord? Beithe was my friend. She was good, and kind, and would never hurt anyone. Why have you kept her imprisoned for six years?"

The Green Man's vines began to shake furiously. He seemed unable to form a complete thought. "How did you—I never told—it's none of your—" Finally he closed his eyes, and dropped all his vines at once.

"Being as she is my daughter," said the Green Man, his voice eerily calm, "Beithe is no common dryad, but a minor goddess in her own right—as are any female children born to her. A royal daughter of the Green Man doesn't marry just anyone—I must make the most beneficial arrangement. But Beithe dared defy me. She ran off with a murderer, a nature destroyer. She chose to live a Mundane life, and bear that beastly man's offspring. If I had known all those years ago that she had borne a daughter, I would have rescued Wyn Dahlia from the Mundane along with her mother. When I brought her home, Beithe kept attempting to flee back to that monster she called a husband. I had no choice. She is safe here. She is not being contaminated by the Mundane."

The courtyard was silent for a moment, but for the buzzing of the termites as they destroyed the outer wall of the palace. Finally, Dipper spoke.

"So… wait. That tree is Mama Corduroy?"

Wendy nodded.

"Harold, can you please un-tree her?" asked Dipper.

"Never!" cried the Green Man.

Dipper looked his companions in the eye one by one. "Well, nobody can say I didn't ask nicely."

He ran forward, bringing his hands out from behind his back, and swung the heavy iron manacle like a mace, connecting a blow with the Green Man's chin before the elder god had a chance to react.

Dark green blood oozed from the gash along the bottom of the Green Man's jaw. His eyes flashed with rage. He opened his mouth and screamed "GUA—" but was cut off by a sudden birch branch to the face.

The blow knocked him onto his back. His eyes wild, he stared at the tree, mumbling "That's not possible…" He didn't notice Dipper and Cernunnos approach him from opposite sides until they were upon him. Dipper lazily swung the manacle in a circle, clutching a conjured plastic spray bottle of weed killer in his other hand, while Cernunnos had a nocked arrow drawn taut, aimed directly at the Green Man's head. Wendy (with Bork), Grenda and Bacon all stood back to avoid any crossfire, watching with interest at the scene unfolding before them.

"I had so much respect for you," said Cernunnos, his voice thick with emotion. His arm muscles were bulging with the effort to keep the bow drawn. "I knew you to be a just ruler. Cruel, perhaps, when your wrath was provoked, but never unnecessarily so. But to act this way toward your own _family_. I cannot condone this. If you refuse to return Beithe to her former state, killing you will undo the magics you've put in place. I am prepared to do what I must."

"Oooooh, Harold, I don't think he's kidding around," giggled Dipper. "If you don't want to be forced to deal with Arawn lording it over you for the rest of forever, you probably should make Wendy's mom into not a tree anymore."

"I refuse to release my daughter back into the arms of that filthy, Mundane brute," said the Green Man softly.

"So be it," said Cernunnos. He loosed the arrow. It immediately turned into a Nerf dart, hitting the Green Man directly between the eyes, and bouncing harmlessly away. And then the Green Man simply vanished.

The Lord of the Hunt blinked slowly, and bent down to pick up the toy dart, glancing at the spot where the Green Man had cowered only seconds ago. "What trickery is this?" he hissed at Dipper.

Dipper threw his hands up in the air, forgetting about the manacle attached to his wrist, which reminded him of itself by smacking him in the face. "Okay, ow. But don't look at me, I _wanted_ to see you skewer ol' Harold."

"Sorry, this has been entertainin' and all, but if I just stood by and gawped while my brother was slain right in front of me, me parents would be quite put out."

All eyes turned to Bacon.

But he wasn't there. Standing in his place was Tad Strange.

"Oopsie daisy, wrong body," said Tad. He disappeared, replaced by a grinning Puck.

"Hi Cerny!" said Puck, waggling his fingers at the Lord of the Hunt. "Long time, no see! Sorry about turning your arrow into a harmless foam dart and transporting my brother to my parents' realm just as you were about to slay him. Death is too easy of an out for him anyway. Mom and dad are _really_ unhappy with how he's been running things here. He is in for some _serious_ time out."

Cernunnos didn't say a word. He glared at Puck for a few seconds, and then pushed past him, and stormed out of the courtyard, slamming the doors behind him.

"He doesn't like me very much," said Puck in a stage whisper, as if it were a secret.

No one said a word. The only noise was the incessant drone of the termites.

Dipper stared open-mouthed at Puck. He snapped his fingers and the buzzing insects ceased to exist. He continued staring. Puck sauntered up to him, and tucked a finger under the younger satyr's chin, popping his mouth closed.

"What's the matter, kid? You act like you aren't happy to see me!" He looked down. "You know that is a _really_ nice loincloth. I mean, it could use a wash, but— does your sister do commission work?" he asked, reaching out to touch the loincloth.

Dipper jerked back out of Puck's reach. "The whole time," he said finally. "You were with us the whole freaking time. You—I—what the hell, man?!"

"Well I couldn't just turn you into a god and let you wander off willy-nilly," said Puck with a shrug. "You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"I _did_ get myself killed!" cried Dipper.

Puck stroked his chin. "Oh yeah, that did happen," he remarked. "Just think of it like a training exercise. You learned a lot about your powers. Those termites? Stroke of genius, kid. I wouldn't have thought you'd be powerful enough to pull that off yet."

"Training… exercise… DO YOU THINK MY LIFE IS A FUCKING GAME?!" exploded Dipper.

Puck jumped back, startled. "Yeesh, kid. Temper."

"And what about Wendy's mom?!" Dipper ranted, gesturing to the birch behind him. "If Cernunnos had killed Harold, his magic would have lost its hold—but _you_ kept that from happening!"

Dipper was shaking, and breathing so hard he was nearly at the point of hyperventilation, when he felt a warm hand grab his, twining their fingers together.

"Shh, Dipper. It's okay," said Wendy, rubbing his arm. "We're okay."

Dipper turned. "Wendy," he choked out.

Bork motioned wildly to Grenda, who moved close enough to catch him as he jumped from Wendy's shoulder, just as Dipper pulled her into a tight embrace. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, taking in the subtle scent of pine needles she now exuded. Dipper had never felt anything more vividly than he now felt Wendy's soft body pressed against his, their hearts beating in tandem. A quiet sob escaped him. Wendy rubbed his back, tears of her own dripping down onto Dipper's shoulder.

Grenda and Bork wandered around the outside edge of the clearing, wanting to give their friends a bit of privacy for their reunion. Puck twiddled his thumbs, humming tunelessly, as he paced around the base of the birch tree.

"I'm sorry I let you down, Wen," whispered Dipper, as his sobs finally subsided. "I tried… I'm so sorry—"

Wendy pulled back from their embrace slightly. "You didn't let me down, Dipper," she said, her green eyes bright. She raised a hand to his cheek and wiped away a tear with her thumb. "You proved to me that you would literally _die_ for me. You can't control everything, dude, even if you are a god now."

"But your mom—" Dipper was cut off by soft lips suddenly pressed against his.

"Shut up, dork," Wendy murmured against his mouth. She ran her fingers through his unkempt brown curls as their kiss deepened. The heat coming off his body was intense. She felt like she was melting against him.

Dipper shuddered, and let out a low moan. He'd always wanted Wendy, but he'd never felt anything quite like the animalistic lust that was beginning to wash over him. It took every ounce of self-control he had to pull away from her.

"Wendy," he gasped out, his voice ragged. "We-we have to stop."

"Your boyfriend is right, Wendy," said a woman's voice from behind them.

Wendy jerked back from Dipper and whirled around so quickly that she nearly fell over. "Mom?!"

Standing next to a grinning Puck, where once there had been a majestic birch tree, was a tall, willowy redhead in a simple long white sundress. She looked a lot like Wendy, although her long red hair had a bit of curl to it, her figure was a bit fuller, and she had laugh lines around her jewel green eyes.

"Mom!" Wendy launched herself at Beithe, nearly bowling her over.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay now," murmured Beithe soothingly as Wendy bawled on her shoulder. "It's okay now."

While Beithe and Wendy hugged and cried, Puck sauntered casually over to Dipper, and murmured in his ear. "Kid, if you want to make nice with your girlfriend's mom, you should probably cover up your raging…pine tree… until you have a chance to calm down." He walked slowly back over to stand next to Wendy and Beithe, impatient for their extended reunion to be over.

Dipper looked down and his cheeks flushed. "Oh, for the love of…" he muttered. He conjured an enormous bouquet of roses, with the intention of giving it to Wendy when he no longer needed the coverage, and held it about waist high.

"So does this mean we get to go home now?" asked Grenda, causing Dipper to jump. He hadn't noticed her and Bork, who was situated on her shoulder, approach on his left side.

Dipper shrugged. "I guess so. I've been so focused on saving Wendy and her mom that I haven't given any thought to what happens after. I don't even know what day it is anymore. It feels like it's been forever since Christmas Eve."

"It's the 29th," said Grenda, without hesitation. She chuckled at the quizzical look on Dipper's face. "I've been keeping track."

"So I have three days until Mabel and I are supposed to go back to Piedmont." He looked down at his fur-covered goat legs. "Explaining to my parents why I'm suddenly seventeen and a satyr is going to be…complicated."

"Now that the Green Man is gone, maybe you and Wendy can stay here!" suggested Bork.

Dipper shook his head. "I don't think my family would be okay with that. And I know now that Beithe is free, she is going to want to go home to Manly Dan and the boys with Wendy." He noticed Bork's disappointment and added "Don't worry, little man—you are still more than welcome to come home with us."

Bork smiled and said something in reply, but Dipper was distracted by a familiar voice in his head.

 _Dipper, I'm here, I'm here! I got out!_

"Fenris? Can you hear me? Where are you?" cried Dipper. He whipped his head around, looking for his furry friend. He felt a bit guilty that with everything going on, he'd forgotten about Fenris, left all by himself down in the dungeon.

Wendy, who had finally composed herself, and was leading Beithe by the hand over to meet Dipper, stopped in front of him and arched an eyebrow. She glanced at her mom. "He's not really crazy, I swear."

"Just a minute, let me try something," said Dipper to Wendy. "Oh, these are for you," he said absently, handing her the bouquet of roses. "Hey Fenris," shouted Dipper, "If you can hear me, can you please do like, an open broadcast or something? It's safe now."

 _Safe?! Aw, that means I missed the fun part._

Beithe, Wendy and Bork all jumped slightly—they were unaccustomed to an extra voice in their heads.

 _Sorry it took me so long! I've never tried to make myself this small before. I had to, to squeeze between the bars. I've been trying to get in touch with Bacon, but I'm getting nothing. Do you know if he's okay?_

Bounding out of the small copse of trees at the front of the clearing came a tiny black ball of fur.

"PUPPY!" cried Grenda, flapping her hands with glee.

Beithe and Wendy simultaneously gasped with delight.

Dipper couldn't help it. He collapsed on the ground in a fit of giggles.

 _Uh, Dipper… are you having a nervous breakdown?_ Tiny Fenris trotted over to Dipper and pawed at him. His pointed ears were almost full-sized, which meant they were entirely too big for his head. They were perked up, but slightly floppy, so that pointed towards each other. They made him resemble a bunny rabbit.

"This has been a really weird day," laughed Dipper, wiping away tears of mirth. "And you're the most adorable little bringer of doom I've ever seen."

 _Hey, don't make me remind you that when I am in one of my_ smaller _wolf forms, I can easily fit your head in my mouth._

"But you're just so damn _cute_!" giggled Dipper.

 _Puppy teeth may be small, but they're sharp. Keep laughing. I dare you._

"Fine, fine," said Dipper. He clumsily got to his hooves. "Wendy, Beithe, this is Fenris. When he is in his scary wolf form, he goes by Fenrir." He looked at Wendy. "He was the horse-sized wolf that acted as a distraction for when I…uh, attempted to attack Cernunnos. He's also the reason I got a do-over after I died."

"Well, in that case," said Wendy, bending down to scoop up the squirming puppy, and holding him up to her face, "I thank you, Fenris. Whether not you belong in our pantheon, I will always think of you as family." She grinned as the puppy licked her face enthusiastically.

"Hey, now, don't get fresh," said Dipper.

As Wendy sat Fenris back on the ground, he cast a glance around the clearing.

 _Where's Bacon? You never said._

A soft cough came from the edge of the clearing, where Puck was standing by himself, being unusually quiet. "Hullo, Fenris," he said, waving casually.

 _Puck. Don't tell me—_ really _? You were Bacon? Why didn't you tell me, you ass?!_

"Wait, you already know Puck?" asked Dipper, confused.

 _He and my dad go way back,_ explained Fenris. _No wonder Bacon was so familiarly obnoxious._

Puck shrugged. "Obnoxious is what I do best. Well, that and watching my programs. And eating. I'm actually really good at eating."

As if on cue, Grenda's stomach rumbled loudly. "Speaking of food," she said, "Can we do all our talking and catching up and planning to leave over a meal? I'm starving."

/

During dinner, Puck managed to convince Beithe that the group needed rest, and should wait to return to the Mundane Realm in the morning. As it turned out, making Dipper trek across the Green Realm to get to the palace had been part of Puck's ill conceived "training exercise." As an elder god, he could easily transport them to and from any place, in almost any realm, almost instantaneously. However, he had wanted Dipper to have time to grow accustomed to his new body and powers before attempting a confrontation with his asshole brother.

When everyone was done eating, Puck asked Beithe to join him as he sought out Cernunnos, to discuss stewardship of the Green Realm now that his brother was no longer there to rule. He then suggested to Bork that the brownie show Grenda and Fenris to private rooms where they could sleep.

"After that, why don't you find your family and say your goodbyes since you'll be going off to the Mundane Realm tomorrow," he added. The brownie nodded in agreement. Bork, Grenda and Fenris left the hall in one direction, Puck and Beithe in another. Just before he walked out the door, Puck turned around and winked at Dipper.

"That was weird," said Wendy, as she stood from the table and adjusted her skirt.

Dipper laughed. "He's apologizing."

"What are you talking about?" asked Wendy, as they left the hall, walking side-by-side.

Dipper grabbed Wendy's hand, and laced his fingers through hers. "He just made sure that everyone else had somewhere to be. Away from us. So we can be alone." He chuckled to himself as he heard Wendy's gasp of realization. He laughed outright when her pace quickened.

By the time they reached Wendy's chambers, they were nearly at a run. She threw the door open, and pulled Dipper inside, bolting it shut behind him.

Dipper's heart was pounding. She was acting as impatient as he felt. She pulled him into her bedroom.

For a moment, they stood in the middle of her room, hungrily taking in the sight of each other. Dipper could see Wendy's pulse in her neck. As she looked him up and down, he could actually see it quicken, as her chest rose and fell more rapidly.

"Dipper," she whispered, stepping toward him, resting one outstretched hand on his muscular shoulder, and with the other, brushing the stubble on his cheek. She trailed her fingers down his defined jawline and thick neck. "You're so different…but it's still definitely you under there."

She ran her fingers over his slightly furred chest, and down to his abs. She laughed when she realized that she was leaving visible lines through the dirt and grime on his body.

"What?" said Dipper. He stepped back from Wendy, hurt in his eyes.

"You're filthy, dork," said Wendy, leaning in and placing a light, reassuring kiss on Dipper's cheek. "The last time you bathed was probably Christmas Eve morning, wasn't it?"

Dipper nodded, becoming self-conscious.

Wendy gave him a sultry smile, and eyed him from under her lashes. "I have a nice, big bathing pool in the corner, behind that screen over there," she said, pointing. "There's more than enough room for two… how about I get the bath ready for you? You can come back when I call."

"Th-that sounds amazing," stammered Dipper. He watched her emerald velvet-clad hips sway seductively as she walked away from him, until she stepped behind the screen. He heard the rustle of fabric, and groaned softly as Wendy threw her discarded gown out from behind the screen.

He slowly walked forward, as he heard the rush and splash of running water filling the pool. He couldn't help himself. He peeked around the corner of the screen.

The dreams Dipper had had where he'd seen Wendy naked paled in comparison to the real thing. She was standing with her back to him, facing the tub. She was built like a ballerina, with shapely, long legs; her form slender and feminine, but with a strong foundation underneath. He watched as she reached back and began to unbraid her hair, pulling the woven emerald ribbon out in one fluid movement. Her brilliant, red tresses, now slightly waved from having been in a braid all day, cascaded down her back, all the way down past her waist. Dipper felt light-headed as he watched her bend over to place the ribbon off to the side of the pool.

Something primal was trying to conquer Dipper's usually sensitive personality. He grunted, trying to resist the urge to grab Wendy and take her then and there. He ripped off his loincloth, breathing heavily. There had been no point to him wearing it for the past few minutes anyway. He balled his hands into fists at his sides, and stepped back from the corner of the screen, clenching his jaw. He felt on the verge of losing control of himself. Was this what Fenris had meant when he talked about satyrs representing virility?

A gentle splash from behind the screen signal's Wendy's descent into the bathing pool.

"Dipper," she called softly. "I'm ready for you now."

He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for what was about to happen.

 _Sorry to bother you, because I know you're probably_ busy, _but I just saw Wendy's mom marching in your direction… and she doesn't look pleased._

The sudden intrusion of Fenris into Dipper's mind startled him into a panic. He did the only thing he could think of, which ended up being the least likely situation to be well-received by Wendy's mother. He jumped into the bathing pool with a very naked Wendy.

/

 **Wow. This chapter did not cooperate with me. It was** _ **not**_ **supposed to be this long, (over 10,000 words, are you kidding me?!) and it** _ **was**_ **supposed to be a sort of "season finale," where I wrapped up Dipper and Wendy's storyline, so that I could start focusing on my "season two" storyline revolving around Mabel, Arden, and the Gravnemeta.**

 **Clearly that wrapping up did not occur.**

 **So here's the deal: starting now I'm taking a hiatus from Fanfiction for the month of November, so that I can write some original fiction during Nanowrimo that will hopefully, maybe get published and help me pay the bills someday.**

 **I promise that I am not abandoning this story—I'm having way too much fun with it to do that! You just may have to wait until early to mid-December to find out what happens when Beithe walks in on Dipper and Wendy naked in the bath together. XD**

 **/**

 **Now, onto the part where I thank all my readers and reviewers profusely for their support. Seriously, I feel like y'all are having a contest to see who can write me the nicest comments in their review. Reading how much people are liking this story is so incredibly validating and motivating to me. Whenever I get a notification that I've received a new review, I get a little burst of happy. It makes my day. So if you've been reviewing my story, please continue—I love to hear your thoughts and feedback! And if you haven't reviewed, but you've thought about it? You totally should. I won't bite. XD**

 **Shoutouts: Mr. FullMetalKhaos, I am pre-emptively thanking you for the random ranting about characters and plot-lines that I am likely to do throughout the month of November. You're a champ for putting up with me.**

 **TGGDSD: Thanks for all the awesome music suggestions!**

 **A huge shoutout to my awesome reviewers: fereality, ookami738, Dexay, TGGDSD, Guest, pittbuck, MegaPrimo1, NovelDrew, LimboticMistisos, another Guest, HarleyWilson, and arcaneboss.**

 **Have a happy November, loves!**

 **-Geeky**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

The last place you want to find yourself when confronted by someone's mother, is naked, in a bathtub with that someone. Unfortunately, that was the position Dipper was finding himself in.

Upon hearing Fenris' warning, Dipper's panic led him to a momentary lack of common sense. He needed to hide! But where to hide!? The bathing pool! Once he was in the water, with Wendy pressing her soft, warm body against his, he realized that he had just made a poor life choice.

As she pushed him against the side of the tub, and began to kiss his neck, Dipper whimpered. His new animalistic side was fighting with his awkward, panicking side. For a moment he let his animalistic side win.

He grabbed Wendy, and swiftly switched places with her, so that he had _her_ up against the side of the tub. He kissed her hungrily, as his hands explored parts of her body that she had never allowed any of her previous boyfriends to touch. Wendy arched her back, and practically purred. Dipper groaned, as she pressed herself against him. To his disappointment, she pulled away only seconds later.

Then, Wendy surprised Dipper, by grabbing him, and reversing their places, so that he was once again pinned against the wall. She looked up at him from under her eyelashes, and smiled seductively.

"You're definitely ready to go, aren't you, Big Dipper?" she said, her voice low.

Dipper nodded. He swallowed hard, and closed his eyes, as her hand began to wander from his chest, down his midsection, and come to rest just above his pelvis.

And then she was touching him, her warm hand squeezing his girth gently. Dipper's whole body tingled, and he moaned.

He almost didn't hear the soft squeak of hinges from the door to Wendy's outer chamber. His eyes flew open, and he was suddenly hit again with the panic he had pushed aside when lust had overtaken him. With her soft hands exploring the length of him, Dipper was almost unable to speak.

"C-coming!" he managed to get out.

Wendy pulled back with an eyebrow raised. "What, already?" she said, grinning. She leaned back in and began kissing his collarbone.

Dipper panted. "No—she—your mom—coming here!"

Wendy stopped kissing him, her mouth right next to his ear. "What?"

Suddenly the door to Wendy's inner chamber was pushed open so hard that it banged against the wall. Wendy shot away from Dipper, toward the opposite side of the bathing pool, as hurried footsteps made their way into her bedroom. Beithe must have heard the splash of water, because she immediately went for the bathing area. She stepped behind the screen, and saw Wendy and her randy goat of a boyfriend sitting across from each other in the tub. Both were wearing nothing but guilty expressions.

"WYN DAHLIA CORDUROY!"

"Hi mom," said Wendy meekly.

Dipper coughed awkwardly. "Th-this isn't what it looks like, Mrs. Corduroy."

Beithe turned to Dipper, her green eyes narrowed. "My father was right—you are a terrible liar."

"Oh…you could hear our conversation when you were…a tree?" said Dipper, confused.

"Yes. Yes, I could. I was quite relieved to hear that Cernunnos had been mistaken about how far you had taken your relationship," said Beithe, folding her arms across her chest. "But it appears you were planning to remedy that right away. That cannot happen."

"Mom, I'm not a little girl anymore!" cried Wendy. "I love Dipper, and he loves me. We're ready!"

Beithe chuckled. "Oh, you're ready, are you? You're ready to be parents?"

"P-what?" asked Dipper, sitting up straight.

Wendy's face reddened even more than it already was. "Oh. I…didn't consider that. Protection."

Beithe sighed. "You two get out of the tub and get some clothes on. We have to have The Talk."

She walked back to the other side of the screen. Wendy stood and grabbed two towels from a ledge at the side of the tub. Dipper groaned inwardly. He wanted to lick at the water droplets running down her slick, perfect body.

"Down boy," he whispered, looking down at his lower half.

Wendy heard him and laughed. "Wash up real quick before you get out. You're still dirty."

She tossed one of the towels at his face, and exited the bathing pool, walking to the other side of the screen. Dipper sat the towel aside, and grabbed a cloth and a jar of what appeared to be liquid soap. He scrubbed himself quickly, but vigorously, until his skin was bright pink. As he washed his shaggy goat parts, he felt like he was washing a dog. It was a strange sensation. Finally, he stood up and climbed out of the tub. He dried off, and wrapped the towel tightly around his waist. He went to step out from behind the screen, and thought better of it.

"Are you decent?" he called.

Wendy giggled. "Yes, dork. Well, clothed, anyway. I'm not sure I've ever been decent."

Dipper emerged from behind the screen to see Wendy, wrapped in a flannel robe, sitting in a low backed chair, while her mother braided her hair. Her eyes were closed, and she was smiling blissfully. It had been six years since the last time her mom did her hair, and she had missed it.

Beithe finished the braid and tied it off. "Okay, sit down, Dipper," she said, pulling another low backed chair over next to Wendy's, so they were both facing the bed. Beithe then perched herself on the edge of the bed and folded her hands in her lap.

"This is going to be awkward," she said matter-of-factly. "But it is important that you hear it."

"Mom, it already _is_ awkward," said Wendy. "Let's just get this over with, please?"

"I, too, am a fan of the getting-it-over-with plan," said Dipper, raising his hand.

Beithe smiled and shook her head. "Okay, kids. First things first: human contraception, (including the use of a condom) does not work on gods, goddesses, or any other magical creature."

Beithe opened her mouth to continue, but her daughter interrupted her.

"Wait, _what_?" said Wendy in disbelief. "So what you meant about being ready to be parents… oh, shit."

Dipper sat back in his chair, his stomach dropping. "Oh shit, indeed."

"There _are_ ways for you to prevent conception," continued Beithe, the corners of her lips twitching upward as Dipper perked up at her words. "You would use your magic, Wendy. I will explain what to do, but it is difficult to master. As soon as I met your father I began practicing the contraceptive magic. Thinking I had mastered it, I allowed him to seduce me fully."

"Ew, mom…" said Wendy.

"Oh, hush Wendy. If you think you're adult enough to have sex, you are _surely_ adult enough to acknowledge that your parents, have, in fact, 'done it.'"

"Point taken," muttered Wendy, rolling her eyes.

"As it turns out," said Beithe, continuing her story, "I had not mastered it quite yet. That is how you came to be, my dear."

"So, uh, can you give an estimate as to how long it takes to _actually_ master this spell or whatever it is that Wendy's going to have to do?" Dipper asked earnestly. He leaned forward in his chair, with his hands on his knees. "I would like to mark it on my calendar."

"Honestly, you're probably not going to like the answer," said Beithe. "It will most likely take Wendy somewhere close to a year to fully master the magic, to ensure there are no…surprises."

Dipper slumped back in his chair, feeling like a deflated balloon.

"A year?" cried Wendy, standing up out of her chair. "Are you freaking kidding me mom? You can't be serious! You-you're just trying to trick us into waiting longer!"

"Although I truly _do_ want you to wait longer, I am not making this up, Wendy," said her mother sternly. "You have only just come into your godhood, and have no experience with magic. I had been doing magic all my life, and it _still_ took me a long time to master."

Wendy huffed and sat back down, her arms crossed.

"Frankly, your reaction to this news does nothing but prove that you are, in fact, not emotionally mature enough for sex yet, let alone parenthood" said Beithe. She stared Wendy down, as if daring her to argue the point. Wendy clamped her mouth shut, and looked away.

"And Dipper, I don't even know anything about you. How old are you?" asked Beithe.

Dipper sighed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "It's complicated."

Beithe cocked her head to the side. "What does that even mean?"

"Does age even matter now that Wendy and I are gods, and therefore, essentially ageless?" asked Dipper, avoiding the question.

Beithe pressed her lips together. "Give me your most recent age."

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I'm physically a seventeen-year-old."

Beithe raised an eyebrow. "Physically? What are you avoiding telling me, Dipper?"

Dipper glanced at Wendy. She nodded, and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Before Puck engoddened me, I was thirteen," said Dipper. Looking at his feet, he mumbled "Technically a teen…"

Wendy watched her mother's face, which stayed strangely blank. Beithe just looked at the young couple before her: a shamefaced Dipper clutched a defensive-looking Wendy's hand.

"Well?" said Wendy, tired of waiting to be yelled at. "Aren't you going to call me a cradle robber, and tell us how highly inappropriate our relationship is?"

Beithe then surprised them by giggling softly. Dipper looked up, curious.

"Sweetie," she addressed Wendy, "You never knew this about me, of course, because you didn't know I was a dryad—but…well, you know what Dipper just said about gods essentially being ageless? When I met your father, I was four-hundred and eighty-three years old. Gods and goddesses can appear any age they want to, which is why I appeared to age as a normal human when I was with your father. What I'm trying to say, is that I am certainly not one to judge about age differences."

Wendy stared at her mother, mouth agape.

"I must say, Mama Corduroy, you look _really_ good for your age," said Dipper with a grin.

"Cheeky," said Beithe with a smile, blushing a rosy shade of pink. She cleared her throat. "I want to be clear that although your previous age difference does not matter to me, you still are not emotionally mature enough to be parents. Which means, until Wendy masters the contraceptive spell that I am willing to teach her, you should really avoid taking things too far."

"Just…out of curiosity," said Wendy slowly, "if we _were_ to accidentally take things too far…is it pretty much guaranteed that I would become pregnant?"

"That is a very good question, Wen," said Dipper, grinning at his girlfriend, then looking back to Beithe. "I'm curious to hear the answer as well—for science, of course."

Beithe rolled her eyes. "Of course. Look, here is the deal: being that you are a god, and physically a satyr, to boot, Dipper, your uh… little swimmers will be _exceptionally_ strong, hardy, and numerous. Basically, if you slept together, it would be like playing a game of Russian Roulette where _all_ the chambers are loaded but one. It is a risk you should not take."

Dipper's shoulders drooped. "Noted," he said.

Wendy pouted. "Mom, do you know _difficult_ it is going to be for us to hold off for a _year_? We only just started dating, and we can barely keep our hands off each other."

Beithe blinked. "I beg your pardon? You only _just_ started dating? How 'only just'? You two are awfully serious for 'only just.'"

Dipper sank down in his chair and looked away from Beithe, trying to make himself small.

Realizing how bad "a week ago" would sound to her mom, Wendy tried to choose her words carefully.

"Well, we've had feelings for each other for a good while now... Only, I was initially worried about the age difference, so I was in denial for a long time. We were best friends for like five or six months before I finally admitted to myself that I was in love with him and we officially became a couple."

"And when was that?" asked Beithe quietly.

Wendy looked down at the floor. "Like, a week ago, I think," she mumbled.

Dipper and Wendy both jumped as Beithe laughed loudly, and flopped back onto Wendy's bed, her hand to her forehead.

"This just gets better and better!" she said sarcastically.

Dipper felt he should speak up. "I know it sounds bad, Mrs. Corduroy, but I truly do love your daughter. I didn't commit to this relationship on a whim, or just for sex. Granted, sex would be a _fantastic_ perk. Ow!" he said as Wendy smacked his arm. "Moving along… I love Wendy fully and completely, for everything she was, is, and ever will be, with no reservations. Even when she does smack me," he said, with a quick wink at Wendy. "All that I've done in the past week has been for her. I didn't ask to be made a satyr or god, let alone both. But humans aren't allowed in the Green, so I agreed to be Puck's protégé. She's worth it—all of it."

Beithe slowly sat back up, and noticed Wendy wiping away a tear. The way Dipper was looking at her daughter reminded Beithe of how Dan had always looked at her.

"Wendy, how do you truly feel about Dipper?" she asked. "Please be honest. It is important."

Wendy reached out to grasp Dipper's hand. "Mom, I've had a lot of boyfriends. A lot. I never let any of them do more to me than kiss me, although most of them made it clear that they wanted, even expected, more. Dipper isn't like that. And I love that about him. Our connection isn't simply physical. As I said earlier, he became my best friend. The day he accidentally let slip that he loved me… I was kind of surprised, but not really. I'd had my suspicions, and was in serious denial about my own feelings for him. When I told him that day that he was too young for me, I was trying to convince myself of that as much as him. The thing is, mom, he feels like home. It doesn't matter where I am… if he's with me, I'm home. With him I am comfortable, I feel safe, and most of all, I feel loved." She paused, and turned to look at Dipper, whose eyes were watering, and chin was quivering, in an effort not to cry.

Wendy smiled, and gently cupped his cheek with her hand. "He's my happy place. I love him. And that's the truth."

Beithe sighed, but it was a sigh of relief rather than frustration. The idea that had been bouncing around in her head throughout their conversation was seeming more and more like a good one.

"Your feelings for each other _do_ appear to be genuine, and not purely physical," said Beithe, tapping a finger against her chin. "I have a proposal that I think you will find fair, and which will be reassuring to me and your father, Wendy."

"What would that be?" asked Wendy.

"Handfasting," said Beithe simply.

"Hand what now?" asked Wendy, confused.

The term sounded familiar to Dipper, and as we wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand, he remembered why. He sat straight up in his seat, his eyes wide.

"Isn't that like…marriage?" he asked. "When I called to tell Manly Dan about Wendy's kidnapping, and he told me about you, he said that you couldn't officially marry in our realm, because there was no record of you on file for the magistrate to sign off on—so you handfasted instead."

Beithe nodded.

"Hold up—what?" asked Wendy. "You're suggesting we get married, mom?"

"No, I'm suggesting you handfast. It is a bit different," explained Beithe. "When a couple handfasts, they vow to be faithful to each other for a year and a day. At the end of that period of time, if the couple wishes to part ways, they may do so, but with the acknowledgment that if a pregnancy occurred during that year and a day, the child was to be legitimate, and would be recognized by the father. However, should the couple want to continue their union beyond that year and a day, they may exchange their handfast vows for the permanent vows of marriage. In your case, because you are both gods, the eternal binding would most likely be performed for you in the Green Realm."

"So if we do this handfast thing, it's okay if we have sex?" asked Dipper. "Because I'm totally on board with that."

"I would still strongly encourage you to wait until Wendy is able to master the contraceptive spell," said Beithe. "But _if_ you two should get carried away, and Wendy conceives, Dan would be less likely to try and kill you. It informally legitimizes your relationship. Handfasting also—and I'm not saying I think this will happen—but it gives you an easy way out if you should decide you're not as compatible as you previously thought."

Dipper laid a hand on top of Wendy's, intertwining their fingers. Wendy smiled at him, then looked at her mom, and said with confidence "We won't have to worry about that happening."

"Also, I am definitely in favor of not being bludgeoned to—as close to death as a god attacked by a human can be—by your husband, in the event of a… happy accident," said Dipper, nodding his head.

"You both are sure you want to handfast, then?" asked Beithe.

Dipper and Wendy looked at each other, and laughed as they realized they both had the same dopey grin plastered across their faces. They turned back to Beithe.

"Yes," said Wendy. "Definitely."

"Absolutely," added Dipper.

"Very well," said Beithe. "I will talk with Puck and Cernunnos tonight, and let you know the plans for the ceremony in the morning."

"We can't just go ahead and do the ceremony right now?" asked Wendy, disappointed.

"Sweetie, while handfasting is essentially an informal marriage, there is still a traditional ceremony to be performed," said Beithe.

"Okay," said Wendy, with a heavy sigh.

Dipper patted Wendy's hand. "It's alright, Wen. I had to wait half a year for you, and I survived."

Wendy snorted. "Actually, you didn't."

"Oh yeah… there was that whole death incident. Huh. Well, in any case, I got better!" said Dipper cheerfully. "All I'm saying is that you were worth the wait—and handfasting with you will be too."

Wendy leaned toward Dipper until her forehead was resting against his.

"I love you, dork," she said softly.

"And I love you, Wen," Dipper replied, gently brushing his lips against hers.

Beithe coughed awkwardly, and the couple turned their attention to her.

"I have to say, it is a bit disconcerting to finally be free of my confinement, only to be making plans to handfast my daughter to a new god I've never met before on the same day I was freed," said Beithe, as she got up from her perch on the edge of the bed, and stood in front of Wendy. She reached down, and grasped Wendy's hands.

"The last time I saw you, you were only ten. Just a little girl. You've changed so much—and I am so _incredibly_ proud of the person you've become."

A sob caught in Beithe's throat as Wendy jumped up from her chair and threw her arms around her mother.

"I've missed you so much, mom," she said, sounding choked up.

Mother and daughter hugged and cried for several moments. Finally, they broke their embrace, and looked down at Dipper, who was still sitting in his chair, smiling to himself as he idly examined his fingernails.

"Dipper, it is time that I show you to your rooms for the night," said Beithe. "It has been a long, strange day, and we all need rest."

"Aw, mom, can't he stay with me?" whined Wendy.

Beithe smiled wryly. "After what I walked in on earlier, I'm going to have to say no. I at least want you handfasted before you put yourself into blatantly tempting situations."

Dipper stood from his seat. "Stupid overly fertile man parts," he muttered, looking down at the towel around his waist. He walked over to where he had tossed aside his dirty loincloth, and bent to pick it up.

"Oh, ew, don't put that back on, Dipper," said Wendy. "It's kind of…it…has a smell."

Dipper flushed. "It's the only thing I have to wear," he said.

"Wendy, ask your friend Bork if the brownies can wash it tonight, and leave it in Dipper's rooms," suggested Beithe. "I'm sure they will oblige. Now, come with me, young man. You will be rooming with Fenris."

"Mom, can you give us a little privacy to say goodnight before he goes, please?" asked Wendy.

Beithe sighed with mock impatience, but was smiling. "Fine. Make it quick." She exited Wendy's bedroom to wait in the outer chamber.

Wendy swiftly crossed the room over to where Dipper was standing next to his abandoned loincloth, and threw her arms around him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, and breathed in her scent. It was clean and earthy, like pine needles, but with an underlying sweetness.

"Are you okay with how fast everything is happening?" Wendy said softly, her mouth next to his ear.

Dipper repositioned his head so he could speak, gently laying his forehead on Wendy's shoulder. "Wendy, this past week has been one of the longest of my life, because you were finally mine, only to be snatched away from me the very night we finally became a couple. As long as I'm with you, and I know you're okay, the flow of time is irrelevant to me."

"Dipper," whispered Wendy, her breath hot on his neck, "I will try to master the contraceptive magic as soon as I possibly can."

She lifted her head, and Dipper looked at her. The intensity of the lust in his gaze left her breathless. He was still Dipper, but there was something savage and primal about him. He pressed his mouth against hers in a fierce kiss. He was trembling, his breath becoming ragged. He pulled away, and stepped out of Wendy's embrace.

"I have to go now, or we may end up becoming parents way sooner than we want to," he said low. He leaned in, and brushed Wendy's cheek with a soft kiss. "I love you," he whispered, and then rushed from the room.

Wendy hugged herself as she watched him leave. She wasn't sure if they were going to be able to hold out for a whole year.

/

Beithe led Dipper to another wing of the palace, and left him in front of his rooms before going to seek out Puck and Cernunnos. Dipper entered the dimly lit room, and turned to shut the door behind him. When he turned back around, he burst out laughing, as a tiny black ball of fur with ears too big for its head trotted up to him.

 _What? What's funny?_

"I forgot you took puppy form earlier," said Dipper. "Why are you still like that?"

 _I've never taken a form this small before, so it's new and different. Plus, we're out of eminent danger, so I don't_ have _to be big and scary right now. Sometimes a god just wants to be cute, you know?_

Dipper grinned. "No, I really don't. Thanks for the warning by the way."

Fenris showed his teeth in a wide puppy grin, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

 _I figured you'd want to know. If I had a girlfriend as hot as yours, I know the first thing I'd want to do after being reunited, once we had a moment alone. With you being a satyr, I figured it was probably the first thing you wanted to do, as well. So tell me…did you have time to finally get that raging pine tree of yours taken care of before Mommy Dearest showed up?_

"Dude, really?" said Dipper. He rubbed the back of his neck.

 _Well…?_

"Ugh… no," admitted Dipper. "Wendy said I needed a bath, because I was so filthy, and was going to join me. She got naked right around the time I heard your warning. I panicked and jumped in the water with her."

 _You…you jumped in to the bath, with a_ naked _Wendy, right after I had just_ told you _her mom was headed your way? You are_ not _a smart one, are you?_

"It wasn't my finest moment."

 _So what was the fallout? You look and_ smell _much cleaner, so I assume some actual bathing did occur?_

"Yeah," said Dipper. He made his way back to the bedchamber, with little Fenris trotting at his heels. Flopping down on the bed, he put his hands behind his head. "I admit, it does feel nice to be clean again." Dipper heard a whimper from floor next to the bed, and looked over the side.

 _Uh, a little help? I can't jump up that high._

Dipper snorted, and leaned down to pick up wee Fenris, depositing him on top of the mattress.

"You are just too damn cute. You should stay like this when we get to Gravity Falls. I want to see Mabel's reaction to you. She is going to lose her shit."

 _Yeah, yeah. I'll think about it._ Fenris turned in a circle three times, before flopping down with a sigh near Dipper's hooves. He yawned, and rolled over so he was lying tummy-side-up, with his paws in the air.

 _I don't normally need a lot of sleep, but I'm exhausted right now. Must be a puppy thing. I think I'm going to call it a day._

"Sounds good to me. 'Night, Fenris," said Dipper, as he scooted himself under the covers. He heard a tiny snore, and smiled to himself. Fenris was already asleep.

/

Dipper woke up to the smell of puppy breath. He groaned, and rolled over.

"Five more minutes," he mumbled, pulling the blanket over his head.

 _Nope._ Tiny Fenris growled, and took the sheets in his mouth, pulling them back off.

"I'm so tired… what time is it?" asked Dipper, holding an arm across his eyes to shield them from the bright daylight streaming in through the windows.

 _It's almost noon. Everyone decided to be nice and let you sleep in, since you've had a bit of a rough time lately, what with dying and all. However, I heard something interesting. Something that makes me wish you wore shoes, just so I could have the pleasure of pissing in them._

"What?" said Dipper, wrinkling his forehead in confusion. He sat up, and after rubbing the sleep from his eyes, found himself face to face with a fluffy little ball of doom.

 _Why didn't you tell me you and Wendy were getting married today?_

"Okay, first, we're handfasting. It's technically not marriage," said Dipper. "Even if it _was_ marriage, I'd still be cockblocked by my godly super-sperm."

Fenris tilted his head to the side, his overly large ears flopping into each other. _Sorry to interrupt, but… how can you be cockblocked by your own sperm?_

Dipper sighed. "Wendy has to learn some contraceptive spell before we can get to any consummating… otherwise, the chances of us making a little tree-goat-god baby are like, ninety-nine out of one hundred or something. Look at me dude. Do I look ready to be a parent?"

Fenris sneezed.

"Exactly," said Dipper. "Now it's your turn to tell me who told you that Wendy and I are handfasting _today_. That's news to me! Last I heard, Beithe was going to discuss the ceremony with Puck and Cernunnos."

 _That's who I heard it from. They were discussing it when I went to find some breakfast this morning. Now, the reason I would be tempted to piss in your shoes, if you wore shoes, is that last night, when I asked you about the fallout from the whole bath situation, that is the point at which you should have mentioned the handfasting. That's kind of big news, buddy. I've run with you all over realm and creation, and fought trolls with you, and talked my sister into bringing you BACK FROM THE DEAD—all so you could rescue Wendy. Is it too much to ask for you to let me know that all I did for you was worth it, and that you're getting your happily ever after?_

Dipper hung his head. "Sorry, man. I really do appreciate everything you've done to help me. You don't even have anything at stake here, but you've fought just as hard as I have. You're a good friend." He scratched Fenris behind the ears, and the puppy leaned into him blissfully. "I never would have thought that the Norse god of destruction, prophesied to bring about the apocalypse, would be a romantic," Dipper mused.

Fenris lay down with his head on his paws, and heaved a sigh.

 _The thing about prophesies, Dipper, is that once they're made, they can't be undone. I don't_ want _to destroy the world. I like the world. It has steak, and flowers, and bumblebees. Only a monster would_ want _to destroy bumblebees. I don't want to be a monster._

"Aw, you're not a monster, Fenris," said Dipper gently, stroking the top of the puppy's head.

 _But I_ will be _someday. That's why all the gods here hate me. They think I'm inherently evil. But destruction isn't inherently evil. It's the intent behind it. You can't have the newly budding life of spring, without first experiencing the killing frosts of winter._

CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.

Dipper and Fenris both jumped, startled. They turned to see Puck strolling into the room, slow-clapping.

"That was just beautiful, Fenris," simpered Puck. "And may I say, what an _adorable_ little bromance you two have going on."

"Ye gods, doesn't anyone in this realm know how to knock?" asked Dipper. "First Beithe walks in on me and Wendy, then you barge in here like you own the place."

Puck grinned widely, and puffed his chest out. "Now that my brother is grounded, I kind of do. Although I'm relegating all the boring ruling stuff to Cernunnos. He's going to be regent whenever I'm away from the Green Realm, which is to say, almost always."

 _So are you going back into the Mundane with Dipper and the rest of us?_

"Oh, absolutely," confirmed Puck, nodding vigorously. "There's no television here. It's dreadfully boring."

Dipper threw his covers off, then realized the towel around his waist had come off in his sleep. He immediately threw the covers back over himself.

"Did either of you happen to see my loincloth lying around?" he asked. "Wendy was supposed to get Bork or one of the other brownies to wash it for me, and bring it to my room."

"Oh, yeah, that was laying on a chair out in your front room. Fenris, would you be a dear and go fetch?"

 _When I take a larger form again, remind me to bite you,_ said Fenris, as he hopped off the end of the bed, onto a low stool, and then down to the floor.

"Oh yes, I'll be sure to do that," said Puck. Then, in an aside to Dipper, he mock whispered "I'm really not planning to do that."

 _Suck a nut, Mr. Tumnus._

Dipper laughed as Fenris trotted out of the bedchamber. After a moment, he returned, with Dipper's freshly laundered loincloth in his mouth. Dipper leaned over the side of the bed to take it from him.

 _Sorry about the slobber._

"No big," said Dipper, as he maneuvered the garment onto himself under the blankets. Finally, he emerged. He stood up of the bed, and tugged on the loincloth to straighten it.

"Ah… a bath, a good night's sleep, and clean laundry," said Dipper with a happy sigh. "I feel almost human again."

Fenris sneezed, which seemed to be his way of laughing. _Too bad you're not, Goat Boy._

"Yes, I'm aware," said Dipper, wryly. "You'll notice I chose to use the qualifier 'almost.'"

"Okay," said Puck, clapping his hands together. "Do you have any unfinished business in the Green Realm before we head back to the Mundane?"

"Not that I can think of," replied Dipper. "Well, I'd like to smack Cernunnos around a bit, for groping my girlfriend and killing me."

"Yeah, not happening," said Puck. "I think appointing him regent, and then allowing my protégé to smack him around would send the wrong message. Anything else? Any gear you need to bring back with you?"

"Uh, I think Grenda has the backpack with all our supplies now, so no, I guess," said Dipper with a shrug.

"Okay then, come with me. Dipper, you better pick Fenris up," said Puck.

 _I can walk just fine on my own, thank you._

"Oh, but we're not walking," said Puck with a wink.

 _Ohhh. Yeah, go ahead and pick me up, Dipper._

"Whatever," said Dipper, as he bent down to pick up the pudgy ball of fluff. "When are we going back to Gravity Falls, anyway?"

"Oh, right about…" Puck looked down at his wrist, then looked up again and giggled. "No watch."

"So when are we leaving?" Dipper asked again.

Puck smiled warmly, and reached out to touch Dipper's shoulder. "Now."

/

"What do you _mean_ Puck already took him back to the Mundane?" cried Wendy. "I thought we were all going together!"

"Calm down, sweetie," said Beithe, resting her hand on her daughter's arm. "Puck took him back to prepare for the ceremony. Plus, it is tradition that the groom doesn't see the bride until the wedding. Now come, let's find you a dress to wear in this enormous wardrobe of yours. The brownies really outdid themselves!"

"I thought you said it wasn't really a wedding?" said Grenda, confused, as she followed the mother and daughter into the small room containing Wendy's numerous dresses.

"It is, and it isn't," said Bork, who was riding on her shoulder. The young brownie had really taken to the troll-kin, and she to him.

"What does that even mean?!" exclaimed Grenda. "Gods are weird."

"Very weird," whispered the brownie, with a giggle.

"I heard that!" called Beithe from the back of the closet.

Wendy wandered among the beautiful garments, overwhelmed with her choices. If she was going to wear this dress for the most important day of her life thus far, it had to be special. However, she didn't want something glitzty and covered with jewels and lace. Glitter and sparkles were Mabel's thing, not hers. Wendy took another look that the winter-themed dresses. It was late December, and although the Green Realm remained spring-like year-round, the temperature was likely to be hovering around freezing in the Mundane.

"What about this one, Wyn?" asked Beithe, holding up a white, lace-covered dress.

"Ew, mom, no," said Wendy. "It looks like a doily."

"There's a really pretty pink one over here!" called Grenda, from the other side of the closet.

"Grenda, have you _ever_ seen me wear pink?" asked Wendy, as she continued to thumb through the dresses.

"No," replied Grenda.

"There's a reason why," said Wendy.

"Why?" asked the curious troll-kin.

"Because I hate it," said Wendy simply.

"I may have a suggestion you would like," piped up a small voice. "I helped make it, and you haven't worn it yet. I think it would be beautiful on you. Grenda, can we go over near where Wendy is, in the winter dresses?"

Grenda walked him over, and he began scanning the frocks. Beithe joined them, as he found the dress he was looking for, and pointed it out to Wendy.

"Bork," breathed Wendy. "It's perfect."

/

Mabel clutched the spear tightly, sweat pouring down her face. Her long brown hair was swept up in a loose bun, with a few tendrils springing loose and curling from the moisture. She was barefoot, and her usual turtleneck sweater and skirt had been exchanged for a tight, hot pink tank top and black yoga pants, even though it was cold enough outside that her breath was visible. She ran at Arden, screaming, the deadly point of her spear aimed directly at the goddess's heart.

Arden easily parried the attack, sweeping Mabel's spear aside like it was a foam cosplay sword.

"Weak!" cried the goddess, her curls bouncing like a dark mane around her face, as she twirled her spear, and in one swift move, knocked Mabel's feet out from under her. She planted the butt of her spear in the ground, and leaned against it as she stared down at the prone form of her chosen champion.

"You cannot keep running directly at me like that, Mabel. I know to expect it. And work on your grip—I nearly knocked the spear right out of your hands." She bent over and held a hand out. Mabel grasped the offered hand, and groaned as she stood up.

"I didn't realize protecting the Gravnemeta was going to involve you knocking me on my rump for hours on end," said Mabel, brushing dirt off her backside.

"It is going to for awhile," said Arden, glancing around the sacred grove. "I have to make sure you will be a competent protector before I can risk leaving you here alone for any amount of time. And I have not even begun to teach you about herbalism, laying traps, or invoking wards of protection."

Mabel sighed. "Okay, I think I'm ready for you to kick my butt again. You come at me this time." She walked a few paces away from Arden, planted her feet firmly in the cold soil, and adjusted her grip on the spear, ready to use it for defense instead of offense.

Arden crouched, ready to leap at Mabel, when her eyes went wide.

"Mabel, something's coming. Go hide in the trees!" she whispered.

"But—" started the younger girl.

"Now!" cried Arden.

The urgency in the goddess's voice prompted Mabel to turn and run. Once she reached the tree line, she turned and watched as Arden slowly walked toward the massive oak tree at the center of the Gravnemeta.

A rapid change in air pressure caused Mabel's ears to pop, and a crashing noise like thunder rent the air. In a bright flash of light, something, or someone arrived in the Gravnemeta.

/

At Puck's touch, Dipper felt like he had been struck by lightning. He scrunched his eyes shut and held a hand to his head. With his other hand, he clutched Fenris tightly to his chest.

"What the actual _fuck_ did you just do?!" Dipper screamed, his eyes still closed tightly, as he fought against the searing pain in his head, and the sudden urge to vomit.

 _Ah, Puck, a little help here? I think he's going to hork._

Dipper felt Fenris being pulled out of his grasp. "My apologies, Dipper," said Puck, as he sat Fenris on the ground. "I hadn't considered that you would probably have a strong physical reaction to your first time popping from one realm to another."

"Realm… wait, what?!" cried Dipper. He then realized that the breeze he felt was actually quite cold. He slowly opened his eyes, as the pain and nausea faded away. He blinked, looking around. He, Puck, and Fenris were standing in front of the massive oak tree at the center of the sacred grove—the place from which he and Grenda had entered the Green Realm.

"Oh. Puck. It's you," said a sulky female voice from behind them.

Dipper, Puck, and Fenris whipped around, and found themselves face to face with a young woman with untamed coal-black curls which were accentuated by small antlers, and who was dressed in a leather jerkin, her green tights tucked into tall, cuffed leather boots. She gripped a spear loosely with both hands.

"Who's the deer-pirate lady?" asked Dipper, one eyebrow raised. Fenris sneezed.

Puck opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a high-pitched shriek from the edge of the clearing.

"DIPPER!"

The new god of mischief turned to see a pink and black blur hurtling at him.

"Mabel?! What are you doing all the way—oof!"

Mabel took a flying leap, and hug-tackled her brother, sending them sprawling onto the ground, nearly landing on Fenris.

 _Woah, please don't smush the puppy!_ said Fenris with a small whine.

"Sorry, Fenris," said Dipper, disentangling himself from his sister. "Mabes, this is Fenris."

 _Nice to meet you. Dipper says you're going to lose your shit. Apparently I'm "just too damn cute."_

Mabel seemed not to hear him.

"Oh my _gosh_ , Dipper, you got a _puppy?!_ " she squealed. Still sitting on the ground, she reached forward to grab Fenris, and held him to her chest.

 _Well, aren't we a little forward?_

"Honestly, he's not really mine, Mabel," said Dipper. He struggled to his hooves, and gave Mabel a hand up, while she still clutched Fenris with her other arm.

 _I'm the Norse god of—_

"Whose is he, then? Yours?" she turned to ask Puck. "Who are _you_ , for that matter?"

The elder god swept a low bow. "Puck, god of mischief and mayhem, at your service." He grinned, as he said "And no, Fenris is not mine."

 _I'm right here, you know. Are you ignoring me on purpose?_

"Mabel, he's not really anyone's," said Dipper. "He's actually—"

Mabel squeed and hugged Fenris, then held him up to her face. "Can we keep him Dipper, _pleeeease_?"

 _Hello? Pretty girl? Guys, I've never tried to mindspeak with a pure human before. I-I don't think she can hear me._

Arden stepped forward with a disapproving frown. "Mabel, you do not understand. That is not a normal puppy. He is actually a—"

"REALLY rare breed from the Green Realm!" interrupted Puck, grinning excitedly. He nudged Dipper.

"Oh, yeah, _super_ rare," added Dipper with a chuckle. "And yes, he can stay with us, Mabel."

 _Dipper… I am_ so _going to pee in your bed._

"Mabel, I really must protest—" began Arden.

"Oh, I almost forgot to introduce you!" cried Mabel. "Dipper, this is Arden. She's a goddess, and I'm gonna be her priestess/ass-kicking champion. Arden, this is my brother, Dipper. I already told you about him. He went to rescue Wendy…who…is… wait. Where's Wendy, Dipper? Didn't you rescue her? And… oh my gosh, is Grenda okay?!"

Dipper laid a comforting hand on Mabel's shoulder. "I did indeed rescue Wendy. Grenda helped, a lot. She's actually kind of awesome. They're both fine. They will be returning to our realm today, with Wendy's mom."

"Wait… Wendy's _mom_?!" screeched Mabel. "Dipper, I literally can't even right now. You have to tell me _everything._ "

"Actually," interjected Puck, "it is quite fortuitous that you and your very excitable priestess-in-training are out here, Arduinna. I have been tasked with preparing the Gravnemeta for a handfasting ritual, to take place at nightfall, and honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. You've always been better at that kind of thing. Will you help me? Dipper can take Fenris and his sister back to town to notify Wendy's family (and their few friends that know about all this god business) about tonight's celebration, and get all fancy…or whatever it is humans do before they get married."

Arden cast a glance at Dipper, who grinned widely at her, with his hands clasped in front of him. "Please, lady? It's Puck. If you make him prepare for the ritual by himself he'll probably turn the whole thing into a series of pranks."

"Very well," said Arden, with a nod and a small smile. "Dipper, Mabel, you should head back to town now. It is a fair walk, and nightfall comes early this time of the year."

Mabel, whose eyes had gone wide when she had heard Puck say "Dipper," "Wendy," and "married" in the same breath, turned to her brother.

"Okay, if what I think is happening tonight is, in fact what is happening tonight, I _really_ need you to tell me everything."

Dipper laughed. "Come on sis, I'll tell you on the way back to town. And then you get to tell me about this whole 'becoming a priestess' thing."

Dipper and Mabel waved to their respective mentors, and turned to begin their trek back to Gravity Falls; the Norse god of destruction curled up, fast asleep, in Mabel's arms.

/

Dipper and Mabel entered the Mystery Shack through the house entrance, as opposed to the gift shop entrance. Dipper wasn't fond of the idea of running into any tourists who would take pictures of him, thinking he was one of the exhibits.

"Soos? Melody?" called Mabel, as they walked into the living room. Fenris, still cradled against her chest, stretched and yawned, blinking sleepily.

 _Your sister smells like candy._

Dipper laughed. "I'm not surprised. You should see the amount of sugar she eats."

"What?" asked Mabel. "Who are you talking to, Dipstick?"

"Oh, uh…no one," he said. "I was just remembering the punchline to a really funny joke."

 _You ass. You really aren't going to tell her I'm not a normal dog, are you?_

Dipper smiled and shook his head in the negative.

"Soos? Mel?" Mabel called out again.

Pacifica stuck her head through the door connecting the house to the shop. "They're not here right now, Mabel. They…Dipper! You're back!" She was through the door in a flash, and before Dipper could react, she had her arms wrapped tightly around his shirtless torso.

Dipper looked at Mabel, confused. He awkwardly patted Pacifica on the top of the head.

"Get it out of your system now, Paz. Dipper and Wendy are getting _married_ tonight!" said Mabel, with a hint of evil glee.

Pacifica shot back from Dipper as if electrocuted. " _Married_?! That lucky bitch…"

Dipper sighed. "Mabel, I told you… handfasting isn't technically marriage."

 _Dipper, stop trying to fool yourself, man. You're essentially getting married tonight._

"Dipper, stop trying to get around it," said Mabel. "You're committing yourself to Wendy tonight, in an ancient, ritualistic ceremony. You're getting married, bro-bro."

 _Dipper—your sister? I like._

"Don't you get any ideas, Fenris," said Dipper, shaking a finger at the bundle of fur in Mabel's arms.

The puppy whimpered, and cocked his head to the side.

"Uh…Dipper…Fenris isn't doing anything?" said Mabel, narrowing her eyes at her brother. "Did becoming a god break your brain or something?"

"Holy crap, what a cute puppy!" cried Pacifica, brushing past Dipper to pet Fenris. Apparently the news that Dipper was getting married was enough to snap Pacifica out of pining after the newly handsomed-up male Pines twin.

 _Dude, I am liking this realm_ said Fenris, as the two girls fawned over him.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Mabel, since Soos and Melody aren't here right now, why don't you wait for them, so you can explain about…well, everything. I'll be back an hour or two before nightfall, to walk with you to the sacred grove." He reached out, and pulled Fenris out of Mabel's hands.

"Aw, you're taking the puppy with you?" whined Mabel. Pacifica crossed her arms over her chest and pouted at Dipper.

"Sorry, guys, but I'm gonna need him for moral support," said Dipper, with a shrug. He sat Fenris down, and the god of destruction immediately began sniffing around the room.

"Moral support?" asked Pacifia. "Why?"

Dipper took a deep breath, and paused, before slowly letting it out.

"Because I'm about to go talk to Wendy's dad."

 _Oh, this is gonna be interesting._

/

"You still haven't told me why you're here, Arduinna," said Puck, as he nonchalantly conjured seating for the ceremony to be held later. "This has been my home for decades. Why is it suddenly of interest to other gods?"

The goddess picked up a fallen oak branch, and used it to draw a circle in the soil large enough for three people to stand inside. "I did not know this was your home, Puck. Nobody knew where you were. I only found out from Mabel a few days ago that you were here."

"That doesn't tell me why you're suddenly so interested in protecting the Gravnemeta," said Puck. He picked up a handful of dirt, whispered to it, and then tossed it up into the air, where the cloud of dust was transformed into tiny specks of light that hovered low over the clearing.

"Something has happened," said Arden, as she began walking the perimeter of the clearing, picking up small dry twigs which had fallen from all the different trees. "There has been a shift. The Green Realm is no longer at the center of the realms. It has been displaced by the Mundane Realm. The Gravnemeta is now the exact center—the nexus point that all other realms touch. You know what that means—what types of beasts and gods could enter. _That_ is why I am here, and am training a champion."

"Oh," said Puck. "Yeah, that's definitely not good. This place is weird enough already." He scratched his chin. "Out of curiosity, when did this shift occur?"

"About four months ago," said Arden. She returned to the circle, and laid the sticks in the center, piled as kindling for a very small fire.

"Weirdmageddon," whispered Puck. "That godsdamned interdimensional dorito."

"I am sorry, but are you speaking actual words?" asked Arden, looking up from her task.

"I know what caused the shift," said Puck, with a sigh. "Luckily, the source has already been dealt with. By our protégés, and my protégé's bride-to-be, in fact. It's unfortunate that although they've saved the world once already, they have to continue saving it."

"Well, I'm going to be here, training Mabel, and helping protect the Gravnemeta too," said Arden. "Now that you know the stakes, won't you help protect it with us?"

"Psh," said Puck, waving his hand lazily. "Absolutely not. I would miss way too much good t.v."

/

Refreshed from his nap in Mabel's arms, Fenris bounced and trotted as he followed Dipper through the woods toward the Corduroy cabin.

 _What are you going to tell him? I mean, he'll be happy you rescued Wendy and her mom, right? So, you shouldn't be too scared to tell him you're marrying his only daughter tonight._

Dipper was trembling slightly, and not just from the cold. "Fenris, you haven't seen this guy. He's called _Manly_ Dan for a reason. He's huge, and scary, and good with an axe."

 _But he's a normal mortal, right? So, he can't kill you, even if he tries._

"Well, yeah," said Dipper. "But that doesn't mean that being bludgeoned into a pulp by him would feel _good_ , or anything."

Fenris sneezed. _I suppose not_. _Too bad someone else couldn't tell him instead of you._

Dipper came to an abrupt halt, causing Fenris to run into the back of his legs.

"Fenris, dude. You just gave me an idea," said Dipper, grinning. He bent down and scooped up the puppy, and trotted the rest of the way to the Corduroy home at a brisk pace.

 _Your sister gave me a much more comfortable ride_ complained Fenris, as they entered the clearing that was still strung with Wendy's fairy lights.

"Ugh, don't say that," said Dipper. "That just sounds…wrong." He sat Fenris down, and walked the rest of the way toward the house.

As he made for the front door, he heard the dull THWACK of firewood being split coming from the back of the cabin. Dipper made his way around back, instead.

Manly Dan Corduroy stood, axe in the air over his shoulder, ready to split another piece of wood, when he saw Dipper round the corner. He cocked his head to the side, and slowly lowered the axe to the ground.

Fenris stopped in his tracks behind Dipper. _Oh. He_ is _a big human._

"H-hi Mr. Corduroy," stammered Dipper.

Manly Dan's eyes widened in recognition. "Dipper Pines! Where's my Wendy?! And what the hell is going on with your bottom half…and your forehead?"

Dipper held his palms up. "First of all, don't worry—Wendy is safe, and unharmed. As for my furrier and hornier—oh gods—horned parts: I kind got myself turned into a god of mischief, in order to get into the Green Realm to rescue her."

"If she's safe, why isn't she here?!" asked Manly Dan sharply, advancing toward Dipper.

Dipper took a step back, nearly tripping over Fenris. "She will be back tonight. She had something to take care of in the Green Realm before coming home. You know the sacred grove where you handfasted your wife? The entrance to the Green Realm is there. Wendy would love you and your sons to meet her there at nightfall tonight."

Manly Dan stared blankly at Dipper for a moment, before breaking into a huge grin. He crossed the distance between himself and Dipper in two strides, and picked the young satyr up off the ground in a rib-crushing hug.

"Thank you for rescuing my baby girl!" said the lumberjack, his voice slightly choked up. "I can never repay you!"

"Can't—breathe," Dipper managed to squeak out.

Manly Dan sat Dipper back on his hooves. "I gotta go tell the boys! Will you be there tonight, too?"

Dipper grinned as he rubbed his ribs. "You better believe it."

As Dan ran back into the cabin to tell Wendy's brothers the good news, Fenris stood on his hind legs, placing his front paws on Dipper's knees.

 _Uh, Dipper, you didn't tell him about you handfasting his daughter, or the fact that we rescued his wife as well._

Dipper winked at the puppy. "That was the idea. I'm hoping the shock and joy of seeing Beithe again after six years will outweigh the surprise and dismay of his daughter getting married."

Fenris sneezed. _And if it doesn't, at least there will be other people and gods around to keep the bloodshed to a minimum._

Dipper's grin faltered slightly. "R-right. Well, now that this has been taken care of, let's get back to the Mystery Shack. I have a handfasting to get ready for."

/

/

/

/

Guys, guys, guys, I am so glad to be back! I've missed writing this story. It makes me happy. I hope it makes y'all happy as well. Please continue to let me know what you think. Your feedback is invaluable to me. In a sort of related note, I have a tumblr, also under the name Geekngroom, where I post my fanart and other random crap. Feel free to follow me!

Now let's get to it: FullMetalKhaos, you take teenage angst to a whole new level. I love your story, and I'm glad you're enjoying mine. TGGDSD: Thank you for being awesome, friend. I really look forward to your story updates.

Shoutouts to my reviewers—every time I get a new review it makes my day, so thank you all so much: ZOmegaLupus, TGGDSG, MegaPrimo1, pittbuck, Dexay, The Shadow Wolfe, Guest, supertexaslonghorn, fereality, ookami738, Ghost Man, scroghmc, LimboticMistisos, BIueFish, ZekeSquirrel, and arcaneboss.

Until next time, loves!

-Geeky


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

The sun cast its weak winter afternoon glow over the forest, as Dipper and Fenris returned to the Mystery Shack. It felt late in the day, even though it was only half past three. There were no cars in the tourist parking lot, so Dipper felt comfortable enough to enter through the gift shop.

"Hey, Soos!" said Dipper cheerfully, spotting the former handyman setting up a display of new merchandise. Fenris trotted up to Soos and yipped a greeting. "Oh, this little god of destruction is Fenris. He says hi."

The current Mr. Mystery turned around from the stocking he was doing, and grinned, kneeling to pet the puppy. Then he looked up at Dipper.

"Hey Dip—woah, dude—still not used to seeing you with a goat butt," said Soos, standing up. "Mabel tells me you and Wendy are gonna like, hold hands and get married this evening? Did I get that right?"

"Pretty much, yeah," said Dipper with a shrug. "We're handfasting."

"Not to freak you out or anything, dude," said Soos, "but…why aren't you freaking out?"

"Um, what?" asked Dipper, perplexed. Fenris sneezed.

"Dude. Only like a week ago you were a thirteen-year-old boy," said Soos, his arms folded over his chest. "Now you're like, a god, a satyr, and _getting married_. Also, why _married_? You only just started dating."

"Um…well," said Dipper. "I mean, I love Wendy, and everything just kind of fell into place…"

 _What, you're not going to tell him that you have so little self-control as a satyr that Wendy's mom would prefer you to at least be married when the inevitable happens and you impregnate her daughter?_

"Uh, Dipper—why are you looking at the puppy like that?" asked Soos, noticing Dipper's scowl.

"Huh? Oh, I smelled something. I think he farted."

Fenris heaved a sigh. _Nice._

Soos cocked his head to the side. "Moving along. Seriously though, hambone. I know I'm not your parent or whatever. But I kind of feel like a big brother to you and Mabel, and I just want to know you're okay, and not, like, being pressured into anything you're not ready for."

Dipper smiled, his eyes a little wetter than normal. "Thanks, Soos. But don't worry, I'm not being pressured. And as far as I'm concerned, you are family, man. It's nice to know Mabel and I have an older brother looking out for us." He stepped forward and hugged the large man-child. Soos returned the hug, lifting Dipper off the floor.

Fenris' ears twitched. _Aren't you two just precious._

As Soos sat Dipper back on his hooves, he cleared his throat.

"Oh, uh. Speaking of Mabel…I'm kind of worried about her, dude." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, she told me about how her friend Arden is really a goddess, and she's going to help her protect the Gravel Meadows from other soap bubbles…honestly, I'm confused by the whole thing. All I know is she goes out into the forest, without a coat, _barefoot_ , for hours at a time, and when she comes back she's exhausted, and covered in scratches and bruises. I've tried to bring it up, but she brushes me off. Maybe you can talk to her? Mabel acts fine, but I've heard her crying in the bathroom, when she thought the shower was drowning out the noise."

Fenris let out a tiny growl, but didn't say anything.

Dipper felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Mabel had told him that she was training with Arden, but he hadn't really paid attention to the fact that her arms were covered in bruises, or that he could _see_ her arms at all, when she should have been wearing a coat due to the low temperature. Dipper had adjusted to being shirtless all the time while in the Green Realm, and although he felt the cold now that he was back in Gravity Falls, it didn't really bother him. Mabel, however, was still human, and had to have been freezing.

"I'll talk to her Soos, I promise," said Dipper, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Good," said Soos.

Dipper turned to head further into the Mystery Shack to prepare for his upcoming nuptials, when Soos called out to stop him.

"Oh, hey, wait Dipper! There's one more thing I'm confused about. You're hand-marrying Wendy tonight, and Mabel has pledged herself to a goddess, and vowed to stay here and protect the Grav…thing. But you're supposed to leave for Piedmont in two days. What are you going to do about that?"

Dipper stopped in his tracks. "Oh…. Oh, shit."

/

Although the sky was beginning to darken, the Gravnemeta was lit with an ethereal glow, from the thousands of tiny, hovering pinpricks of light that Puck had conjured to decorate for the ceremony. Arden had to admit, she was impressed with Puck's handiwork. He had not only created the lighting, he had conjured two rows of chairs, separated by a center aisle that was covered in a thick layer of fog near the ground, so that whoever walked on it would appear to be walking on clouds. Arden smiled to herself. Puck had always had a flair for the dramatic.

In fact, he had dramatically left the Gravnemeta abruptly, only minutes ago. He'd said he had an idea, and that he would be back in time for the ceremony.

Arden was putting the finishing touches on the makeshift altar she'd pieced together with naturally fallen materials from the surrounding trees, when she felt the familiar tug of someone seeking entrance to the Gravnemeta in the pit of her stomach. It was not as strong as when Puck had appeared, because he had torn open his own temporary portal between realms, which meant, instead, that someone was entering through the oak portal from the Green Realm.

The giant tree appeared to be yawning, as the portal opened slowly, until three shadowy figures walked forward.

Actually, there were four, as once Arden could see them clearly, she noticed a young brownie riding on the shoulder of a beefy-looking brunette. Then her eyes meandered to the two willowy redheads accompanying her, and she shrieked in surprise.

"Beithe?!" Arden ran forward and threw herself at her old friend.

"Arden! It has been so long!" laughed Beithe.

"Where were you? Why did you not tell Cerny and me where you were being sent? We worried!" said Arden, pulling out of Beithe's embrace, and holding her at arm's length.

"I was in the Green Realm the whole time," said Beithe sadly. "My father decided the keep me trapped in my tree form as punishment for my disobedience."

Arden opened her mouth to speak again, but was cut off by a grunt from the stout brunette. "Cerny?"

The goddess of the sacred wild raised an eyebrow at the girl, who she now recognized as troll-kin. "Yes…my brother, Cernunnos. You know of him?" She was startled by sudden, raucous laughter from the other redhead, who could only be Beithe's daughter—the resemblance was uncanny.

"Arden, forgive my poor manners. This young woman to my right is Grenda, and her companion is the brownie Bork. To my left, is my daughter, Wyn Dahlia, although she prefers to go by Wendy. And yes, she and Cernunnos became acquainted quite recently."

Wendy snorted, which made her laugh even harder. "Sorry!" she said through a fit of giggles. She bent over trying to catch her breath, and held up a finger. "One moment."

Arden stared curiously at Wendy, then met Beithe's eyes. "Is she… okay?"

Beithe rolled her eyes. "She is fine—just a teenager. Well, she might also have a slight case of bridal nerves."

"Oh, so it is your daughter who is marrying the new god of mischief!" said Arden. "I only met him today, although my new champion speaks very highly of him. She honestly only has good things to say about Dipper."

Wendy's head snapped up, and she was no longer laughing. "She? Who is _she_?"

Arden stepped back, surprised by the sudden ferocity of Wendy's gaze. "His sister, Mabel."

Wendy's entire demeanor relaxed, and she smiled. "Oh, okay."

"What?! Is Mabel like, a goddess now?" asked Grenda excitedly.

Arden shook her head. "No, she is still human, but I am going to be teaching her some basic warding and healing magics when she is ready. Right now she is learning to wield a pole-arm and bow."

"That is so COOL!" cried Grenda. "Can I come train with her sometime?"

"If you have the aptitude, I don't see why not," said Arden with a shrug.

"Ahem," came a tiny cough from Grenda's shoulder. "Sorry to interrupt, but it is almost nightfall, and we still have to tend to Wendy's hair."

Beithe smiled at the brownie. "No need to be sorry, Bork. You are quite correct. Arden, we will have to catch up later. For now, we are going to find a spot nearby in the trees so that Wendy won't be visible to Dipper when he enters the clearing."

Arden nodded. "I will come fetch you when it is time for the ceremony."

The small group made their way into the trees, and found a small clearing with a fallen log laying across it only about eight meters from the tree line. Wendy sat on the log, and her mother stood behind her, brushing her hair. She then began working on an intricate braid.

"Mom, what's wrong?" asked Wendy softly, not wanting Grenda and Bork to overhear their private conversation.

"Nothing, sweetie. Why would you think there's anything wrong?" said Beithe.

"Your hands are shaking."

"Oh," said Beithe. "It's just nerves, I suppose. Partly because my little girl is handfasting her beloved tonight, but also because…"

"Because…?" prompted Wendy.

Beithe sighed. "I haven't seen your father in six years, Wendy. I'm worried that he may have changed… or that he may not be happy to see me. Has he… I know this is awkward, so feel free to not answer me," said Beithe, her voice quavering slightly, "but has your father seen—that is to say, dated—other women since I've been gone?"

Wendy jerked her head around so fast that the braid Beithe had been working on slipped out of her hand and began to unravel. "Mom, no. Never. If I know anything about daddy, it's that he only ever had eyes for you."

Beithe smiled, tears in her eyes, as she put her hands on either side of Wendy's head, moving it back into position, and starting the braid all over again.

"Thank you, Wendy. I suppose if I'm to be worried about anything, it should be about your father's reaction to his baby girl getting married. It's a good thing Dipper is a god now, because otherwise, Dan would probably kill him."

Wendy laughed weakly. "Oh yeah…crap."

/

"Dipper, are you going to be in there much longer? The Mystery Shack is starting to smell like wet goat!" Pacifica called through the bathroom door. "We have to leave soon if you don't want to show up late for your own wedding!"

The water cut off, and Pacifica could hear the shower curtain being drawn back. "Sorry," replied Dipper. "I tried to teach myself how to shave before I got in the shower. It…did not go well."

With a loud whir, Mabel's hairdryer cut on, and the smell of goat intensified. Pacifica wrinkled her nose, and went to check on Mabel, who was in her room, panicking over what one should wear to a handfasting between gods, held in a sacred grove.

"What about this one?" she asked, as Pacifica walked through the door.

"What?" asked Pacifica.

Mabel turned around, holding a grey sweater-dress up against herself. She blushed.

"I was, uh, talking to Fenris," she said, nodding her head in the direction of the wooly black puppy sitting on her bed.

Pacifica arched an eyebrow. "And was the dog talking back?"

Fenris surprised her by standing on his hind legs and yipping once, very clearly, then dropping back to all fours.

Mabel grinned. "He _is_ from the Green Realm, after all. He's got to be magical somehow. I was just talking to myself, but then he started barking or pawing at me like he was answering. He's the cutest thing _ever_."

Fenris stood proudly with his chest puffed out, and whuffed softly.

"Well, I hope he helped you choose," said Pacifica, "because we need to leave like, five minutes ago." She turned on her heel and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Crap," mumbled Mabel. As she began peeling off her garments, Fenris burrowed his head under the bed sheets.

Mabel quickly dressed in the grey sweater-dress, with black tights, a black belt, and a grey headband. As she sat on the bed to put her shoes on, she saw that Fenris had hidden his face. She threw the sheet off of him, laughing.

"Well aren't you just the sweetest little gentleman!" she said, scratching him behind the ears. "Come on, we've got a handfasting to get to!" She picked him up, and nuzzled her face into his neck, then carried him down the stairs.

Everyone was dressed in varying degrees of "fancy." Pacifica just wore the jeans and sweater she'd worn to work that morning, with her squishy purple marshmallow coat completing the ensemble. Melody wore dress slacks, and a flowing blouse, topped with a floor length duster. Soos had gone all out, and was dressed in a tuxedo that he'd just had "laying around," while Dipper was dressed in nothing more than his loincloth, and a very anxious expression.

Mabel noticed Dipper wringing his hands, so she sat Fenris down, and pulled her brother aside as everyone else exited the Mystery Shack into the golden glow of fading daylight.

"Nervous about getting hitched, bro-bro?" she asked.

"Honestly, I'm more worried of how badly Manly Dan will beat me when he finds out I'm marrying Wendy," said Dipper, wiping his sweaty palms on his loincloth.

"Wait—I thought you already told him!?" cried Mabel. "Isn't that why you went over there earlier?"

Dipper grinned and chuckled nervously. "Yeah…about that…"

Fenris pawed at Dipper's legs, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth in his version of a grin. _This is going to be a_ very _interesting evening._

/

The sun had fully set when the group from the Mystery Shack came upon the Gravnemeta. Dipper stopped and stared in awe. The giant oak appeared as if its canopy had been wrapped in multicolored fairy lights, which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be actual fairies flitting among the branches.

Besides the fairies, illumination was also provided by tiny, swirling motes of light, hovering about ten feet above the clearing floor. There were two rows of chairs facing an altar, with a small fire burning before it. The floor of the center aisle between the chairs was shrouded in a heavy mist.

Fenris bounded toward the mist, and sniffed it, sneezing. _Wow, Goat Boy, they really went all out for you. I guess a new elder god marrying Green Realm royalty_ is _kind of a big deal…_

Dipper nodded, mutely. Mabel grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "You got this, bro-bro."

Pacifica approached Dipper and smirked. "It's cute how terrified you look right now. Are you _sure_ you want to handfast with Wendy?"

"Of course I do," said Dipper. Then he gulped. "It's her dad I'm scared of."

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WHERE'S MY WENDY?"

"Oooooh, speak of the devil," said Pacifica, rubbing her hands together in anticipation of some serious drama.

"Oh, she's here somewhere, big dude," said Soos, who, with Melody, had crossed the clearing to stand with Dan and his three sons. "She's probably just finishing up getting ready for the wedding."

"Wedding? Who's getting married?" asked Dan, his confused gaze wandering the clearing.

"Uh, she is, dude. To Dipper. Didn't he tell you? He was supposed to tell you…" Soos trailed off, and backed away, as Dan's face turned a deep shade of crimson, visible even in the low light of the clearing.

"WHAT?!"

"Uh, this is the part where I run into the woods and hide for a bit, okay guys?" whispered Dipper to his companions, as he slowly backed toward the tree line. It was too late. Manly Dan Corduroy saw him. They locked eyes.

"PINES, YOU ARE _DEAD_!" he screamed as he barreled across the clearing, much like a charging bull.

Dipper turned and ran in the direction of the oak tree, while trying to yell out placations to Wendy's father.

"I haven't touched her yet, I swear!" he cried. "Well, I mean, I've _touched_ her, but not—argh!"

Dipper had to dodge a swipe of Dan's enormous hand, as the lumberjack was nearly upon him.

"I've only seen her naked once!" Dipper yelled, and then internally facepalmed.

Dan was too angry to even form words. He just bellowed, as Dipper zig-zagged throughout the Gravnemeta, narrowly avoiding Dan's outstretched arms.

"We—love—each other—Mr. Corduroy," Dipper shouted, gasping for breath. He was beginning to slow, so he tried to mentally prepare himself for lots of pain.

Finally, he felt it—Manly Dan's fist of iron closed around his neck, and lifted him off the ground.

"I'M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING, GOAT-ASSED, WASTE OF CARBON!" Dan roared directly in Dipper's face. "DID YOU THINK ME FINDING OUT YOUR INTENTIONS IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE WOULD LESSEN THAT CHANCE?! WENDY IS MY BABY GIRL, AND SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED, LEAST OF ALL TO THE LIKES OF _YOU_!"

Dan continued screaming, but it started to sound like the crash of ocean waves, as Dipper's vision began to fade to black. Suddenly, an angry, feminine voice cut him off.

"Daniel Bartholomew Corduroy! You put Dipper down this instant!"

Dan's grip on Dipper's neck released, and the satyr collapsed in a gasping heap on the ground, as his vision and hearing returned to normal. He looked up at Dan, who was staring at someone in the distance, slack-jawed.

"B-Beithe?" whispered Dan, his voice hoarse from screaming. His brown eyes began to water over. "Is… is it really you?"

Dipper could hear the smile in Beithe's voice when she said simply, "Yes, Danny. It's me."

As Dipper struggled back to his hooves, Dan was off and running. This time, however, his face, instead of being contorted in rage, was a mask of sheer rapture. As soon as Dan reached Beithe, he picked her up at the waist and twirled her around joyfully, before setting her back on her feet and embracing her in his brawny arms. The couple was a sobbing mess, and they were quickly joined in their sobbing and hugging by Dan and Beithe's three sons, each grasping at the mother they had not seen for six years.

While the Corduroy family had their tearful reunion (sans Wendy, who was still cloistered with Grenda and Bork behind the tree line), everyone else mingled amongst themselves, trying not to be nosy. Arden, who had watched Dan's attempt to strangle Dipper with mild interest, wandered over to her champion's brother, and held her hand out toward him.

"May I?" she asked.

Dipper cocked his head to the side. "May you _what_ , exactly?"

"May I heal the unsightly hand-shaped bruise forming around your neck? It will go away soon enough, due to your godhood, but not before the ceremony," explained Arden. "Unless you'd like to handfast your beloved with a reminder of her father's blatant disapproval ringing your neck."

Dipper touched his still very tender throat. "Oh. Uh, no," he said. Arden frowned at him, one eyebrow raised. "Oh, no, I meant 'no I don't want the reminder of her father's blatant disapproval ringing my neck.' Yes to healing. And thanks," said Dipper, feeling flustered.

Arden nodded, and placed her hand over the bruise. A cooling sensation spread from her hand, and encircled Dipper's neck. She removed her hand and the chill quickly faded. Dipper touched his neck, which no longer felt tender.

"Is it gone?" he asked the goddess. She nodded.

"That was _so cool_!" cried Mabel, who Dipper had not realized had joined them, along with Fenris, clutched in her arms. "Are you gonna teach me to do that, Arden?"

"You will not be able to do exactly that, as you are mortal," said Arden. "However, I will teach you to make potions and poultices that do much the same thing. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to talk to Beithe and see if we may begin the ceremony shortly." She turned and made her way sedately across the clearing to the weeping mess of Corduroys.

"Aww yeah," said Mabel, holding Fenris up to her face. "You hear that? I get to play doctor!"

"Ew, Mabel. Don't say it like that," said Dipper.

Fenris turned to face his friend, and cocked his head to the side, mind-speaking only to Dipper. _I don't get it. Does 'play doctor' have another meaning than its literal one in this realm? She sounds genuinely excited to learn how to treat ill or injured patients._

"Ugh, Fenris. She is, but it sounds—you know what? I'll explain later. Maybe." said Dipper, forgetting he was supposed to be pretending that Fenris was a normal dog, and not a god.

"Um, Dipper, should I have Arden take another look at you?" said Mabel, peering up at her brother with raised brows. "I think the loss of oxygen might have caused some brain damage. You just talked to the puppy like you were having a conversation with him."

 _Come on Dipper, just tell her. She seems like a sweet kid. Why try and fool her?_

Dipper sighed and shook his head. This joke was too complicated to try and continue, anyway.

"Okay sis, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Fenris is the Norse God of Destruction. He can't talk to mortals, but I can hear him in my head. So if it seems like I'm talking to him, it's because I am."

Mabel looked from the puppy in her arms, to Dipper, and back to the puppy in her arms. And she burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh Dipper, you said that with a straight face and everything! You're just trying to play a joke on me! The Norse God of Destruction… seriously?! Do you think I'm that dumb?"

 _Wait. No. This isn't how it's supposed to go!_

Dipper smirked. He told the truth, and she still didn't believe him. Now if he talked to Fenris in front of her she'd probably just assume he was messing with her. Win-win!

"Nope, he's really Fenrir, the Great Wolf," said Dipper, reaching out to scratch Fenris behind the ears. "He just prefers dog form unless he has to fight a big bad."

"Oh right, okay," said Mabel sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She flipped Fenris over in her arms like she was holding a baby, and began to rock him back and forth. "Such a ferocious little man, yes him is! Yes him is!"

 _Dipper, make it stop._

"Mabel, he says he wants you to stop," said Dipper, trying to hold back laughter. "He doesn't like what you're doing."

"Aw… but what if I give him BELLY RUBS!" cried Mabel, as she began scratching Fenris' pudgy puppy tummy. He squirmed, and one of his back legs started repetitively kicking the air.

Dipper couldn't hold back his laughter anymore.

Fenris sighed, resigned. _I hate you, Dipper._

While Dipper and Mabel were laughing at Fenris' expense, Soos wandered over to join them. Arden and Beithe were having a very earnest-looking conversation with Dan (hopefully meaning the handfasting could begin soon), while Melody and Pacifica talked to the Corduroy boys.

"Hey, dude," said Soos, fidgeting with his bowtie. "I'm sorry I, like, almost got you killed by Manly Dan. If I had known you didn't tell him about marrying Wendy I wouldn't have blurted it out like that."

"It's okay, Soos," said Dipper, patting his back. "I should have told you. With everything going on, it slipped my mind. But by his reaction, you can see why I didn't want to tell him with no one else around, right?"

"You have a point," nodded Soos. He sighed, glancing around the Gravnemeta, the glow of fairy's lights reflecting in his eyes. "It's a real shame your Grunkles couldn't be here. Stan might not be too impressed with all this, but Ford would have a field day! Can you imagine his face?"

Dipper smiled. "Ford would be seriously geeking out. He'd probably want to run all sorts of tests on me, make me do magic for him and stuff. I really miss him."

"And Grunkle Stan _would too_ be impressed," said Mabel, wiggling her eyebrows. "He would have loved watching Dipper get chased down by Manly Dan. Probably would have started a betting pool."

 _I hope I get to meet this "Stan." He sounds like my kind of guy._

"I'm _way_ ahead of you," said a voice from behind them. Dipper whirled around.

"Puck! Where've you been?" asked Dipper.

 _You missed Wendy's dad strangling Dipper. It was really funny!_

"Sorry I'm a bit late to the festivities. It turns out I had some business to attend to off the coast of South Africa," said Puck, very pleased with himself. "Consider this my wedding gift to you, Dipper."

Puck gestured into the copse of trees behind him, before quietly slipping away to seek out Arden. Out of the shadows stepped the two very confused looking Grunkles.

"GRUNKLE STAN!" screamed Mabel, as Dipper simultaneously cried "Grunkle Ford!"

The younger twins launched themselves at the older twins, Mabel dropping Fenris to the ground in the process.

The puppy let out a small whimper. _It's cool. I wanted to be down here anyway._

"Dudes, you're back!" said Soos. "Hey everyone," he called to the rest of the group, his hands cupped around his mouth. "The Stans are here!"

As Stan and Ford disentangled themselves from the younger set of twins, they got a proper look at Dipper for the first time.

"Dipper, what on earth—" began Ford, but he was cut off by Stanley's loud exclamation of "GOAT BUTT!" as he pointed a finger at his great nephew.

Ford attempted to speak again. "What is all this? What's going on? Why are you—you look like a satyr? Did you experiment with gene splicing or…?"

Dipper frowned. "Puck didn't tell you anything? At all?"

"Puck? Who the Puck is that?" asked Stan, slapping his knee as he laughed at his own joke.

"Um, the god of mischief… who looks very much like Dipper, what with the goat parts and all," said Mabel. "You showed up with him just now. He's over there talking to Arden."

"Well, being a god does explain how he just suddenly appeared on our boat out in the open ocean, and somehow transported us here," said Ford, scratching his chin, "But I don't recall Tad Strange having any goat parts. And who is Arden?"

"Oh, he showed up as Tad," said Dipper. "Yeah, no, Tad Strange is… I wanna say an 'alter ego' of Puck's? This is going to take a while to explain."

A hand came to rest on Dipper's shoulder, and he turned to face Arden. "Dipper, you will have to allow the others to explain. Dan would like a word with you before we begin the ceremony."

"He's not going to try and strangle me again, is he?" asked Dipper with a nervous chuckle, while he left Soos, Mabel, Pacifica and Melody to attempt a truncated explanation of recent events for the Grunkles.

"If he tries, I will stop him," said Arden, with no hint of humor in her voice.

 _If he tries I will laugh, and then maybe bite his ankle_ ,piped up Fenris, who was following closely at Dipper's heels.

"Thanks?" said Dipper.

He took a deep breath, and braced himself, as he was brought to stand in front of Manly Dan and Beithe. Dan was trying to scowl, but every time he looked at Beithe, the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

"So, Pines. You want to marry my Wendy," said the lumberjack, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Yes, sir," was all Dipper could make himself say.

"Why?" grunted Dan.

Dipper blinked, a tiny seed of rage beginning to bloom in his chest. "Excuse me?"

" _Why_ do _you_ want to marry my daughter?" Dan asked, emphasizing his point by poking Dipper in the chest.

Dipper grabbed Dan's finger and shoved it to the side. He squared his shoulders, and without consciously intending to, began to grow until he was tall enough that he stood eye to eye with Manly Dan Corduroy.

"Take a good look at me, _Dan_. If you remember our previous encounters this past summer, you'll probably note that my goat half and horns are a _recent_ acquisition. I didn't ask for them. But when I found out mortals could not enter the Green Realm, I sought the help of a god and did what was necessary to gain entrance to the Green. The god, Puck, wanted a protégé. I've never particularly had an interest in pursuing godhood, but I became one, for one reason, and one reason only: for Wendy.

"I love your daughter, and although I may never understand why, she loves me. Everything I've done in the past week has been for her. I fought trolls, I learned to use and control my newfound magic, I fought a god—I've been to hell (well, Helheim) and back, literally. And I helped rescue your _wife_ from being trapped in her tree form by her father, the Green Man. Incidentally, the Green Man was attempting to marry Wendy off against her will to another elder god."

Dipper paused and took a deep breath. Dan opened his mouth to interject, but Dipper held his palm up.

"No, Dan. I'm not finished yet. See, I've noticed a disturbing trend in Wendy's family. It seems the men in her family think of women as their 'property.' The Green Man was going to marry Wendy off to someone she wasn't interested in, essentially using her as a bargaining chip in his game of power. And then there's _you_. Wendy has expressed her desire to handfast with me. She loves me. But for some reason, you feel the need to approve of the match first. To judge whether or not I'm 'good enough' for her. Dan, Wendy may be your only daughter, but she is a person in her own right. She deserves to be listened to, to have her opinions and wishes honored. So while it would be nice for you to give us 'your blessing,' we don't need it. Because _you_ are not giving Wendy to me—she is giving herself to me."

Dipper took a deep breath and let it out slowly, while returning to his normal height, but he didn't break eye contact with Manly Dan. The Gravnemeta was absolutely silent—even the whisper of fairy wings in the oak canopy stopped, as everyone at the Sacred Grove held their breath, awaiting Dan's response.

 _Dipper, that was either brilliant, or incredibly stupid_ remarked Fenris, from down near Dipper's hooves.

After what seemed to Dipper like ages, but was, in reality, only a few seconds, Manly Dan grinned and nodded. He turned to Beithe, whose arm was linked through his.

"You were right about him," said Dan. "Kid's got guts. Wendy knows how to pick 'em, just like her mom."

A collective sigh of relief echoed throughout the Gravnemeta.

Dan turned back to Dipper. "Don't get me wrong. You and Wendy are both still very young—and if you get my daughter pregnant before a year has passed, I will teach you the true meaning of pain. I am comfortable with the two of you handfasting—but no hanky panky." Dan said all this with a grin still plastered across his face, which made it slightly more terrifying.

Dipper gulped and nodded, resisting the urge to be a smartass and ask for the exact definition of "hanky panky."

"So!" said Puck loudly from behind Dipper, startling the young god into jumping. "How's about we get this handfasting underway? One of my shows is airing a special tonight, and if I miss it, I shall be very put out."

In a flurry of movement, the guests began to take their seats, when suddenly, the sound of flatulence filled the night air. Everyone looked around, startled.

Puck burst out laughing, tears of mirth spilling down his face.

"Whoopee cushions, Puck? Seriously?" said Beithe.

Dipper looked at Arden. "Now imagine if he'd had to plan and decorate for the ceremony all on his own. _Thank you_ for stepping in and doing most of it."

Arden grinned. "You are quite welcome. Oh, here," she said, handing Dipper a blue wool hooded cloak, with a Celtic knotwork clasp at the throat. "Put that on—Wendy wanted you to wear it. Come now, stand in front of the sacred circle, so the ceremony can begin."

Dipper threw the cloak around his shoulders, and followed Arden to the circle. He was beginning to tremble, but not due to the cold.

/

Wendy stood near the back of the Gravnemeta, watching as Dipper was led toward the altar. It was almost time. Grenda and Bork had gone to join the seated group, and in the dim glow from the motes of light floating over the clearing, she saw her mother leading her father back toward her.

When Dan finally spotted Wendy standing against the tree line he jogged the last few paces to her, and enveloped her in one of his lung-collapsing bear hugs.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Wen," he whispered into her hair. He grasped her shoulders, and held her at arm's length. "You're sure this is what you want—to handfast with Dipper? Don't look at me like that. I just really need to hear it _from you_ for myself."

Wendy nodded up at her father. "Yes, dad. Dipper and I love each other. I want to handfast with him."

Manly Dan sighed. "Okay. Let's get you hitched, then."

Beithe stood on Wendy's left, while Dan stood on her right. She linked arms with both of them, and they made their way toward the aisle of fog. At the edge of the fog, they stopped, and each kissed her on the cheek, before taking their seats.

Wendy took a deep breath, and stepped forward into the blanket of fog. To her surprise, a slow drum beat began, accompanied by a haunting melody from a set of pan pipes. Arden and Puck stood on either side of the circle, playing their instruments at a slow, but steady pace, as Wendy walked sedately forward.

She looked up at Dipper, feeling as though butterflies were holding a mixed martial arts match in her stomach. Dipper was staring at her, a look of complete awe on his face. As she got closer to him, she realized his eyes were welling over with tears.

/

Wendy was the most beautiful creature in existence. She wore a hooded velvet dress, the same color of deep blue as the cloak she had asked that Dipper wear. The hood was drawn up, loosely covering her head, allowing enough room for her thick, intricate braid to rest over her shoulder. The neckline was low enough to entice, without being immodest. The bodice was skin tight, as were the sleeves, down to the elbow. From there, they loosened, the flowing material cascading down to a point, which reached her knees if her hands were down at her sides. The skirt was long and full, and swayed softy with every movement of her hips, around which she wore a silver girdle of Celtic knotwork.

Wendy's porcelain skin seemed to give off an ethereal glow as it reflected the swirling, hovering lights above. She slowly walked up the aisle of mist toward Dipper, white clouds billowing up in her wake, swirling like smoke. She met his eyes and her smile, aimed at him, and him alone, was somehow at the same time demure and seductive.

By the time that Wendy reached the front of the sacred circle, and Arden and Puck ceased playing their haunting tune, Dipper was trembling all over. Wendy noticed and winked at him.

Arden entered the circle, and stood in front of the makeshift altar, where she turned to face Dipper and Wendy. "Please join hands, and enter the circle, standing opposite of me, in front of the fire."

Dipper and Wendy did as they were told. Wendy's hand was ice cold, and Dipper squeezed it gently. The fire in front of them was so tiny it did little more than warm their shins.

"Fire is an interesting phenomenon," said Arden. "The heat of fire can be used to destroy, or to sustain life; to injure, or to purify."

Dipper swallowed, and stared down at the small flame. He was beginning to wish he had asked more about what was supposed to happen during a handfasting ritual.

"The fire before you represents the love you share, Wyn Dahlia Corduroy, and Mason Pines. Close your physical eyes, and using your mind's eye, cast into the flames any doubts you may have about your beloved, any jealousies, and any pride you retain. Allow the flames to devour any weaknesses in your relationship, and purify your intentions."

Dipper thought the instructions sounded a little hokey, but he tried to do what Arden asked, and was surprised to feel the heat of the flames intensify.

"Now open your eyes, and meet the eyes of your beloved," said Arden. Dipper and Wendy looked at each other, his soft brown eyes nervously studying her level, emerald gaze. Wendy smiled gently, and gripped Dipper's hand more tightly, eliciting a soft smile from him in return.

"In choosing to handfast each other, you are agreeing for your soul to be bound to the other, as married, for a period of a year and a day. If you have any reservations, you must bring them forward now."

Wendy and Dipper both turned their heads toward Arden, and shook them in the negative.

"Very well," said Arden. She turned to the altar, and when she turned back around, she was grasping a long, silken, green ribbon. "You must face your beloved, and clasp each other's left hands, then over top of them, clasp each other's right hands."

Dipper and Wendy did as instructed. Arden then began to wrap the ribbon loosely around their hands and arms in a series of infinity loops.

"With this binding, two souls join. Two hunt as one for passion and pleasure."

At the mention of passion and pleasure, a loud cough that sounded very like Manly Dan broke the hushed silence of the onlookers. Arden raised her eyebrows, and continued the ritual.

"Two act as a shield for the other's back, and as guardian of their love, that neither god, nor man, should tear the intertwined souls asunder."

Arden finished wrapping their hands and arms, and held the two ends of the ribbon up side by side, then began tying them into a knot.

"Two hearts beat as one, gathering vows to love and protect, that this handfast knot, in a year and a day, be replaced with an eternal knot."

Arden looked Dipper and Wendy each in the eyes, and then lifted her hands away from their intertwined and bound hands and arms.

"As the universe wills it, may you know nothing but happiness," she said, a genuine smile spreading across her face.

Dipper and Wendy laughed as they awkwardly leaned forward, their bound arms and hands in the way, and shared a soft kiss.

A sudden, gleeful whoop from Mabel broke the stillness of the moment, and everyone began to clap, cheer and whistle. Above the din, Dipper heard the tiniest of howls pierce the air, and he couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. It was done. He and Wendy were, for all intents and purposes, married.

/

Because it was dark and cold, Arden and Puck offered to shuttle the handfasting guests back to the Mystery Shack in several small groups. As elder gods, they had the capability to travel nearly instantaneously within realms, even with mortals in tow. (They could not, however, ferry mortals _between_ realms—only gods could pass between different realms without making use of a permanent portal, like the giant oak). As a new elder god, Dipper made a mental note to ask Puck to teach him how to use this very handy power. This time, however, he and Wendy "caught a ride" with Arden, the last group to vacate the Gravnemeta. It had taken a while to figure out how to disentangle themselves from the ribbon without cutting it, or untying the knot. Wendy wanted to keep it, and felt it would be bad luck to destroy it in the process of removing it.

Upon their arrival back at the Shack, they were greeted with a raucous party, which was already well underway. Soos had taken over his favorite role as DJ and MC, and everyone else was mingling, dancing, or helping themselves to the copious amounts of food laid out.

While Dipper was thrilled to finally be handfasted with Wendy, something had been nagging at him all afternoon. He hadn't brought it up, because he didn't want anyone to be needlessly upset—but as Soos had reminded him earlier, he and Mabel were supposed to return to Piedmont in two days, and pick up their old lives right where they'd left off. Clearly that could not happen, but he didn't know what he and Mabel could tell their parents to convince them to allow the twins to remain in Gravity Falls indefinitely.

Dipper looked around the room, and spotted Mabel dancing with Grenda and Pacifica. He leaned over and kissed Wendy on the cheek. She turned and smiled at him.

"Hey, I need to go talk to Mabel for a minute, is that okay?" asked Dipper.

"Of course, dork," said Wendy. "I should probably go hang out with my family some, anyway."

"Alright. I shouldn't be too long," said Dipper. He pulled Wendy in close, and whispered hotly in her ear. "I can't wait until we're alone. I love you."

Wendy blushed, and nearly tripped over her own feet as she turned away from Dipper, and went to seek out her family.

Dipper grinned to himself, as he made his way over to Mabel. She, Pacifica, and Grenda were standing in a circle, all staring at the floor, clapping in time to the music and laughing. Dipper soon saw what they were looking at: Bork was riding on Fenris' back, waving his arms in the air, while Fenris spun in circles, chasing his tail. Waddles, who had remained at the Mystery Shack during the handfasting, stood at Mabel's feet, watching the strange display with his head cocked to the side.

"Having a good time, Fenris?" asked Dipper loudly, as he joined the circle.

Fenris stopped spinning, and stared up at Dipper with his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

 _I have never heard music like this before. I like it!_

Dipper laughed, and scratched the puppy behind his ears. Then he touched Mabel's arm.

"Hey sis, can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Sure thing, bro-bro," said Mabel, following Dipper to a corner of the room away from the boom of the speakers. Dipper leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms.

"We have a problem, Mabel. I'm a god of mischief in satyr form who _just_ married a dryad, who, incidentally, happens to be a minor goddess in her own right. You have pledged yourself to serve as priestess and champion of the goddess of the sacred wild, and vowed to protect the Gravnemeta."

Mabel frowned. "And the problem is?"

Dipper sighed. "Mabel, has it occurred to you yet that we're supposed to go home to Piedmont in two days? Well, less than two days, technically."

Mabel giggled uncomfortably. "Oops. Uh. No. I was kind of occupied with worrying about you, Grenda, and Wendy, and then Arden came along and started teaching me the ways of badassery…"

"So what do we do?" asked Dipper. "I mean, I'm not leaving Wendy. Not now, not ever. Plus, I would have a really hard time explaining how I turned into a seventeen-year-old satyr. Now that the Grunkles are back, do you think we could have them find a reason to talk mom and dad into letting us stay here—that has nothing to do with gods or magic?"

Mabel pursed her lips. "Well, you could always say Ford offered you an apprenticeship again, and you accepted it this time..."

"Yeah, but what about you?" asked Dipper. "We need some kind of convincing excuse that includes a reason why it is necessary that we _both_ remain in Gravity Falls."

"Have you considered telling them the truth?" asked Puck, seeming to pop up out of nowhere. Dipper and Mabel stared at him mutely.

"What? I was eavesdropping. I suppose I should apologize for that, but I'm not sorry, so…yeah, that's about it." Puck shrugged. "But the truth—that's a thing, you know."

"Puck—believe me when I say this: our parents could _not_ handle the truth," said Dipper.

Mabel nodded, and continued for her brother. "We tried telling them about some of the weird stuff that happened here over the summer—not even Bill level weird, but like—the Gobblewonker, and the gnomes trying to make me their queen."

"Their reaction?" said Dipper. "They completely freaked out. Said they never should have let us visit Grunkle Stan, and wouldn't be sending us back. So Mabel and I backtracked, and pretended we were just joking; we made up those stories to keep ourselves occupied, because life in Gravity Falls was, in actuality, _really_ dull."

"So you see," said Mabel, "if they found out the truth, it might _actually_ kill them."

"Hmmm," said Puck, studying his fingernails. "The truth option is usually the least fun anyway. I guess it's a good thing for you guys that Tad Strange already called and talked to your parents."

"Wait, what?!" cried Dipper, jerking out of his casual lean on the wall, and standing at attention. "What did you do, Puck?"

As an answer, Puck produced two professional-looking, glossy brochures, and handed them to the twins.

"Gravnemeta Arts and Sciences Academy, located in picturesque Gravity Falls, Oregon," Dipper read aloud from the cover. "Tad Strange, Headmaster." He looked up at Puck in disbelief.

Mabel had opened her brochure, and began reading the inside. "GASA is an exclusive private academy, which only takes a handful of students in each year. The students must have proved their merit, because all accepted students are awarded full scholarships, which include tuition, as well as room and board.

"At GASA, we focus on developing the innate talents and abilities of our students, while introducing new subject matter as well. The program is year-round, because the thirst for knowledge shouldn't end in June." Mabel looked up from the brochure. "So… our parents think we got scholarships to attend this made-up school?"

Puck nodded. "Apparently, you two applied earlier this fall, but didn't tell your parents, because you didn't think you'd get in anyway, you rascals. Tad had a nice long chat with them on the phone earlier today. They are thrilled you both got in to GASA, and would probably appreciate a phone call from you soon."

"Unbelievable," muttered Dipper, staring at the glossy photos of teenagers at computers and holding beakers, and walking the paths of the impressively manicured campus. The campus that didn't actually exist.

"Puck, this is all well and good," said Dipper, holding up the brochure, "but what about when our parents want to inevitably come for a visit and tour of the campus?"

"Psssh," said Puck, flapping a hand at his protégé. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Now, if you'll excuse me—the special I mentioned earlier, the one that's airing tonight? It starts in a few minutes. Toodaloo!"

As suddenly as he had appeared, Puck was gone. Dipper shook his head, and laughed.

"What's funny, bro-bro?" asked Mabel, still clutching her GASA brochure.

"I was just thinking—Puck doing exactly what we needed without us asking—it seems like a total 'deus ex machina' move. But he _is_ a god. So, I guess, if you've 'god' it, why not flaunt it?" Dipper chuckled again at his own little pun.

Mabel grinned and rolled her eyes. "Right. Anyway, that's the main problem dealt with. One more to go, now—where are we going to live? I mean, I can probably stay on at the Mystery Shack, or maybe with Grenda's family. But what about you and Wendy? Are you planning on living with her family? If so, I foresee that being incredibly awkward."

Dipper's shoulders slumped. "I have actually not given that subject any thought at all. I feel like an idiot."

Mabel put a hand on Dipper's arm, and nodded in Wendy's direction. "You should probably go have a talk with your bride, you idiot."

/

Dipper wandered across the room, to where Wendy was sitting at a table, across from her mom and dad. Her brothers had stationed themselves at the buffet, trying to out-eat one another.

As Dipper approached Wendy from behind, he smiled blandly at Manly Dan, who simply raised an eyebrow in return. Dipper leaned over Wendy's shoulder, startling her.

"Meet me on the roof in five," he whispered into her ear, and then kissed her on the cheek, and meandered away casually.

As he attempted to climb the ladder to the roof, he was glad Wendy wasn't there to watch. Climbing a narrow, metal ladder with hooves was a bit more complicated than climbing it with feet. He finally made it to the roof, and made himself comfortable while he waited, leaning against the shingles with his hands behind his head. He gazed at the stars, and smiled, remembering his time with Wendy on the roof on Christmas Eve. It felt like a lifetime ago, but it had been little more than a week since then.

Dipper wasn't wearing a watch, but it felt like it had been quite a bit longer than five minutes by the time he heard Wendy opening the hatch to the roof.

"Sorry it took me so long to get up here," she said, as she closed the hatch and moved to lay next to Dipper, snuggling into his side. "I couldn't get away from my dad. Mabel finally noticed what was going on, and started a dance-off, so that everyone crowded around the dance floor, and I could sneak away. The first person to dance was Stan. He does a mean 'sprinkler.'"

Dipper snorted. "The old man never fails to surprise," he said with a chuckle. He leaned up on his elbow, and looked down into Wendy's face. "Gods, you're beautiful," he murmured, lightly brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers.

Wendy blushed becomingly, and grinned. "You're not so bad-looking yourself, Pines," she said softly. Then she reached up and twined her fingers through his dark brown curls, and pulled him down for a kiss.

Wendy's lips were soft and inviting. Dipper sighed against her, and returned her kiss—not with the fierce desperation of their first kisses—but gently, and sensually. He could feel his baser nature trying to take over, and he consciously worked to suppress it. Since their encounter in the bathtub, he'd done some thinking. He didn't want to rush things like they had been about to before Beithe showed up. Especially not until Wendy had mastered the contraceptive spell. It was going to be difficult, but Wendy had always proven to be worth the wait.

Wendy pulled her mouth away from Dipper's, and began softly kissing his neck. Dipper's baser nature began throwing a tantrum. It wanted out. It wanted Wendy. Dipper tried, unsuccessfully, to hold in a low moan.

He pushed himself back from Wendy, until he could meet her gaze. She smiled at him, a vulnerable, but incredibly sexy smile that she reserved for him alone. Dipper wanted nothing more than to fall upon her, letting passion lead them where it may. He closed his eyes and shook his head to clear it, while taking a shuddering breath.

"We have to stop," he said quietly, his voice full of regret.

Wendy looked confused and hurt.

"Wen, I love you. You know that. And I want you _so_ badly. But neither of us are ready to be parents," whispered Dipper.

"Well, I mean… there are…things…we can do with each other that don't cause pregnancy," said Wendy, winking.

Dipper sat up fully, and sighed. Wendy reached a hand out, and he helped her sit up as well, not letting go after she was upright.

"I just don't know how far I'll be able to take things, without losing control like I did in the bath," said Dipper, looking down at their clasped hands. "So if we try doing…things… we'll have to take it slow. Really slow. I almost lost my composure kissing you just now."

Wendy leaned in, and rested her forehead against Dipper's. "I promise that I will practice the contraceptive spell. Every. Single. Day. Until such time as I've mastered it, I have no problem with you setting the pace of our physical relationship."

Dipper smiled. "Do me a favor, if you would, though," he said. "If I start to act all…randy in a feral sort of way like I did back in the Green Realm, and start moving too fast again…please shut me down."

"You got it," said Wendy, with a grin.

"So...that conversation definitely needed to happen," said Dipper, "but it isn't why I asked you to come up here. I actually wanted to talk about where we're going to live, now that we're married."

Wendy raised her eyebrows. "Oh? I figured we'd live with my family, at least for now. I already talked to my mom and dad about it. My dad said we have to 'behave ourselves' in his house, but also grudgingly acknowledged that as a married couple, we shouldn't have to live apart."

Dipper took in a deep breath, and blew it out. "It's gonna be awkward as all hell, you realize that, right?"

Wendy punched Dipper lightly on the shoulder. "Come on, man. You're like, the King of Awkward. It'll be fine!"

"Well, we'd better head back down to the party, then," said Dipper, standing up, and helping Wendy to her feet. "People might start thinking we've gone off somewhere to uh, consummate our union. If I'm going to be living in your dad's house, I don't want to get on his bad side. I'd hate for him to try and strangle me _twice_ on our wedding day."

Wendy grinned. "Yeah man, that'd be a real drag."

/

The party was finally winding down. Pacifica had already left, miffed that Ford had won the dance-off over her. Everyone had been quite impressed with his skills at popping and locking.

Soos had set his playlist on shuffle, and was sitting on the couch, talking to Melody. The Grunkles had cornered Arden, and been talking her ear off, asking her to tell them about the Green Realm, and the other gods, and to show them some real magic. She finally excused herself, saying she needed to get back to standing vigil at the Gravnemeta.

Grenda followed shortly thereafter, with Bork on her shoulder. The two had become quite close, and now that Wendy was married, Bork felt he would be in the way if he stayed with her. When Grenda suggested that he live with her family, he was so happy, he nearly cried.

The last people to leave the Mystery Shack were the Corduroys, with Dipper in tow. Mabel hugged her brother tightly.

"Don't let Manly Dan intimidate you," she said. "You belong with Wendy, and you know it."

Dipper grinned. "Oh, yes. Of that, I am certain." He gave Mabel a mock salute, and walked out the door, where he joined hands with a waiting Wendy, and disappeared with her into the forest in the direction of the Corduroy home.

Fenris watched this interaction from his vantage point beneath the buffet table. He heaved a sigh that came out as a small whimper, and scooted himself back so that he was hidden under the nearly floor-length tablecloth.

After Dipper and Wendy had come back from wherever it was they had disappeared to, Dipper seemed to completely forget Fenris was even there. Fenris understood up to a point—Dipper had just gotten married, so he was bound to be preoccupied. However, he didn't even say goodbye to Fenris before he left, and that hurt.

Fenris had never been one to make friends, mainly because other gods and creatures avoided him, due to that stupid prophecy. It appeared that Dipper had quite a few friends. It must be easy to take a single friend for granted, when you have so many others, Fenris mused. But Dipper was the only god to ever take Fenris at face value, and to trust him—even after he realized that Fenris was actually Fenrir from the Ragnarok prophecy. That had meant a lot to Fenris.

With Dipper's departure, there were no non-mortals left at the Mystery Shack, which meant there was no one available for Fenris to even talk to. He had gotten used to the constant flow of banter between himself and Dipper, and having no one around to understand him made him incredibly lonely.

While Fenris was lost in thought, a pair of feet passed by the buffet table, the tablecloth billowing out in their wake. Fenris recognized Mabel's shoes. Then her heard a sniff, followed by a muffled sob. Curious, he poked his face out from beneath the cloth, and saw her heading toward the door to the rest of the house, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

 _Well, this won't do at all_ Fenris said to himself. He leapt to his feet, and scampered as quickly as he could toward Mabel, who was nearly to the door. Luckily, she heard the chittering of his claws on the wood floor, and turned around. Fenris skidded to a stop in front of her, and stood up, putting his front paws on Mabel's leg. He yawned widely.

Mabel sniffed, and smiled down at Fenris with watery eyes. "Oh, Fenris! I didn't realize you were still here, buddy. I thought you would have left with Dipper."

Fenris cocked his head to the side and whimpered.

"I guess we're both feeling kind of lonely right now, huh?" asked Mabel. She reached down and scooped up the puppy, burying her tearstained face in his neck. "I was going to bed. How 'bout you come with me?"

Fenris wuffed softly and licked her cheek.

When they arrived at the attic, Mabel began to divest herself of her clothing. Fenris turned and faced the wall. Mabel noticed this and laughed. When she was dressed in her pajamas, she climbed into bed, and patted the mattress.

"You can sleep up here with me, Fen. C'mon boy!"

Fenris jumped, and missed the mark, scrabbling desperately at the mattress, only to fall backward. He stood up and shook himself, embarrassed.

"Oh!" cried Mabel. She leaned over the side of the bed, and picked Fenris up. She cuddled him to her chest and lay on her side, holding him like a teddy bear. Fenris wiggled in her arms until he was face to face with her.

Mabel smiled sadly. "I used to sleep like this with Waddles, before he got too big," she said absently, stroking the back of Fenris' neck. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Now he's almost always with Arden." She sniffed. "I guess I'm not too mad, because she can understand him—it must be nice to be understood after a lifetime of not being understood."

 _You have no idea how true that is,_ said Fenris, even though he knew she couldn't hear him.

"Still, it doesn't make me miss him any less," said Mabel, with a sigh. Another tear rolled down her cheek. Fenris leaned forward and licked it away.

"I miss Dipper, too. Even though he's back, it's like he's still not here," said Mabel. She paused to sniff and wipe her eyes, then continued. "I mean… I know he'll always be my bro-bro, but he's so different now. And _married_!" She laughed wetly. "I had—I had hoped that by agreeing to be Arden's priestess and champion, it would give me more in common with him, since he's a god now." Her voice was quavering now. "Nope. Turns out that with all the training I have to do, I probably won't see much of him at all, unless he goes out of his way to see me."

Mabel held Fenris a little closer and buried her face in his fur. With her voice slightly muffled, she continued her heartfelt rant. "Fat chance of that happening, now that he's married to Wendy. And now Grenda has Bork, and Pacifica…well she's Pacifica. I think we're frenemies, at best. And Soos has Melody, and the Grunkles have each other. I have Arden… but even discounting the fact that she beats the crap out of me on a daily basis, it seems like she's much more interested in a return on her investment in me, rather than me as a person."

Mabel lifted her face from Fenris' fur, and was greeted by a gentle lick on the nose. She smiled, even as her eyes continued to water over.

"Sorry for making you my therapist," said Mabel, scratching Fenris behind the ears. "It's really nice to have someone to talk to, even if you can't talk back." She sighed. "Yet another reason I miss Waddles…" She pulled the puppy as close to her body as she could, and gave him a gentle kiss on the top of his head. "But now I have you," she said, punctuated by a jaw-popping yawn. "Goodnight, Fen."

 _You do have me now, Mabel_ , said Fenris. _Goodnight_.

As she had spilled her heart out to him, Fenris had felt a strange feeling rise, and settle in his chest. Mabel was a pure, gentle soul, and he wanted to protect her. He wanted her to never feel lonely or abandoned again. He decided there and then, to undertake a personal mission—a mission to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of Mabel Pines.

Fenris sighed and closed his eyes, listening to the gentle rhythm of Mabel's breathing. It felt good to have a purpose.

/

Dipper and Wendy were spending a very un-glamorous wedding night crammed together in Wendy's twin bed. They lay, holding hands, staring at the ceiling, and occasionally whispering back and forth. It was past midnight, but neither could sleep, though not for lack of trying.

When they had arrived at the Corduroy house, Manly Dan had laid some "ground rules."

Dipper could sleep in Wendy's room if _and only if_ the door remained open.

Even though he wore a loincloth during the day, Dipper must wear sweatpants to bed.

As an addendum to rule one, the door must remain open _any_ time Dipper and Wendy were alone in her room. Period.

Dan said he might be passing by in the hallway periodically at night, to make sure no "hanky panky" was going on. While Dan was ranting, Beithe stood slightly behind him, shaking her head and facepalming.

True to his word, Dan practically stood vigil at Wendy's door all night. If Dipper or Wendy shifted and the mattress squeaked, he'd pop his head in the door, eyes narrowed. When he observed nothing amiss, he slowly withdrew, only to pop back again if either of the newlyweds coughed, or if, gods forbid, the sheets rustled.

After the ninth time her father had popped his head in the door (Dipper had tried to adjust his pillow a bit too loudly), Wendy was fed up.

"This isn't just incredibly awkward," she whispered. "It's humiliating."

"So," Dipper whispered back, "first thing tomorrow, do you want us to ask my Grunkles for permission to build a small cabin on the edge of their property?"

"Oh gods, yes!" cried Wendy, forgetting to whisper in her enthusiasm.

With a roar, Dan leapt into the bedroom, dual-wielding hatchets in fists raised furiously above his head.

He paused for a moment, noting the newlyweds' wide eyes and terrified expressions, as well as the fact that they appeared to have not moved at all since the last time he had peeked in, and slowly lowered his arms.

"This was just a drill," he mumbled, as he turned and walked out of the room.

Dipper hopped out of bed, grabbed his pillow, and leaned over to kiss Wendy on the cheek.

"So, yeah," he said softly. "I'm, uh… I'm gonna just go sleep on the sofa."

Wendy nodded in understanding.

As Dipper passed Wendy's father in the hallway, he raised his eyebrows, and said "Goodnight, Dan."

Manly Dan grunted.

/

/

/

/

Well, folks, that's the end of that! And by _that_ , I mean that story arc. I am definitely not done with these characters and worlds yet. The new story arc will be called **Gravity Falls: Worlds Collide** , but I'm not publishing it as a new story— **I'm just going to keep adding chapters to this one** , since this one already has so many followers. Plus, Worlds Collide will pretty much be a direct continuation of the same story, but with a different main focus. (Don't worry, there will still be plenty of Wendip!)

The most ferocious of shoutouts to Mr. **FullMetalKhaos** , without whom this story would not exist. Thanks for introducing me to Gravity Falls, and for inspiring me to write fan fiction. You're amazing. For real, though. XD

And a less ferocious, but still enthusiastic shoutout to **TGGDSD** , who keeps cheering me on, and is made of awesome and win.

Now onto my reviewers: Y'all mean so much to me—you have no idea. I love getting your feedback. Writing is my passion, and it makes my heart happy whenever I hear how much someone has enjoyed reading what I've written. Without further ado, a million thanks to:

berzerkergod, LimboticMistisos, subject VEGA, TGGDSD, BIuefish, WenDip and Pinecest, Guest, Ghost Man, fereality, scroghmc, Attack on Gravity, Reaper1173, MegaPrimo1, Gamer Guy 6267, pittbuck, and another Guest.

Thanks for reading!


	19. Worlds Collide, Chapter One

Worlds Collide

Prologue

In the two weeks that had passed since the handfasting of Dipper Pines and Wendy Corduroy, the daily lives of the Pines twins and their friends and family had slowly settled into a new sense of normalcy. Nothing was ever going to be the same as it was before the fateful night when Wendy was kidnapped into the Green Realm, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

To be supportive of their great niece and nephew's new "lifestyle choices," (as Stan described Dipper's godhood and Mabel's becoming a champion and priestess of Arden), the Grunkles decided to stay in Gravity Falls instead of continuing to sail around the world. They didn't want to kick Soos and Melody out of the Mystery Shack, however, so they talked Puck into going back and finding the Stan O' War, which he'd just left floating off the coast of South Africa when he transported them back to Gravity Falls. They asked him to place it in the lake, and they repurposed it as a houseboat. They did, however, still spend a good deal of time at the Mystery Shack.

When school reconvened in Gravity Falls, Grenda, Pacifica and Wendy all headed back like normal. Bork spent his days in Grenda's room, creating unique new clothes for her. Wendy thought there was no point in her returning to school, but Beithe and Dan wouldn't hear of it. They insisted that Wendy at least complete her high school education.

Being as Dipper looked like a mythological creature, he wouldn't have been able to attend public school, even if he wanted to. He knew that it was possible to cast a glamour on himself, because otherwise Puck couldn't take on his Bacon Ostrich or Tad Strange personas. However, he had not figured out how yet, and of course, his mentor went inexplicably and conveniently missing as soon as he had deposited the Stan O' War in the lake.

Instead, Dipper spent his days drawing designs for a small cabin, and beginning to clear a patch of land on the edge of the Grunkles' property. Wendy and Beithe had come along with him to choose the location, so that Beithe could verify that none of the trees had spirits currently residing in them, and show Wendy how to do it for herself. Dan refused to have anything to do with the cabin, because he said he "knew what they would get up to in there" once they moved in, and he didn't approve. Meanwhile, Dipper was still sleeping on the couch at the Corduroy house, in hopes of avoiding another encounter with Manly Dan and the hatchet twins.

Although Mabel would have liked to attend school with her friends in Gravity Falls, Arden insisted that her training as champion and Protector of the Gravnemeta was more important. Ford begged to differ, and was able to talk Arden into a compromise: instead of training with Mabel for a full eight hours every day as she had been (pushing Mabel past the brink of exhaustion), Arden would train Mabel for six hours, and then Ford would homeschool her for two hours. Ford had wanted to homeschool Dipper as well, but Dipper refused, point blank, saying he was more concerned with building a cabin and starting a life with Wendy, and that school would have to wait.

Fenris had become Mabel's shadow. He went everywhere with her, pretending to be a silly puppy to make her laugh. He'd curl up against her at night while she cried, and she'd talk to him—tell him things like he was her diary. He did his best to make her feel better, but he knew she needed more. Simply comforting her was not going to be enough. He needed to take a more active role in seeing to her wellbeing and happiness. He just wasn't sure what that would be.

Things began to settle down, and life moved on, quiet and uneventful. But this is Gravity Falls. It doesn't stay quiet and uneventful for long.

And it didn't.

Chapter One

Shafts of early morning sunlight broke through the forest canopy, dappling the frigid ground, and causing the bed of frost covered pine needles to sparkle like they'd been coated in white glitter. Sparkles and glitter were the kinds of things that normally caught Mabel Pines' attention, but not today. Her breath came out in ragged puffs of steam as she ran, her watering eyes facing directly in front of her. She was late for her training session with Arden, and she knew she was in for a scolding, and extra push-ups. Unless she wanted to add extra sit-ups to that, she couldn't afford to stop and appreciate the beauty of her surroundings.

The gangly, black puppy following closely at Mabel's heels watched her with concern. As she slept last night, her chest had rattled every time she breathed, and as he had lain against her, he noticed that her body was putting off more heat than normal. Fenris didn't know a whole lot about the human body, seeing as he had never possessed one, but he thought she was, as mortals say, sick. He had wanted her to stay in bed and rest, so before her alarm clock had a chance to buzz, he had used his nose to nudge the switch to the off position. He felt guilty for having done that now, because Mabel woke up in a panic half an hour later, muttering about how angry Arden was going to be with her.

Arduinna, Goddess of the Sacred Wild, known also as Arden, was Mabel's mentor, trainer, and patron goddess. When Mabel had first met her, she appeared human, and Mabel thought she had made a new friend. While Mabel still liked Arden the goddess, she missed Arden the human. Arden the goddess was—not mean, or cruel, exactly. She was harsh, and rigid. She had chosen Mabel to be her champion and help her protect the Gravnemeta, the nexus point between realms, because Mabel was extremely loyal to her friends and family, and would do anything in her power to keep them from harm. Arden expected discipline and obedience from her champion, and Mabel did not want to disappoint her.

Mabel finally broke through the trees at the edge of the Gravnemeta, and bent over, hands on her knees, coughing and gasping for breath. A sudden movement to her left caused her to turn her head and look, just as she was taken down in a flying tackle from Arden. Mabel lay on the ground, wheezing, the wind knocked out of her, while Arden stood up and dusted herself off. Fenris ran over to make sure Mabel was okay, nudging her with his nose. Satisfied, he turned and growled at Arden, his ears pinned back, and lips curled up in a snarl.

 _What the Hel, Arden!? Are you_ trying _to injure her?_

As a goddess, Arden possessed the capability of hearing Fenris speak in her head. However, she chose to ignore him. She did not like that the Norse god of destruction, the great wolf Fenrir, had taken such a keen interest in _her_ priestess and champion. Instead she addressed Mabel.

"Your guard was down, my dear," she chided the younger girl, reaching down and helping her to her feet. "You must remember, when entering the Gravnemeta, to always be alert, and ready for a fight. Anything could break through the nexus, at any time, and could easily dispatch of you if you are not prepared."

"Sorry, Arden," said Mabel, hanging her head, strands of her long, cocoa colored hair that had come loose from her ponytail falling in her face. "I'm feeling a little off today—but I won't let that affect my training again."

Fenris stood next to Mabel and leaned against her legs, wishing he could go full Fenrir on Arden and send the uppity Green Realm bitch a message that she wouldn't be able to ignore. That would be quite upsetting for Mabel, however, since she still thought Fenris was just a very smart dog.

Arden noted the sun's position in the sky. "You are also twenty-three minutes late for your training. You know what that means."

Mabel nodded. "50 extra push-ups," she said with a sigh. She peeled off the light windbreaker she'd donned for her run, and kicked off her shoes. Arden had at least agreed to let her wear thick wool socks, to help prevent frostbite. As the cold air hit her already sweat-soaked skin, Mabel began to shiver violently, her teeth chattering. Still, she got down on the ground and began her push-ups without complaint, even though her whole body was quaking.

 _Arden, it's my fault she was late. Plus, look at her. She's not well. Please don't force her to train while she's ill._

Fenris didn't like having to ask politely, but he couldn't stand seeing Mabel like this. It was one thing for Mabel to come home from training covered in bruises, but pushing her to train while ill was not only cruel, it was dangerous. Mabel had become very serious about discipline under Arden's tutelage. She was training to protect the Gravnemeta, because in doing so, she was ensuring the safety of her friends and family—a task she took so seriously, that she would push herself to the point of collapse before giving up. It was up to Arden to rein her in.

Arden's eyes flicked down to Fenris, and then back to Mabel's pale, sweaty visage. She sighed.

"Mabel, stop."

Mabel pushed herself up to a seated position. "What's wrong, Arden? Was my form bad?"

"Your form was fine," said Arden, with a small smile. "You do, however, appear to be quite sick. You are not at your best, and I need you at your best to train you properly."

"Oh," said Mabel. "Sorry?"

Arden laughed gently. "Do not apologize for being ill, Mabel. You cannot control something like that. Here." Arden knelt and placed her palm flat on Mabel's forehead.

Mabel mumbled "What…?" and then shuddered violently. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she went limp. Arden caught her, and lowered her slowly to the ground.

Fenris nudged Mabel's face, whining. _What did you do?_

"You do not need to concern yourself with what I do to _my_ champion, you heathen mongrel," spat Arden. "I know what you are trying to do."

Fenris turned from Mabel, and snarled at Arden. _Really, you stuck-up reindeer? What exactly is it that you think I'm doing?_

Arden's lip curled in derision, and she opened her mouth to speak, but instead she gasped, and held a hand to her stomach.

 _Got gas?_ Fenris asked wryly.

Arden whirled around, her eyes scanning the Gravnemeta for aberrations in the air. There it was, a ripple.

"Fenris, something is coming through from the Beast Realm," she said quickly. "Take Mabel back to the Mystery Shack, now."

Fenris craned his neck to see what she was looking at. The air pressure began to change, and the ripple in the air widened into a hole.

"Fenris, it is a basilisk! Get her out of here _NOW_!"

 _Shit_.

Fenris gently placed his mouth around Mabel's limp wrist, and concentrated on her bedroom in the Mystery Shack. He hadn't tried to blip, as he called it, in this realm yet. He hoped he wouldn't accidently transport Mabel to another continent.

As Fenris closed his eyes, he heard Arden's feral scream, accompanied by a loud hiss. He felt the familiar lightheadedness caused by blipping, and when he opened his eyes, Mabel was lying on her bedroom floor next to him.

Fenris pressed his nose to her forehead. She was cool to the touch, but not clammy, and her breathing was no longer congested. Apparently, Arden had purged her body of the illness. Fenris wasn't sure why that would have caused her to pass out, however. He did not possess the magic to heal, but to destroy.

He heaved a sigh, grabbed the edge of Mabel's blanket from the corner of the bed, and pulled it over her, nosing the sides closer to her body like he was tucking her in. Then he curled up on the floor next to her head, and watched over her, waiting for her to wake up.

/

Wendy's bedsprings squeaked as she shifted her weight, trying to get into a comfortable position to do her trigonometry homework. Dan Corduroy popped his head in the open doorway, a frown on his face.

"Relax, Manly Dan. I'm not besmirching your daughter's honor…or whatever," said Dipper, rolling his eyes. He was standing in the corner of Wendy's bedroom, playing with a yo-yo.

Dan grunted, and withdrew.

Wendy sighed. "The sooner we can get this cabin built, the better," she muttered.

"You're telling me," said Dipper, attempting to 'walk the dog' with his yo-yo. "Every time Dan sees me anywhere _near_ you, I could swear he's trying to kill me with his eyes."

"I talked to mom about it," said Wendy, scribbling out some numbers in her notebook, and copying new ones from the textbook. "She says he needs time to adjust to the situation, and then he'll mellow out."

Dipper snorted. "Mellow out? I don't see that happening, Wendy. Your dad has absolutely _zero_ chill."

Wendy glanced up at Dipper and grinned. "I wonder if it's possible to have negative chill?" Some strands of her soft, red hair fell in her face, tickling her nose, which she scrunched up and rubbed, before she tucked the hair back behind her ear.

"Gods, you're beautiful," murmured Dipper. He walked over next to Wendy, and bent over to kiss the top of her head.

She smiled up at him, and reached out, pulling him down to her for a heated kiss.

Dipper groaned softly, and pulled away. He looked up and jumped back from Wendy like she was on fire. Manly Dan stood in the doorway, glowering at him.

"I, uh… I'm going to go for a walk," he mumbled.

As he passed Manly Dan on the way out the door, Dan literally growled at him.

Dipper smirked as he walked toward the front of the house, muttering to himself. "Negative chill is pretty accurate."

/

Mabel slowly awoke, confused, hungry, and stiff. She sat up, and realized she'd been asleep on her bedroom floor. Fenris, who had been lying next to her, leapt to his feet, his tail wagging excitedly.

"Hey, Fen," she said, rubbing her eyes. "What—why am I on the floor? The last thing I remember was training…"

Fenris wished he was able to communicate with Mabel the way he communicated with her brother. Instead, he whuffed softly, and jumped up, placing his front paws on her shoulders, and sniffed her face. She giggled and pushed him off her, rubbing her nose.

Mabel turned to look at her alarm clock, and her eyes widened.

"Holy cheeses, it's 6:00 _pm_?" She jumped up off the floor, and immediately stumbled, her hand to her head. "Woah, dizzy."

Fenris whined, and nudged her leg, so that she stepped back against her bed.

"It's okay buddy, I'm fine. I just stood up too quickly," she said gently, bending over to pet the whining puppy. "You really are the smartest animal I've ever met—smarter than Waddles, even. But don't tell him I said that."

Fenris sneezed, and shook his head. _I wish there was some way I could make you hear me._

Mabel sighed. "Come on Fen, let's go downstairs and see if anyone has any clue what happened to me. I'm assuming it's some nonsense to do with gods or whatever."

The steps creaked as Mabel and Fenris descended them. She poked her head into the living room, where Grunkle Stan was watching tv, as he often did, because he was too cheap to pay for satellite television on the Stan O' Home.

"Oh, hey Mabel. I didn't hear you come in," said Stan cheerfully. "You wanna watch Ducktective with me? It's a rerun, but it's better than anything else on right now."

Mabel was tempted, but she was more interested in finding out how she ended up on her bedroom floor, a blanket tucked snuggly around her, when the last thing she remembered was doing push-ups at the Gravnemeta.

"Not tonight, Grunkle Stan. I need to talk to Grunkle Ford. Do you know where he is?" she asked.

"I don't know, probably doing some nerd thing," said Stan, with a wave of his hand.

"Very helpful, thanks," said Mabel, rolling her eyes.

Fenris wagged his tail and sneezed. He liked the old man. Apart from Mabel, Stan Pines was his favorite human.

"Oh, hey, before you go, I almost forgot—I picked this up for your mongrel when I was out today," said Stan, pulling a crumpled plastic package of beef jerky from his pocket, and tossing it to Mabel.

Fenris whuffed at Stan appreciatively, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth in a doggy grin. This was another reason Stan was his second favorite human. He was gruff on the outside, but a big softy at heart—much like Fenris, actually.

"Come on, Fen," said Mabel, as she ripped the package of jerky open, and tossed him a piece. "Let's go find Ford."

/

Dipper sat on a fallen log, staring at the plot of land that was, sometime (hopefully in the near future), going to be adorned by a modest cabin—his and Wendy's home. He knew what it was going to look like, and he and Wendy had even talked about how they were going to decorate the inside. However, actually making the cabin a reality was proving to be a more daunting task than Dipper had anticipated.

He'd tried magic, of course. As an elder god, he was technically capable of making damn near anything. However, as a _new_ elder god, he had no idea what he was doing. His mentor was no help at all—Dipper had no idea where Puck had gotten off to. Tad Strange wasn't home, and Arden had told Dipper that when she talked to her brother in the Green Realm, neither Puck, nor Bacon, had been seen there either.

Dipper frowned and conjured a set of Licoln Logs. He narrowed his eyes, as he tried to will them into forming a miniature version of the cabin he wanted to build. They lazily rolled around on the ground, and then, to Dipper's surprise, formed letters and spelled out a very rude phrase. He clenched his jaw and kept focusing on the cabin, bound and determined that he would figure this bit of magic out without Puck's guidance. Dipper didn't realize how strong his focus was, until someone touched the back of his neck, and leapt up with a screech that would have sounded at home coming from the audience of a Sev'ral Timez concert.

"Whoa there boy-o!" laughed Wendy. "It's just me!"

Dipper breathed deeply, and holding the back of his hand to his forehead, collapsed dramatically onto a red, velvet fainting couch that he made appear out of nowhere.

"I do declare," drawled Dipper in a high-pitched Southern accent, "you gave me quite a fright, darlin'!"

Wendy arched an eyebrow and smirked. "I'm not so sure about the accent, but the couch? I like. Is there room for two on that thing?"

Dipper, who had still been reclining dramatically with his eyes closed, sat straight up and nodded.

"That's what I was hoping," said Wendy with a saucy grin. "TACKLEHUG!"

Wendy flew into Dipper hard enough that the force knocked the couch over, and they ended up lying next to the overturned couch on the cold forest floor. Wendy had Dipper pinned, but he didn't mind.

"Eh, the ground is just as good—" he began, but he was cut off by Wendy's warm mouth pressed against his.

As Dipper returned her kiss with fervor, he felt his pulse quicken, and a tingling heat flowed from his core into all his extremities. Wendy twined her fingers in his hair, and tugged gently, causing him to arch his back and groan into her mouth. She wasn't playing fair, but he suspected she knew it.

"Wen—dy," Dipper managed to pant, as she pulled away from his mouth and moved onto his neck, lightly nibbling the sensitive flesh. She pulled back at her name, and stared down at him so hungrily that he almost couldn't remember why he'd stopped her. Her long, silky hair fell like a curtain around her face, tickling Dipper and giving him goosebumps as it brushed softly against his chest.

"What is it, _husband_?" Wendy murmured low.

Dipper's rational mind was receding quickly, as he melted under her emerald gaze. He took deep breath, and blurted out the one thing that he knew would bring their romantic interlude to a screeching halt.

"GOAT-TREE BABIES!"

Wendy immediately heaved a sigh, and slumped down onto Dipper, her cheek pressed against his chest.

"Goat-tree babies," she unenthusiastically mumbled, her voice muffled against Dipper's skin.

Dipper chuckled, and ruffled Wendy's hair playfully. "So, uh, how's that contraceptive spell coming along?"

She rolled off him and sat up, hugging her knees. Dipper smiled mildly at her, still lying in the dirt, with his hands clasped behind his head.

"Dude, my mom wasn't kidding around when she said it's difficult to master," said Wendy. She fiddled absently with the hem of her green flannel shirt. "I thought she was exaggerating, but she totally wasn't."

"What's so hard about it?" asked Dipper. Then he snorted and grinned. "Heh. Hard."

Wendy smirked and rolled her eyes. "It's just that it's multi-layered, meaning I have to be focusing on a bunch of different stuff at once… but before I can add any of the layers, I have to be able to clear my mind completely. I've never meditated before. Making my brain shut up is not easy."

Dipper was quiet for a moment, lost in thought.

"Something on your mind?" asked Wendy, after a minute of relaxed silence.

"I was just wondering if maybe meditation would help me with my magic," said Dipper, as he sat up. "You said the contraceptive spell is multi-layered—I bet I need to be able to do multi-layered magic for more complex stuff like casting a glamour on myself to look human, or to, say, build a cabin?"

"Hey, if you wanna practice mediation with me and my mom, you're more than welcome. In fact," said Wendy, pulling her cellphone from her pocket, and glancing at the time, "it's almost time for my evening mediation practice anyway." She stood up and dusted off her backside, then held out a hand to Dipper. "Come on, champ. Let's go 'empty our minds.' The sooner I learn how to do that, the closer I'll be to mastering the contraceptive spell."

Dipper grabbed her hand and stood, then immediately began walking back in the direction of the Corduroy cabin. He still held Wendy's hand, and pulled her along behind him.

"Well, when you put it that way…" Dipper trailed off, and turned his head to grin back at Wendy. "Meditation is my new favorite activity."

/

Mabel and Fenris heard Ford before they saw him. His muffled voice emanated from the Mystery Shack gift shop, which was closed for the evening.

"Is Grunkle Ford…shouting at someone?" asked Mabel. She stood behind the door to the gift shop, reluctant to put herself in the middle of what sounded like a tense situation. Instead of entering the room, she pushed the door open only a crack, to hear what was being said. Fenris pricked his ears forward to aid in his eavesdropping.

"—have to take it easy on her! She's a thirteen-year-old girl, for crying out loud!" spat Ford.

"A thirteen-year-old girl who was instrumental in saving this realm from destruction once already, while she was only twelve," replied Arden calmly. "I am not 'being hard on her,' Stanford. I am preparing her for battle."

Ford scoffed. "When I went upstairs to check on her earlier, to see why she hadn't come to start her lessons, she was passed out in the middle of her floor. _Passed out!_ She's constantly covered in bruises. Can't you at least give her some sort of padding or armor for training?"

"Actually," said Arden matter-of-factly, "she was passed out on her floor because she was ill this morning, and I healed her, then sent her back to the safety of her bedroom with that flea-bitten cur, because there was an attack on the Gravnemeta, and the healing had rendered her unconscious."

"Well—I—oh," sputtered Ford. "What kind of attack?"

Arden sounded slightly amused at Ford's change in tone. "A single basilisk came through from the beast realm."

Mabel had heard enough. She barged through the gift shop door, closely followed by Fenris.

"Are you kidding me?!" cried Mabel. "Something actually attacks the Gravnemeta, and I'm unconscious for it?!"

Fenris paid no attention to Mabel's ire, however, as he trotted up to Arden, lifted a leg, and pissed all over her feet.

 _That's for calling me a flea-bitten cur, you tick-infested odiferous hag-seed._

"Fenris, _no!_ " cried Mabel.

At the same time, Arden screeched and aimed a well-placed kick at Fenris' ribs, sending the dog reeling across the room with a yelp.

"Arden!" Mabel gasped in disbelief. Her eyes filled with tears, as she ran to check on Fenris, who was cowering in the corner.

"Now _really_ , Arden," chided Ford. "That was quite unnecessary."

Arden glared at the puppy in the corner, being fawned over by her protégé. "I assure you, it was actually quite necessary. Mabel?"

Mabel turned to face Arden, Fenris cradled in her arms. She stared at her mentor with cold eyes.

"What?" she asked tersely.

"From now on, the dog is not to accompany you to our training sessions. I cannot abide ill-mannered beasts." Arden paused, and looked from Mabel to Ford, and back again. The two humans looked astonished and crestfallen at Arden's behavior. She frowned. "I know you now think I'm some kind of monster. I am not." She pointed an accusatory finger at Fenris. "He, however, is."

With that, Arden turned on her heel and made to leave. She paused for a moment at the door, as Fenris spoke to her.

 _You really don't want to make an enemy of me, antler lady. If Mabel gets hurt in your care, I'll do a lot worse than piss on your feet._

Arden tossed her head derisively, pushed open the door, and was gone.

/

Dipper woke up with a start, as something thumped onto his chest.

"Who's there…Wendy?" he mumbled stupidly, rubbing his sleep-crusted eyes.

 _Guess again, goat pants._

"Fenris?"

 _Ohhhh he got it right!_ said Fenris, giving Dipper a big, sloppy lick up the length of his face.

"Dude, gross," said Dipper, as he wiped puppy saliva off his cheek. He sat up slightly, and Fenris curled into a ball on his lap. Dipper sighed, and scratched behind Fenris' ears. He squinted at the clock and groaned.

"It's two in the morning, man," complained Dipper. "Why are you blipping over in the middle of the night?"

 _Do I really_ need _an ulterior motive to visit my best friend, who I haven't seen in over a week because he's married and doesn't have time for me or his sister anymore?_

"Ugh, thanks very much for the guilt trip," sighed Dipper. "But yeah, at two in the morning I kind of expect there to be an ulterior motive."

 _Would it be weird if I said it's the only time I'm comfortable leaving Mabel by herself?_

"Yes."

 _Oh. Well, then wait a minute while I think of another reason._

"Dude, what is your deal with my sister?" asked Dipper. "Why are you suddenly attached at the hip?"

 _You haven't spent much time with Mabel at all since you got back from the Green Realm, so I wouldn't expect you to have picked up on this, but your sister is lonely and miserable._

"Yeah right!" scoffed Dipper. "She's got Arden and Soos and Melody and the Stans…last time I talked to her she was fine!"

 _Of course she made you think she was fine you numbskull! She doesn't want to detract from your newlywed bliss. But I'll tell you something nobody knows but me: she's cried herself to sleep almost every night since your handfasting._

"Wh—what?" stammered Dipper, gobsmacked. He'd always been able to easily pick up on his twin's emotional state. "Why?"

 _A lot of reasons,_ said Fenris. _Mainly though I think she's overwhelmed by all the changes that have happened in the last month, she misses her brother, and she wants to help protect the Gravenemta, but Arden is being a complete bitch and running her ragged. Not to mention beating the crap out of her on a regular basis. Don't you remember talking to Soos the day of your wedding, and he mentioned that Mabel is always covered in bruises?_

"I—oh, man," said Dipper, facepalming. "I completely forgot. I'm officially the worst brother in the world."

 _Heh, you haven't met my brother._ Fenris sneezed and continued. _Look, you need to talk to Arden about not training Mabel quite so hard, and maybe letting her wear armor. She won't listen to a word I say. Not to mention I'm now banned from Mabel's training sessions._

"Why, what'd you do, pee in Arden's shoes?" joked Dipper.

 _Well…close enough._

"Wait, what?"

 _Nothing. Look, promise me you'll talk to Arden. Tomo—well, technically, today. Later this morning. Mabel is trying her hardest to live up to Arden's standards, but Arden's standards are impossible. Just get Arden to back off on the drill sergeant routine a bit._

Dipper sighed and stroked the spot between Fenris' eyes with a finger.

"I'll talk to her, buddy. I promise."

 _Good, that's what I like to hear. Now, not that you don't give delightful scritches, but I'm gonna blip off and go cuddle your sister. She's softer than you, and she doesn't smell like goat._

Before Dipper could respond, there was a soft pop, and Fenris was gone. Dipper laid back down, and turned on his side, thinking about what he was going to say to his sister's mentor. Maybe he'd talk to Beithe about it in the morning.

As Dipper drifted back to sleep in the Corduroy cabin, a few miles away in the Mystery Shack attic, Mabel rolled over, and when her hand landed on Fenris, she instinctively pulled him close and held him like a teddy bear. Fenris sighed, closed his eyes, and was lulled into slumber listening to the steady beat of Mabel's heart.

/

 **And so, it begins. Thank you so much to everyone who has made it this far with me. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Worlds Collide, book two in the Worlds Apart trilogy. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

 **A special ginormous thanks to FullMetalKhaos, TGGDSD, and BIuefish, for encouraging me, making me laugh, and keeping me sane. These three guys all have some awesome Wendip you should check out.**

 **Hopefully I won't go quite so long between chapters now that the new story arc has officially started. However, if you haven't followed this story, it might be a good idea, because I have several other projects I'm working on, so updates might not be super consistent.**

 **Hearts and flowers,**

 **Geeky**


	20. Worlds Collide, Chapter Two

Worlds Collide

Chapter Two

Dipper was awake when Beithe got up at her usual ungodly hour. What sleep he had been able to get, after Fenris had visited and thoroughly shamed him, was fitful and restless. He felt like the worst brother in all the realms. Mabel had been suffering, and he hadn't noticed. He hadn't spent enough time with her to be able to notice.

Dipper stood up off the sofa, and wandered into the kitchen, where Beithe was preparing her morning coffee. He ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up in clumps, and sighed. Beithe turned around, her eyebrows arched in surprise.

"You're up early," she commented. "You look like hell," she added as an afterthought.

Dipper smiled wryly. "Thanks, that's the look I was going for." He eyed the coffee brewing in Beithe's French press with longing. "There wouldn't be enough in there for me to have a cup, would there?"

Beithe grinned. "I always make more than I need," she said, as she opened the cabinet and grabbed another mug. "Is something on your mind?"

Dipper pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat down with a thump.

"Fenris blipped in to see me in the middle of the night," he said.

"Oh?" said Beithe, her back turned to Dipper as she poured steaming black coffee into two mugs. "You take cream or sugar?"

"Uh, yes. Lots of both, please," said Dipper sheepishly. He'd always considered taking one's coffee black to be a mark of maturity. Now that he was a god of mischief, he doubted he'd ever be mature enough to take his coffee black.

Beithe turned around and plunked Dipper's caramel-colored brew in front of him before sitting down on the opposite side of the table so she could face him. She held her coffee in both hands, and blew on it for a moment before taking a slow sip.

Dipper did the same. When he looked up from his cup, he noticed Beithe staring at him intently.

"Well?" she asked.

"It's really good," said Dipper.

"Not the coffee, genius, but thanks," said Beithe with a grin exactly like Wendy's. "You said something about Fenris blipping over here last night, and you seemed upset—what's going on?"

"Oh, I did, that," said Dipper, his cheeks warm. "Apparently I'm a horrible brother. Fenris told me Mabel's cried herself to sleep almost every night since we've been back from the Green Realm. She's been miserable, and I haven't noticed. Hell, I haven't been around her enough to notice."

Beithe frowned, and took another slow sip of coffee before responding. "Miserable how, exactly?"

"Well, the thing Fenris seemed most worried about is that Arden is pushing Mabel too hard in her training." He sighed, and stared down at his coffee, ashamed. "I was actually supposed to have already spoken to her on that subject, but I got sidetracked…with the handfasting and everything… and I forgot."

"Pushing her too hard in what way?" asked Beithe. "I've been friends with Arden for centuries. She is a goddess of the sacred wild, and of the hunt—she is not malevolent. If she is pushing your sister in her training, I'm sure it is not without reason."

Dipper looked up from his drink, and met Beithe's eyes.

"Beithe, both Soos and Fenris have told me that Mabel comes home from her trainings exhausted and _covered_ in bruises. Arden doesn't let her wear any type of protective gear. Soos said that he's heard Mabel sobbing in the shower when she thought no one could hear her. Arden makes her train every day—doesn't give her a day of rest."

Beithe looked away from Dipper, and took another drink of coffee. Dipper frowned. He wasn't sure he was really getting through to Beithe, as she had never been a human herself. He sighed, and continued.

"Mabel isn't a goddess like you or Wendy… she's human, and only thirteen years old, to boot. Imagine someone treating Wendy like that when she was younger, and hadn't come into her godhood yet. Or treating your _human_ sons like that."

Beithe frowned, her brow furrowed. "Yes, it does sound like she is being a bit tough on your sister. But Dipper, I'm not sure there is anything you can do about that. Mabel is Arden's protégé. She is training to be her priestess. It is not looked upon kindly for a god or goddess to meddle in the training or education of another god's mentee."

"Beithe, you said it yourself—you've been friends with Arden for centuries!" said Dipper, desperation clear in his voice. "Can't you come with me to the Gravnemeta and help explain why she can't keep running Mabel ragged the way she has been? Please?"

Beithe heaved a sigh, and gave Dipper a small smile. "You realize no matter what we say, we can't _force_ Arden to change the way she's doing things, right?"

Dipper grinned. "So you'll come with me? I want to go soon, before Mabel gets there for her training today."

Beithe nodded, and drained her coffee mug, then got up and placed it in the sink.

"Yes, Dipper, I'll go with you. Just let me go get changed out of my pajamas. Be ready to blip in five."

Dipper gave her a thumbs up, and downed the rest of his sweet, now-lukewarm coffee in two gulps. He knew they'd be able to help Mabel. Arden was one of the good guys. She had to listen to reason.

/

Cold, gray light was just beginning to touch the treetops surrounding the Gravnemeta when Dipper and Beithe blipped over.

"Hello Beithe, Dipper. It is a bit early for visiting, is it not?" said Arden, who appeared directly in front of them, her arms folded across her chest. She was in her full goddess form, antlers sticking up through her windswept mass of dark brown curls.

"I'm afraid this isn't a social call, Arden," said Beithe. "Dipper?"

Dipper glanced over at Beithe with a scowl. He had hoped she'd do most of the talking, since she knew Arden best. Beithe didn't make eye-contact with Dipper, but the corners of her mouth twitched slightly.

"You have something to say to me, kid?" said Arden, raising an eyebrow.

"Kid. Ha…be-because goat…" Dipper trailed off. He suddenly didn't know what to do with his hands. Without meaning to, he conjured a pair of fluffy mittens onto them. Beside him Beithe began to cough, in an attempt to disguise the giggle that she'd let slip.

Dipper shrugged. "So I have mittens now. That's… something."

"Yes, that shade of pink really suits you," said Arden tersely. "Now what do you want?"

"Oh, yeah," said Dipper uncomfortably, pulling the mittens off. "So you've been kind of pushing Mabel really hard and she's miserable and I think you should be nicer to her and not beat her up so bad and let her have more rest and some armor maybe?"

Arden stared at the satyr in front of her, seeming to take a moment to process what he'd said. Her face was unreadable as she turned to Beithe.

"Do you think I'm being too hard on Mabel?" Arden asked her old friend, the tone of her voice as unreadable as her countenance.

Beithe scratched the back of her head and shrugged. "The little Norse puppy-god seems pretty sure you're being too hard on her," she said slowly, "and Soos told Dipper that Mabel comes home covered in bruises, and that he hears her crying in the shower."

Arden stared at Beithe for a moment, then turned back to Dipper. "You _do_ realize what I am training your sister for, right? You know what she is up against?"

"Uh…" Dipper faltered, wondering if it was a trick question. "Creatures invading the Gravnemeta from other realms?"

Arden nodded. "Creatures, yes. But also _gods_. Gods from pantheons even more ancient than ours. Vengeful gods, who are bitter that humanity has all but forgotten them. Believe it or not, Dipper, not all gods are as nice as those of us from the Green Realm. In fact, I am surprised that mangy Norse whelp has not turned on you yet."

Dipper stared down at his hooves, as what Arden said sunk in.

"You alright, Dip?" asked Beithe, laying a warm hand on his shoulder. Dipper nodded mutely, then looked back up at Arden, fire in his eyes.

"Vengeful gods," he said quietly. "You want my sister—my _human_ sister—to fight _vengeful gods_?"

"You see now why I am—"

"Arden," Dipper said, cutting her off. "You're going to get Mabel killed! You know mortals can't kill gods. Why don't you do what Puck did for me, and make her a god, to give her a fighting chance?"

"As an elder god, as well as the Green Man's brother, Puck has more freedom than most gods when it comes to bestowing the gift of godhood," explained Arden with a sigh. "I cannot just transform Mabel into a goddess all willy-nilly. She has to prove herself worthy."

"But she might have to fight _gods_!" cried Dipper. "She can't very well prove herself worthy if she's _dead_."

Dipper looked at Beithe for back-up, but she held up her hands and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Dipper, but what she says is true—lesser gods can't… 'godify' mortals the way Puck did for you." Beithe paused and winced at her unintentional rhyme, before continuing. "Not unless they do something big and heroic—something that proves that their character transcends their mortality."

"Dipper, you seem to think my intention is to train Mabel and then just leave her here to defend the Gravnemeta on her own," said Arden, her hands on her hips. "That is simply not the case. She will help me, but I will be with her. I am not going to just leave her by herself when the entire mundane realm is threatened."

"Oh," said Dipper.

Arden smirked. "Feel better?"

"Sort of?" said Dipper, rubbing the back of his neck. "But what about her always being bruised and stuff?"

"What about _who_ always being bruised and stuff?" said Mabel, emerging from the trees behind Arden. She was wearing black leggings and a hot pink tank top, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. "You're not talking about _me_ , are you, Dipper?"

"Woah, I didn't hear you coming!" said Dipper, chuckling nervously.

"Good," she replied, without smiling. "Moving silently through the woods is something Arden has been teaching me. What are you _doing_ here Dipper?" She glanced at Beithe. "And you, too, why are you guys here?"

"Um, I'm trying to be a good brother, I guess," said Dipper. "Because you're always so tired and miserable and bruised and I think Arden might be working you too hard…" He trailed off slowly at the look of anger on his twin's face.

"How would you know?" she spat. "It's not like I've seen you for more than like fifteen whole minutes since the day you came back from the Green Realm."

 _Told you_ said Fenris smugly, from somewhere out of sight.

Dipper's eyes darted around the edge of the clearing, looking in vain for his friend, who was hidden among the trees. He then turned to Beithe and Arden, to see if they had heard the Norse god of destruction in their heads. Neither gave any indication that they had.

"Look, Mabel, I'm sorry," Dipper said as he turned back to his sister, breaking the awkward silence. "I just—I didn't realize that—"

"Don't worry about it," Mabel interrupted coldly. "I don't need your help. What I _need_ is to get started training. You should leave."

Dipper flinched, as if Mabel had slapped him. He opened his mouth to say more, but Beithe gently touched his shoulder, the air pressure around him changed, everything went momentarily dark, and he found himself back in the Corduroy's living room.

"I'm sorry to have blipped you away so abruptly, Dipper," said Beithe. She sat down on the sofa and patted the seat beside her. Dipper sunk down into it wordlessly and stared at his hands.

"I was worried that you were just going to end up arguing with Mabel," continued Beithe. "You'd already said your piece to Arden. Now it is up to her as to whether she will heed your words in regards to your sister's training regimen."

Dipper sighed and ran his fingers through his unkempt hair. "I really screwed things up. I mean, Mabel's always been…I've seen her act like that to _other_ people before, but never me. That look she gave me—that's always been reserved for kids who would bully me in school. She always got them to stop somehow… I never figured out her trick."

"So what you're saying, is that Mabel is a protector," said Beithe. "Your sister has always looked after you."

"Well, yeah…I guess," said Dipper slowly. "I mean, we looked after each other…"

"This is how I see it," said Beithe, lightly grabbing Dipper's chin to turn his head toward her. "You're a god now. Immortal. Capable of magic. Mabel doesn't need to protect you anymore. But she still has the protector's instinct—that's most likely what drew Arden's attention to her. Mabel wants to make sure that all her family and friends are safe, and Arden has offered her training to be able to do that. She seems to be taking it very seriously. Dipper, you should allow her this."

Dipper leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. "But what if she gets hurt?"

"I think she's aware of what could happen to her. Arden doesn't mince words. That's not her style," said Beithe, a small smile playing at her lips. "The best thing you can do for your sister now is to be there for her. Remind her she's not alone in all this. Be the brother she deserves."

Dipper nodded mutely. A loud clatter from the kitchen made them both jump.

"Looks like the Corduroy clan awakens," said Beithe, grinning. She patted Dipper on the knee, and got up, headed toward the kitchen.

Dipper stayed in his seat, staring at his hands again, lost in thought.

/

Fenris was pleased to see that Arden had at least listened to Dipper on one account—as he watched quietly from the shadows of the forest, Arden presented Mabel with a hooded, sleeveless, fitted black leather cuirass, as well as matching bracers and greaves.

Fenris crept forward to better hear what Mabel and Arden were saying.

"This isn't because of Dipper, is it?" asked Mabel softly, as she laced up the front of the cuirass. "You don't have to listen to him—I'm fine."

Arden smiled. "I had actually already planned to give you the armor today anyway. Even though leather armor is considered 'light,' it is heavier than the practice clothing you are accustomed to." She knelt to help Mabel lace up her greaves. "I wanted you to gain strength before I gifted you the armor, because wearing it will be tiring and uncomfortable—at first. But I think you are strong enough now to work through any fatigue the armor may cause."

"Oh," said Mabel, her cheeks turning pink. "You think I've gotten stronger?"

"Do not act so humble," Arden said with a chuckle. She gripped Mabel's left bicep. "Flex."

Mabel's ears reddened, but she did what she was asked.

"You are quite a bit more solid than you were a month ago," said Arden. "Your stamina is better too." She stood up, and planted both fists on her hips. "I think you are ready."

Fenris cocked his head to the side. Ready for what? Surely Arden didn't plan on leaving Mabel to protect the Gravnemeta alone.

Mabel's voice echoed Fenris's concern. "Ready for what, exactly?"

"This," said Arden. She held out her hands, and a long polearm with a wickedly sharp-looking sword attached to the end of it appeared in her grasp. "The glaive."

/

Mabel arrived back at the Mystery Shack a bit later than usual, sweaty and disheveled, but grinning at the antics of the shaggy black puppy darting around her feet. She was still wearing her new armor, and her glaive was slung over her shoulder, the sword on its end wrapped in heavy, red wool fabric, tied on with a white ribbon.

She pushed the back door to the house open, and called out. "Grunkle Ford, I'm home! Sorry I'm late, I—"

She stopped short, as Pacifica swept in quickly from the gift-shop with her finger to her lips.

"Ixnay on the odsgay!" she muttered, and glanced behind her to the tall, bespectacled young man following her through the door, who raised a single eyebrow at Mabel's attire and weaponry.

"Is there some kind of medieval faire or re-enactment going on, Paz?" he asked with mild curiosity. "Fancy dress party, maybe?"

Pacifica shook her head gently, and held a hand to her forehead. "Yeah, Den, you just missed it, though. This is Mabel. She lives here. Oh, and her puppy, Fenris. Mabel, this is my cousin Denis. I was just giving him a tour of the Shack. He's visiting for the weekend. I get to chauffer him around."

Denis glanced at his cousin and smirked. "That implies that you're the one driving _me_ around, cuz." He held his hand out to Mabel, and smiled. "Nice to meet you."

Mabel looked down at her dirty, blister-covered hand, winced, and then held it up and waggled her fingers. "You probably don't want to shake this—but nice to meet you anyway, Denis."

Denis withdrew his proffered hand.

"Well, Mabel should probably go clean up," said Pacifica, as she attempted steer her cousin away by the elbow. "She smells like… exercise."

Mabel looked down at her feet, her cheeks red. Fenris, noticing her embarrassment, yipped to draw attention away from Mabel's discomfort. He needn't have, however.

"Wow, Paz, that was rude of you," Denis scolded his younger cousin, pulling his arm away from her. "You don't smell bad, Mabel. You actually smell nice, like pine trees and leather."

Mabel's cheeks turned an even deeper shade of crimson, as she looked up at Denis from under her eyelashes.

"Pacifica never has been one to use tact," continued Denis, gracing Mabel with a winning smile. "I'm not sure she knows the meaning of the word."

Fenris could tell Mabel wasn't embarrassed anymore. In fact, she seemed pleased. Fenris didn't know how to feel about that. He was used to being the only one to be able to cheer up Mabel. He should be happy that Denis's words had comforted Mabel. Instead, Fenris felt a hollow sensation in his gut, and… anger? Denis hadn't done anything to be angry about. Confused, Fenris, let out a small whimper and sat on top of Mabel's feet.

Mabel leaned her glaive against the wall, and reached down to pick up the puppy, holding him to her chest.

"What's wrong, Fen?" she asked, rubbing his ears gently. He burrowed closer against Mabel, and let out another small whimper, enjoying the attention.

"I've never heard him whimper like that before," Mabel explained to Pacifica and Denis, before focusing again on Fenris. "You okay, buddy?"

"Do you mind if I take a look at him?" asked Denis, reaching toward Fenris. "I'm taking college-level classes this year and next so that I'll be able to become a certified veterinary technician after I graduate high school."

"Oh, that's really cool!" enthused Mabel.

"Ugh, don't encourage him," muttered Pacifica. "Unless you want to be lectured on proper canine nutrition and the importance of spaying and neutering your animals."

Mabel shrugged and grinned. She held Fenris out toward Denis, face first.

Fenris felt his anger flare up again, and a low growl rumbled deep in his chest. He snarled at Denis, forgetting that he was not in his fearsome wolf form. The snarl did the trick, however, and Denis withdrew his hands.

"Fenris!" cried Mabel. "What's gotten into you? _Bad boy_!" She sat him unceremoniously on the floor with a thump. "I'm so sorry, he's never acted like that before!"

Mabel was upset with him now. Fenris had seen Mabel upset plenty of times before, but it was never at him. Thoroughly ashamed of himself, he tucked his tail between his legs and stared at the floor, his ears drooping.

"Aw, it's okay," said Denis, with a wave of his hand. "If he's not feeling good, he may act different than normal. If he doesn't seem to perk up by tomorrow, you may want to take him to your vet, though. Especially if you notice any vomiting or diarrhea."

"Okay, ew," said Pacifica. "On that note, it's time to go, Den." She began to push him back toward the gift shop door.

"Okay, thanks. Nice to meet you!" Mabel called out as Pacifica and Denis disappeared into the gift shop.

Mabel turned back to Fenris, who gave her his most pitiful puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, you _should_ be ashamed, mister," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm gonna get cleaned up. You go to my room and think about what you've done."

Mabel grabbed her glaive and started up the stairs at a trot. Fenris, who was normally right at her heels, slowly slunk up the stairs behind her, his tail still between his legs. He couldn't _stop_ thinking about what he'd done… he was as confused about it as Mabel was.

/

Mabel was finishing her daily studies in Ford's laboratory when she heard the faint clomp of hooves, as well as the shuffle of human footsteps coming from the floor above.

"Oh great," she muttered. "Hey Fen, your buddy Dipper's here…oh." She peered under the table where Fenris would normally be laying at her feet, and remembered that he'd stayed up in her room this time—of his own volition, in fact. Mabel felt a twinge of guilt. The scolding she'd given him had definitely taken, maybe a little too well.

Mabel closed her notebook with a sigh, and tossed her pencil lightly aside. She wasn't particularly sure she wanted to see Dipper after this morning, but she wanted to ask him about Fenris's strange behavior. She stood and stretched his stiff muscles, then strode to the elevator and rode it up to the gift shop.

Mabel pushed the secret door behind the vending machine open, and nearly jumped out of her skin as she was hit by a wall of sound.

"SURPRISE!" cried the roomful of people.

The gift shop had been decorated with multicolored balloons and streamers, and fairy lights were strung on all the walls and doorways. There was a small buffet of snacks, complete with a chocolate fountain, set up on the counter next to the till.

Dipper, Wendy, Beithe, Arden, Grenda, Bork, Soos, Melody, and both Grunkles grinned at Mabel as she stared at them, mouth agape.

"Wh—I—huh?" was all Mabel could manage.

Dipper stepped forward, wringing his hands nervously. Before he could open his mouth to speak, a pair of fluffy, pink mittens appeared on them.

"Oh—what—again?" he said. He sighed and pulled the mittens off, and held them out to Mabel. "Mittens?"

Mabel reached out and took the mittens, clutching them to her chest. "What… what's this for?"

"Oh, well, apparently when I don't know what to do with my hands I conjure mittens," explained Dipper. "Not really sure why…?"

Mabel laughed. "No, Dipstick, not the mittens. (Thanks, though, they're really nice). But the party? Why the party?"

"Oh, hurr durr," said Dipper, facepalming. "Yeah, the party. It's just kind of… because? I wanted to do something to show you how much we all appreciate you—how much _I_ appreciate you. Things have been… differenty…lately. But you're still the best sister I could ever ask for—and you're training so hard, and sacrificing so much, just to protect us all. You're amazing, Mabel. I'm sorry I haven't been a good brother lately."

Mabel tried to respond, but the lump in her throat prevented it. She wiped her eyes, which were leaking for some reason, and threw herself forward, hugging her brother tightly.

The room burst into cheers, startling Mabel again. She had forgotten anyone else was there. She pulled back, and looked at her friends and family.

"Well, are we going to party, or are we going to _party?!_ "

Dipper grinned. "There's the Mabel we all know and love! Hit it Soos!"

"You got it, Goat Bro!" cried the man-child, with a thumbs up. Soon 80's pop music was blaring, and Mabel was dancing with Grenda and Wendy, without a care in the world.

/

The party was going strong. Soos and Grenda were competing to see who could eat the most chocolate-covered marshmallows, while Stan took bets. As Dipper watched his sister laughing and cheering from across the room, he felt a warm hand slip around his waist from behind.

"Hey pretty lady," he murmured, leaning back into Wendy's embrace.

"Hey yourself, boy-o," she whispered into his ear, before gently nibbling on his earlobe.

Dipper involuntarily shuddered. "You…you are _such_ a tease," he said, his voice trembling.

"And you wouldn't have it any other way," Wendy breathed hotly into his ear, her soft fingers tracing a path over his bare chest.

Dipper bit his lower lip. "Hnnnnggggg," was all he could say. He backed up slowly, until he and Wendy were both in the aisle between two of the gift shop shelves, out of view of the rest of the party. When he was sure no one could see them, he swiftly turned, grabbed Wendy's waist, pulled her close, and pressed his mouth against hers forcefully.

Wendy returned his kiss with just as much force. She ran her fingers through his shaggy brown hair, gripped it tightly, and pressed her whole body into his. She ground her hips into his, and moaned low against his mouth.

Dipper pulled his mouth away from hers, panting. Their eyes met, and in Wendy's glittering emerald gaze he saw nothing but lust. He smirked, and leaned in so his mouth was next to her ear.

"Turnabout's fair play," he breathed. "Time for me to tease you." He nibbled her earlobe softly, then moved down, and gently kissed the hollow at the base of her throat. He began to unbutton her flannel shirt, and continued to press kisses into her neck, and then trailed his tongue slowly down her chest, to the top of her cleavage.

"Mmmmm," said Wendy. "Don't stop, Dipper. Please don't stop…"

 _Dipper_?

Dipper's head shot up immediately. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Um, _what_?" snapped Wendy, all traces of lust melting away from her gaze.

"Oh, shit! No, no, no, nononono! Not you, Wendy!" said Dipper, panicking. "Sorry, sorry! Fenris just talked to me, in my head."

Wendy stared at Dipper for a moment, and then burst out laughing. "Gods, you're adorable when you panic."

Dipper feigned irritation. "I'm not _adorable_ , I'm _manly_."

Wendy raised an eyebrow. "Mandorable?"

Dipper pursed his lips. "That is acceptable."

"Good," said Wendy, gently booping Dipper on the nose. "Where is the pupper, anyway? I haven't seen him all evening."

"Now that you mention it, neither have I," said Dipper, frowning.

 _Dipper, can I have a word? I'm in Mabel's room._

"He's in Mabel's room," supplied Dipper.

Wendy narrowed her eyes. "But you just said—"

Dipper grinned and tapped his forehead.

"Ah," said Wendy, as she rebuttoned the top of her shirt. "You better go see what he wants. I wanna see who won the marshmallow-eating-contest anyway."

Dipper nodded. "I placed my bet on Grenda. If she won, Grunkle Stan better pay up."

Wendy grabbed Dipper's hand and gently squeezed it. "As for our…discussion…that was interrupted? We'll continue that later." She winked, then turned and strode over to the rest of the partiers.

Dipper's cheeks flushed. "Yes, ma'am."

/

"What's up, dog?"

Fenris raised his head to see Dipper standing in the doorway of Mabel's bedroom, a cheeky grin on his face. Fenris sighed, and rested his chin on his front paws again.

"Oh come on, not even a little waggle? Nothing?" said Dipper, pressing his hand against his heart. "I'm hurt!"

 _Ha. Ha._

"Okay with the sarcasm, then," said Dipper, slightly miffed. He sat down on the edge of his old bed, and stared at the forlorn puppy laying on the floor. "What's going on with you? How come you're not downstairs enjoying the party?"

 _Oh, so that's what all that noise is. A party. I can hear Mabel laughing. Is that Denis guy there_?

"Oh…oh crap. Nobody told you about the party," Dipper said, guilt sweeping over him like a wave. "I'm so sorry, dude. We all assumed you were hanging with Mabel, like you always do, and would find out about the party when she did. So, you've been up here the whole time? And who the hell is Denis?"

Fenris felt his tail wag involuntarily. Denis wasn't there. Good.

 _Yeah, Mabel was upset with me earlier, so I didn't want to make things worse by following her around. And Denis…he's the blonde human's relative._

"Oh, yeah, Pacifica did say she couldn't come to the party because she and her parents are entertaining family from out of town. That makes sense," said Dipper with a nod. "But what could you possibly have done to upset Mabel? She loves you! And you can't even talk to her, so it's not like you said something rude…"

Fenris lowered his head, and couldn't look Dipper in the eye.

 _I was… well. Pacifica embarrassed Mabel… and then Denis comforted Mabel. She smiled at him a lot. Mabel was handing me to him because she thought I might be sick…and he does school or something for "veterinary technician" and basically I growled and snarled at him and that made Mabel mad._

Dipper was silent for a long moment—long enough that Fenris dared to look up at him. Finally, Dipper spoke.

"Dude. You're jealous."

 _That is not a word I know_.

Dipper chuckled. "He comforted her. And that made you mad, right?"

 _I don't know about mad… it's just…I am used to being the one who makes Mabel smile. I found it…disconcerting…that he so easily was able to take my place_.

"Well, to be fair, he can actually talk to her, and you can't," said Dipper. "But that doesn't mean he took your place… words can be very comforting, but that doesn't mean Mabel will find any less comfort in you."

Fenris sighed. _I wish I could talk to her. Stupid non-human-shaped vocal cords._

Dipper awkwardly knelt down to onto the floor, and reached out to scratch the top of Fenris's head.

"One awesome thing about Mabel," said Dipper thoughtfully, "is that she doesn't hold grudges. Not for long, anyway. I bet she's already forgotten all about your… incident… with Denis."

 _I hope so. I don't like being in the dog-house._

"Ah! Haha I see what you did there! That's more like it," Dipper said, grinning. "We need to hang out more often… I'm worried that your witty banter skills are becoming rusty."

Fenris whuffed softly. _Feel free to come hang out in the woods with me while Mabel trains. I still don't trust the antler lady. She reminds me too much of the antler guy. The one who wanted to shoot me in the face with an arrow? Who tried to grope your tree-princess? Antlerita may not be a'bad guy' in the same way her brother isn't a 'bad guy.' But you can be an asshole without being evil, you know?_

Dipper laughed. "I want that printed on a t-shirt. 'You can be an asshole without being evil.'" He stood up and walked over to the door. "How about you come join the party? It sounds like it's still going strong."

 _Nah, I think I'll stay up here. But thanks for talking to me. You're not bad for a Green Realm dude._

Dipper flapped a hand at his friend. "Aw shucks, you're makin' me blush." He opened the door, then turned and nodded to Fenris. "Later, doggo."

Fenris lay on the floor, alone with his thoughts, until Mabel returned.

Dipper was right—Mabel didn't hold a grudge. After the party wound down, she came upstairs and fell into bed.

"Fen?" she mumbled, feeling around for her puppy in the darkness. Fenris cautiously hopped onto the bed, and touched his nose to her cheek, causing her to giggle. She picked him up and held him close like a teddy bear.

"You're a good boy," she murmured into his fur, then kissed the top of his head. "I love you, Fenris."

 _I love you, too._

/

Morning dawned much too early, as far as Mabel was concerned. She groggily dressed in leggings and a tank top, and was beginning to head downstairs when she heard a soft whuff. She turned to see her shaggy, black puppy, his head cocked to the side, holding one of her leather bracers in his mouth.

"Ah, crap my armor… and my glaive!" She grabbed her cuirass and started putting it on over her tank top. "You are _such_ a good boy, Fen! Arden would have turned me into a moose or something if I forgot all my new gear the day after she gave it to me!"

Fenris sneezed. He wouldn't put it past Arden to turn Mabel into a moose.

Once Mabel was garbed in her armor, with her glaive over her shoulder, she took off for the Gravnemeta at a run. She would have to set her alarm even earlier now, to make up for the time it took to don her armor, with all the straps and laces involved.

As Mabel approached the Gravnemeta, she shooed Fenris away. "You know if she sees you she'll just get angry," she said apologetically, reaching down to pat his head. He licked her hand, then whuffed softly, and scampered off to find a hiding spot with a good view of the clearing.

For about an hour, Fenris watched as Mabel repeated the same glaive drills over and over, with Arden occasionally stopping her to correct her form. Fenris felt his eyes growing heavy. He hadn't slept until Mabel came to bed late last night. He wasn't sure if it was because he was in the mundane realm, or because he was in the body of a puppy, but it surprised him how much sleep he required now. In his full wolf form, he barely required any sleep, and in the dog form he'd been in when he first met Dipper, he could usually go days with only a short nap to sustain him.

Fenris yawned and blinked slowly, laying his head on his paws.

A scream tore through the Gravnemeta, and Fenris shot up, suddenly on alert. The sun was higher in the sky than he remembered it being only moments ago. He must have actually fallen asleep. He blinked blearily, his heart pounding.

"ARDEN! SOMEONE, HELP!" shrieked Mabel.

Fenris flew into the clearing, and his hackles rose. Three grayish, winged, humanoid creatures were swooping down at Mabel, raptor-like claws on their feet outstretched. Arden was nowhere in sight.

Fenris had never seen creatures like these. Their eyes glowed a deep red, as if lit from within by some demonic hellfire. When they opened their mouths to shriek, foul black smoke poured out. They reeked of decay.

Mabel was putting up a good fight, slicing and jabbing at the creatures with her razor-sharp glaive, not allowing them to get close enough to attack her in earnest. However, she was tiring quickly, and was clearly outmatched.

One of the creatures managed to dodge the glaive, and raked its claws along the exposed flesh of Mabel's upper left arm. Blood flowed fast and freely, and Mabel cried out in pain.

Fenris saw the creature who had just injured Mabel wheel around, and smile malevolently as it held its hands together, and formed a ball of blue flames. Mabel didn't see it, being busy trying to keep the other two winged creatures from flying low enough to strike her.

 _MABEL GET DOWN!_ screamed Fenris with all his might.

All that Mabel heard was a high-pitched yelp from her puppy. She turned to look at Fenris, her eyes wide, as an enormous ball of sapphire flame hit her back and blossomed out around her, throwing her to the ground.

It wasn't a choice, it was instinct—with the sound of a sonic boom, Fenris exploded into his full wolf form.

 _DIPPER, WENDY, BEITHE, ANY GODS WHO CAN HEAR ME—GET TO THE GRAVNEMETA NOW! MABEL IS HURT, BADLY!_

Fenrir leapt at the creature who had thrown the fireball, snarling. It dodged his fangs, and his teeth came together with an audible clack. The creature opened its mouth, and appeared to be shouting, although Fenrir heard its voice as no more than a harsh whisper.

"We know who you are," it hissed. "You bring nothing but destruction, chaos, and misery. You are fighting on the wrong side, Fenrir. You are one of us. Join us. Embrace your destiny."

 _NEVER._

Fenrir leapt, and snatched the creature's legs, yanking it out of the sky, and shaking it around like a rag-doll. With the creature still in his mouth he raced closer to the giant oak tree, and shook it so that its head hit the tree trunk with a loud crack. Fenrir spat the mangled creature out, so that it dropped limply to the ground. He placed a gigantic paw against its chest, but he needn't have bothered—the creature was not moving, its eyes now a dull pink, its mouth frozen in a terrified scream. Not wanting to take any chances, Fenrir clamped his mouth over the creature's head, and with a loud, sucking, popping noise, tore the creature's head from its body. Its blood burnt the insides of his mouth like acid, but if Fenrir felt pain, he didn't acknowledge it. He turned, his chest heaving, to attack the other two creatures—but they were gone.

Instead he was met with the sight of Dipper, Wendy, Beithe, Puck, and a small, unfamiliar woman, standing over Mabel's prone form. She was laid out on a stretcher, a light blanket over her lower half. Her face was bone white.

 _Mabel!_ he cried in anguish. _She's not—is—is she?_

"Mabel is in critical condition, but she's stable," the small woman spoke up. "I am not as good as Arduinna at treating battle injuries such as these, however. Where is she?"

Fenrir sat down with a thump, his eyes not leaving Mabel's ashen face. _I don't know. I—I fell asleep, and woke up to Mabel screaming, under attack from three malevolent winged creatures. I have no idea where Arden is_.

"Three?" questioned Beithe. "When we arrived we only saw the one you were fighting."

"Then the other two could still be out here somewhere?" asked Dipper, hatred making his voice hard. He peered at the tree line, as if expecting them to jump out.

Puck, who was being unusually quiet, finally spoke up. "Sirona, you and the others take Mabel to my—Tad Strange's house. I have a spare bedroom you can use as a temporary clinic. Fenrir, you stay. We need to talk."

Fenrir watched anxiously as the rest of the group blipped Mabel away to Tad Strange's house. Once they were gone, he turned to Puck.

 _I didn't mean to let her get hurt_. _I didn't do anything wrong._

Puck looked taken aback. "I wasn't aware of accusing you of anything? In fact, when it comes time to point fingers, it's Arden who's going to have a lot to answer for."

 _Oh,_ said Fenrir sheepishly. _Then what do we need to talk about?_

"Come with me," said Puck, as he wandered over toward the oak tree and the creature's corpse. "I want to poke it with a stick."

 _Um._

Puck chuckled darkly. "I just wanna find out what kind of baddy we're dealing with, kid. Was it any kind of creature you've come across before?"

Fenrir shook his head. _Never. But whatever they are is pure evil._

Puck produced a large stick, and indeed, began poking the creature's mangled body with it. He then poked its decapitated head, which was lying face down, so that he could see its facial features.

"Yeesh," said Puck, taking a step back. "Almost looks like a weeping angel. Have you seen a blue box around here anywhere?"

 _A blue—what?_

Puck flapped his hand impatiently. "Pop culture reference. Never you mind. Now, how did it attack?"

 _Well, claws… and it took Mabel down with a big blue fireball._ Fenrir felt his blood run cold as he remembered the face Mabel had made—her wide, surprised, eyes—as the fireball exploded against her back.

"Well, shit," said Puck. "I think I know what they are. And there are a lot of them. I've never dealt with them, because their realm has been tightly sealed for millennia…yeah," Puck rubbed the back of his neck, and poked the creature's head so that it was no longer staring vacantly up at them. "Yeah, this ain't good. I gotta go find Arden."

Fenrir barely heard anything Puck said. He couldn't get Mabel's face out of his mind. He heard a soft pop, and when he looked up, Puck was gone, leaving him alone with the remains of the creature who had nearly killed Mabel—who had said he was 'one of them.'

Fenrir threw his head back, and let loose a long, mournful howl, that echoed off the nearby mountains. Mabel had been attacked, and when he tried to warn her about the fireball, he'd only ended up startling her, and distracting her from her foes. He couldn't protect Mabel in his puppy form, and he doubted very much that he would be able to comfort her as a gigantic wolf.

 _Why does it have to be either/or? Why can't I keep her safe, and comfort her? Why can't I just_ talk _to her?_

Fenrir wailed in frustration, and took off at a run, into the woods, in the opposite direction of Gravity Falls.

/

/

/

Sorry for the long wait! I hope this was worth it. Thanks for reading, and for all your follows, favorites, and especially your reviews. I appreciate them so much!

Hearts and flowers,

Geeky


	21. Worlds Collide, Chapter Three

Worlds Collide

Chapter Three

Early morning sunlight filtered in through the curtains, and fell across Mabel's face. She was pale, but looked otherwise healthy. The laceration on her upper arm was healed—the only thing that gave any indication of wound's previous existence was a line of pink scar tissue. The burns on her back from the fireball were still healing, but floating in a makeshift spring in Tad Strange's spare bedroom was hurrying the process along considerably.

"Sirona, can I come in?" a voice called through the door.

Sirona glanced at her charge, to make sure that the current from the spring hadn't dislodged the sheet covering Mabel's naked form.

"Yeah, Dipper, come on in!" chirped Sirona.

Dipper pushed open the door, and took a seat on a moss-covered boulder situated next to the spring. He peered down at his twin's face, hoping to see her staring back at him. Her eyes remained closed.

"She's going to wake up soon, right?" asked Dipper, with a small frown. "It's been a week since she got hurt—isn't magical healing supposed to be faster than this?"

The petite, colorfully tattooed brunette sighed, and looked down at the albino Burmese python slithering up the side of the stone bench on which she was perched.

"How many times has he asked us that, Cecil?" she asked. "I think that's the fourth time since yesterday morning."

The snake reached her lap, and laid its head across it like a dog. Sirona nodded and absently rubbed the top of its head with a finger.

"Cecil says to tell you to be patient," said Sirona. She smiled at the worried satyr. "As I've told you, I can't know for certain when she'll wake up, but yes it should be soon. You have to remember, sweetie, she had third degree burns on her back! Even with magical help, it takes a body a lot of time and energy to come back from an injury like that."

Dipper looked at his hands, sheepishly. "Sorry," he mumbled. "It's just—with her being in a coma, and both Fenris and Arden missing, I'm kind of freaking out."

Sirona raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of Arden, does Puck think he's any closer to tracking her down?"

"Well, when I talked to him last night, he told me he thought he was getting close," said Dipper. "He was able to confirm his suspicion that the creatures that attacked the Gravnemeta were, in fact, daevas."

Sirona pursed her lips. "Oh dear, that's not good at all. And your Norse wolf friend—I wonder where he ran off to? And for that matter, why?"

"I think Fenris blames himself for Mabel getting hurt," said Dipper. "He'd kind of appointed himself Mabel's guardian, so he's probably off somewhere, flagellating himself for failing her. I wish he would come home. None of us thinks that what happened to Mabel was his fault."

"What's that Cecil?" asked Sirona, looking down at the python. "Indeed, I believe you are right." She looked back up at Dipper. "Cecil says that the tendency to always be harder on oneself, more so than one would be to others in the same situation, apparently manifests in gods as well as humans."

"Too right, Cecil," said Dipper, nodding to the snake. "Well, I need to go. It's my shift to guard the Gravnemeta."

"Take care, Dipper," said Sirona. "And don't worry about Mabel—she's a fighter. She'll be up soon."

/

The cheerful tinkling sound of water splashing over rocks was the first thing Mabel noticed when she woke up. She opened her eyes slowly, feeling completely disoriented.

"Wet," she mumbled. She stared up at the ceiling of a darkened room, which was confusing, because she was lying in running water. She slowly sat up, wincing slightly as her movement pulled at the taut, barely healed tissue covering her back.

She looked down, and visually confirmed what she had both heard and felt: she was in what appeared to be a natural spring, surrounded by moss-covered rocks and a stone bench…inside a house. But not her house—not her room.

Mabel then realized that she was in the nude, covered only by a thin sheet, which was just as soaked as she was. She hugged the sheet to her chest, and shivered. The water was lukewarm and pleasant, but sitting up had caused a draft to hit her upper body, instantly chilling her.

"Hello?" Mabel called out. "Is anyone there?"

A light, crunching sound, like something sliding over pebbles, came from her left. Mabel didn't see what was causing it until it slithered into a moonbeam coming in through the window.

"Oh," said Mabel, quietly. "Snake. Big snake." She stared at it, and it flicked its tiny, forked tongue at her. She stuck her tongue out back at it.

Mabel jumped, startled, as the door to the room burst open. She turned, expecting to see Arden, or maybe Dipper, but instead was greeted by a smiling stranger.

"It's about time you woke up, kiddo! You've had everyone worried sick!"

"Uh, sorry?" said Mabel. "Um, who are you?"

"Oh, durr. I'm not so good with introductions. My name is Sirona, and it appears you've already met my buddy, Cecil."

Mabel glanced at the python. "Hi, Cecil."

Cecil nodded to her.

"So, you're a goddess?" prompted Mabel, turning back to face Sirona.

"Yeppers," said Sirona. "Goddess of healing springs and snakes. It's kind of a niche position."

"Healing springs," echoed Mabel. "I guess that explains…" she paused and waved a hand at her surroundings.

"Indeed," said Sirona, in mock seriousness. She leaned over the spring and held a hand out to Mabel. "Now, up you get. I need to have a look at your back, and then you'd probably appreciate some clothing, no?"

Sirona pulled Mabel to her feet, and helped her step out of the water. Mabel still clung to the soggy sheet with one arm, as water slowly trickled down her body. Sirona led Mabel to the stone bench, and traded her soaked sheet for a warm, dry version of the same. Mabel mumbled her thanks.

"Does the skin on your back still feel sore or tight?" asked Sirona. She stood behind Mabel, and ran her cool hands lightly over Mabel's injuries.

"Yeah, kind of," said Mabel. "If I bend too far or move too quickly it feels like it's pulling or something."

"I figured as much," said Sirona. "I'm going to rub a salve on your back that will help continue the healing process. It should moisturize and loosen the scar tissue a bit, so that movement will not cause that pulling sensation."

Mabel sighed as Sirona rubbed the salve into her back, the warmth from the concoction seeping through her skin and down into her tired muscles.

"So where's Arden?" asked Mabel. "She's a healer—why didn't _she_ heal me?"

"Mabel, what exactly do you remember about the fight that landed you in my care?" asked Sirona.

"Not much," admitted Mabel. "These ugly creatures with wings… and then I saw Fenris, and—oh my God, Fenris! Is he okay?"

"Oh, no worries," said Sirona. "I'm sure the Norse wolf is just fine. He took out one of those nasties with no help from anyone else. He sure has a voice on him, too. Well, 'voice,' I should say, on account of not having human vocal cords. But I heard him calling for help all the way at my clinic in Portland. He was really worried about you."

Mabel narrowed her eyes in confusion. She turned to look at Sirona.

"I'm not sure who you're talking about, but Fenris is my puppy."

Sirona frowned. "Well, I don't know what to tell you, darlin', but I didn't see any puppy at the Gravnemeta. Just a really upset Norse god of destruction." She finished rubbing the salve into Mabel's back, and wiped her hands on a cloth. Without giving Mabel a chance to ask questions, she continued speaking.

"Now, your brother wanted me to inform him as _soon_ as you woke up—but I figured you'd want to be clothed first. There's some clothes in that dresser there. I'm going to blip over and let your brother know you're awake, so you'd best hurry and get dressed."

Without another word, Sirona was gone. Mabel shook her head in confusion, and grabbed a t-shirt, and a pair of oversized gray sweatpants from the dresser. She had just finished pulling up the pants when there was a soft pop behind her, and she was nearly thrown back into the spring by a tacklehug from behind.

"MABEL! Holy crap, don't ever scare me like that again!" cried Dipper.

"Woah, easy on the goods, Dipstick!" said Mabel, with a grin. "I'm still kind of mending."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" said Dipper hastily, gently steering Mabel to sit back down on the stone bench. "I'm just so glad you're okay!"

Dipper sat next to Mabel, and grasped her hand. "You've been out for an entire week! Everyone's been crazy worried about you!"

"Is everyone else okay?" asked Mabel.

"Well," said Dipper slowly, "as far as we know…"

"Dipper," said Mabel, frowning, "what is that supposed to mean?" She pulled her hand out of his grasp and folded her arms across her chest.

"It's just—we're not sure where Arden is. You appeared to be alone in the Gravnemeta when the daevas attacked."

"The what?" asked Mabel, her brow furrowed.

"Daevas… they creatures that attacked you," said Dipper. "I'll have to have Puck or Beithe explain them to you, because I'm not even sure I understand."

Mabel nodded, and looked down at the stream.

"What about Fenris?" she asked quietly. "Sirona said she didn't see a puppy when she arrived at the Gravnemeta after the attack, but I _know_ he was there." Mabel paused and looked her brother in the eye.

"She _did_ , however, mention a wolf—the Norse god of destruction?"

Dipper's ears turned a deep shade of crimson.

"Yeah… I didn't mean for you to find out like this… I mean, I tried to tell you before, but you thought I was joking, so I just let it go…" Dipper paused, and rubbed the back of his neck. "I should have tried harder to tell you, but I thought it was kind of funny, you treating the Norse god of destruction as a pet…" He trailed off when he met Mabel's eyes.

"So let me get this straight," said Mabel quietly. "Fenris— _my_ little Fenris—is actually the Great Wolf from the Norse legends?"

Dipper nodded, and looked down at his hands.

"So. He's a god," Mabel continued. "The puppy, who has slept with me in my bed every night since he came with you from the Green Realm, is a god."

Dipper nodded again.

"Can he understand what I say?" asked Mabel. "Can you talk to him somehow? Sirona said he had quite a 'voice' on him."

"Yeah," said Dipper, still not meeting his sister's eyes. "He can speak to gods and magical creatures telepathically. He just can't be heard by pure humans. He was pretty upset that he couldn't talk to you. He really cares about you."

Mabel was quiet for several moments, prompting Dipper to look up at her. She was staring absently at the spring.

"Where is he?" she finally asked, her voice devoid of emotion. "If he cares about me so much, why isn't he here?"

"Well, that's the thing," said Dipper. "Fenris kind of blames himself for not being able to protect you. He was really upset. After Sirona arrived and we moved you here for treatment, he ran off. We haven't heard from him since."

"Do you think something bad happened to him?" asked Mabel. The idea of her puppy, alone in the woods (even if he _was_ a god), gave her a hollow feeling in her chest.

"No," said Dipper confidently. "He can take care of himself. Don't worry, Mabes, we'll find him."

"Okay," said Mabel softly. She hugged herself, and shivered slightly, even though she was now dry.

"Well, it's three-something in the morning," said Dipper. "I know you just woke up, but you should still try to get some rest. I asked Sirona if you could go home to the Shack, and she said you can if someone else stays with you. I'll stay tonight, and then Grenda and Wendy will probably take turns—how does that sound?"

Mabel shrugged. "Sounds okay. Just let me say 'bye to Sirona and Cecil."

Ten minutes later, jar of magical healing salve in hand, Mabel held onto Dipper's elbow as he blipped them over to Mabel's bedroom in the Mystery Shack. She fell into bed, and pretended to fall quickly asleep, but her mind was racing. She felt restless and uneasy without Fenris's small, furry presence. It would take some getting used to the idea that he was, in fact, a god, but nevertheless, she loved him, and was worried that nobody knew where he was.

The cold, gray pre-dawn light had only just started filtering through the triangle-shaped attic window when Mabel finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

/

His heart pounding, Fenris ran full-tilt toward the Gravnemeta. He heard shouting, and assumed it was under attack again. He tripped over an exposed root just before the break in the trees, and stumbled face-first into the loamy forest floor.

 _Stupid legs._

As he righted himself, he heard a bout of raucous laughter coming from where the shouting had been happening only moments before. He peered around a tree trunk, and sighed. The Gravnemeta wasn't under attack after all—Grenda, Wendy, and Beithe were apparently having a particularly vigorous training session.

Fenris began to slink back into the trees, when he heard a familiar voice call out a greeting.

"Hey guys!" called a grinning Dipper. He carried a duffle bag over one shoulder.

"Dipper, is it true?!" cried Grenda. "Did Mabel really wake up last night?"

Fenris suddenly felt lightheaded. He crept among the trees lining the outside edge of the Gravnemeta, so that he could get closer to his friends, and hear the news about Mabel.

"Yeah, it's true," said Dipper. He slung the duffle bag to the ground and bent over it, pulling out a small crossbow. "She's not one-hundred percent better, but Sirona gave her some salve that is supposed to help her back finish healing. She said someone just has to stay with Mabel to help her out, and apply the salve every so often."

"Sweet!" cried Grenda. "I'm gonna spend the night there tonight. SLUMBER PARTY!" She enthusiastically waved her wooden maul above her head, and did a little shimmy.

"Woah, there, troll-kin," said Beithe, holding up her hands. "She just came out of a coma—she's probably not up for a slumber party just yet."

"But Dipper just said that Mabel needs someone to stay with her if she's gonna recuperate at home!" pouted Grenda, her lower lip protruding slightly.

"Dude, you can totally stay with Mabel," said Wendy, resting an arm on Grenda's shoulder. "If you can tone down your Grenda Enthusiasm just a bit. Think you can handle that?"

Fenris didn't linger to hear the rest of the conversation. Mabel was awake. He set out at a trot in the direction of the Mystery Shack, determined to see for himself that she was okay.

/

The mid-morning light felt pleasant on Mabel's face. Soos had helped her downstairs, and out onto the porch, where she reclined, eyes closed, on the old couch. She was covered in a flannel blanket, due to the chill breeze, but the sunbeam falling across her face was warm.

Mabel had almost drifted off to sleep, when the sunbeam vanished, and from behind her closed eyelids, she noticed a shadow take its place. She opened her eyes and blinked slowly, then shot up in surprise, yelping. There was a dull crack, and Mabel held a hand to her forehead as she saw stars for a moment.

A young man, maybe fourteen or fifteen years old, had been bending over Mabel, peering closely at her face. The dull crack had been their foreheads connecting as Mabel sat up in shock. The impact had caused the boy to stumble back into the porch railing, clutching at his brow.

"Holy cheese and crackers, you scared the crap out of me!" cried Mabel. She eased herself up until she was fully sitting, and gave the young man a proper look.

He was pale, but not unhealthily so—in fact, there were splotches of bright red on his cheeks, no doubt due to embarrassment at being caught creeping on Mabel. His shaggy hair was a deep blue-black, unkempt, but not necessarily messy. A few strands fell into his face, and as he swept them aside, Mabel noticed his eyes were a deep, clear blue. He was dressed in tattered, holey jeans, and a threadbare t-shirt. He had a feral look about him, but when Mabel met his eyes, his features softened.

"So, uh, who are you, and why did I open my eyes to find you less than five inches from my face?" asked Mabel, attempting to sound nonchalant.

The boy bit his lip, his brow furrowed. He looked like he was concentrating. He opened his mouth, but instead of talking, he coughed hoarsely.

"You okay?" asked Mabel. "Need water or something?"

The boy shook his head in the negative. He opened his mouth again, let out a loud belch, and then slapped his hands over his mouth, eyes wide.

Mabel laughed, which made the boy smile in spite of himself.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" teased Mabel. The boy crinkled his nose, and sneezed softly. Mabel felt the smile slip from her face. Why did that seem so familiar?

"Yes or no questions, it is, I guess," said Mabel softly. She patted the seat next to her. "Sit down. So—are you from around here?"

The boy slowly crouched over the sofa, until he was a couple inches from the seat, then he collapsed down onto the cushion awkwardly. He turned and faced Mabel, and shook his head no.

"Okay," said Mabel. "Not from around here… are you from another country?"

The boy scrunched up his features, trying to figure out how to answer her. He settled on a half-nod, half-shake, which made his head sway like Stevie Wonder.

"I'm guessing that's yes _and_ no?" said Mabel, lifting a single eyebrow in confusion.

The boy simply nodded this time.

Mabel sighed. "So, if you're not, this is going to sound crazy—but based on your previous answer… are you a god?"

The boy met her gaze, his blue eyes intense. He nodded.

Mabel blew out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

"What pantheon?" she asked.

The boy tilted his head to the side, and arched his brow.

"Oh, sorry, not yes or no," mumbled Mabel. "Okay, then: are you from the Celtic or Gaulish pantheons like my brother and Puck and Arden?"

The boy shook his head no.

Mabel looked down at her hands. Her heart began to beat faster.

"Are you a Norse god?" she asked quietly, meeting his eyes.

A nod.

Mabel swallowed hard. "Do you know Fenris? Or could you get a message to him? I don't know where he is—" She cut herself off, and waited for an answer.

The boy nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. Then he touched his chest.

Mabel searched his face, her eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The boy chuckled, and touched his chest again. Then, the held both hands on top of his head, like pointed dog ears, and made a quiet whuffling sound. He grinned, and touched his chest again.

Mabel stared at him, eyes wide. "Fen?" she whispered.

The boy smiled and nodded.

/

"MABEL! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Mabel jerked awake at Grenda's excited shouting. She was still on the porch sofa, laying down, with the flannel blanket tucked firmly around her. She sat up and looked around for Fenris, and her stomach dropped.

Fenris wasn't there. But he _had_ been there. Hadn't he? She didn't remember falling back asleep. But she remembered the boy with the shaggy black hair, and piercing blue eyes—the boy who couldn't talk. Mabel was sure she couldn't have dreamed something like that.

But where was he? If he was real, why had he left?

Mabel swallowed back the lump in her throat, and attempted to sound cheerful.

"Yup, I'm alive and kicking!"

"Awesome!" cried Grenda. "Wendy and Dipper are on their way over. We wanted to eat dinner together."

"Who's keeping watch over the Gravnemeta, then?" asked Mabel. "Dipper had said a bunch of you had been taking shifts?"

"Your Grunkles have the night shift tonight," said Grenda. "Have you SEEN how many fancy guns Ford has? Cause it's a lot. Like, _a lot_ a lot!"

The side of Mabel's mouth twitched upward. "Grunkle Ford certainly likes his fancy guns."

"Hey, are y'all planning to come in and eat, or not?" called Dipper cheerfully, popping his head out the screen door.

"Huh," said Grenda thoughtfully, as she extended a hand to help Mabel to her feet. "I always forget that they can instantaneously blip pretty much anywhere. Seems like a useful skill to have."

Soos and Melody joined Mabel, Grenda, Dipper, and Wendy for dinner. They noshed on pizza and breadsticks, washing it down with Pitt Cola.

"Hey, Mabel, you're being real quiet," observed Soos, through a mouthful of pizza. "Still don't feel good?"

Mabel sat down the crust she was nibbling on. In truth, she'd been preoccupied with trying to figure out if she'd really met a human-shaped Fen, or just dreamed it.

"I guess I'm still pretty worn out," she said. "Hey Dip… when Sirona told you about my injuries, did she mention brain damage?"

Dipper arched an eyebrow at his sister, and washed down the bite of pizza he'd been chewing on with a sip of soda before replying.

"Do you… _feel_ brain damaged?"

Mabel rolled her eyes. "No. I just had a really weird dream earlier about…well, it wasn't a normal dream."

"Was it a _sexy_ dream?" asked Grenda. "With sexy boys?"

"Ew, Grenda," said Wendy, flicking a pepperoni at the younger girl. "Get your hormones in check, girl!"

Grenda calmly wiped the pepperoni off her cheek and ate it. "I was just curious," she mumbled, with a shrug.

"Guh, nevermind," said Mabel. She slid her chair back from the table. "I'm really tired. Sorry to be a party pooper, but I think I'm going to turn in early tonight."

"But, slumber party?" pouted Grenda.

"I don't really feel like company tonight… and I doubt I'd be much fun," said Mabel. "Rain check, Grenda?"

"But Mabel, Sirona said you needed someone to stay with you, for the salve and stuff," protested Dipper.

Nobody but Melody seemed to notice that Mabel was on the brink of tears.

"Dipper, it's okay," Melody spoke up. "I'm here. I'll help Mabel with her salve, and if she needs anything, I'm just downstairs, and she can text or call me."

"Yeah, dudes, Melody's got this," added Soos. "She's real good at playing nurse."

The room went silent, except for Soos' chewing. He was completely oblivious that his 'playing nurse' comment had caused everyone else to awkwardly stare at their plates or the ceiling.

Melody rolled her eyes and stood up. "Let's get you up to bed, then, sweetie."

/

Fenris stood at the edge of the woods, long after all the lights in the Mystery Shack were turned off for the night. He stared intently at the triangular attic window, beyond which Mabel lay in bed. She'd seemed very happy to see him, which thrilled him to no end. He had been worried she would be upset that he'd pretended to be her pet.

She'd had a lot of questions for him, but unfortunately he wasn't able to answer them yet. He had never before attempted to take human form. In fact, prior to his transformation, he hadn't been sure it was even possible, seeing as he was the _Great Wolf_. Most of the week that Mabel was in a coma, Fenris spent attempting to learn how to walk and run bipedally, and to use his hands and fingers—appendages he'd never had to deal with before. It only occurred to him, upon attempting to communicate with Mabel earlier that afternoon, that speaking with a human mouth and vocal cords was more complicated than barking or howling.

After Mabel finally understood that the boy in front of her was Fenris, she kept trying to engage him in conversation, but their conversation was limited to yes and no questions. Finally she'd given up, and they sat in amicable silence until her eyelids started to droop. Once he was sure she was asleep, Fenris had laid her back on the sofa and tucked the blanket around her, before making his way back into the woods. He wasn't ready to face anyone else yet. He felt vulnerable in his new form, and wanted to gain his bearings before unveiling Fenris 2.0 to his friends.

But he missed Mabel. He missed hearing her heartbeat as he drifted off to sleep. He missed her cheerful optimism in the face of adversity. In the short while since he'd appointed himself Mabel's guardian, she'd become an essential piece of him. He lived to make her happy. When he was with Mabel, he wasn't Fenrir, god of destruction, with an inescapable destiny, doomed to bring about the end of the world—he was just Fen.

Fenris sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair—a trick he'd picked up from seeing Dipper do it often. He squared his shoulders resolutely, and made his way to the back door of the Mystery Shack, where he located the hidden key, and let himself inside.

/

Mabel was tired, but she couldn't sleep. She kept replaying her encounter with Fenris in her head. It felt too real to be a dream—she'd never had a dream that lifelike. The curve of his lips when he smiled, the clear, deep intensity of his eyes—she didn't think she was capable of making up such seemingly unimportant, yet vivid, details.

What she found truly strange, however, was that human Fenris _didn't_ feel strange. He had been a puppy, and now he was human—and Mabel found herself just accepting the fact.

Mabel sighed, and rolled onto her side, her arms instinctively reaching out to hold her puppy. She sniffled, and wiped at the single tear that rolled down her cheek.

A creak of the stairs, and a footfall on the landing in front of her attic bedroom startled Mabel. She leaned up on her elbow.

"Melody?" she called softly, as the door creaked open.

"No," came the gruff, but soft, reply.

"Fenris?" breathed Mabel. She sat fully up in bed, and grabbed her cell phone from the bedside table, turning it on so that the lit screen dimly illuminated the room.

Fenris walked hesitantly forward, his eyes shining. Mabel reached out, and took one of his hands in hers.

"Where'd you go earlier? I'd almost convinced myself that you were a dream!"

Fenris opened his mouth, and blew out a breath, then shook his head.

"Oh, sorry," said Mabel sheepishly. "I forgot—yes or no only." She patted the edge of the bed, and he sat down.

"So, you are real, right?" Mabel asked, poking him in the arm.

Fenris chuckled, and nodded. He placed a palm against her cheek, and leaned in until he could touch his forehead to hers.

"I…miss," he said.

Mabel felt momentarily lightheaded. She pulled back and met his eyes.

"I've missed you too, Fen," she said softly. "So… you're learning to speak like a human?"

Fenris nodded and smiled, holding a hand up to his mouth. "Feels weird."

"I'll bet," said Mabel with a nod. "It's quite a bit different than what you had been working with."

Before Fenris could respond, Mabel let loose a long, jaw-cracking yawn.

"Tired," he said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I really am. I'm just not used to falling asleep without my pup—without you." Mabel was glad the room was dark, because she was blushing furiously.

Fenris looked down at his feet. "Sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" asked Mabel.

"No more small fuzzy," he replied softly.

Mabel leaned in and hugged Fenris tightly. "That's silly, Fen. You're here now. I don't care that you're not a puppy anymore."

Fenris practically melted in Mabel's arms. He'd never experienced a hug as a human before. It was quite different than being held as a puppy. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed gently.

"Hug sleep?" came his whispered suggestion.

Mabel wiped her suddenly runny eyes, and nodded. They lay down, facing each other, and she curled up against Fenris, her head nestled against his chest, under his chin. He slung and arm over her, his hand resting on the back of her neck.

As Mabel drifted off to sleep, she felt the rumble of his chest, as he spoke softly into her hair.

"Night, Mabel. I love."

/

/

/

/

 **Halloooooo! So happy you've read this far! I hope you're enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it! I'd love it if you'd drop me a review and let me know what you think! As always, I super-duper appreciate any follows and/or favorites you'd like to throw my way as well! Knowing people read my stuff gives me the warm-fuzzies, and makes me want to keep writing.**

 **Hearts and Flowers!**

 **Durdle**


	22. Worlds Collide, Chapter Four

Worlds Collide

Chapter Four

Wendy Corduroy stretched and yawned, before pulling her boots on over her leggings. Morning shift at the Gravnemeta started in two hours, but she and Dipper had decided the night before that they wanted to surprise Mabel with breakfast before their shift.

Last night at the Mystery Shack, when Melody had come back downstairs after applying Mabel's burn salve, she'd smacked Dipper lightly on the back of the head.

"Your sister is upset about something, ya doofus," she'd said. "Couldn't you tell? Couldn't any of you tell?"

Dipper asked if he should go talk to her, but Melody said Mabel really _was_ tired, so it should wait until tomorrow.

Hence, surprising Mabel with breakfast.

Wendy pulled her favorite green flannel on over her tank top, and jammed her blue and white pine tree ballcap onto her head, before making her way to the living room.

Dipper was still asleep, splayed out on the sofa with his mouth hanging open.

Wendy grinned, and sat down hard, directly on his chest.

"OOOOOF" groaned Dipper, as all the air rushed from his lungs.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!" said Wendy cheerfully. She leaned over and kissed Dipper lightly on the lips, before gracefully rising from her seat on his chest.

Dipper gasped in a lungful of air, before responding, with a cocky grin. "Next time how about you sit on my face, instead, hot stuff?"

"You probably shouldn't say things like that in our house," Beithe called from the kitchen. "Humans aren't able to kill gods, but if Danny hears you say something like that, I don't doubt he'll find a way."

Wendy chuckled at the mortified look on Dipper's face. She reached down and pulled him to his hooves, and then leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Next time, I just might," she purred, nipping lightly at his earlobe.

Before Dipper had a chance to respond, Wendy grabbed his hand and led him toward the kitchen. He quickly readjusted his loin cloth, and tried to think of anything but Wendy, sitting on his face, her back arched, head thrown back in pleasure...

"Uh," he mumbled, pulling his hand from Wendy's grasp. "I, um. You get the breakfast stuff, and I'll wait in the living room."

Wendy's opened her mouth to ask why, then saw Dipper's quick glance downward, and giggled.

"Dork," she said softly, before bopping him on the nose with a finger, and turning on her heel into the kitchen.

/

"Wow, this was really nice of you dudes," said Soos, looking at the breakfast spread that Dipper and Wendy had laid out on the kitchen table in the Mystery Shack. "I'm sure Mabel will love it."

Melody nodded. "You really didn't have to bring your own eggs and bacon and stuff," she said. "You could have used what we have here."

"Nah," said Dipper. "We made this for you, too. As a thank you for letting Mabel stay here with you, and looking after her. It would be weird to come over and cook you your own food."

Soos cocked his head to the side. "You _do_ have a point."

"So," said Wendy, clapping her hands. "How're we gonna do this, dude? You think we should have her come down, or take her up a tray?"

"Eh, she's still on the mend," said Dipper, shrugging. "She'd probably like having breakfast in bed."

"Okay, you fix her a plate, while I go ahead and wake her up, so I can help her with her salve," said Wendy.

She turned and started for the stairs before Dipper had time to respond.

Wendy tip-toed up the steps, hoping to wake Mabel in the same way she had awoken Dipper—albeit with no chest-sitting.

She placed a hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath, and threw the door open.

"WAKEY WAKEY, EGGS AND—what the fuck?"

/

Mabel sat bolt-upright in bed, and then grunted, as the scar tissue on her back tightened painfully with the quick movement.

Ready to fight, her dark-haired, male companion jumped to his feet on the mattress, forgetting that he was laying under the low part of the slanted attic ceiling. The top of his head hit the wooden beams with a dull crack.

"Ooh, ow," hissed Wendy, through gritted teeth. "Sorry, Mabes, I didn't know you had…company…?"

The company sank down onto his knees, and gingerly touched the top of his head.

"Wendy, I can explain," began Mabel, reaching out to grasp the boy's hand.

"Explain what?" asked Dipper cheerfully, as he bustled into the room past Wendy. Then he looked up.

"Woop!" cried Wendy, as she jumped to grab the tray of food from Dipper as he dropped it.

He stared at Mabel, and the dark-haired stranger who was in her bed.

"Mabel," he said, his voice too calm, "there is a boy in your bed. With you. In your bed. A boy."

"Dipper, he's not some random stranger, if that's what you're thinking," said Mabel. "And we were only _sleeping_." She looked pointedly at Wendy, who nodded in agreement.

"Who is he?" asked Dipper, unconsciously clenching the hilt of a wickedly sharp dagger that had suddenly appeared in his fist. Then he turned and looked the boy in the eye. He looked familiar, but he couldn't place it. "Who are you? And why are you in my sister's bed?"

Mabel looked at the boy questioningly. "Do you think you're able to explain? If not, I can…"

The boy shook his head. "I think I can," he said softly. "More I talk, easier it comes out."

Wendy and Dipper looked at each other, the same curious expression on both their faces.

The boy scooted past Mabel, and stood up off the bed. He walked toward Dipper, and stopped in front of him. They were the same height.

"We traveled together," said the boy. He nervously stepped from foot-to-foot, eyeing Dipper's dagger. "I look different now."

Dipper stared at the boy in confusion. "When did we travel together?"

"Recently," said the boy. "In the Green. You made me and troll-kin girl wear bubble-wrap armor. Then turned a big troll into a pretty princess."

Wendy snorted. "You never told me that," she said under her breath.

"Fen-Fenris?" asked Dipper, dumbfounded. Fenris nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching upward in a small smile.

Dipper looked to Mabel, who nodded in confirmation. "I told you he wasn't some rando, Dip-Dop."

"How—you never told me you could take human form!"

"I didn't know," said Fenris, shrugging. "But Mabel got hurt in battle because of me. I wanted a better form to protect her. But as Fenrir, I still couldn't talk to her. So I went off on my own to try human shape."

"What—Fen, I didn't get hurt because of you!" cried Mabel, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, and slowly standing up. "Why would you ever think that?"

Fenris turned to her, a pained look on his face.

"I distracted you by yelping," he said, looking at the floor. "I was trying to warn you, but you couldn't understand me. Then you almost got killed."

"Okay, that is freaking adorable," said Wendy. "I mean, not you almost getting killed, Mabes. But him becoming human because he wants to protect you and communicate with you. Ugh. Be still, my heart."

Mabel's face turned an unhealthy shade of crimson. "It's not like that, Wendy. It's—he's _Fenris_. He was my puppy. Don't be creepy."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Did I not _just_ walk in on you two cuddling in bed together?"

"We are used to sleeping together," said Fenris, still looking at the floor. "To cuddle helped us both."

Dipper's left eye twitched slightly. "Look, your breakfast is getting cold, Mabel," he said. "How about you stay up here and eat, and Wendy helps you with your salve. Fenris and I need to go downstairs and have a _talk_."

"Dipper…" said Mabel, unsure of her brother's motives.

"Be nice to the smol pupper," said Wendy, winking at Fenris. "He's still got his human training wheels on."

Fenris glanced back at Mabel, who nodded slightly. Dipper grabbed his arm and led him from the room.

"Eat first, then we'll do your salve," said Wendy, as soon as the boys were gone. "Cold eggs are the _worst_." She handed Mabel the tray, and the younger girl sat back down on her bed, and began to eat. She wouldn't look Wendy in the eye.

Wendy flopped back onto Dipper's old bed, and sat cross-legged, elbows on her knees, and chin in her hands, watching Mabel eat.

"So, you have a thing for dogs, huh?" said Wendy finally, grinning.

Mabel nearly choked.

"What—no! Wendy!" cried Mabel, as soon as she had managed to swallow her bite of toast. "Don't say things like that!"

Wendy smirked. "You just looked _awfully_ comfortable with him, is all."

"I was," admitted Mabel. "I mean, he's _Fenris_. He was one of the few things that had made me happy since you and Dipper handfasted. And even though he's in human form, he still _feels_ the same. Not physically, though. Gosh, this is hard to describe…"

Wendy's smirk disappeared and her features softened, as she remembered the time between the twins' summer visit and Christmas break, when she had missed Dipper terribly.

"Does it feel like he's supposed to be with you?" she asked. "Like now that you've had him in your life, you don't feel whole without him near?"

Mabel sat her tray of half-eaten breakfast aside, and fidgeted with the edge of her blanket. "I don't know. I—look, can we just rub this goo on my back and go downstairs?"

Wendy smiled to herself as she grabbed the jar of salve from Mabel's nightstand.

"Sure thing, Mabes."

/

Dipper led Fenris down the stairs, and quickly past the kitchen. He didn't want to have to explain the Fenris situation to Melody and Soos just yet, especially since he still wasn't sure what the situation _was_. They quietly exited the Mystery Shack, and sat down on the old sofa on the porch.

"So…" said Dipper, after a minute of awkward silence. "Um. What are your intentions toward my sister?"

Fenris, who had been staring out at the tree line, turned to look at Dipper, his head cocked to the side.

"My intentions?"

Dipper sighed. "Like…you're _sure_ you only took human form to protect Mabel, right? You're not planning on seducing her or something?"

Fenris blinked at him. "What."

"Sex."

"Sex?" Fenris still looked like a confused puppy.

"With Mabel."

"What about sex with Mabel?"

"Gods you're dense!" cried Dipper, throwing his hands in the air. "Are you planning on _having_ it?"

"Why would I do that?"

Dipper facepalmed. He wasn't sure if Fenris was being intentionally obtuse, or if the Norse god was trying to mess with him.

"Look, just—besides Wendy, Mabel is the most important person in the world to me," said Dipper. "She's also only thirteen. If you try _anything_ with her, I will personally hand you a one-way ticket to visit Hel."

Fenris looked crestfallen. "So you don't want me to protect Mabel anymore, or try to keep her happy?"

"No, you can totally still do that," sighed Dipper. "When I said _anything_ , I meant sexy times. Jeez, Fenris, were you always this dumb?"

Fenris looked down at his hands. "You're my best friend, Dipper. And Mabel is very important to me. I would never do anything to harm her."

Dipper ran a hand through his hair. "Well, now I feel like an ass. Look Fenris, I'm sorry. The whole human thing threw me—but you're still you, right? I trust you. Just don't give me reason for that to change."

Fenris nodded. "I won't."

/

Dipper and Wendy blipped off to their shift guarding the Gravnemeta, leaving Fenris and Mabel sitting alone on the porch.

"Ugh, I hate just sitting here, letting other people do my job," complained Mabel, throwing her head back. "I mean, I slept for a whole week—I should be ready to go!"

"A coma is a bit different than sleep, I think," said Fenris quietly. She looked up to see him smiling at her.

"I guess I can use this time to get to know you better, now that you can actually talk to me," said Mabel.

"What do you want to know?" asked Fenris.

Mabel stared at him for a moment, then reached out to stroke his hair. He had a serious case of bedhead. Fenris closed his eyes blissfully, and leaned into her hand.

"Well, now I know that even in human form, you still like scritches," she said with a grin.

Fenris pulled away, his pale cheeks tinged with pink.

"Yes, that seems to be the case," he said. "I am the same as I always was, just in a new, human-shaped body."

Mabel stood up from the sofa, and turned to face Fenris, leaning up against the porch railing. She folded her arms over her chest.

"So, why me?" she asked.

Fenris' brow furrowed. "Why you? What do you mean?"

"You're a _god_ , Fen," said Mabel. "I'm nobody. Why did you decide to stick around with me? Was it just because Dipper was spending so much time with Wendy?"

"You are not nobody," said Fenris sincerely, standing up to look Mabel in the eye. "Dipper spoke highly of you when we traveled together. And when I met you, I knew he hadn't been exaggerating. You are the most beautiful person I've ever met. You have a kind heart, and you care deeply about your friends and family. After the handfasting, I saw how lonely and sad you were. It hurt to see. I decided it was my mission to make you happy. And to keep you safe." Fenris looked at his feet. "That part I failed at, and I am sorry."

Mabel sniffled, and Fenris looked up, his eyes wide.

"You're crying! Did I say something wrong? Or-or does your injury hurt?"

Mabel wiped her eyes and smiled. "I'm happy crying, Fen. It's a thing humans do sometimes."

"You never cried when I made you happy before," said Fenris. He reached out tentatively, then pulled his hand back.

Mabel laughed wetly. She closed the gap between them, and threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. She spoke so softly that Fenris almost didn't hear her.

"Good boy."

/

Guard duty at the Gravnemeta was uneventful that day. Dipper and Wendy trained with Beithe for most of it. Wendy focused on learning to use her dryad magic, while Dipper attempted to master glamours. He told Beithe it was so he could confuse the enemy, but she knew he was really trying to learn how to look human again.

When the sun started to set, Stan, Ford, and Soos emerged from the forest, to take the night shift.

"So, Dipper, thanks for the warning," said Ford casually, as he sat his weapons pack down with a clunk.

"What warning?" asked Dipper, feigning confusion.

"The warning you _didn't_ give us that Fenris is _people_ now," grumbled Stan, as he fitted a bolt into the large crossbow he carried.

"Not cool, dude," added Soos. "I heard Mabel talking out on the porch, and I thought she might have, you know—she _did_ ask about brain damage last night."

"Oh yeah, my bad," chuckled Dipper. "Did she tell you they slept together last night?"

"What?!" cried Ford.

At the same time, Stan accidentally shot his crossbow bolt into the ground next to his feet.

"Dipper, you're going to give your Grunkles a stroke," said Beithe, with a hint of laughter in her voice. She had already heard the whole story. "When he says sleeping, he literally means sleeping."

Stan pulled his crossbow bolt out of the ground, muttering under his voice about "goats who think they're funny."

Soos looked conflicted. "Should—should I tell him to sleep outside or something?"

Wendy shook her head. "Really, Soos, he slept with her all the time as a puppy. It's the same thing… now he's just bigger…and less furry…and kinda cute…"

Stan frowned. "This makes me highly uncomfortable."

Ford nodded. "When we get back to the shack tomorrow, we'll talk to him, Stan. Make sure he knows human boundaries."

Soos chuckled. "Dudes, you guys are going to give the 'birds and the bees' talk to the Norse god of destruction. That is epic."

Dipper almost told them that he'd already discussed boundaries with Fenris, but he stopped himself. He'd let them have that awkward conversation. He was a god of mischief, after all.

/

Mabel sat on the edge of her bed, twirling a strand of her hair around a finger. It had been a strange day. Fenris was currently in the shower, for the first time ever. When Melody had tactfully suggested that Fenris could use a bath, he'd visibly flinched. Mabel had shown him how to use the taps, and explained soap and shampoo to him, before leaving him to wash himself.

While he showered, Mabel had changed into the shorts and thin camisole she normally slept in. She looked down at her bare legs, and made a mental note that she should probably shave in the morning. She'd never before been self-conscious about how she looked when she slept, but now that Fenris was boy shaped, it seemed to matter.

The doorknob rattled, and from the other side of the door, Fenris called out softly. "Is it okay for me to come in?"

"Yeah," replied Mabel.

The door swung open, and there stood Fenris, still completely clothed, his drenched jeans and t-shirt leaving a trail of water in his wake as he walked into the room.

"Oh God, Fen," said Mabel, trying not to giggle. "I didn't even think to tell you that humans take off our clothes when we shower."

Fenris looked down at the puddle rapidly forming at his feet and blushed. "Oh."

Mabel grinned. "I think there's some old clothes of Dipper's in his dresser still. They may be a little small on you, but they should be okay to sleep in. You go ahead and change while I grab you a towel."

Fenris nodded mutely, and went to look in Dipper's dresser.

When Mabel returned with the towel, Fenris was pulling on one of Dipper's old t-shirts. He already wore a pair of gray sweatpants that were a bit snug, and stopped halfway down his shins. The shirt was about three sizes too small, exposing most of Fenris' lower torso.

"Dipper was tiny," he remarked, as he pulled at the collar of the t-shirt, which appeared to be choking him.

Mabel chuckled. "Yeah, okay, you don't have to wear the shirt."

Fenris sighed with relief, and pulled the shirt back over his head. "Clothing is too complicated." He tossed the shirt aside, and shook his head, sending drops of water flying in an arc around him.

"Here, for your hair," said Mabel, tossing him the towel, before sitting down cross-legged on her bed. "And about the clothes—the ones you've been wearing are really worn out and dirty. I'm guessing you didn't transform with them on. Where'd you get them?"

Fenris rubbed his hair vigorously with the towel before replying. "There's a pack of werewolves that live about fifteen miles outside the Gravnemeta. I approached them when I was still in my giant wolf form, and since they're not pure human, I was able to explain who I was and what I needed. They were really helpful." He sat down next to Mabel on the bed, the towel hanging loosely in his hand. "I think they were actually kind of afraid of me."

Mabel leaned into him, resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Aww, well they didn't really know you."

Fenris pulled away, and turned to face her. He bit his lip, and took a deep breath. "Mabel, do you know who Fenrir is—who _I_ am? What I represent?"

Mabel rested a hand on his knee. "I do. You're the Norse god of destruction, prophesied to bring about the end of the world," she said. "But you're not that to _me_. To me, you're Fen. I've watched you chase your tail, and bark at squirrels. You're my brother's best friend. You're my…" she trailed off. He wasn't really her puppy anymore. "You're also _my_ best friend," she said, the realization hitting her as the words left her mouth.

Fenris' lower lip quivered. "I—Mabel… you and your brother have been so kind to me. I'd never had a friend before I met Dipper. And now I have two."

Mabel grinned, and poked Fenris in the ribs. "Yup. And like it or not, you're stuck with us."

Fenris smiled bashfully. "I think I'm okay with that."

"You better be," said Mabel through a yawn. She reached her arms up to stretch, then hissed in pain. Her back was feeling much better, but certain movements still aggravated the scar tissue.

"Oh, your salve," said Fenris. "I'll go get Melody." He began to stand up, but Mabel put out a hand to stop him.

"There's no point in bothering her when you're already up here with me," she said. She reached over to her nightstand and grabbed the jar, placing it firmly in his hand.

"Oh…okay," said Fenris slowly, as Mabel turned away from him, and pulled the back of her camisole up, exposing her bare flesh. The scar tissue was still more pink than the rest of her skin, but it was no longer shiny.

Fenris opened the jar and scooped out some salve, rubbing it between his palms to warm it up. He hesitantly reached forward and gently ran his hands over her scars, using a light pressure to work the medicine into her skin.

Mabel took a deep breath, and blew it out slowly. Her whole body tingled.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have magic hands?" she murmured, her eyes closed. "If the whole end of the world thing doesn't work out for you, you should think about becoming a masseuse."

Fenris chuckled. "Well, I have no idea what a masseuse is, and I have never had hands before, so…no."

"Fair point," mumbled Mabel.

"All done," said Fenris, pulling the back of Mabel's camisole down. He stood up to place the jar of salve back on her nightstand, then wiped his hands on the towel he'd used to dry his hair.

Mabel yawned. "That was nice, Fen. Very relaxing. Sleepy time now." She lay back against her pillows, and patted the mattress next to her.

Fenris climbed into bed, pulling the covers up over the both of them. He reached out, and pulled Mabel to him, a little more forcefully than he meant to.

Mabel didn't mind, however. She snuggled against him, enjoying the warmth of his arms around her.

"You know," breathed Mabel softly, "seeing as I just met you in your human form _yesterday_ , it seems like this whole cuddling in bed thing should feel awkward or something. But it doesn't."

"Cuddling with you could never be awkward," replied Fenris sleepily. "You're my Mabel."

/

For the second time in two days, Dipper was rudely awakened. This time, at three in the morning, with an airhorn.

He shot up off the couch, holding at the ready the katana that had materialized in his hands.

"Woah, easy there, kid. You could put someone's eye out!"

The rest of the Corduroy family, also rudely awakened by the blast of the airhorn, scrambled into the room, all carrying axes, hatchets, or in Wendy's case, a crossbow. Someone flicked the light switch.

Suddenly, everyone's lethal weapons were transformed into inflatable toy versions of what they had previously been wielding.

"Jeez, you guys don't hold back, do you?" said the older satyr standing in the middle of the living room.

"Puck, what the hell?" groaned Dipper.

Manly Dan threw his inflatable double-headed axe at the elder god of mischief. It bounced off him with a squeak.

"Was it really necessary to wake us all up in the middle of the night?" asked Beithe, frowning.

"Of course it was!" cried Puck. "The reveal wouldn't be nearly as dramatic if you were all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed."

"What reveal?" asked Wendy, yawning. She flopped down on the sofa, with her arm over her eyes.

Puck was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, his hands clasped in excitement.

"I've brought you a visitor—someone who has graciously volunteered to help me track down Arden."

"Is the visitor invisible?" asked Dipper wryly.

"Oh, no, he's just outside the front door," said Puck. His grin was getting more maniacal by the second.

"Just open the damn door and show us who it is so I can go back to bed," grunted a grumpy Manly Dan.

"As you wish," said Puck. He trotted to the door, and with a dramatic flourish of his hand, pulled it open. A dark figure stepped forward.

The room was completely silent, as everyone stared in shock at the visitor.

"Hello," said the Green Man.

/

/

/

/

 **Thanks for reading this far! I really hope you liked this chapter. Sorry there hasn't been much action in the story lately. Hopefully that will change soon!**

 **Thank you all who have followed, favorited, or left reviews. You're awesome! I appreciate it so much. Reading your reviews really motivates me to keep writing.**

 **Hearts and flowers,**

 **Durdle**


	23. Worlds Collide, Chapter Five

**Worlds Collide**

 **Chapter Five**

With a deafening roar, Manly Dan flew across the room and tackled the Green Man, his momentum carrying them out the still-open front door. They landed on the sidewalk, Dan on top, the Green Man pinned under him. Dan pummeled the god relentlessly, beating his face to an almost unrecognizable, bloody pulp.

Beithe was screaming at Dan to stop, but in his rage, he didn't hear her.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU KIDNAPPED BEITHE! LEFT ME TO RAISE FOUR SMALL CHILDREN BY MYSELF, WITHOUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THERE TO HELP ME! THEN YOU CAME BACK AND STOLE AWAY MY DAUGHTER, AND TRIED TO MARRY HER OFF! I'LL FUCKING GUT YOU!"

"Danny, stop!" Beithe cried. "He's not even fighting back!"

Dan let out a feral scream, as a white straightjacket materialized around him, rendering him motionless. A gag appeared in his mouth, as well. He kept screaming, but it came out muffled and unintelligible.

"Thank you, Puck," said Beithe. She rushed over to her father, who lay unconscious on the sidewalk.

"Hey, that wasn't me," said Puck, holding up his hands. "I was enjoying the show."

"I did it," said Dipper nervously glancing down at his father-in-law, who was staring daggers at him. "I have no love for the guy, but he wasn't fighting back, and… is it just me, or…he's not green anymore, is he? I remember him being green… and his hair—leaves—whatever… they're brown and crispy." He glanced up at Puck. "Care to explain?"

Puck took a deep breath, ready to spin them a yarn, but Beithe cut him off.

"Wendy, Marcus, can you help me carry …your, uh, grandfather…inside?"

Wendy stood in the doorway, tight-lipped, with her arms crossed over her chest. "I'm not touching him," she spat. "I'm surprised you're concerned about him, seeing as he kept you imprisoned in tree form for six years."

Beithe sighed, and motioned for Marcus to lift the Green Man's legs as she picked him up under his armpits.

"That was awful of him," said Beithe, as she and Marcus slowly walked the Green Man over the threshold, past Wendy, and laid him on the sofa. "I don't deny that. But he wasn't always that way… and Dipper's got a point—there's something not right with him." She glanced at Puck. "Now you can explain."

Puck looked out the door at Manly Dan, still sitting on the sidewalk in his straightjacket. "If I take that off you, do you promise to hear me out before attacking my brother again?"

Dan nodded.

Puck snapped his fingers, and the straightjacket and gag disappeared. Dan lurched to his feet, and marched inside, slamming the door behind him. His breathing was heavy, and his fists were so tight that his knuckles were white, but he kept his mouth shut, and stayed back from the sofa, where the Green Man lay, unconscious and helpless.

Puck grinned, and clapped his hands together. "Ah, good, good. Now that we're all here, and not attempting to kill each other, I can explain why I brought my brother here. As you know, I stepped in to save—what was it you called him, Dipper? Harold?" Dipper nodded, and Puck continued.

"I stepped in to save Harold just before our Dipper here, and Cernunnos, were all set to waste him. Honestly, he's a prick, and I would have been okay with you killing him—but I didn't want to get on Mom and Dad's bad side by standing by and doing nothing. He _is_ my brother, after all, and they have this thing about familial love being all-important. Bleck.

"Anyway, I banished him to our parents' realm, tattled on him, and waited to see what kind of punishment they'd dole out. As I said, familial love is a big deal to them, and he'd kept his own daughter trapped in her tree form for years. That's not something a loving father does."

"Too fucking right," muttered Manly Dan under his breath.

Puck grinned and continued. "So Harold's punishment is that they stripped him of all his powers, including immortality, and the only way he can get his powers back is to learn the true meaning of familial love. He offered to help me track down Arden, thinking that helping his brother would be enough of a show of familial love that our parents would grant him his powers back—but no. It was their idea to bring him here, to learn to love and be worthy of love in return."

"He's not immortal anymore," said Beithe slowly. "So you were just going to stand back and watch Dan beat him to death?"

"Oh, no, I would have stepped in before it got that far," said Puck with a shrug. "However, I would have been okay with him sustaining a bit of brain damage."

"I'm okay with giving him some brain damage," rumbled Manly Dan, as he took a step toward the couch.

"Daniel, don't you dare," said Beithe. "He's apparently our guest now, and beating someone until they're brain damaged isn't at all hospitable."

"I'm not having him under our roof, Beithe. Not after everything he's done."

"I'm with Dad," said Wendy. "He kidnapped me and tried to marry me off. I'd rather not have him sleeping on our sofa. Plus, where would Dipper sleep?"

"I mean, I don't mind sleeping in your room, Wendy," said Dipper, with a nervous glance toward Manly Dan. "On-on the floor. In a sleeping bag."

Dan frowned, and opened his mouth to reply, but his eldest son cut him off.

"Do we get a vote?" asked Marcus. He stood in front of his younger brothers, with his arms crossed, and a scowl on his face. "Nobody ever cares what we think. I mean, we're not gods or whatever, but we live here too."

"What would your vote be, then?" asked Beithe warily.

"He took you from us, mom," said Marcus, his voice breaking. "He kept you from us for _six years_. Kevin barely remembers you, and Gus never got to know you at all. Then he took Wendy. It destroyed Dad. The Green Man ripped our family apart. We don't want him here."

Beithe's features softened, and she swept all three of her sons up in a hug. "I'm sorry it seems like we never take your opinions into account. You're right, what my father did was terrible. I missed you all so much, and we have so much lost time to make up. If you don't want him to stay with us, he won't." She turned to face Puck. "I'm sorry, Puck, but you'll have to find someplace else for him to stay."

But Puck had vanished.

Dipper facepalmed. "I hate it when he does that."

/

Fenris woke up to the feeling of absence. His arms were empty. Mabel was gone. He sat up in a panic, his eyes sweeping the room. Not seeing her, he leapt out of bed, and ran for the door. Just as he reached out for the handle, the door flew open, knocking him backward, onto his rear end.

"Oh my gosh, Fenris, I'm so sorry!" cried Mabel, as she knelt down to give him a hand up. "I thought you'd still be asleep!"

Fenris grasped her hand and climbed to his feet. He took in her pink, freshly scrubbed cheeks, and the towel wrapped around her hair. She carried her pajamas in a bundle under her arm, and was dressed in black leggings and a purple sweater.

Fenris let go of her hand and let out a deep breath. "You were in the shower," he mumbled. It was more a statement than a question.

Mabel nodded. "Where did you think I was?"

"I don't know," answered Fenris. "I just woke up and you were gone. I was scared."

"Aw, I'm sorry I scared you, Fen," said Mabel. She tossed her pajamas unceremoniously onto her bed, and reached out to pull him in for a hug. He was still shirtless, and his skin was emanating heat. Even though he appeared outwardly calm now, she could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

"I don't want to lose you," he whispered softly.

Mabel pulled away and smiled up at him. "Don't worry, Fen. I'm not going anywhere." She glanced down at the too-small sweatpants he was wearing. "Now, how about we go see if Soos has some clothes you can wear? They'll definitely be too big, but that's what belts are for."

Fenris nodded. "I miss having fur," he said, finally calm enough to grin. "It was so much simpler."

/

No one in the Corduroy household slept the remainder of the night, except, of course, Harold, seeing as he was unconscious. The rest of the family and Dipper sat around the kitchen drinking cups of coffee or hot cocoa, discussing what to do about their unwanted houseguest.

"We should just kick him out to fend for himself in the woods," Marcus suggested. "I mean, he's a god of nature, right? Wouldn't camping be kind of his 'thing'?"

Manly Dan nodded in agreement. "That is a valid point, son,"

Beithe sighed and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. "We've been over this, guys. He's mortal now. He has no powers to protect himself with. He doesn't know anything about camping or surviving in the wild, because as a god, he didn't have to."

"Lame," muttered Wendy. "Can't we just send him over to Tad Strange's house, and let him be Puck's problem again?"

"That probably wouldn't work," said Dipper. "Puck clearly wants _us_ to have to deal with Harold, and he's told me before that when he doesn't want to be bothered, he can cause people to forget the location of his house."

"Convenient," grunted Dan.

"Do you think Soos and Melody would let him stay at the Mystery Shack?" asked Marcus.

Beithe shook her head. "I don't want to impose on them. They already have two houseguests right now, plus Ford and Stan are spending a lot of time there when they're not on guard duty."

Dipper took a sip of his coffee, which had long since gone completely cold, and sat down the mug with a decisive thump. "How about I camp with him, in the clearing where I'm trying to build mine and Wendy's cabin? I've been human, so I know what I'm doing. Mostly. And while he's out there, he can maybe help me with some of the construction, to earn his keep, like."

Manly Dan grinned for the first time since the family's rude awakening hours earlier. "Now _that_ plan isn't half bad. It gets rid of the Green Man, and I don't have to constantly worry about these two making me a grandfather." He nodded toward Dipper and Wendy, who were leaning against the counter, holding hands, with their fingers intertwined.

"I am not so much a fan of this idea," muttered Wendy.

"I mean, it's not ideal. The guy's a creep. But if he's stuck here as a mortal, this will at least keep him out of your house. Plus, I'll get to practice my mischief on someone I actually don't like, for a change." Dipper said, grinning and waggling his eyebrows. "Come on, Wen, it's not like you'll never see me." He elbowed her gently. "I'll just be sleeping a _bit_ further away than your living room sofa."

"It does seem like the best option anyone's proposed so far," said Beithe.

"Alright then," said Dipper, with a nod. "Beithe and Wendy, do you two think you'll be okay without me at the Gravnemeta for a while this morning? I want to blip 'Grandpa' Harold over to the clearing and get a campsite set up."

"Yeah, just come by whenever you've got him all settled," said Beithe.

"Can do," said Dipper. He gave Wendy a swift kiss on the lips. "I'll see you soon."

He trotted into the living room, grabbed the unconscious Green Man by the wrist, and with a soft pop, they both disappeared.

/

Mabel stood in a patch of sunlight, her eyes closed, and her head tilted up to soak the warmth into her flushed cheeks. Fenris sat on a nearby boulder, in extremely baggy jeans and an oversized hoodie, his eyes fixed on her relaxed smile. The corners of his mouth twitched upward. He loved seeing her happy.

"It's such a nice day," Mabel sighed. "It almost feels like spring. I could just take a nap right here, in the middle of the woods."

"Are you tired?" asked Fenris. "I could blip us the rest of the way over to Tad Strange's house…"

Mabel lowered her head, and put her hands on her hips, meeting Fenris's eyes. "Fen, you know better than anyone that I'm not some delicate little flower. I'm okay to walk, really."

"But your injury—"

"Is almost completely healed," Mabel interrupted. "That's why we're going to see Sirona. I want her to give me the okay to go back to guarding the Gravnemeta, so that when I show up in my armor, Dipper doesn't freak out and tell me I'm not healed enough yet."

Fenris nodded and stood up. "Your brother _has_ been much more protective of you since you were injured."

They began walking again, Mabel setting the pace, with Fenris slightly behind her.

"Yeah, no kidding," said Mabel. She giggled. "I'm sure seeing you in my bed also has something to do with his recent brotherly protectiveness."

"He asked me if I was planning on having sex with you," said Fenris, as casually as if he was mentioning the weather.

Mabel stopped abruptly, and Fenris walked into her, nearly sending her crashing to the ground. He grabbed her waist, to keep her from tumbling forward. She stumbled, but didn't fall.

Still facing away from Fenris, she said "He asked you _what_?"

Fenris let go of her waist. "I told him I may try to hump your leg, but that's about it."

Mabel spun around. Her eyes were wide, her mouth hanging slightly open. Fenris kept a straight face for a second or two before bursting into laughter.

Mabel cracked a smile. "You made a joke! I didn't know you made jokes!"

Fenris grinned. "You should hear my witty banter."

"You banter, too?! Go ahead, wow me with your wit," said Mabel. She linked her arm through his, and began walking again.

"Well now that you've put me on the spot, all I can think is 'uh, durr,'" he said, lazily scratching the back of his head with his free hand.

"Okay, I guess the banter will have to come naturally," sighed Mabel. "But seriously, I'm loving this whole 'sense of humor' thing. Not that I didn't like your human personality up 'til now, cause you're awesome. But you've been so worried and serious. I think that was actually the first time I've heard you laugh."

"Well, becoming human was weird," said Fenris with a shrug. "Everything was off kilter until I saw you again, and knew you were safe. I _was_ really worried about you. I still am, honestly. But the more I'm around you, the more I feel like myself again. Being able to talk to you really helps."

"Oh man, I am _so_ good at talking," said Mabel. "You'll probably get sick of how much I'm gonna talk to you. I love that you can answer me now. You used to just lick me."

"Aw, am I not allowed to do that anymore?" Fenris pouted sarcastically. "Lame."

"Well, you'll at least need to buy me dinner first, mister," said Mabel, wagging a finger at him.

Fenris blushed. "I—wh—" he stammered.

Mabel laughed. "That was _me_ joking, Fen."

"Ah," said Fenris. He arched a single eyebrow. "Does it have to be?"

Mabel grinned and bit her lower lip, as she shook her head wordlessly. Human Fenris was full of surprises.

/

"Harold." Smack. "Hey asshole, wake up."

Dipper was bent over the prone form of the mortal Green Man, prodding him in the ribs, and slapping him, trying to rouse the injured former god.

"For the love of—" muttered Dipper. Remembering Puck's three a.m. wakeup call, he conjured an airhorn. He held it out and prepared to press the button, when a familiar voice interrupted him.

"Dipper, what exactly are you doing to that elderly man?"

Dipper spun around. "Grunkle Stan? What are you doing out here?"

Stanley walked into the clearing and stood in front of Dipper.

"Beithe and Wendy told me you'd be here. They said Wendy's grandpa was here—the jerk that kidnapped her. I wanted to look upon the face of evil… and then punch it. Is that him?" Stan asked, craning his neck to see around his great nephew.

Dipper nodded.

"Is he asleep?" asked Stan.

"Unconscious. Manly Dan got to the face of evil before you."

"Did you think you were going to somehow wake him up with that?"

"Well, yeah," said Dipper. "An airhorn may be overkill, but—"

"Dipper, that's a can of spray cheese."

Dipper looked down at the metallic canister in his hand. "Oh. It is, isn't it? Weird." He tossed the can of spray cheese flippantly over his shoulder, and it hit the former god directly on the nose.

"OW! What?!" cried Harold, sitting up.

"What do you know," said Stan with a grin. "It _is_ possible to wake an unconscious person with a can of pasteurized cheese-like food product."

Dipper swiveled to face his foe-turned-grandfather-in-law. "Mornin' sunshine."

Harold stood and looked around, frowning. "Where am I? Where is my family?" His gaze fell on Stan. "And who is _that_?"

Stan waved. "Hi, I'm Stanley Pines, a friend of the Corduroy family, and Wendy's unofficial grandfather figure. I came here to punch you."

Harold took a hesitant step backward. "Is he serious?" he asked Dipper.

Dipper grinned. "Oh yeah. Don't worry, I'm not going to let him punch you right now, since you just woke up. In answer to where your family is? Away from you. Sorry, Harold. You got voted off the island."

Harold blinked. "What island? There's an island?"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Moving along. This lovely clearing is your home for the time being. We'll be camping here, since your entire family hates you. For your transgressions, you've been sentenced to hard labor, helping me build the cabin that will be mine and Wendy's future home."

"They _all_ hate me?" asked Harold, looking crestfallen. "Even Beithe?"

"Dude. You stole her away from her husband and children, and kept her trapped as a tree for six years. It's safe to assume she's not fond of you," said Dipper.

"Well, this has been fun," said Stan. "But if I can't punch him right now, I think I'll go over to the Mystery Shack and watch some re-runs of Ducktective. Oh, wait." Stan grabbed a scrap of paper and a pen from his pocket, and scribbled a quick note, then handed it to Harold. "Here."

"I.O.U. one face punch," read Harold slowly. He looked up at Stan, who grinned and made finger guns at him, before turning and walking from the clearing.

"I don't remember mortals being quite this strange when I last visited the Mundane Realm for any length of time," remarked Harold. "Granted, that was at least five of your centuries ago."

"Well, Grandpa Harold, you have a lot to catch up on then, don't you?" said Dipper, slapping Harold on the back. "If you behave yourself and try not to go kidnapping anyone, I may introduce you to the mind-numbing delight that is television. For now, let's stick to the basics. Lesson one—how to pitch a tent."

/

Beithe and Wendy were sparring with their magic at the Gravnemeta, grappling with thorn-covered vines, when they heard it.

" _Nas…_ " a voice whispered through the trees. " _Nasu…_ "

Beithe's vines that had been wrapped around Wendy's torso receded. "Um, you heard that too, right?" she asked her daughter.

Wendy nodded, her face paper white. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked quietly, pointing to a barely discernable ripple of light in the air near the giant oak. The ripple split, and a foul black smoke poured out, quickly rendering the air painful to breathe.

"Wendy, blip and get Dipper, _now_. Fenris, too," Beithe choked out. "And Puck if you can find him… anyone. Get anyone. This is bad!"

Wendy opened her mouth to say she didn't want to leave her mother alone at the Gravnemeta, but all that came out was a gasping cough. Beithe reached out and squeezed her daughter's hand. Wendy was trembling, but she nodded. As the acrid black smog swirled around her, she closed her eyes, concentrated on Dipper, and vanished.

/

/

/

/

 **Well, that's all for this chapter. I hope everyone is enjoying how this story is unfolding as much as I am!**

 **I think I've mentioned before that music has a big impact on my writing (it might have been my other fic, The Light of Things Hoped For, where I mentioned it…but whatever). Anyway, I kind of have a theme song that I play when I write the Mabel and Fenris scenes—I think it fits their relationship perfectly. It's soft, comfortable, and nostalgic, while also being intense and full of feeling. If you're interested, go on Youtube and check out the song Your Hand in Mine, by the band Explosions in the Sky. The song has no lyrics, but is capable of making me tear up anyway.**

 **As always, thank you** _ **so much**_ **for reading my story, and for all the follows, favorites, and reviews. The reviews you guys leave make me want to update more often, so keep 'em coming!**

 **Hearts, flowers, and shiny buttons,**

 **Durdle**


	24. Worlds Collide, Chapter Six

Worlds Collide

Chapter Six

Author's Note: I mentioned previously that music influences my writing a lot. It sets my mood, and helps me visualize certain scenes. A guest reviewer suggested that I add a sort of playlist within my story, so people can listen to the same thing that I was when I was writing it. I kind of absolutely love that idea, so I'm going to try it out this chapter. The songs will be inserted when I imagine them kicking in as a sort of soundtrack. The song title and artist will be **[in brackets and bolded]**. Please let me know what you think in the reviews. If a lot of people think it's too distracting, I probably won't do it again. But if you like it, be sure to let me know! And now, the story.

/

/

Dipper stood idly, biting at a hangnail, as he watched Harold struggle to start a fire using only two sticks.

"You know," said Harold grumpily, "I am well aware that humans possess the technology to make lighting fires _much_ easier than this." He looked up at Dipper only to see the satyr flash him a cheeky grin.

"Just consider this a part of your penance, Harold. Besides, I thought you shunned humanity and all the technology we've created."

Harold opened his mouth to reply, then gasped audibly, followed by a raspy coughing fit, as Wendy suddenly appeared in the clearing, in a great billow of heavy, black smoke.

 **[Trembling Hands by Explosions in the Sky]**

"Wendy!" cried Dipper, as she fell to her knees, wheezing. He conjured an industrial-size fan and blew the smoke away from her. It hit the tree line of the clearing before dissipating, and the needles on the trees it hit began to turn brown and cascade to the ground. The smoke left cracked, withered, dead husks of trees where only seconds before, vibrant, green conifers had stood.

Harold stared at the dead trees, horrified, while Dipper darted forward and helped Wendy to her feet.

"Are you okay?" asked Dipper, grabbing her by the shoulders.

Wendy coughed and nodded, her throat still too constricted to speak.

"What in all the realms was _that_?" asked Harold. "The trees! It… it just _killed_ them..."

"I don't know, but it's bad," croaked Wendy. "We have to get help and get back to the Gravnemeta, quick, Dipper! I left my mom there by herself!"

Harold's eyebrows shot up. "Beithe's in trouble? I'll come help!"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "You have no powers, remember Harold? There's nothing you can do to help."

"He's right, old man," said Wendy, her voice cold. "You'd only be a liability. C'mon Dipper. We need to hurry and see if Puck is at his house."

The pair linked arms, and disappeared from the clearing.

Harold sat down in the dirt, and stared vacantly at the dead trees.

/

Sirona had just sat down a tray laden with cups of tea and cookies when Dipper and Wendy blipped into Tad Strange's living room.

"Oh, more visitors!" she said, grinning. "I'll go put the kettle back on…" Sirona trailed off as she noticed the terror in Wendy's eyes. "What's wrong, dear?"

"The Gravnemeta's being attacked, and my mom's there by herself," said Wendy, her voice shaking. "We need help!"

"Is Puck here?" asked Dipper, glancing around. His gaze landed on Fenris and Mabel, sitting side-by-side on a floral print sofa. He wanted to ask what they were doing at Tad Strange's house, but there were more pressing issues at hand. "Oh, good, Fenris, we'll need you too. Sirona, will you come with us?"

Sirona glanced down at Cecil. The boa had wound himself around Wendy's legs, his tiny forked tongue flicking in and out of his mouth as he smelled her. He unwound himself quickly, and slithered back over to Sirona.

"Oh no," she said. Her normally chipper face was a mask of concern. "Cecil says an ancient one, from the same realm of the daevas, is attacking. Yes, of course we'll help."

Fenris' face went white, as he remembered the previous attack from that realm.

Mabel stood, and grabbed Fenris' hand and pulling him up with her. "We're in."

"Fenris, yes, but you? No way," said Dipper. "It's too dangerous, and you're still healing."

"Protecting the Gravnemeta is literally _my job_ ," Mabel said, venom in her voice.

Dipper opened his mouth to argue, but Sirona interrupted him.

"I've just cleared Mabel for duty, and we don't have time to stand around and fight about it," she said urgently. She grabbed Mabel's hand, and with a pop, she, Cecil, Mabel, and Fenris disappeared.

"Dammit!" Dipper's cry echoed for a moment in the empty living room, as he and Wendy blipped back to the Gravnemeta.

/

 **[The Sentinel by Celldweller]**

The Gravnemeta was eerily quiet, except for a wheezing rattle that emanated from near the center. The black smoke was so thick that Mabel could see no more than a foot or two in any direction. She wondered how any of them could possibly fight _smoke_ , when her lungs seized up and she fell into a fit of coughing. Fenris clung to her hand, not doing much better. He was pale and sweaty as he gasped for what little oxygen remained in the air. Sirona, with Cecil draped across her shoulders, stumbled toward the middle of the Gravnemeta, and the faint rattle of lungs nearly on their last breath

"Mom!" choked out Wendy. She and Dipper had materialized directly in front of Beithe's crumpled form.

"Dipper, oxygen!" Sirona rasped out between coughs. Dipper, who was holding his breath, stared at her blankly.

"A tank," croaked Sirona. "And a mask!"

"Oh, right," said Dipper, forgetting that he'd been holding his breath. He conjured the items and handed them to Sirona before doubling over and emitting a harsh, hacking cough.

Mabel pulled the collar of her shirt up over her mouth and nose, hoping to ease her breathing some. Fenris followed suit, as they ventured closer to the others, and watched Sirona strap the clear, plastic mask to Beithe's face. Sirona turned the valve on the canister and started the oxygen flowing. Almost immediately, color began to return to Beithe's ashen cheeks.

"Mabel, Fenris, catch!" wheezed Dipper, as he threw two gas masks toward them. Wendy was already pulling her gas mask on. Dipper leaned over and settled a gas mask onto Sirona as she ministered to Beithe, before putting his own on. Everyone began to breathe more freely. Slowly the coughing and gasping died away, leaving behind nothing but eerie silence.

Dipper turned to Wendy and cocked his head, looking at her through the thick, yellowed lenses on his gas mask.

"Are you my mummy?"

Wendy snorted inside her mask, then kicked Dipper lightly in the shin. "This isn't the best time for Doctor Who references, dork." Nobody could see her face, but it sounded like she was smiling.

"What should we do about the smoke?" asked Mabel. "This can't be good for local wildlife."

"A fan's no good," said Wendy. "When I blipped to Dipper, some smoke blipped with me. He used a fan to blow it away, but the trees it hit all immediately died."

Sirona's head shot up. "It killed the trees? Immediately?"

"Yeah, they just—" began Dipper, but Sirona held up a finger to shush him.

"Cecil says the ancient one is almost here," the goddess said, a note of panic wavering in her voice. "Wendy, Dipper, move Beithe outside of the Gravnemeta, and then hurry back—I have to put a ward up. This smoke cannot be allowed to pollute the Mundane."

Mabel and Fenris stood aside while Beithe was moved to safety, and watched with interest as Sirona ran frantically around the boundary of the Gravnemeta, chanting in her ancient Gaulish tongue.

"Mabel," said Fenris softly, turning to look her in the face, only to remember they were both wearing gas masks. He squeezed her hand. "I am scared for you."

Mabel sighed. "Fen, this is what I've been training for. I'm just glad to have some godly help this time. I… crap, I don't even have a weapon on me!"

"Dipper, Mabel needs a weapon!" cried Fenris, as Dipper and Wendy trotted back toward them from the edge of the Gravnemeta.

"What kind?" asked Dipper, rubbing his hands together.

"A glaive," said Mabel immediately. She hadn't been training with it long, but for some reason, the polearm felt the most natural of all the weapons she'd trained with.

"A what now?" asked Dipper, cocking his head to the side.

"Like, a spear," said Mabel, gesturing wide with her hands. "But with a sword on the end."

As Dipper was conjuring the weapon, it began to rain—large, fat black drops landed on the group, stinging their uncovered skin.

"Sorry about the rain," said Sirona, as she jogged up behind them, Cecil draped across her shoulders. "The ward I set up is basically a dome of water…the smoke hitting it becomes… acid rain, I guess"

 **[Empyrean by Celldweller]**

Before anyone could answer, they heard it. A low, gurgling growl, and a heavy, slow, almost metallic footfall, making its way toward them from the center of the Gravnemeta.

"Uh, shit," said Dipper, handing Mabel her weapon and backing up a few steps.

"Dipper, this is a scythe!" hissed Mabel.

"Sorry, I panicked!" said Dipper, with a nervous laugh. "It, uh, it looks plenty sharp, though."

Mabel sighed. "Everyone space out. We don't know what we're dealing with, and right now we're just a perfect little clustered up target."

Everyone stared at Mabel as if she'd grown two heads. The gravelly breathing and footsteps grew closer.

"Space out! Now!" shouted Mabel.

Everyone split, except Fenris, who was very conflicted.

"Mabel, I have to stay with you," he said softly, desperation in his voice. "I became human so I could—"

"Protect me, I know." Mabel reached out and touched his arm, which was slick with grimy, black water. She thought for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, Fen. You're with me. You watch my back, I'll watch yours."

Fenris sighed with relief, but with Mabel's next words, he tensed right back up.

"So, I know as a wolf you had the whole bitey thing going on—but what are your powers in human form? You _do_ have powers, right?"

 **[ShutEmDown by Celldweller]**

Before Fenris could answer her, they were nearly knocked to the ground by a wave of superheated air, accompanied by a deafening roar that sounded like a diesel engine mixed with the screech of grinding gears.

An enormous, dark beast broke through the smoke about three meters in front of Mabel and Fenris, creeping slowly on all fours. It looked like an amalgamation of demonic hyena and robot. It was covered in a thin, leathery, grey skin, with metallic joints, and deep-set eye sockets, which lit up like glowing coals from within. It whipped a long, lizard-like, steel-scaled tail around its body, causing the smoke to billow and swirl.

The creature opened its mouth to roar again, and Mabel and Fenris could see all the way down its throat, into the pit of its belly—its insides burned with white-hot flame. As it let out another bone-rattling roar, thick black smoke poured out of its mouth.

Mabel took a deep breath, planted her feet solidly and straightened her shoulders. Her eyes darted to Fenris, and she hoped he was looking at her through the thick lenses of the gas mask. His head was angled toward her, in any case.

"Let's play offense," she whispered. An almost imperceptible nod of Fenris' head told her he heard and acknowledged her words.

"NOW!" cried Mabel, as she took a running leap at the demon, bringing her scythe down in a wide arc, aiming for the creature's head. Before the blow could connect, the creature swiped her out the air with a massive paw, and sent her flying backward.

" _Mabel!_ " screamed Fenris. He kept his eyes on the beast, dancing backward, deftly dodging the swipes from its razor-sharp claws.

She sat up and coughed, getting her wind back. "I'm fine," she wheezed, as Fenris reached her and gave her a hand back up.

"Fen, look out!" Mabel cried suddenly. While Fenris was focused on her, he'd let his guard down. The creature took advantage of this, and launched itself at him.

Mabel threw herself at Fenris, tackling him to the ground just in time for him to watch the demon sail through the spot where he'd just been standing.

"Thanks," he murmured, as Mabel rolled off of him. "Hey, is it just me, or does it look like the smoke is starting to clear?"

The creature was crouching behind them, preparing for another attack.

"Maybe?" said Mabel. As long as she had the gasmask and could breathe, she didn't care about the smoke.

Mabel pulled Fenris to his feet without taking her eyes off the beast. It leapt at them, its jaws snapping, black foam dripping from its silver fangs. As she and Fenris dodged, she swung her scythe around, slicing into one of the creature's forelegs. It lifted its head and screeched, as black blood poured from the wound.

"Nice! So it _can_ be hurt," said Dipper. He and Wendy were standing halfway across the clearing, next to a giant metal box that was sucking the smog in through a large circular vent on its front.

"I told you it looked like the smoke was clearing," said Fenris cheerfully, as he and Mabel jogged toward Dipper and Wendy. "It's even stopped raining on us!"

"Guys, hurry!" urged Wendy, waving them forward. "It's right behind you!"

"Split!" yelled Mabel. She ran left and Fenris ran right, hoping to confuse it.

Mabel didn't have to look over her shoulder to know that the creature was still chasing her. She heard the sound of it running, like pistons firing, and she could feel its superhot breath on the back of her neck. It was too close behind her to risk turning to attack it.

"Someone, please get this thing off me!" she shouted.

"Can do!" cried Sirona, emerging from what was left of the smoke on the opposite side of the clearing, Cecil slung over her shoulders, carrying an armful of rocks. "Hey 'ancient one,'" the goddess of healing springs called out mockingly. "Ready to rock n' roll?"

She began pelting it with large stones, mainly aiming for its head.

"Crude, but effective," said Dipper, as he, Wendy, and Fenris trotted up to Mabel. The creature had given up on its prey, and began bearing down on its attacker.

"Almost out of rocks!" Sirona sang out. "Someone else be the diversion now?"

"Coming," called Wendy. She ran full tilt until she was parallel with the beast, and shot vines from her hands at it. Dipper, Fenris and Mabel followed close behind her, readying themselves to attack.

The vines, still an extension of Wendy's hands, reached the demon, and wrapped around its torso, causing it to stop its charge at Sirona, and claw frantically at the growth that was tightening around its rib cage. When Sirona saw the creature halt, she booked it toward the others.

"All right!" crowed Wendy. "Flower power for the win!"

Her glee was short-lived, however. Dipper spotted it before she did.

"Wendy, release the vines!" he yelled. The vines around the demon began to turn black and crumble, the decay quickly speeding down the vines toward Wendy.

"What?" Wendy asked, just as the decay reached her hands. Her body suddenly slumped, and she crumpled nearly to the ground. Dipper caught her and lowered her more gently than she would have fallen.

"Sirona!" he screamed, panicked.

"You don't have to yell, I'm right here," said the older goddess gently, as she knelt next to Wendy.

Behind them, the beast was clawing away the last of its binds.

The air was clear enough that Mabel pulled off her gasmask. She turned to Fenris.

"Looks like it's down to us." She dropped the mask at her feet, and tilted her neck, cracking it. "Now would be a good time to figure out if you have any powers in your human form."

/

 **[First Person Shooter by Celldweller]**

Fenris peeled off his mask, and wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his arm, leaving behind a streak of black grime. He narrowed his eyes at the demon. He had to protect Mabel. Nothing was more important to him.

"I am destruction," he murmured to himself.

"What?" asked Mabel.

Fenris shook his head, sending little droplets of sweat flying from the tips of his hair.

"Nothing." He nodded toward the monster, who had just tossed aside the last of the vines constricting it. "We need to draw it away from them so Sirona can heal Wendy."

"I'll go head-on, you flank," said Mabel, with grim determination.

Fenris touched her arm softly. "Be careful, Mabel."

She surprised him by leaning in and kissing him on the cheek, before running directly at the beast, screaming "HEY BUTTFACE!"

Fenris grinned to himself as he took off at a run, making a wide arc around the Gravnemeta.

His mind was racing. He'd watched Dipper learn to master _his_ magic—or at least be able to use it effectively around seventy percent of the time. A god's magic was connected to what it primarily represented. The main reason Dipper's magic was so versatile was because almost anything could be used to cause mischief. Fenris had to narrow his scope to destruction.

He stopped just behind the monster, taking care to watch out for its wildly lashing tail. Mabel was holding her own against the beast, slashing at it with the scythe and dodging out of its range while shouting insults at it.

Fenris tried to slow his breathing, and concentrate on destruction. He closed his eyes, and suddenly felt something small and round in his hand. He looked down.

A grenade. That wouldn't work. There would be too much chance to hurt everyone at the Gravnemeta. Fenris sighed and closed his eyes, willing the grenade out of existence. He tried to concentrate on destruction once again, but his focus was shattered by a scream.

"Mabel?!"

The beast had knocked her to the ground, and was holding her down with a paw on her chest. She was trying to hold off its snapping jaws with the staff of her scythe.

There was no thought involved, only instinct. Fenris ran full-speed at the demon's side, and barreled into it, knocking it down, and freeing Mabel. As the beast struggled to its feet, Fenris scrambled onto its back, grabbing its neck, and twisting it.

The creature's neck didn't break as Fenris had intended it to. He surmised that it must be because its bones, like its teeth, were probably metal.

"Well shit," muttered Fenris, as the beast began to buck like a prize bull, trying to throw off its hanger-on.

 **[Pulsar by Celldweller]**

Fenris clung to the demon's neck, trying to simultaneously choke off its air supply, and keep from being flung off.

Mabel bit her lip anxiously. She tried to get close enough to the creature to use her scythe, but it was literally spinning in circles, its limbs and tail flailing wildly.

Fenris caught a flash of white out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't tell what it was. Mabel saw it too.

"Cecil!" she cried. "Be careful, it'll crush you!"

The snake ignored her, and deftly maneuvered under the monster. It anchored itself by wrapping the end of its tail around on of the demon's feet, and began to weave itself in a figure-eight around its legs, constricting them until it could no longer move.

As the demon ceased to spin, Fenris still clung to its neck, even as it lost its balance and was toppling over. He didn't want the thing to be able to bite Mabel. The fall felt like slow motion, and Fenris realized a bit too late that one of his legs was about to be caught under the monster when it landed.

The demon thrashed as it fell, but Cecil held its legs tightly. It landed with a thud, roaring and hissing, black foam frothing out of its mouth, as it tried desperately to free its head from Fenris' grip.

"Mabel, now!" cried Fenris, as he pulled back as hard as he could on the beast's head, exposing its throat.

Mabel nodded, her mouth in a grim line, as she stepped forward and sliced the demon's throat, the depth of the cut extending halfway through its neck.

With a gurgling scream, black blood cascading from its gaping wound, the demon thrashed once, then went limp. The red, coal-like glow in its eye sockets dimmed, until nothing remained in its eyes but darkness.

Fenris let go of the beast's head, and flopped backwards. His aching arms felt like wet noodles.

"Cut its head all the way off, Mabel," he said, staring up at the dome of water that still protected the rest of the world from the residual pollution caused by the demon.

He heard a squelch and a thud.

"Gross," muttered Mabel. She walked over to Fenris, and held out her hand.

 **[Made of Stardust by Epic Soul Factory]**

"I'm kind of stuck," he said with a small smile, nodding toward his trapped leg.

"Well, let's get you unstuck, then," she said in her cheerful, Mabel way. She tossed her scythe aside, and planted her shoulder against the demon's body, pushing it with all her might.

"Oof, this thing weighs a ton," said Mabel, straining to move it. She was able to budge it just enough that Fenris could slide himself backward, and free his leg.

Fenris slowly rose, putting weight gingerly on the leg that had been trapped.

"Yeah," he said, taking a tentative step, and grimacing. "I think its bones are solid steel or something ridiculous like that."

Mabel moved to put an arm around Fenris' shoulders, to help support him, but he caught it and pulled her against him in a fierce hug before she realized what was happening. He felt her heart begin to beat faster as he pressed a kiss onto the top of her head.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, not letting go.

"Am _I_ okay?" she giggled into his shoulder. "Says the guy who just had his leg crushed by a huge, creepy demon thing."

"I saw it step on your chest, Mabel," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "I'm a god—I'll bounce back from this in no time. But you're mortal… are you sure you're okay?"

Mabel pulled back slightly and looked Fenris in the eye. "I'll be bruised and sore," she said honestly. "But it's nothing serious. I promise, Fen."

Fenris bit his lip and nodded. He lowered his head, lightly resting his forehead against Mabel's.

She touched his cheek, and tilted her face slightly upward.

"I know you're an unconventional couple," said Dipper loudly, startling the pair apart. "But couldn't you at least move _away_ from the decapitated monster before making out?"

Dipper approached them, carrying Wendy in his arms, with Sirona and Cecil by their side.

"We didn't—I mean, we're not—" sputtered Mabel, flustered.

"Is Wendy okay?" asked Fenris, frowning. Wendy appeared to be alert and pouting.

"Wendy is _fine_ ," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Dingus here insists on carrying me. Wouldn't take no for an answer."

"You _were_ a little wobbly on your feet, my dear," said Sirona in a motherly tone.

"Yeah, take his side," muttered Wendy.

"What was that with your vines, anyway?" asked Mabel. "Fen touched the creature and it didn't affect him like that."

"My theory is that it was a …pollution demon…maybe?" said Sirona with a shrug. That would explain why its effects seemed more pronounced on Beithe and Wendy, seeing as they are dryads."

Dipper looked up at the dome of water overhead. "The pollution mostly got sucked up in my industrial air purifier, so d'you think the ward can come down? We should probably check on Beithe."

Sirona nodded. "Right you are." She snapped her fingers, and the water evaporated in a puff of mist, which quickly dissipated in the breeze.

 **[Doomsday by Nero]**

 _Clap. Clap. Clap._

A slow clap echoed through the clearing, and everyone turned to see the source. A man of indeterminate age, dressed in an open, steel gray Nehru jacket over an ice-blue hoodie and jeans, was making his way across the Gravnemeta toward the group, a smarmy grin pasted across his face. His features were delicate, and his hair was black. A white trilby hat was perched jauntily on his head. He held a thick, iron chain in one hand. He gave the chain a strong tug.

"Come along now, love," said the man, his gentle voice carrying across the clearing. "You don't want to keep your friends waiting, do you?"

A bound, gagged, and thoroughly beaten-looking Arden stumbled forward.

Mabel gasped, and started to call out, but a vice-like grip clamped on her elbow, and she disappeared.

/

Mabel blinked, taken aback. She was in her bedroom in the Mystery Shack. She turned and looked at Fenris, rubbing her elbow where he'd gripped her so hard. She meant to give him an earful and have him blip her back to the Gravnemeta, but the look on his face stopped her.

"Fen, what's wrong?"

He was shaking, his face ashen, and his eyes wild. Mabel took his trembling hand, and steered him over to the bed. She sat him down on the edge, and knelt in front of him. She reached out to touch his cheek, and he flinched.

"You're scaring me," she said. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Fenris took a shaky breath.

"Mabel, that was my dad. That was Loki."

/

/

/

/

 **Aaaaand another trickster enters the ring! XD**

 **Thanks for reading! I appreciate every single view, follow, favorite, or review that I get. Seriously, it really pushes me to keep writing. Let me know what you thought of the music inserts that I added. If it was too distracting I won't do it again. It was kind of fun, though. :)**

 **Hearts, flowers, and handfuls of glitter,**

 **Durdle**


	25. Worlds Collide, Chapter Seven

Worlds Collide

Chapter Seven

 **[Roustabout (Bassnectar Remix) by Beats Antique]**

"Loki." Sirona frowned at the Norse trickster. "Unbind Arden. Now."

Dipper and Wendy both shot glances over at Fenris, but he and Mabel were gone. The couple met each other's eyes, their expressions mirror images of confusion.

Loki smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, as he strode across the Gravnemeta. He looked like a really nice guy, apart from the fact that he was trailing a beaten and gagged goddess along behind him like a dog.

"Put me down, Dipper," Wendy whispered. "I'm feeling kind of fighty-or-flighty."

Dipper nodded, and gently placed Wendy on her feet.

"I have to say, that was an excellent performance," drawled Loki. He stopped about a meter from the group and grinned. "Especially that bull-riding bit—that was genius. Well, not really. It was idiotic—but in the most entertaining way. Where is that boy? He deserves a smiley-face sticker or something."

Sirona wasn't amused. She crossed her arms and stared the trickster down.

"Unbind. Arden. NOW."

Loki narrowed his eyes, and tapped his chin with a finger. "Yeah, no. I mean, for all you know, she _likes_ being tied up. Maybe that's her fetish." He glanced at Wendy, and winked, murmuring "I know it's one of mine."

"Okay, ew," muttered Wendy.

"Sorry," said Dipper, hesitantly raising his hand like he was in class. "Um, hi, new god here. Can you at least tell us why you have Arden tied up?"

"Why, yes, in fact, I can," said Loki. "You see, before I tied her up, she kept trying to run away from me. It was quite rude of her."

"Um," said Dipper. "So, but… _why_?"

Loki rolled his eyes. " _Because_ I was trying to talk to her. Yeesh. Did no one ever teach you how to infer from context, kid?"

"No, that's not—" sputtered Dipper.

"He meant why did you kidnap Arden in the first place?" asked Wendy, her eyes narrowed.

"Oh, pish posh," said Loki, flapping a hand. "Kidnap is such an _unpleasant_ term. Think of it more like… I took her on an involuntary vacation."

Arden stood slightly behind Loki, staring daggers at the back of his head.

"Semantics," spat Sirona. "Why did you take her, and what do you want?"

"Well, it seems my son has gone missing," said Loki, pouting theatrically. "You may have heard of him. Big, furry, pointy ears and teeth—goes by the name of Fenrir? See, I have it on good authority that someone from the Green Realm released him from his bonds. When I questioned the new king of the Green… whatsits… horny guy…"

"Cernunnos," supplied Dipper.

"Right! Cernunnos," said Loki. "When I asked him about it, he said that the last time he saw Fenrir, my boy was accompanying some gods to the Mundane Realm, to help _protect_ it or some foolishness. Said his sister, Arduinna, might know where to find him." Loki winked and tilted his head back toward Arden.

"But why kidnap Arden?" asked Sirona. "Why not just come ask her?"

Loki shrugged. "I was bored."

"You asshole," said Dipper, clenching his fists. "After you took Arden, daevas attacked the Gravnemeta and nearly killed my sister!"

A smirk slowly spread across Loki's mouth. "Ah yes, the daevas. They provided a very good distraction while I nipped in and absconded with Her Royal Bitchiness," he said, indicating over his shoulder with a thumb.

Dipper saw red. Wendy and Sirona had to grab him by the elbows to hold him back from attacking Loki.

"You _brought_ them here?" he shrieked, his voice cracking.

Loki grinned and shrugged, his hands palms-up. "What can I say? I'm a fan of chaos and mayhem."

Dipper started to yell profanities at the Norse god, but was muffled when Sirona placed her hand over his mouth.

"The pollution demon…monster…thing…that was you too, I gather?" asked Sirona, glancing over at the corpse of the beast, laying apart from its head in a pool of black ooze.

"Nasu? Yeah, that was me," said Loki casually, chuckling. "Boy, he was a nasty one, wasn't he? Those ancient demons don't mess around."

Sirona, Dipper, and Wendy stared at Loki wordlessly. He stared back without blinking.

"So," said Loki, ending the awkward silence. "My boy. Arden says he hangs around the girl who's supposed to protect this place, and pretends to be her puppy?" He paused. "I might have to have a talk with him about that. Gods of destruction are not supposed to be small and cute.

"Anyway," he continued, "I'm here to make a deal. I will trade you one slightly-used goddess for one fluffy little doom-bringer. At sundown tomorrow, you will bring my son to me here. Should you be disinclined to acquiesce to my request, I will let some of Nasu's big brothers out to play. They don't play well with others."

With a soft pop, Loki and Arden disappeared from the Gravenemeta. Loki's malevolent laughter, however, lingered in the clearing for almost a minute after he'd gone.

/

 **[Last Known Surroundings by Explosions in the Sky]**

Mabel sat next to Fenris on her bed, and took his hand. It was cold and clammy.

"Why are you so scared of your dad?" she asked softly. "I mean, my first impression of him isn't great, what with him showing up with my mentor in chains… But is he really so bad? I thought he was a trickster, like Puck and Dipper."

"He's a trickster, yeah," said Fenris, his chin trembling. "But he's _nothing_ like Puck and Dipper."

"How so?" asked Mabel. She leaned back against the pillows at the head of the bed, and propped her feet up, patting the empty spot beside her. Fenris scooted next to her, and curled up against her side, making himself as small as possible.

"Dipper is a smartass, but you know your brother—he's a genuinely good guy. Puck can be an asshole, and sometimes takes jokes too far," explained Fenris. "But he's mostly an _okay_ guy. He usually does what he does for selfish reasons, but he doesn't go out of his way to hurt people."

"And Loki?" prompted Mabel.

Fenris shivered, and pressed his face into Mabel's shoulder. "He's not an okay guy," he mumbled. "He has no sense of honor, no capacity to love. He does _nothing_ that does not benefit him in some way. When the Aesir became scared of me due to my size, they bound me in magic chains, and propped my mouth open with a sword. I screamed the whole time. Wailed. In my mind-speak I shouted to any who were nearby that I was wrongly imprisoned—that I had done nothing to deserve my binds. Okay, so I _did_ bite off Tyr's hand, but that was only after I realized they had tricked me and I was trapped. I panicked."

"You bit off a guy's hand?" asked Mabel.

"A god, actually…yes," said Fenris, his voice small. He was afraid of Mabel's reaction.

"That is so… _metal_!" she enthused.

"Um, I guess?" said Fenris. "Anyway, the point I was trying to make, is that my father could have come to my aid at any time. He knew where I was. In fact, he came by to see me once. I cried out for him to help me, and do you know what he did? He laughed. Said it was my own fault for being gullible and letting the Aesir put the chain on me."

"What a dick," said Mabel, running her fingers through Fenris' hair. "That's awful, Fen. I'm so sorry he treated you like that. But—and I'm not trying to downplay what a rat bastard he is—you seem actually _scared_ of him. I understand why you'd hate him, but why are you so scared?"

Fenris trembled. "The prophecy," he said. "I think he's going to try and use it against me."

"How?" asked Mabel.

"In the prophecy, Ragnarok begins when I break free of my chains, and start devouring the world," said Fenris. He pressed himself closer to Mabel, and squeezed his eyes shut. "Since I'm free of my chains, I think he wants me to start… start doing what I'm meant for."

"Oh, God," Mabel breathed. "You think—"

Fenris cut her off.

"Loki wants me to destroy the world."

/

/

/

 **Hello lovelies! Sorry to post such a short chapter this time, but it was either that or wait until after November, and I didn't want to just drop the Loki bomb and run, so… short chapter.**

 **I am going to be taking a hiatus from fan fiction for the month of November, to do NaNoWriMo, and work on my original novel.**

 **Please give me reviews and let me know what you think!**

 **All of the hearts and flowers,**

 **Geeky Durdle**


	26. Worlds Collide, Chapter Eight

Author's Note: I did a chapter playlist again. If you give any of the songs a listen I'd love to hear your thoughts on how they fit with their respective scenes.

 **Worlds Collide**

 **Chapter Eight**

 **[A Song Of Our Fathers by Explosions in the Sky]**

Mabel lay on her bed, Fenris pressed against her, shaking. She gently stroked his hair. He was the most pure soul she knew. The Ragnarok prophecy was a bunch of bullshit.

"Loki can't _make_ you do anything you don't want to, though, right?" asked Mabel softly.

"I don't know," said Fenris, his voice small. "He's a pro at manipulating people to get what he wants. I mean, he had Arden chained up—she's his hostage. There's a good chance he's offering to trade her for me, if he found out I'm here."

"That's exactly what he's offering."

Mabel and Fenris both jumped, and sat up quickly. They hadn't heard Dipper blip in.

"Shit," muttered Mabel.

Dipper sat on the edge of his old bed, his hands on his furry goat knees. He wore a pained expression.

"It gets worse," he continued. "It was Loki who released the daevas into the Mundane. He released them as a distraction so he could kidnap Arden. Turns out he'd been told that she might know where Fenrir was hiding. It looked like he'd tortured the answer out of her."

"Oh, God," said Mabel. She grabbed Fenris's hand in hers, and squeezed. It was ice cold.

Fenris stared at the floor as he spoke. "So he knows I'm here, then."

Dipper nodded. "Yes—but he still thinks you're in puppy form. Remember, Arden was kidnapped before you took human form. He didn't recognize you, even though he mentioned 'the boy' fighting Nasu, that demon, just now. Speaking of Nasu, Loki released _it_ too."

"But _why_?" breathed Mabel. "He obviously already knew you were here from Arden—why attack us?"

Fenris frowned, and ran his free hand through his hair, making it stick up in clumps. "Probably to show us what he's capable of—and simply to cause mayhem."

Dipper sighed. "You're right. And...and he said if we didn't release you to him by sundown tomorrow, he was going to let loose some of Nasu's 'big brothers' to wreak havoc on the Gravnemeta."

"Big brothers?" whispered Mabel, going pale. "So Nasu was _small_?"

Dipper nodded, his eyes weary. "Wendy, Beithe, and Sirona are gathering everyone together to discuss what to do. We're going to meet in an hour at the campsite where I'm building mine and Wendy's cabin."

Fenris glanced up at Dipper, his normally bright blue eyes now a stormy, gray color. "What's to discuss? I have to go with him. Arden's one of _you_. I'm the odd one out, here. And I can't let my dad release any more of those ancient demons. We were barely able to take out this one."

"Fen, no!" cried Mabel, throwing her arms around him. She pressed her face into his shoulder. "You can't! There has to be another way!"

Fenris looked at his hands, his chin quivering. "I'm sorry, Mabel."

Dipper stood up with a small grunt. "Look, just meet us in an hour. We'll figure everything out then."

"Dipper, please, you can't let him—" began Mabel, looking up at her brother with tears in her eyes.

Dipper cut her off. "Oh, and here." In his hands there suddenly appeared a set of clothes and a pair of combat boots. He shoved them into Fenris's arms. "I had to guess your size, but they should probably fit. You look ridiculous in Soos's old clothes."

Fenris smiled wryly at his best friend. "Gee, thanks."

Dipper nodded and gave Fenris a mock salute, before blipping away.

Fenris stood and tossed the heap of clothes onto Dipper's old bed, before pulling Soos's too-big sweatshirt over his head.

Mabel caught herself staring, then blushed and looked away. "You're not really going to leave me, are you Fen?" she asked softly, her face to the wall. Fenris was quiet—the only noise in the room was the rustle of clothes as he got dressed.

The mattress creaked as he sat back down on the bed, and pulled on the socks and combat boots Dipper had supplied him with. Mabel figured it was safe to turn back around, and the sight that met her broke her heart. Fenris was staring at her, woebegone, silent tears pouring down his cheeks.

"Fen," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

With a sob he launched himself toward her, wrapped his arms around her, and buried his head in her shoulder.

/

 **[Leaving Lemuria by Jo Blankenburg]**

An hour later, Fenris blipped himself and Mabel over to the clearing where Dipper and Wendy's cabin would eventually be located. Their eyes were red and puffy, and they clasped hands tightly, as they walked forward and saw that everyone was already there.

 _Everyone_ : Puck, Beithe, Dan, Marcus, Sirona, both Stans, Wendy and Dipper, Harold, Soos, Melody, and even Grenda, with Bork riding on her shoulder. They were sitting around the clearing in lawn chairs, chatting amongst themselves. They grew quiet as Mabel and Fenris approached.

"Um, hi," said Mabel, raising her hand at the group and waggling her fingers at them. "If you're all here, who is watching the Gravnemeta?"

"Good ol' Cecil has an eye on it for me," said Sirona, beckoning Mabel and Fenris toward two empty lawn chairs. "We have a psychic link. Anything happens, and I can blip over there in half a second."

"Oh," said Mabel, as she sat. "Good." She turned to Fenris. His face was pale, and his features pinched. A lump rose in her throat. "Okay...we're here. So..."

Beithe finished her question."So what are we going to do about Loki? We have some ideas."

Fenris gripped the arms of his lawn chair with white knuckles. "There's nothing to talk about. You all need Arden back—and we can't risk Loki letting more ancient demons through."

"Well, we certainly aren't giving _you_ to Loki, if that's what you have in mind," Beithe said, crossing her arms. A murmur of agreement rippled through the group. Fenris looked up, his eyes wide.

"But-" he began to protest weakly.

"But nothin', kid," interrupted Stanley, his gruff voice warm. "You helped get our Wendy back. It was _you_ who arranged to get Dipper back from the dead when the dingus went and got himself killed. You're his best friend—and you're Mabel's...boyfriend? Puppy? I don't know. Point is, you're family now. We don't give up on family around here."

Fenris could barely talk—his throat felt tight. "But what about Arden? And the demons?" he managed to get out.

It was Harold who spoke this time, quietly, from the back of the group. "If Loki kills Arden, he will have killed the sister of the new king of the Green Realm. I doubt he would be foolish enough to risk it. It would mean all-out war between our realms."

"You haven't actually met my dad, have you?" asked Fenris. "He is chaos incarnate. The mayhem created by war is right in his wheelhouse."

"Fen," muttered Mabel under her breath, as she grabbed his hand. "Stop arguing, please—I don't want them to change their minds!"

Fenris looked at her. "But she's your mentor, Mabel! She's teaching you to fight, to be the protector of the Gravnemeta."

"Look, kiddo," said Puck, standing up with his arms folded over his chest. "We aren't going to just abandon Arden. I've already sent some contacts of mine into the Norse Realm to see if they can find where Loki's holding her. Once they get back to me, we can plan a rescue mission."

"So you all would really risk having to fight off more ancient demons, just to keep me around?" Fenris asked quietly. Everyone nodded.

"You're a good dog, Fenris," said Grenda loudly. Bork, sitting on her shoulder, nodded his head vigorously. "And Loki is a bad god. You belong here, with us."

Mabel squeezed Fenris's hand tightly. He looked at her, and bit his lower lip. She smiled. "You hear that, Fen? You're family. You belong with us—and we're not letting you go without a fight."

Fenris looked away, sniffed, and wiped his eyes with his free hand.

"Okay," said Dipper, with a small grin. "So now that _that's_ out of the way, we need to talk about how we're going to prep the Gravnemeta for a fight."

/

 **[Satyros by Faun]**

Wendy and the Stans stuck around the campsite with Dipper and Harold after everyone else left. The discussion had run long, and it was twilight.

"So you _really_ intend to come fight with us at the Gravnemeta tomorrow?" Stanley asked Harold. He eyed Harold's mortal physique, and smirked. "You don't bring much to the table, do you?"

Harold stared down his nose at Stan. "I am thousands of years old," he huffed. "There is much I am capable of."

Wendy, sitting in front a campfire that Dipper had conjured, roasting marshmallows, scoffed. "Maybe when you were still a _god_ , Gramps. I saw what my dad did to you. You've still got bruises from it. Can you even block a punch?"

Stan grinned widely.

"Stanley, no," said Ford firmly.

Harold turned to look at Ford. "No, what?"

There was a dull thwack, and Harold's eyes rolled up as he spun around and fell to the ground with a thud.

"Nope," Stan said, grinning at a laughing Wendy as he rubbed his knuckles. "He cannot block a punch. Apparently."

Ford sighed and knelt down to check on Harold. "Congratulations, Stanley, you knocked a defenseless man out cold. Are you proud of yourself?" He stood back up and crossed his arms.

"Absolutely," said Stan proudly, his hands on his hips. "Come on, Poindexter, the guy's a prick. He's a kidnapper and a misogynist. And don't forget, he was sent here as _punishment_. I'm just doing my part to help out."

Dipper clapped Stan on the shoulder. "On behalf of gods everywhere, I thank you," he said, his tone solemn, but his eyes dancing with laughter.

"Seriously, Ford—don't worry about him," said Wendy, blowing on a marshmallow that had caught fire. "He trapped my mom in a tree and kidnapped me. I personally think he deserves worse than a punch in the face."

Ford sighed. "Heathens, all of you."

Dipper chuckled and trotted up to Ford, pulling his Grunkle's trench coat open, revealing the small arsenal that Ford kept on him at all times.

"Ha! You're one to talk. You like a fight as much as the rest of us—you're just a more technologically advanced heathen."

"OOOH!" cried Stan, pointing at his brother. "You just got called out by the goat boy!"

Ford tried to look grumpy, but the corners of his mouth twitching upward gave him away. He pulled his coat shut, and looked down at the still unconscious Harold.

"If he doesn't have magic and he can't fight, he's just going to be a liability tomorrow," he said, scratching his chin. "He'll probably end up getting himself killed."

"Eh, I doubt anyone would mourn his loss," said Stan, shrugging.

"Ugh," said Wendy. "My mom might, actually. She said that a long time ago he used to be a good guy. She was going to let him crash on our sofa, but the rest of us vetoed that idea."

Dipper nodded toward Ford's coat. "Give him one of your weapons, then," he suggested. "Something easy to use. Not a gun, though. I don't want Harold to end up shooting one of us."

Ford pouted. "But I need them."

" _All_ of them?" asked Stan. "Come on, Sixer. I know you have extra fingers, but you only have two hands."

Ford sighed and opened his coat, trying to decide which weapon he could part with that Harold might be able to actually use. He gripped the handle of a long, thin sword, and pulled it out, handing it to Dipper.

"Give him this," Ford said. "It's an electrified katana. That button there turns on the current. Warn him that once it's turned on he must _not_ touch the metal part of the sword."

"Remind him to touch the metal part, got it," said Dipper, nodding.

"No, _not_ to touch the metal part," said Ford.

Dipper grinned at him. "Fine, have it your way," he said.

Ford rolled his eyes and glanced at the sky. "It's getting late. I need to get back to my lab and make some modifications to some of my weapons before tomorrow."

Stan yawned. "And while he does his nerd thing, I need to sleep. See you kids, and I guess _him_ ," he said, nudging Harold with his foot, "tomorrow morning."

Dipper and Wendy waved as the Stans headed back into the woods. Wendy then turned to Dipper, and put her arms around his neck. She sighed, and kissed him. Her lips were slightly sticky, and tasted like marshmallows.

"I should go, too," Wendy said, her mouth against his. "My dad'll send out a search party if I'm not home soon."

Dipper kissed her again, a lingering kiss that made her knees weak. "Are you _sure_ you have to go?"

Harold groaned a few feet away, slowly sitting up and rubbing his jaw. Wendy raised an eyebrow at Dipper.

"Well, now I definitely do," she said. She kissed him swiftly once more.

"Goodnight Wen," whispered Dipper.

"Goodnight, dork."

/

 **[Be Comfortable, Creature by Explosions in the Sky]**

The deep velvet twilight ushered away the last light of the day, and Mabel and Fenris lay side by side on the roof of the Mystery Shack, watching the stars come out.

Fenris chuckled, and pointed up. "That cluster of stars looks exactly like the mark on Dipper's forehead."

Mabel giggled. "Well, it would. That's where he gets his nickname—because his birthmark looks just like the big dipper."

"Nickname?" Fenris asked, confused. "I thought Dipper was his real name."

"Nope," said Mabel. She clasped her hands behind her head, and scooted a little closer to Fenris. "His real name is Mason."

"Mason?"

"Yup."

"I prefer Dipper," said Fenris.

"Ha," laughed Mabel. "So does he. I used to be jealous of him, when we were little. I wanted a nickname too. I hated my name."

"What did you want to be called?" asked Fenris, curious. He leaned up on his elbow so he could look at her.

Mabel flashed him a grin. "Sparkle Kitty Meow Meow Sassypants."

Fenris arched an eyebrow and tried not to laugh. "Oh. Well… that's a… nice nickname."

Mabel blew a raspberry. "Are you kidding? It's awful! I'm glad it didn't stick."

Fenris smiled. "Your real name is beautiful, anyway." He reached out and touched her cheek. "Just like you."

The blood rushed to Mabel's face. She flapped a hand at Fenris. "Pshh. You flatterer."

Fenris took her hand and held it to his lips, as he looked at her from under his eyelashes, and said softly, "Is it still considered flattery if it's true?"

"Uh," said Mabel, unable to look away from Fenris's instense gaze. The heat of his breath on her hand sent chills up her spine. Her heart was pounding, and she was lightheaded. She felt like her brain was short-circuiting. "Uh," she said again dumbly.

Fenris gave Mabel a rakish smile and let her hand go. "You okay?"

Mabel nodded. Her whole body tingled.

"You're shivering," observed Fenris. "It is kind of cold. We should get you inside."

He sat all the way up and offered her a hand. Mabel took it and sat up as well, but instead of standing, she threw her arms around Fenris's neck and pressed her face into his shoulder. His body was giving off warmth like a space heater. He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close against him. Not satisfied, Mabel climbed into his lap, and wrapped her legs around his torso. She was shaking, but it wasn't because she was cold.

Fenris gripped Mabel tightly, and held his face against her neck. He could feel her pulse pounding. He realized he was shaking too. He'd known he'd loved Mabel before he took human form, but he hadn't expected the whole-body feeling that now seemed to take over. He felt a need for physical closeness with her in a way that he hadn't previously. In puppy form, he'd wanted to cuddle her, to provide her comfort and companionship in a completely innocent way. Now, his human body was prompting him to do things because _he_ needed them—things that definitely didn't seem innocent.

Fenris let out a shuddering breath, and hesitantly pressed his mouth against Mabel's neck, feeling the beat of her heart through his lips. He heard a sharp intake of breath from Mabel, and pulled away quickly. Mabel made a small noise, and twined her fingers through his hair, pulling his head back toward her.

He pressed his mouth against her pulse point much less hesitantly this time, and his scalp tingled as Mabel gripped his hair more tightly. She lifted her chin, exposing more of her neck. Fenris sighed and breathed in her scent, detecting a musky note that he'd never noticed before.

"Mabel," he said softly, his mouth still pressed against her neck.

"Hmm?"

Fenris pulled back so that he could look at Mabel's face. Her eyes were closed, her thick eyelashes dark against her flushed cheeks, and her lips were slightly parted. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever encountered.

"Please be careful tomorrow," he whispered. "I—I can't lose you."

Mabel's parted lips were too inviting. He tilted his face toward hers, and moved one of his hands to the back of her head. Their faces were so close that their warm breath mingled. Fenris pressed his lips against hers. Mabel sighed, and leaned into the kiss.

Fenris's kiss was slow and lingering, somehow gentle and intense at the same time. By the time he pulled away, Mabel was left breathless. She opened her eyes, and felt like she was melting from the intensity in Fenris's gaze.

Fenris touched Mabel's cheek, then leaned back in, resting his forehead against hers.

"I love you, Mabel," he breathed, the words hot against her skin.

"I love you, too, Fen," she whispered.

He smiled, and kissed her again.

/

 **[Velvet (Instrumental) by Jo Blankenburg]**

As the sun rose above the treetops, a flurry of activity was already underway at the Gravnemeta. Beithe and Wendy were pointing out trees around the edge of the clearing that were okay for Dan and Marcus to chop down and use to build a barricade, to try and keep the demons from escaping into the Mundane. Puck had raised a henge of large standing stones, as one complaint everyone involved in the battle against Nasu had brought forth was that the Gravnemeta was a wide open space—there was no cover.

"Not my best work, but it'll do," said Puck, standing back and surveying the circle of enormous stones.

"What, have you built a henge before?" asked Ford, popping his head up from the hole in the ground that he and Stan were digging for use as a pit trap.

Puck grinned. "My best one is still standing, and it baffles people to this day. Stonehenge."

"Wait, _you_ created Stonehenge?" asked Ford, incredulous.

Stan poked him with the handle of his shovel. "Hey Poindexter, you can dig _and_ listen at the same time, you know."

Ford grumbled, but returned to digging as Puck proudly explained that he'd created Stonehenge as a joke, specifically because he wanted to confuse people.

"And it's still working, even to this day!" he ended, clapping his hands. "Probably the oldest practical joke in existence."

Ford peered back over the top of the hole, like an excited gopher. "Fascinating," he said.

"Ford. Dig," fussed Stan from behind him.

"We got food, dudes!" Soos called out, as he and Melody carried large picnic baskets in from the edge of the clearing.

"Whoop," said Stan as he quickly hoisted himself out of the hole and made a beeline for the picnic baskets.

"I thought you said we had to dig nonstop, Stanley," called Ford, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yeah, well, that was before breakfast got here," said Stanley, his voice muffled by the croissant stuffed in his mouth.

Ford climbed out of the hole and wiped his hands on his pants, before also heading toward the food.

"Where are Fenris and Mabel?" he asked, looking around.

"Aw, they were still in bed," said Soos, as he poured coffee into a styrofoam cup from a thermos, and handed the steaming beverage to Ford. "We figured we'd let the poor kids sleep in. They've had a rough go of it lately."

"Really?" asked Sirona. She had just blipped into the clearing, Cecil draped over her shoulders. "I'm surprised. Knowing how seriously Mabel takes her duty as Protector of the Gravnemeta, I figured she'd have been the first one here this morning."

Melody shrugged and looked pointedly at Sirona. "I guess we just wanted to give them the chance to act like normal teenagers for once."

"Oh..." said Sirona, her eyebrows raised. "Okay."

Stan peered suspiciously at Melody. "Did you just wink?" he asked. "Ford, I think Melody just wunk. Melody, why did you wink?"

Melody blinked at Stan innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Stan frowned at Melody with narrowed eyes, then grabbed a donut from the box she was setting out, and shuffled away, grumbling as he stuffed his face.

A short while later Grenda arrived, and began helping the Stans dig pit traps. Bork had stayed home—he was worried he'd just get under foot.

Around noon Dipper blipped to the clearing with Harold in tow.

"Sorry I'm so late. I had something to take care of… then I had to find Harold here, because he thought he didn't need to wait on me, and got lost trying to find the Gravnemeta."

Harold scowled. "I would have gotten here eventually," he muttered.

Dipper ignored his grandfather-in-law, and surveyed the clearing, whistling. "Impressive," he said, nodding. He made finger guns at Puck. "Nice henge."

Puck bowed with a flourish.

"Where's Mabel and Fenris?" Dipper asked, glancing around the clearing once more.

"We let them sleep in," said Melody, as Stan grumbled in the background.

Fully an hour later, Fenris finally blipped into the Gravnemeta, holding Mabel's hand. When they noticed everyone looking at them, they unclasped their hands and stepped apart, red-faced. Mabel's armor and glaive were tucked under her arm, and she sat them at the base of a tree.

"Good morning, sleepyheads," said Stan. "Nice of you to join us."

"Sorry," said Mabel, looking at her feet. "I, uh, forgot to set an alarm." She took a deep breath and looked up. "What still needs done?"

"Fenris can either help dig pit traps with Grenda and our Grunkles," said Dipper, "or he can help Dan and Marcus set up the barricade. And I think Sirona needed your help."

Fenris looked into the nearby pit, from which Stanley glowered at him, and decided he would best be put to use helping set up the barricade. Mabel made her way toward Sirona.

"Hey there, chickadee," said Sirona brightly. Cecil slithered up to Mabel and flicked his tongue at her, then looked at Sirona, who laughed.

Mabel frowned. "What's funny?"

Sirona waved a hand at her. "Never you mind. Now, I know Arden had been training you in battlefield tactics. I need you to tell me where I should set up the healing springs."

For the next couple hours, Mabel walked the clearing with Sirona, pointing out the best spots to locate the "health stations." That had been Dipper's idea, based on the health kits in certain video games. The springs would be inconspicuous, and would re-energize and heal (at least temporarily) anyone who knelt and splashed the water on their face.

Finally Soos and Melody showed back up with an early dinner, and everyone took a break to eat. They were all proud of their day's work. The Gravnemeta was transformed, and now they would have much more of a tactical advantage in the event of an attack. The pit traps were covered with a glamour of Puck's doing, that looked only slightly different from the surrounding ground. After they ate, Mabel led everyone around the Gravnemeta, pointing out all the traps and health stations.

Fenris noticed the sun beginning to sink lower in the sky, and tried to ignore the feeling of dread that began to gnaw at his insides. Mabel saw him trembling, and took his hand.

"I'm scared," he said low. "I don't want you, or anyone else hurt on account of me."

Mabel led him by the hand to a shadowed area under one of the large stones of the henge. She hugged him tightly, and breathed in his earthy scent.

"We'll be okay, Fen," she said softly. "We are _so_ much more prepared for a fight now, and everyone is pitching in to help. Remember, we're doing this because you are a part of our family now. We love you." She bit her lower lip and smiled at him. " _I_ love you."

Fenris took a deep breath and nodded, then leaned in to press his lips against hers.

"Fenris?" called Beithe, from very nearby. He sprang back from Mabel, and they both attempted to look casual as she walked up to them.

"Sweetie, you need to leave soon," she said, ignoring their flaming cheeks. "And Mabel, you should get your armor on. It'll be sundown soon."

They both nodded, and made their way back to where Mabel had sat down her armor and glaive. Fenris helpd her lace up the various pieces of armor, and then stood back, staring at her in awe.

"You look like a warrior princess," he said, reaching out to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes. He swallowed, and looked at the sky. The sun would sink below the horizon soon. "Do I really have to go?"

Mabel nodded. "We all agreed yesterday—it's safest for you to hole up at the Mystery Shack. Your dad doesn't know you've taken human form yet, and we'd like to avoid him finding out if at all possible."

Someone cleared their throat behind Mabel and Fenris, and they turned, startled to see the entire group watching them.

"Sorry, Fenris, but you need to go now," said Dipper.

Fenris nodded, and attempted a smile. "Thank you all for—" The words caught in his throat.

Dipper grinned. "Bro, we're family. It ain't no thang."

Wendy snorted and elbowed Dipper. "Did you really just?"

Fenris took a deep breath and then suddenly pounced on Mabel, giving her one last tight hug. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.

And then he blipped away—but not to the Mystery Shack. He couldn't bring himself to go so far from the battle, where all his friends were risking their lives on his account. He blipped to about fifty yards from the Gravnemeta, at most.

That way, if Mabel needed him, he'd be close by.

/

 **[Smack My Bitch Up by The Prodigy]**

As the sun finally sank below the horizon, everyone moved to the positions that Mabel had assigned them, based on their fighting ability.

Soos, Melody, and Marcus were all armed with high-tech rocket axes from Ford's arsenal, while Harold gripped the electrified katana. They were positioned right up against the barricade.

Dan, Stan, and Ford were a bit further in, spaced out around the outer ring of the henge. Dan had forgone a rocket axe, preferring to use his own. Stan wielded his giant crossbow, armed with both electrified bolts, and cryo bolts that Ford had created. Ford, of course, had a trench coat full of weaponry at his disposal.

Wendy, Sirona, Cecil, and Grenda were positioned inside the outer ring of the henge. Wendy had her nature magic at her disposal, but she also chose to wield a small throwing axe. Sirona had a slingshot and a basket of sharp pebbles. Cecil had nothing but himself. Grenda held her maul at the ready, excited to try the rocket attachment that Ford had rigged to it on an actual creature. The rocket, when ignited, propelled her swing, making the impact much more forceful. She'd tried it earlier in the day, pounding a watermelon to pulp. It had been very satisfying.

At the inner ring of the henge, surrounding the giant oak itself, were Dipper, Mabel, Beithe, and Puck. The only one armed was Mabel, her wickedly sharp glaive held in one hand, its base planted against the ground. The rest were going to rely on their magic.

The sun was fully down. Minutes ticked by. Everyone was tense, prepared to be attacked at any moment.

Finally, Loki's smarmy baritone echoed throughout the Gravnemeta.

"Aw, did you guys decorate just for moi? I love the henge. Puck's work, right? He always _was_ good with henges."

Everyone's eyes darted around the clearing. Loki's voice seemed to be coming from everywhere. Mabel caught a flash of movement at the edge of her vision, up in the branches of the oak. She coughed to get Dipper, Puck, and Beithe's attention, and discretely pointed up at the branches overhead.

"So where's my boy?" Loki asked. "I know he's been here recently. I can smell him."

"He ran away," said Dipper. "You know how dogs be."

"He's _not_ a dog," spat Loki. "He is Fenrir, the Great Wolf, destroyer of worlds."

"That's funny," said Puck, shrugging. "You almost sound _proud_ of your crotch-spawn. Sorry to say, though—he sure looked like a puppy dog to me. Cute widdle guy."

"How about you show us Arden, before we discuss the puppy any more?" suggested Beithe. "You said you would trade her for him. Where is she?"

Loki's laugh had a hard edge to it. "Nope, that's not how it works, princess. I call the shots here. Now do as I say, and bring me my son."

Mabel scoffed, and looked to her brother. "Why, I do believe he's trying to tell us what to do on _our_ turf."

Dipper shook his head. "The _nerve_ ," he said dramatically.

Puck looked up into the branches of the tree, and met Loki's eyes. "How's about you come on down here, and settle this situation, trickster to trickster." He paused, and glanced at Dipper, before looking back up. "To trickster."

Loki laughed, and dropped gracelessly down onto one of the lower branches of the oak, where he sat and began swinging his legs. He produced a large bucket of popcorn, and shoved a handful in his mouth, before shaking his head.

"Nah. I think I'd rather unleash some ancient evil, and watch as it slaughters the _mortals_ that you were stupid enough to bring here to fight. I mean, really?" He shoved another handful of popcorn in his mouth, chewed it noisily, and swallowed, before nodding his head and smiling.

"Boom." 

A screeching roar split the night, as a tear opened in the air above the henge, and three beasts dropped to the ground, flailing. They looked similar to the demon Mabel had slain only yesterday, with thin, gray skin covering awkward, hyena-like bodies, metallic scaled lizard tails, and gnashing silver teeth—but they were each at least twice the size of Nasu.

Loki grinned like the Cheshire cat, and clapped his hands.

/

 **[G00d Luck (Y0u'R3 833p3d) by Celldweller] [G4M3 0V3R by Celldweller]**

Mabel looked to Dipper. "Are you ready to Rumble?" she shouted over the roaring of the demons. Dipper grinned and nodded. He conjured a hand-held video game, turned it on, and pressed the buttons in a certain order. This is what he'd been busy doing earlier in the day—figuring out how to make Rumble McSkirmish portable, so they could bring him out only where and when they needed him. They needed him here and now.

The 8-bit character appeared, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Rumble, some bad monsters are trying to kill my friends. Will you help us?" Dipper asked.

Rumble frowned, as he continued to bounce. "You lied to me once before. How do I know you are not lying to me now?"

"Look!" cried Dipper, pointing toward the rampaging beasts. Wendy and Beithe were each attempting to wrap one in vines, having to stop and cut them loose whenever the black rot neared their hands. Puck was doing the moonwalk, attempting to lure one of the demons into following him, so that it would fall into one of the pit traps. Harold, Dan and Marcus ran at one of the monsters, screaming and waving their weapons, only to be knocked back. Soos and Melody helped them limp over to a health station. They splashed their faces, then the three of them stood straight, bellowed, and ran back into the fray. Sirona and Stan stood back to back, each attempting to shoot their preferred projectiles down the gaping maws of the demons whenever they roared. Grenda's rocket powered maul had become a bit much for her to handle, and she was screaming at it to stop as it crushed one of the standing stones to dust like a jackhammer. Ford was yelling at her to hit a certain button and turn the rocket off, but she couldn't hear him over the blows of maul against stone.

It was absolute chaos. Manic giggling echoed down from the tree above them.

"They _are_ bad monsters," said Rumble, nodding his head. "I will help you."

"Thank you!" cried Dipper. "My sister will tell you which one to attack, and when—whatever you do, don't hit any of the people fighting. They're the good guys." With that he rushed into the battle, intent on helping Beithe and Wendy.

Rumble turned to Mabel. "What are my orders?"

Mabel pointed out which demon she wanted him to go after, shouting directions to her friends to focus on the others. She climbed up onto one of the standing stones, so she could survey the battlefield, to better direct the fighting.

Fenris heard everything. The roar of the demons as they fell into the Mundane had made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He wanted to be able to see what was happening, but he knew that if he could see into the clearing, there was a good chance that Loki could see him. He had to trust that his friends knew what they were doing.

He heard Mabel calling out orders, and made a mental note to tell her how proud of her he was when this was all over. He also planned to swallow his pride long enough to thank Arden for training Mabel so well. He didn't like the stuck-up goddess, but what she had taught Mabel was keeping Mabel safe.

Fenris grinned. It sounded like the battle was going in their favor. He heard cheering, and knew they had killed at least one of the demons.

Then his heart sank. He heard Mabel screaming. She wasn't shouting orders. She was shrieking in terror, and struggling, by the sound of it. Then the screaming stopped abruptly. Fenris didn't think—he ran back toward the Gravnemeta. He peered out from behind a tree, intent to size up the situation before running onto the battlefield.

One of the demons lay dead, one was being pummeled by a large, strange man made up of brightly-colored blocks, and most of the rest of the group were trying to fight off the third, led by Puck, who was lighting firecrackers and throwing them into its mouth. Dipper, Wendy, and Beithe were ignoring everything. They stood beneath the giant oak, and were staring up into its branches.

"Let her go!" cried Dipper, trying to climb the trunk of the tree. He hit it in frustration. He couldn't climb a tree with hooves.

Wendy and Beithe were snaking vines up the tree toward Loki, who was standing on a branch and smirking, holding Mabel's limp form over his shoulder.

"Ah-ah-ah," Loki chided the goddesses. "You want me to drop your friend, here? Because I will!"

Wendy and Beithe quickly withdrew their vines.

"That's what I thought," said Loki, smugly. Then he turned his face up, and called out loudly. "OH FENRIR!? FENNY-POO? I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! I HAVE SOMEONE I CAN TELL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU—SERIOUSLY, WHAT HAVE YOU TWO BEEN UP TO? YOUR SCENT IS _ALL_ OVER HER! I'M WARNING YOU—IF YOU DON'T COME OUT RIGHT NOW, I _SWEAR_ I WILL GUT HER!"

 **[Destroyer by Audiomachine]**

A bubble of white-hot rage formed in Fenris's stomach. The heat spread throughout his body, like his veins ran with lava. He felt like he was going to spontaneously combust. He heard a strange crackling noise, and realized the grass at his feet was smoldering. He looked down at his trembling hands. They were glowing red from within. Flames suddenly leapt from his fingertips.

"I _am_ destruction," he whispered fiercely. He smiled malevolently up at Loki, and strode boldly from hiding.

The demon that the block man had been fighting had finally destroyed its foe, and saw Fenris walking through the clearing alone—a prime target. It shrieked, and ran at him. Fenris spared the beast a casual glance as he continued toward the oak. He thrust his hand out to the side that the demon was running at him from, and with a flick of his wrist, he effortlessly launched a high-velocity fireball at it, which tore through the beast and exploded. The demon's body parts rained down around him as he continued walking forward.

He glanced in the opposite direction, to his friends struggling to take down the last demon.

"MOVE," he bellowed. His voice was harsh and almost unrecognizable. His friends scattered, and he launched a second fireball, dispatching the last demon with the same ease that he had the first.

Loki peered down, and squinted. He sniffed the air, and his eyebrows flew up in surprise. "Fenrir? I didn't know you could take human form. Hot damn!" He turned his head toward Mabel's limp form on his shoulder. "Then that must mean she's—oh, this is too good," he said, giggling. "Fenny-poo's in loooove," he sang.

Fenris stopped at the base of the oak. The grass under his feet smoldered. Dipper, Wendy, and Beithe all stared at him in shock. They had to take several steps back, due to the waves of heat rolling off of him.

"Let. Her. Go." Fenris said, glaring at his father, his eyes flashing red.

"Okay!" said Loki cheerfully. He shrugged Mabel off his shoulder, and she fell from the oak, her limp body hitting several large branches with sickening thwacks on the way down.

Fenris screamed. He ran for Mabel, but he wasn't close enough to catch her before she hit the ground. Luckily Dipper was quick enough to conjure a large air-filled cushion beneath her. She landed with a thud, her limbs splayed out like a rag doll's.

Something inside Fenris snapped. He leapt for the tree trunk, his now flaming hands and feet burning gouges into the bark as he climbed at impossible speed toward Loki.

"Hey, I only did what you asked," said Loki, chuckling nervously as Fenris pulled himself up onto the branch supporting his father.

Fenris growled low. He crouched down, then launched himself at Loki, grabbing his father by the throat. He could feel the flames from his fingers searing the flesh of Loki's neck. Loki's eyes wild, he grabbed at Fenris's hands, then hissed, as his fingers were scorched. He tried to back away, and his foot slipped. The shift of weight caused both father and son to lose their balance on the branch, and they fell, Fenris still holding fast to Loki's throat.

Fenris hit his head against a branch as he fell, and he felt his grip on Loki's throat loosen. Loki crowed in triumph, and just before Fenris hit the ground, he heard the flap of wings. His father had shape-shifted into a bird. He was going to get away.

 **[Heathens by twenty one pilots]**

The impact stunned Fenris. Then he remembered that Mabel had fallen, too. A surge of heat filled his chest, and he climbed out of the crater he'd caused when he landed, and stumbled over to where Mabel lay, still splayed out on the air cushion. It felt like forever, but barely more than a minute had passed since she fell. His friends were still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

A sob caught in Fenris's throat. He wanted to pick Mabel up and cradle her to his chest, but he didn't know how to "turn off" his newfound power. If he touched her, he'd surely burn her. Once again he was staring down at her pale, bloodied form, unable to do anything for her.

"Somebody _help her_!" he screamed, his voice raw.

It was like a spell was broken and everyone snapped out of their daze at once. Ford and Sirona rushed forward to Mabel, skirting a wide path around the sweltering pocket of air that enveloped Fenris. Everyone's voices sounded muffled and distorted to him, like they were under water. He was able to make out Sirona yelling at someone sharply: "No, don't move her! Her neck might be broken!"

Fenris closed his eyes, and clenched his fists. He bit his lower lip until it bled, and tried to slow his panicked breathing. Mabel had to be okay. He loved her. She loved him. She _had_ to be okay.

Fenris's eyes flew back open as he heard wings flapping overhead, and the faint rustle of leaves as a bird landed at the top of the giant oak. He stared up at the large, black bird, who confirmed his suspicions by cocking its head to the side and cawing loudly.

White-hot hatred flared behind Fenris's eyes, and he aimed a fireball at the bird. The bird dodged the flames, and cackled as it flew away.

Fenris glared after Loki. His father was going to pay.

/

 **Hello! It feels good to finally get back into this fic! I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Hopefully you won't have to wait nearly as long for the next chapter!**

 **Thank you for reading this far with me, and for all your follows, favorites, and reviews. They really mean the world to me. :)**

 **Until next time,**

 **Geeky**


	27. Worlds Collide, Chapter Nine

**Worlds Collide**

 **Chapter Nine**

Fenris didn't remember leaving the Gravnemeta. In fact, he didn't remember most of the night. All he knew was that he was in the middle of the woods, it was dawn, he hadn't slept, Mabel was hurt, and it was his fault.

He trudged slowly through the underbrush, snapping twigs and crushing dried pine needles to dust under his feet. He was no longer throwing off heat and spontaneously bursting into flame, but he wasn't sure that he'd actually "turned off" that power himself. It seemed to have slowly worn off on its own throughout the night. He could probably head back toward the Gravnemeta now that he knew he wouldn't accidentally set any of his friends on fire—but he was scared to.

Before Sirona had blipped Mabel back to Puck's house, she'd been talking about the possibility that Mabel's neck was broken, as well as the potential her head injuries had for causing brain damage, or a brain bleed, or—

Fenris shook his head violently, and a sob escaped his throat. He sank down onto a fallen log, and held his head in his hands, clutching at his mess of thick, black hair with shaking fingers. Then, the obvious struck him, and he smacked himself in the forehead. He didn't want to get on his sister's nerves by asking for another huge favor like when she gave Dipper a do-over, but this was Mabel. He loved her—and she had a knack for getting seriously injured. Fenris hoped Hel would understand why he'd want her to watch out for Mabel's soul, in case the unthinkable happened.

 _Hel… Hel, are you there?_

He hadn't tried to mindspeak to his sister since taking human form. He wasn't sure if it would work the same. Since taking human form, he was no longer able to communicate telepathically with other gods. However, he hoped it would be different with his sister. After all, she had been able to mindspeak with him, when she also took human form...in a manner of speaking.

 _Hel, please—if you can hear me, I need to know. I really need to talk to you._

Fenris waited for her familiar smooth voice to coat the ragged edges of his mind like a balm, but she didn't answer. He couldn't be sure, however, if she truly didn't hear him, or if she wasn't able to respond for some reason.

Fenris's shoulders sagged as he sighed, and wiped a tear absently from his cheek.

"Excuse me, are you lost?"

Fenris leapt to his feet and spun around, looking for the source of the voice. His heartbeat thundered in his ears. He had thought he was alone.

"I apologize for startling you, my friend," said the voice. "However, my appearance itself is startling to many, which is why I am hiding."

There was no malice in soft, slightly gruff voice. Fenris took a deep breath, and unclenched his fists.

"You can show yourself. I'm used to weird. My sister is one-half beautiful lady, one-half rotted corpse." Fenris paused, then added for clarification, "She's a goddess of death, so the corpse thing isn't just random..."

"Ah, so you are a god," the voice said. There was the sound of a large form pushing through the undergrowth, and a grizzly bear's head emerged. And another. And another. And so on.

Fenris blinked in surprise. "You must be the Multibear that Dipper speaks so highly of."

The Multibear nodded most of its heads. "I know Dipper and Puck, but I am not familiar with you."

"I'm Fenris. Well, Fenrir. Norse. Great Wolf. Destroyer, world-eater, blah, blah, blah," Fenris said, flapping a hand.

The Multibear stood on its haunches and raised quite a few eyebrows in surprise. "You don't appear to be a wolf. And you seem much less vicious than I would expect someone prophesied to destroy the world would be."

Fenris shrugged. "I'm not a fan of that prophecy. And I took human form to help protect..." Fenris felt his throat close around the words, and his eyes threatened to water over.

"Are you okay?" asked the Multibear, hesitantly.

Fenris nodded, then chuckled wetly, and looked down, shaking his head. "The person I took human form to protect—I keep getting them hurt instead. Now my dad (who is, as a rule, unstable and somewhat homicidal) knows who this person is, and how important they are to me. Unless I do what my dad wants, this person is going to be in constant danger."

"That's certainly a conundrum," said the Multibear thoughtfully. "What exactly does your dad want with you?"

Fenris smiled at the Multibear's largest head wryly. "You know that whole 'destroy the world' prophecy that I'm not so fond of? Well, he is fond of it. I'm fairly certain he wants me start doing what I'm 'meant to do.'"

"Oh, dear," murmured the Multibear. "So you think he will go after the person you're trying to protect until you do what he wants?"

Fenris crossed his arms over his chest. "I know he will. He's not the kind of guy you can talk sense into."

"What if you were able to convince him that this person is no longer important to you?" suggested the Multibear.

"I don't know how I'd do that," replied Fenris. "Other than leaving here. But I can't leave. I can't abandon my friends."

"It seems to me that you may have no other choice," said the Multibear softly. "If your protection is making this person a target, you need to stop protecting them."

Fenris frowned and opened his mouth to reply, then snapped it closed. The Multibear was right. All he was doing was making Mabel a target. He had to leave her.

Embers of rage began to form in Fenris's chest. He would leave Mabel. He had to. Until he was able to kill his father.

"Excuse me," said the Multibear quietly, "but you appear to be… smoldering?"

"Thanks for the talk," Fenris said, through gritted teeth. "I have to go now."

He tried to remain calm, and not burst into flame, as he made his way back toward Puck's house. He wanted to at least kiss Mabel goodbye.

/

Early morning light filtering in through the window woke Mabel up.

"What?" she muttered, sitting up with a splash. She looked at her surroundings and realized she was naked in Sirona's healing spring. Again. She didn't feel nearly as bad this time as she had when she'd woken up in the spring previously, so that was a plus. She honestly wasn't even sure why she had been placed in the spring at all.

A soft hiss to her left alerted Mabel to the presence of Cecil. The albino boa constrictor flicked its tongue at her.

"Yeah, well, nobody asked you, did they," said Mabel, sticking her tongue out back at him. She stood slowly, and stepped, dripping, onto the mossy banks of the indoor spring. She still felt fine. No aches or twinges. She shrugged, and padded softly over to the dresser against the wall, grabbed a terrycloth bathrobe from the top drawer, and wrapped it around herself. She stepped toward the door, then hopped back quickly as it opened.

"Mabel Pines, sit your butt down, missy," chided Sirona as she bustled in. She pointed to a stone bench next to the spring, and Mabel sat. "Cecil only just told me you woke up. I need to examine you before you go galavanting around."

Mabel laughed. "I wasn't planning on 'galavanting,' whatever that means. But I feel fine."

"I'll be the judge of that," muttered Sirona. She quickly examined her charge, moving Mabel's limbs, and running her hands over Mabel's scalp.

Finally Sirona stood back, and crossed her arms. "You're lucky. You only had a few bumps to the head, and a greenstick fracture of your tibia which mended in about two seconds after we got you in my spring here. Do you remember what happened?"

Mabel made a face. "Loki happened. He attacked me from behind, and when I struggled, he bopped me on the noggin. I guess he knocked me out. Is everyone else okay? Are all the demons dead? Did Loki get his ass handed to him?"

Sirona nodded. "You were the only one seriously injured, thanks to Fenris showing up when he did. The way he took out those demons—yeesh. Glad he was on our side. He looked like a demon himself."

"Wait, what? Fen was there?" cried Mabel, jumping to her feet. "He was supposed to stay at the Shack, where it was safe! Is he okay?"

Sirona pursed her lips. "He's uninjured. I'm not sure about okay, though. He was really shaken up by seeing you hurt."

"Do you know where he is? I need to—wait a second." Mabel cut herself off. "You just said Fenris 'took out those demons.' Do you mean _by himself_?"

Sirona nodded. "I guess he isn't known as the Destroyer of Worlds for nothing. I'm not sure where he is, though. I haven't seen him since I blipped you here."

"Where is everyone else?" asked Mabel.

"Most went home after I assured them that you weren't as severely injured as I originally feared. I think Dipper, Wendy, and Beithe were going to stick around the Gravnemeta to keep an eye on things," answered Sirona. "As for you, I want to keep an eye on _you_ for a couple hours. Then I can blip you home. I'll still want you to take a couple more days off Gravnemeta duty, though, just to be safe. You may be resilient, but you _are_ mortal."

Mabel rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh, but nodded. "Fine, _mom_."

Sirona grinned and chucked Mabel under the chin. "That's my girl. Now how 'bout you change back into your clothes (don't make that face, I _washed_ them) and I'll fix us some breakfast?"

/

Dipper leaned against the inner circle of the henge, and stared at the blackened gouges going up the trunk of the giant oak.

"I still can't believe Fenris did that," he remarked.

"I told you he was a vicious beast," piped up the former Green Man, from the edge of the clearing.

"Shut up Harold," called out Wendy. "Nobody cares what you think." She and Beithe were gathering the remains of the demons Fenris had obliterated, to bury them in one of the pit traps.

"Wendy, be nice," said Beithe half-heartedly. She kicked a chunk of blackened entrails into the pit with a grimace. "That Fenris, though—he sure is full of surprises. You didn't know he could do the whole 'Firestarter' act, did you Dipper?"

Dipper reached down and picked up part of a partially melted metallic demon skull. He held it away from his body as he carried it to the pit.

"Did I know he could do _this_? Uh, no. No I did not. I'm pretty sure he didn't either, or the first fight, with Nasu, would have been over in about two seconds." Dipper made a face as he tossed the bit of skull into the pit.

"He is unstable," said Harold. He strode to the edge of the pit and stared down at the blackened, melted, utterly destroyed remains of the two demons Fenris had dispatched. He looked up across the pit to Beithe and Wendy. "He was never meant to take human form. He does not know what he is capable of, or how to control his powers. I watched him as he left the Gravnemeta last night. He was still smoldering. He left a trail of burnt grass and scorched dirt in his wake."

"Look, I appreciate your need for drama, Gramps, but lay off Fenris, okay?" said Wendy, scowling. "We discussed this at the meeting yesterday. He's one of us. He's a good guy. The only reason he went Super Saiyan is because his dad threatened to kill Mabel."

"All the same, isn't it his affection for dear Mabel that put her in danger to begin with?" remarked Harold blandly. "Loki said he could smell his son 'all over her.' Whatever _that_ means."

Dipper clenched his fists and turned to the former god standing next to him. "What exactly are you implying about my _thirteen-year-old sister_?"

Harold raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not _implying_ anything. Loki said Mabel stunk of Fenris. They have obviously been...close. But what your sister does with that mongrel is none of _my_ concern."

" _What_ _the f_ _—_ " began Dipper, stepping toward Harold. He was cut off by Beithe, however, who trotted around the pit and grabbed her father's arm, yanking him away from the incensed trickster.

"Oookay, Dad, looks like it's time for me to blip you back to your campsite, before you get yourself kicked in the acorns," she said quickly. Without giving Harold had a chance to protest, she nodded to Dipper and Wendy, and father and daughter disappeared with a soft pop.

Wendy crossed to Dipper's side of the pit and pulled him into a tight hug. He was so angry he was shaking.

"Hey, dude, it's okay," she said, rubbing his back gently. "Don't listen to Harold. He's a douche. Mabel and Fenris cuddle in bed at night. They have since before he turned human. Of course she's going to smell like him. That doesn't mean—well, you know."

"I hope that's all," muttered Dipper. "I've trusted Fen. If he took advantage of Mabel..." Dipper trailed off. He didn't want to consider it.

"Speaking of taking advantage of," murmured Wendy, pulling back from Dipper slightly, and smiling at him mischievously. "You and Mabel are twins. You're thirteen as well."

Dipper huffed. "Our situation is different. I'm physically seventeen now, with the body and motherfucking libido of a satyr. And besides, we haven't been able to…" His cheeks flushed. "How's that birth-control spell coming, anyway?"

Wendy smirked. Her attempt to distract Dipper from his anger had worked perfectly.

"Oh, I'm still working on it," Wendy said casually. She pulled him away from the pit of gruesome demon remains, and pushed him against one of the standing stones of the henge. She pressed herself close against him, twining her fingers through his mop of brown curls. "Your hair is getting long," she said, as she laid her head on his shoulder. Her breath was warm on his neck.

"H-how much longer do you think," stammered Dipper. "Not-not my hair—but until we can..."

Wendy lifted her head and looked at Dipper, biting her lower lip. They hadn't really had any time to themselves in the past week, and she had forgotten how quickly her hormones ran away with her whenever she and Dipper got frisky.

"I honestly don't know," she said. Her mouth was so close to his that her lips brushed lightly against his when she spoke. "But I've been practicing every day. I promise, when I'm sure I've mastered the spell, you'll be the first to know."

Dipper grunted softly and pulled Wendy tightly against him, kissing her hungrily. He could feel her smiling as she kissed him back.

/

Mabel lounged on a beach towel in Puck's backyard, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her cheeks. Cecil lay curled up on the paving stones next to her, sunning himself as well. The weather was unusually mild for February. It was probably some nonsense to do with climate change, but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment.

Mabel sighed contentedly, her hands clasped behind her head. She had nearly dozed off, when the sharp snap of a twig being stepped on startled her into sitting up. Fenris stood a few feet from her. His clothes were scorched in places, and a bit of soot and dried blood was smeared across his cheeks. His normally pale skin was nearly translucent, and vivid, dark purple circles stood out under his eyes. He was staring at Mabel with a sad smile.

"Fen!" she cried, leaping to her feet. He quickly closed the distance between them, and threw his arms around Mabel, burying his face in her shoulder.

"You're okay," he said, his voice muffled against her sweater. "I didn't know if—Sirona said you might—but you're okay."

Mabel's shoulder was getting wet. "I'm fine, Fenris. Are _you_ okay?" she asked, pulling back so she could see his face. His irises were the dark gray color of the sky before a thunderstorm, and tears were leaving damp tracks through the blood and soot on his cheeks.

Fenris took a shuddering breath. "My dad almost killed you, Mabel," he said softly, touching her face. "And it was my fault."

Mabel frowned. She sat back down on the beach towel, and patted the spot next to her. Fenris sank down stiffly, his knees cracking. Mabel glanced at Cecil, who hadn't moved. She poked him with a finger.

"Hey, Cease, think you can give us a little privacy?"

The snake lifted his head, and looked at Fenris. He let out a slow hiss, like he was sighing, then flicked his tongue at Mabel, before slithering off toward the other end of the yard.

"Thank you!" called Mabel. She turned back to Fenris, and her grin faded. "So Sirona wouldn't go into detail about everything that happened, but she said _you_ took out the last two demons by yourself last night? Care to, uh, tell me about that?"

Fenris looked down. "I know I was supposed to go back to the Mystery Shack, but I was worried about you. About everyone. I wanted to be nearby in case I was needed. And I'm glad I stayed… how much do you remember after Loki attacked you?"

Mabel twisted her hands in her lap. "Not much. I tried to fight against him, but he knocked me out pretty quickly."

Fenris nodded. "Well, the reason he targeted you, Mabel, is apparently because he could smell me on you. It probably didn't help that we had spent all the night before and half that day in each other's arms. And… kissing," he added, his cheeks flushed. "Because you smelled so strongly of me, he came to the conclusion that I must be in love with you."

Fenris chuckled softly, and reached out to take one of Mabel's hands in his. "I mean, he's not wrong. But he carried you over his shoulder, up into the branches of the giant oak. He called out that if I didn't come forward, he was going t-to 'gut' you." He squeezed Mabel's hand tightly, and continued. "Loki isn't one to make idle threats, Mabel. If I had gone back to the Mystery Shack like we planned, I wouldn't have heard him, and he—he would have killed you."

Mabel swallowed hard. "Oh. Well, I'm definitely not mad at you for not following the plan, then. So, you came forward. Is that when you killed the demons? How did you manage that? It took _five_ of us to be able to take down Nasu, and these ones were bigger!"

Fenris shifted uncomfortably, and scratched the back of his head. "When my dad threatened to kill you, I became more angry than I think I've ever been. I didn't even do it on purpose, but I kind of...caught fire? Apparently, in human form, I can throw fireballs. Explodey ones. One fireball each was all it took to end the demons."

Mabel leaned back and whistled. "Now that will be a useful skill to have guarding the Gravnemeta," she said, nodding.

Fenris met Mabel's eyes, then shook his head and looked away, his features pinched. "Mabel, my dad was going to kill you. He actually tried. After I came out of hiding and killed the demons—that's when Loki realized I'd taken human form, and that you were my human lover. I yelled at him to let you go." Fenris clenched his jaw before continuing. "I should have remembered to watch my wording with him. He did let you go. He dropped you. From the top of the giant oak. If Dipper hadn't thought quickly enough to conjure a big, inflated cushion thing under you, you'd be—Mabel, I almost got you killed."

Fenris gritted his teeth and tried not to cry. Mabel was quiet for a moment, then scooted closer to him, and placed a hand on his thigh.

"Fen, it sounds like he had planned to drop me anyway," she said quietly. "He's a nasty piece of work. It's not your fault he tried to kill me. And anyway, he didn't succeed. You're feeling guilty over nothing."

Fenris scooted away from Mabel, and drew his knees up to his chest, resting his forehead on them, his face obscured from view.

"You don't get it, Mabel," he said, his throat tight. "He targeted you because he smelled me on you. He knows I love you. Loki will do anything to get his way. He wants me to join him in destroying the world, and he'll go after the people I love until I do. He's got you in his cross-hairs."

"Oh," said Mabel, her voice small. "But you took out those two demons easy-peasy… so if you're here with me—"

Fenris banged his forehead lightly against his knees. "I don't know how to control that new power, though. And it's dangerous. It took all night for me to stop accidentally setting fire to nearby foliage. After you got hurt, I couldn't touch you to help you, because I would have burned you." He sniffled. "Besides, Loki wouldn't care that I was nearby to protect you. In fact, he'd probably think it was fun to torment me by attacking you in front of me."

Mabel and Fenris sat in silence for several minutes, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally Mabel spoke.

"So what does this mean? What are your options?"

Fenris swallowed and lifted his head to meet Mabel's gaze. "I have to leave. I can't stay in Gravity Falls. I can't even stay in this realm. Loki needs to think that you're no longer important to me."

/

The back door to Puck's house flew open, banging loudly against the wall. Fenris and Mabel, who had been sitting on a beach towel, holding each other, flew apart and jumped to their feet, startled. Puck strode toward them, his hands on his hips, and his brow between his ram horns creased in worry. Sirona followed closely behind him, her arms folded over her chest, the smile absent from her normally cheerful face.

"What's wrong?" asked Mabel, her heart dropping. "Is the Gravnemeta under attack again?"

Puck shook his head in the negative, and looked to Sirona. As she stepped forward, Cecil slithered up to her. She picked the heavy snake up effortlessly, and draped him over her shoulders. She rubbed his head, and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm sorry, Mabel… I don't know any easier way to say this: Arden is dead."

"Wh-what?" Mabel blanched, and staggered as if she'd been punched. Fenris wrapped his arm around her waist, and she leaned against him to steady herself.

"My contacts found where Loki had been keeping her," Puck said sourly. "Apparently she'd been dead for awhile. As in, that bastard most likely killed her immediately after delivering his ultimatum two days ago. He never intended to trade her for you, Fenris."

Tears spilled down Mabel's cheeks, and her chin trembled as she spoke. "Why would he do that, though? I don't understand!"

Puck, raised an eyebrow at her. "What's to understand, kid? He's fucking batshit crazy."

Sirona smacked Puck on the arm. "Seriously? Be nice, ass. We just told her that her friend and mentor is dead."

"So… does this mean that the Green Realm will go to war with the Norse Realm?" asked Fenris quietly.

Puck shrugged. "That's up to Antlers McGee. She was his sister, and he's kind of in charge now. He's been told, but he said he needs more information before making a decision regarding war with another realm."

Fenris frowned. "What kind of 'information' does he need?"

"I need to know where my sister's soul is being held," said Cernunnos. He had quietly blipped in, and was standing behind Mabel and Fenris. Startled, they spun around to face him. He glowered at Fenris, making no attempt to hide his dislike for the Norse god of destruction.

"She is not in Annwn, or any of the lesser Celtic, Gaulish, or Pictish dead realms, as she should be," the Lord of the Hunt continued. "Arawn has personally checked them all for me."

Fenris met Cernunnos's glare stoically. "So you think she's in one of the Norse dead realms?"

Cernunnos nodded. "As you claim to be on 'our side,' I require you to accompany me to Helheim. Arawn has told me of his difficulties dealing with Hel in the past. As her brother, I am hoping you can gain her cooperation. If Arden's soul is not in Helheim, Hel may be at least able to help us locate it. And if her soul _is_ in Helheim, I want to know _why_."

Fenris glanced at Mabel, before sighing and nodding. He had wanted to speak to Hel anyway. "Fine. When do you want to go?"

Cernunnos reached forward, and grasped Fenris's shoulder. "Right now," he said.

With a soft pop, Fenris and Cernunnos disappeared.

In shock, and suddenly unbalanced, since she had been leaning on Fenris, Mabel clumsily fell to the side. Sirona darted forward and caught her before she could hit the ground.

Mabel clung to the goddess, and sobbed.

/

 **Oh hai, I'm back, again! Sorry for the lack of Wendip in recent chapters, but hopefully there will be some quality Wendip next chapter. Should I add a suggestive eyebrow waggle here? Yes?**

 *** waggle waggle ***

 **I didn't really do a playlist for this chapter, but two of the songs I listened to a ton on repeat while writing it were "Time Stops" and "Remember Me As A Time Of Day" by Explosions in the Sky. Really, anything by them is fabulous. They are my go -to writing music most of the time.**

 **Anyway, thanks for all your follows, favorites, and especially your reviews. You guys are awesome.**

 **Rainbows and glitter,**

 **Geeky**


	28. Worlds Collide, Chapter Ten

**Worlds Collide**

 **Chapter Ten**

Mabel sat at the kitchen table in the Mystery Shack, a steaming mug of hot cocoa rapidly cooling in front of her. Wendy and Dipper sat across from her, exchanging worried looks. Dipper had seen his sister upset before, but she was usually melodramatic about it, retreating into "Sweater Town," or crying loudly. Basically, Mabel wore her emotions on her sleeve.

Dipper had never seen her like this, however. Her skin was pale, tinged with gray. Her hair hung limply around her face, her lips were pinched together in a thin line, and her eyes looked dull and lifeless. The spark of mischief that normally burned behind them was gone. This girl was a husk of Mabel Pines.

"So Cernunnos didn't even give you a chance to say goodbye?" asked Dipper, picking up a thread of their earlier conversation. "He just grabbed Fenris and blipped off?"

Mabel didn't look up. She simply nodded her head.

"Maybe they'll be back soon," suggested Wendy, trying to sound cheerful. "It can't take too long to blip to Helheim and ask about Arden, right? I bet he'll be back before you know it!"

Mabel didn't respond to Wendy. She hadn't told them about Fenris's plan to protect her by leaving the Mundane entirely. It hurt too much to say the words out loud. She was fairly certain that he wouldn't be back.

"I know it's still early, but I was injured and all, so I'm tired," said Mabel finally, without making eye contact with her brother or Wendy. "I'm going to bed now."

Dipper elbowed Wendy, and she stood up from her chair at the same time as Mabel. "How about we have a sleepover, Mabel?" she said, sounding too peppy to be convincing.

Mabel finally looked up and locked eyes with Wendy. "No, thank you," she said quietly. "I'm not in the mood for company right now."

Mabel turned her back on Dipper and Wendy, and slowly made her way out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom. They heard her door open, then shut with a decisive click.

/

Dipper and Wendy strode through the twilit woods at a leisurely pace. They held hands, their fingers intertwined tightly.

"I know she's upset about losing Arden, and that Fenris was yanked away so suddenly, but I have _never_ seen Mabel this..." Dipper wracked his brain to find the right word. "This _dejected_. It's like she's just completely given up. She wasn't even crying. She's a crier, Wendy. I'd actually feel less unsettled about her if she ran up to her room sobbing uncontrollably. I know how to handle that Mabel. I have no idea how to help her now."

Wendy squeezed his fingers. "I don't know, dude. I know that you want to make everything better for her as quick as possible, being her brother and all—but she's dealing with a lot of heavy shit right now. She probably needs time to process everything."

Dipper sighed. "You're probably right. I just hate seeing her like this. Do you think maybe it would help if we got your mom to talk to her? Beithe and Arden used to be really close, right?"

Wendy nodded. "Yeah. That's a good idea. I'll ask my mom tonight."

The couple continued through the woods in amicable silence. Twilight fell into dusk, and soon they were engulfed in darkness.

Wendy felt a tug at her hand, and realized that Dipper had stopped walking. She dropped his hand and turned back to his shadowed silhouette.

"What's up, Dip?"

Dipper was silent for a moment, and then let out a shaky breath. "I just… I'm really overwhelmed, I guess. Like—is anything ever going to be okay again? Is being a god ever going to feel normal? One day I'll look at Mabel and realize she's a woman, not a girl anymore. And she'll keep aging. And she'll die. And I'll be apart from her forever after." His throat closed around the words, and tears began to slip down his cheeks.

Wendy reached out and touched his face, wiping his tears away with her thumb.

"I'm sorry, Dipper," she said softly. "Maybe we can convince an elder god to make her a goddess? I mean, you're technically an elder god, so you could even do it, right?"

Dipper sniffed and shook his head. He stepped toward Wendy and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm not nearly ready to do that big of a working," he said. "I can't even make myself look human yet. Besides, to become a goddess, she'd have to consent. She hasn't seemed too keen on becoming immortal."

"Well, we'll have to find a god willing to turn her, and then convince her to accept," said Wendy pragmatically, rubbing his back. "Everything will be okay, Dipper. I promise."

Dipper nestled his face into the crook of Wendy's neck, and whispered "Don't make promises you can't keep."

Wendy inhaled sharply. Whether he meant to or not, Dipper's warm breath on her neck was sending waves of pleasure down her spine. She bit her lip, and closed her eyes, reaching up to run her fingers through Dipper's tangle of curls.

"You want a promise I can keep?" murmured Wendy. "I love you, goat boy, and I promise that I will keep loving you until the end of time."

"I like that promise," Dipper said quietly. He placed a gentle kiss on her neck, and could feel her pulse pounding beneath his lips. Despite being upset about Mabel, Dipper's satyr libido took over, and he pushed Wendy up against a nearby tree, and pressed himself against her.

"I promise that I'll always think of your pleasure before my own," he mumbled hotly against her mouth.

"Oh yeah?" said Wendy playfully. "Prove it."

Dipper groaned and began sucking and lightly biting at Wendy's neck. His hands traced the outline of her body, stopping at her hips. He fumbled momentarily with the button and zipper on her jeans, before sliding his hand down the front of her panties.

"Wh-what are you doing?" breathed Wendy. One of her hands was above her head, clutching at the tree trunk, while the other gripped Dipper's hair tightly.

Dipper pulled away from her neck, and although Wendy couldn't see him smiling wickedly at her in the darkness, she could hear it in his voice. "I'm proving it," he said, before pressing his mouth into hers, and kissing her fiercely, cutting off her whimpers of pleasure.

Muffled moans echoed through the dark woods, finally punctuated by a shrill cry of ecstasy.

/

Although Fenris had mind-spoken with Hel many times, he'd never been down to Helheim to visit her. He followed Cernunnos silently through a cold mist, sniffing with curiosity. The sickly sweet smell of rotting things seemed to permeate the air.

Cernunnos turned his head slightly when he heard Fenris sniff. "You're not _crying_ are you?" he asked with a sneer.

"Not at the moment," said Fenris with a shrug. Cernunnos clearly didn't like him, but Fenris couldn't give two shits about what the antlered god thought of him.

They fell back into silence, and Fenris continued to follow a few steps behind Cernunnos, who seemed to know exactly where he was going, even though the mist shrouded everything.

After an hour trudging through the opaque fog, Fenris spoke up. "Your blip wasn't very accurate, was it?"

Cernunnos shrugged, and kept walking. "Seeing as I've never been to Helheim before, it wasn't too bad."

"If you've never been here before, how do you know where you're going, then?"

"I'm homing in on the most powerful godly presence nearby," said Cernunnos, his tone snide. "What, do you not know how to do that?"

Fenris rolled his eyes, and grunted noncommittally. He actually _didn't_ know how to do that, but he didn't want to give Cernunnos the satisfaction of that knowledge.

After several more minutes of walking, Fenris noticed light faintly shining through the shimmering white mist. Cernunnos noticed as well, and stopped walking. He turned to Fenris and gestured for the Norse god to step in front of him.

"Just in case she's in the mood to smite," explained Cernunnos. "I'm hoping the sight of her brother will stop any smiting from taking place. If not, at least you'll take the brunt of the smiting rather than me."

"Great," said Fenris. "I get to be your bodyguard." He pushed past Cernunnos, and continued walking toward the lights.

The closer they got to the lights, the more the mist seemed to dissipate. Finally Fenris was able to see the outline of a building. He narrowed his eyes as he walked toward it, a single eyebrow rising in confusion.

"That's a... cute little house," he said, mostly to himself. The small, pink cottage was surrounded by a white picket fence, and its window boxes were full of colorful, blooming flowers. Fenris turned to Cernunnos. "Hel lives here?"

Cernunnos wore a bemused smile. He held his palms up and shrugged. "Arawn told me she lived in a very human habitat, but I honestly didn't expect this."

"Huh," said Fenris, turning back toward the house. He caught a glimpse of movement through one of the windows. "I think she knows we're here."

As if on cue, the front door of the cottage flew open. Hel drew herself up to her full height, the beautiful side of her face giving the trespassers an icy glare. The decayed side of her face sagged, its expression inscrutable, if it was even making one. It simply looked grotesque. Fenris had never met Hel face to face. She had explained her appearance to him during one of their many conversations, but hearing about, and seeing it, were two drastically different experiences.

"Who are you?" Hel demanded.

"I am Cernunnos, of the Green Realm," said the Lord of the Hunt, pushing past Fenris, seemingly satisfied that there would be no immediate smiting.

"I _know_ who you are," said Hel, with a frown. "I've been expecting you. But this one," she said, pointing a bony, decayed finger at Fenris. "I do not recognize him, yet he is very familiar."

"Hello, sister," said Fenris, with an awkward wave. "I'm probably a lot less furry than you pictured me."

Hel leaned forward and peered closely at Fenris with her good eye.

"Fen? I know you've been in the Mundane realm, but I wasn't told you'd taken human form! That explains why I haven't been able to get in touch with you." Hel turned and called over her shoulder. "You said he was in puppy form!"

A familiar female voice called back from inside the cottage. "Well last time I saw him, he _was_ in puppy form!"

"Arduinna!" cried out Cernunnos, his smarmy public persona forgotten the moment he heard his sister's voice. "Please, let her go! Allow her to rest in Annwn where she belongs!"

"I have no intention of keeping her from the rest she deserves," snapped Hel. " _She_ sought _me_ out. Come into my home. We have much to discuss."

/

Mabel sat on the edge of her bed, staring into space. The room steadily grew darker, because she hadn't bothered to turn on the light. She barely noticed. She had cried herself out on Sirona's shoulder earlier in the day. Now she was numb. Well, nearly. Every now and then the thought that Arden was dead, or that she may never see Fenris again resurfaced, and she felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her—she became lightheaded and struggled to breathe.

It hurt too much to think about, so Mabel tried to empty her mind. Eventually her eyelids began to grow heavy, and she lay down. She instinctively reached out to pull Fenris close to her, and her hands clutched at air.

Mabel gasped as if she had been punched, clenched her eyes tightly shut, and pressed her fist against her mouth, trying to suppress a wail. She attempted to swallow back the lump in her throat.

"I can't do this," she whispered to no one. She got off her bed and turned on the light so she could see to put her armor on. She decided that she would take her glaive out to the Gravnemeta and practice the drills that Arden had taught her. Emptying her mind didn't work, so maybe having to completely focus on something would distract her from the hollow feeling in her chest.

Mabel finished donning her armor and grabbed her glaive from the corner of her room. She padded quietly down the stairs, not wanting Soos or Melody to notice she was going out, and start asking annoying questions like: "Are you okay?"

Because no. She wasn't okay. And she didn't want to talk about it.

She trotted through the darkened woods, following the familiar path to the Gravnemeta without having to think about it. At one point she paused, because she heard what sounded like a woman crying out. However, it didn't happen again. Mabel shrugged, and continued on her way. It was probably a mountain lion. Mountain lions made weird noises at night.

When she reached the Gravnemeta, she was momentarily surprised to see her Grunkles there, sitting in lawn chairs around a small fire. In her grief over Arden and Fenris, she had forgotten that the Gravnemeta still needed to be guarded constantly, and that it was Stan and Ford's turn for the night shift.

"Oh," she said, stopping short at the edge of the clearing. "Hi."

"Hey kiddo. Whatcha doing out here?" asked Stan. His gruff voice was unusually gentle.

"Yeah, I thought Sirona said you needed to take a couple days off from guard duty," said Ford, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm fine," mumbled Mabel. "And I'm not here to guard. I just wanted to get some practice in. I don't want to get rusty."

Stan and Ford exchanged glances, but Mabel couldn't read their faces in the flickering glow of the fire.

"Okay, just take it easy, sweetie," said Stan.

Mabel nodded, and moved to an open area of the clearing. She began her practice drills, willing herself to concentrate on her technique and form, and not let her mind wander.

Stan and Ford watched her from their lawn chairs, matching expressions of concern creasing their brows.

"She's really taking Arden's death hard," observed Ford.

"I feel like we should… comfort her?" said Stan. "Only, maybe not while she's spinning around that giant pig-sticker."

"Well," said Ford, grunting as he leaned over and grabbed a Pitt Cola from the cooler between their chairs, "I never got to know Mabel quite as well as you did… but isn't she pretty free with sharing her emotions? I think if she wanted a shoulder to cry on, she'd let us know."

Stan sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "You're probably right, Poindexter. At least, I hope you're right. Mabel's a sweet kid, and she's had a rough go of it lately."

Ford nodded as he swallowed a sip of his drink. "That, she has," he agreed.

They sat in silence, and watched on as their great-niece took out her pent up emotions on invisible enemies. At some point they both accidentally nodded off.

Eventually, Stan let out a snore so loud that he woke himself up. He turned to see Ford sitting with his head sagging onto his shoulder, a strand of drool dripping from his open mouth. He kicked Ford in the shin. Ford awoke with a start, and jumped out of his chair, quickly pulling a large caliber pistol from inside of his trench coat.

"Who's attacking?" he hissed.

"No one, dingus," muttered Stan. "We both fell asleep, it's almost dawn, and Mabel's still over there swingin' around that pig-sticker. How's she still going?"

"I have no idea," said Ford, sounding simultaneously impressed and worried, as he tucked the gun back into his coat.

Stan stood stiffly, and shuffled toward Mabel. He stopped well out of range of her glaive.

"Uh, Mabel?" he called out hesitantly.

Hearing her name seemed to snap Mabel out of a trance. She whirled around to face Stan. She was tomato red, and completely covered in a slimy sheen of sweat, strands of her long hair sticking to her face. She blinked, as if confused to see her Grunkle standing before her. Then she wobbled on her feet.

"Talk later, Grunkle Stan," she said, her speech slightly slurred. "I'm tired."

As the first hint of dawn began to lighten the sky, Mabel sank to the ground, completely physically exhausted, and curled up to sleep on the dewy grass, clutching her glaive like a teddy bear.

/

Fenris followed Cernunnos through the door of the cottage, shutting it behind him. His vision was immediately obscured by a mass of coal black hair, as Hel pulled him into a tight hug.

"It is so good to finally see you and put a face to your voice. Well, your mind-voice, that is," amended Hel as she released him and stepped back to give her brother a proper look.

Fenris grinned. "And it's nice to put half a face to your voice," he said with a chuckle.

Hel rolled her good eye. "You always were a smart-ass. I'm glad at least that hasn't changed." She glanced across the room to where Cernunnos and a very transparent Arden were talking quietly. "So that's Cernunnos? He's the one who killed your friend Dipper, right?"

Fenris nodded. "I'm definitely not fond of the guy. But now our _father_ went and kidnapped and murdered his sister. I kinda feel sorry for him...and I don't like it. Thanks a lot, _dad_ ," he said, saying father and dad like they were dirty words.

Hel sighed. "Yeah. About that." She placed a hand on his shoulder and steered him toward Cernunnos and the late Arden. "You should probably sit down."

Fenris bit his lower lip, and sat down on Hel's overstuffed sofa. She sat next to him, while Cernunnos and Arden sat in armchairs set at a ninety degree angle to the sofa. The group was quiet for several moments, because everyone was waiting for someone else to start the conversation.

Fenris finally spoke up. "Uh, so why are you here, Arden?" He paused. "I mean, besides being dead. Why did you come to Hel?"

Arden smiled wryly. "Tactful, as always. I came here because your daddy is insane, and he's playing with fire by releasing ancient demons to fight for him. Before he killed me, he told me his plans. They involve you."

Fenris leaned back into the sofa cushions, and folded his hands over his stomach. "Let me guess—he wants me to destroy the world?"

Hel chuckled darkly. "I wish it was that simple. He wants you to destroy _all_ the worlds."

Cernunnos frowned. "But the Ragnarok cycle is supposed to be strictly within the Norse realm!"

Fenris raised an eyebrow at the Lord of the Hunt. "Um, Ragnarok _cycle_? Ragnarok is a one time deal. You know, the end of the world and whatnot?"

Cernunnos smirked. "Hel, you should probably be the one to tell him."

Fenris turned to his sister, his eyes narrowed. "Tell me _what_?"

The good side of Hel's face burned crimson. "You have to understand, I haven't kept this from you out of malice—I've had to keep it from _everyone_."

Fenris glared at her without speaking, waiting for her to continue.

"Ragnarok has happened before," Hel said. "Many, many times before. The prophecies about it aren't so much prophecies, as stories."

Fenris cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, you'd think I'd remember something like that."

Hel shook her head. "You wouldn't. All the gods killed during Ragnarok are born into the new cycle with no memory of the previous one. Those of us who survive have kept the cycle a secret from our brethren ever since the disaster of the very first Ragnarok."

"Our brethren," murmured Fenris. He glanced to Cernunnos. "But gods from other realms are aware that our apocalypse is cyclical?"

Cernunnos smirked at him. "Yes, we are. After your lot nearly destroyed the Mundane during the first Ragnarok, some of us from other realms met with the Norse survivors to ensure that the next time it happened, the damage would be minimized, and only affect your own realm."

Fenris looked at his hands. He had unintentionally curled them into tight fists. He stretched his fingers out, and looked up at Hel.

"So everyone really _does_ have a reason to fear me, then," he said. It was a statement, not a question.

Hel sighed, and reached out to pat her brother's hand. "You have never been bad, Fen. Not in any of the cycles before, nor now. But you are a force of destruction. Even gods fear destruction."

"Well, now that I know about the cycle, I just won't participate this time," said Fenris, defiantly.

"It's not quite that simple," said Arden. The look of loathing she normally saved for Fenris was replaced with something akin to pity. "Once set in motion, the cycle of Ragnarok cannot be stopped. And Puck, as Bacon, in freeing you from your bonds, either unwittingly or not, has set this cycle of Ragnarok in motion."

Fenris shook his head. "No. I don't want to destroy the world!" The bile rose in his throat. Destroying the world would mean destroying Mabel.

"Well, you won't actually be destroying the Mundane," said Cernunnos. "I mentioned that after the Mundane was thrown into chaos by the first Ragnarok, gods from other realms met with your survivors—the Midgard you _now_ destroy along with your realm isn't the Mundane. The first time it was, but after that, a pocket realm was created to be your Midgard. The humans who live there do not know they aren't really in the Mundane. They also do not know that they are effectively immortal. They are reborn into the pocket Migard after every Ragnarok, just as the Norse gods are reborn—with no memory of their previous lives."

Fenris glanced at Hel. "Okay, so dad is crazy and wants to destroy everything… and he wants me to help him. I won't help him. In fact, I'm kind of in the mood to kill him, after everything he's done. Especially now that he's targeting Mabel. But I'm also not going to destroy the pocket Midgard and the rest of the Norse realm to complete this cycle of Ragnarok. The prophecy says I die. I don't want to die."

Arden let out a soft cough. "Well, that's also kind of why I'm here. I came to explain to Hel that Ragnarok _must_ happen, and soon."

Cernunnos crossed his arms. "Why _must_ it happen, sister? It doesn't effect us. If Loki is the problem, perhaps some of the gods of Asgard will assist us in capturing him and re-binding him."

Arden sighed. She stood and began to pace in front of the sofa. "Because the Mundane—the _actual_ Mundane is at risk, and the Gravenemeta, doubly so. The almost-apocalypse that Mabel and her friends refer to as "Weirdmageddon" that happened in the Mundane last year is what caused the realms to shift, making the Gravnemeta the nexus point where the realms meet, rather then the Green Realm, where it is supposed to be. Only an equally cataclysmic event can shift the realms back into their proper places. Until that happens, creatures from any realm can easily access the mundane."

Arden paused and made eye contact with Fenris. "Unless Ragnarok shifts the realms, Mabel will be in constant danger, whether or not Loki is bound, or even dead. I know you care for her a great deal, Fenris. I may not particularly like you, but I can see that she does. If you want her to ever be safe again, Ragnarok _must_ happen."

Fenris stood, his eyes wildly darting to and fro between the other three gods in the room. "No—but in Ragnarok, I _die_! And—and you said if I die I'll be reborn without my memories! I won't remember any of the friends I've made—I won't remember Mabel!"

Arden walked forward and placed a hand on Fenris's shoulder. "I know it is difficult. Mabel is very special. But would you rather she constantly be in harm's way? Because if the realms don't shift, she will be."

Fenris looked at his feet and shook his head, tears pricking at his eyelids. He loved Mabel. He'd sacrifice anything for her. Even himself, and his memories of their time together.

Hel cleared her throat. "Actually, seeing as this Ragnarok cycle is already highly irregular due to Puck's meddling, perhaps we can change the events a bit, while still causing the realms to shift. What if, Fenris, you had someone with you to watch your back—to try and keep you alive through Ragnarok?"

Fenris bit his lip. "I'll take any help you can give me, Hel. Anything to ensure Mabel's safety, while still being able to remember her, and hopefully be with her again."

Hel smiled. "Very good. It just so happens that someone owes me a favor, and promised they would do _anything_ I asked. I am going to call in that favor now. Dipper Pines will venture with you into the Norse realm, and will be tasked with keeping you alive through the end of Ragnarok."

/

/

/

/

 **Well, folks, it looks like we have maybe one more chapter left of Worlds Collide. Then the last installment, Gravity Falls: Worlds End, will begin.**

 **My musical inspiration for this chapter (mostly for Mabel's scenes) was Acid Rain, by Lorn, if you want to give it a listen.**

 **Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews! You all keep me going.**

 **Hearts and flowers,**

 **MPD**


	29. Worlds Collide, Chapter Eleven

**Worlds Collide**

 **Chapter Eleven**

It was early morning when Fenris blipped back from Helheim to the Gravnemeta. There was a nip in the air, but the weak post-dawn sunlight was beginning to warm things up. Fenris had chosen to blip to the Gravnemeta first, because he knew it was Wendy and Dipper's turn to take the day shift, and he wanted to talk to Dipper privately about his conversation with Cernunnos, Arden, and Hel, before breaking the news to Mabel.

He scanned the clearing, and spotted Dipper and Wendy, standing shoulder to shoulder, staring down at something on the ground. He trotted toward them.

"Hey, Dipper, I need to talk to you about something," he said as he reached the couple. Then he saw what they were staring at, and he gasped. Mabel was lying motionless in the dew-covered grass, dressed in her leather armor, and holding her glaive. Her skin was unnaturally pale, with a gray tinge to it.

"Mabel!" he cried, his throat tightening around her name.

Dipper and Wendy whirled around to face him. "Don't panic, Fen," said Dipper, holding his hands out. "It's not what it looks like."

"Yeah, dude, no need to go super-saiyan," added Wendy. Her attempt to lighten the mood failed, and she took a step away from Fenris. There was fire behind his eyes.

Fenris felt embers flaring to life in his chest. He pushed past Dipper and knelt next to Mabel. "What is it, then?" he asked, his voice low. He touched Mabel's cheek with the back of his hand. She was ice cold, but her chest rose and fell steadily. He ran the pad of his thumb gently over her lips, and Mabel let out a soft sigh.

Satisfied that Mabel was neither dead, nor dying, Fenris rose to his feet, and turned back toward Dipper and Wendy. He crossed his arms.

"Well?"

"She was like this when we got here a little while ago to relieve the Stans," said Dipper, carefully. "Apparently she was out here all night, doing drills with her glaive. Grunkle Stan said he and Ford accidentally fell asleep, or they would have stopped her sooner. They woke up just before dawn, and she was still going. Stan said when he tried to talk to her, she collapsed, and fell asleep."

"They told us not to wake her," added Wendy. "Just to leave her be."

Fenris frowned. "Couldn't you have at least conjured her a blanket, Dipper? She's freezing."

Dipper had the decency to look ashamed. "I didn't even think of that. Wow. I'm an idiot." He awkwardly knelt down next to Mabel, and a large, heavy down comforter appeared folded in his arms. He draped it gently over his sleeping twin before standing back up.

"Now what was it that you needed to talk to me about?" asked Dipper. "Did you and Antlers find Arden? Or her soul, I guess?"

Fenris nodded. "I need to talk with you privately, Dipper."

"Privately? That can't be good!" joked Dipper, grinning. His grin faded when Fenris didn't show any sign of humor.

"Walk with me." Fenris reached out and placed a hand Dipper's shoulder, steering him toward the treeline.

"Okay, cool, I guess I'll just hang out here with Sleeping Beauty," Wendy called out toward their backs, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She heaved a sigh, and flopped down on the grass next to Mabel.

Once they were under the cover of the trees, Fenris sat on a fallen log, and indicated for Dipper to do the same. Dipper folded his arms over his chest and shook his head. Fenris's serious demeanor was beginning to make him uneasy. He leaned back against a tree trunk, and stared down his nose at his friend.

"Okay, doggo, out with it. What's wrong. You're acting like someone died."

Fenris cocked his head to the side, looking very like his old canine self for a moment. "Someone...did...die? Arden?"

"Oh, right," muttered Dipper. "But you found her ghost, right? So that's good!"

Fenris sighed. "Dipper, remember when you died and met my sister?"

Dipper snorted. "Uh yeah, she's not an easy one to forget," he said, patting the left side of his face and grimacing.

Fenris nodded. "Right. So, before she sent you back up into your body, what did she say to you?"

"Um," said Dipper. "She said she might want me to perform a favor for her some day, and asked me to promise that I would, in exchange for sending me back."

Fenris's nostrils flared, and he frowned. "You didn't think that making a deal with the Norse goddess of death is maybe something you should have mentioned to me when you got back into your body?"

Dipper shifted his weight from hoof to hoof, and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Honestly, no. I was just happy to be not-dead. I didn't think too much of it."

"Okay," said Fenris slowly, "since you didn't think much of it, I'm assuming you didn't bother to tell Wendy about this deal of yours?"

Dipper swallowed hard, anxiety beginning to build up in the pit of his stomach. "No."

"Well, you get to tell her now. Hel's calling in the favor."

Dipper's face lost all color, and he slid down the trunk of the tree he was leaning against, until he was sitting at the base.

"Shit," he muttered. "I honestly thought the promise was a formality—or at least not something she'd need me to fulfill so soon after making it. What's the favor?"

"She wants you to protect me—" began Fenris.

"Oh, that's not so bad!" interrupted Dipper. "I thought you were going to say she wanted me to kill someone!"

Fenris sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Sorry, it's not that easy, Dip. Hel wants you to protect me, and prevent me from dying during Ragnarok, as was foretold. And Ragnarok has already been set in motion."

Dipper's jaw gaped. Fenris went on to explain what he'd learned from Hel, Cernunnos, and Arden—about how Ragnarok was actually cyclical, and had happened many times before, and how it was the only way to shift the realms back into their proper places, ensuring Mabel's safety.

"I want Mabel to be safe, so I'm going to help destroy the pocket Midgard and the other Norse realms," Fenris said. "But I'm supposed to die during Ragnarok. I don't want to do that to Mabel—or to myself, to be honest. If I die and am reborn, I won't remember her...you...any of you. Hel thinks that because this Ragnarok cycle is already irregular, maybe we can actually change the outcome in such a way that I live. And _that's_ why Hel wants you to come with me and protect me. Ragnarok _has_ to happen, but hopefully I don't have to die."

Dipper stared at Fenris silently, taking everything in. Finally he took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll do it. I mean, willingly. It's not like I have a choice, since I made that stupid open-ended promise to Hel—but I am also in favor of you not dying. You're my best friend, and Mabel loves you. I'll do my best to keep you safe."

Fenris looked down at his hands and sniffed, wiping at his cheek. This cycle was different. According to myth, never before had the Great Wolf had friends.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Dipper stood, and held a hand out to Fenris, helping him up from the log. He gave Fen's hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

"So when do we have to go, uh, do… Ragnarok?" he asked, as they began walking back toward the Gravnemeta. "I'm guessing soon."

Fenris nodded. "Enjoy your day with Wendy. We'll leave for the Norse realm tomorrow morning."

/

Mabel shifted groggily. She felt like she was floating. She decided she was having a lucid dream, and tried to empty her mind, so she would once again fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. Dreaming was bad. Fenris was in her dreams, always in danger, and reaching out to her. Mabel let out a small sob, and whispered his name.

"Shh, it's okay," came the soft reply. "I'm here."

Warm lips gently touched Mabel's forehead. This was too real to even be a lucid dream. Mabel's eyes shot open, and immediately filled with tears. She was cradled in Fenris's arms, and he was smiling down at her.

"Fen—you came back," she managed to choke out. She threw her arms around him, pressed her face against his chest, and wept silently, her tears quickly soaking his shirt.

Fenris kissed the top of her head, and rocked her. He bit his lip and fought against the tears that were threatening to seep from _his_ eyes. Seeing her like this tore his heart to shreds, and now he was about to destroy her world all over again by telling her that he and Dipper would be leaving for the Norse realms tomorrow.

Finally Mabel cried herself out. She sniffed and lifted her head, glancing around curiously. "We're in my room," she observed. Fenris was sitting on her bed with his back against the wall. "I don't remember how I got here."

"I blipped you here." Fenris smiled and shifted Mabel so that she was leaning against her pillows, with her legs draped over his lap. "You apparently wore yourself out last night practicing with your glaive at the Gravnemeta, and fell asleep there."

Mabel blushed. "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to do some drills. I might have overdone it..."

Fenris cocked an eyebrow at her. "There's no 'might have' about it. You weren't even supposed to be there. Sirona told you to take a couple days off after your run in with Loki, remember?"

"Yeah, well," mumbled Mabel. "I might have been freaking out a little, with Arden dead, and you yanked away with no notice." Her voice shook as she continued. "I thought maybe you'd decide to just never come back here, since the plan was to make Loki think you don't care about me."

Fenris sighed. He took Mabel's hand in his, and laced their fingers together. "Plans have changed," he said. "I still can't stay—I have to leave again tomorrow—but hopefully when I come back, it will be permanently."

Mabel swallowed, trying to fight the lump of anxiety rising in her chest. "What's changed?" she asked.

"Well, you know how I wanted to avoid doing the whole Ragnarok thing and destroying the world?"

Mabel nodded.

"It turns out it isn't the Mundane that will be destroyed, but a small 'pocket' Midgard in the Norse Realms," continued Fenris. "I have to play my part in destroying it, as well as the rest of the Norse Realms. It's the only way I can keep you safe."

Fenris moved Mabel's legs from his lap, and lay down on his side, next to her. She turned as well, so that their faces were mere inches apart.

"I don't understand," she said, reaching out to run her hand over his shoulder. "How will Ragnarok keep me safe? And aren't you supposed to die during the battle?" Her chin quivered.

Fenris touched her lips gently with a finger, and kissed her forehead. "Don't be scared, love" he whispered. "Hel thinks that we may be able to avoid my death during this cycle." He explained the cyclical nature of Ragnarok, and how it could shift the realms back into their proper places.

"And I think I stand a good chance of surviving this Ragnarok," he said finally, "because your brother will be coming with me to watch my back."

Fenris bit his lower lip and waited for Mabel's response. She closed her eyes, but not before a single tear slid down her cheek.

"So, if this all goes badly wrong," she said, her voice strained, "I could lose _both_ of you?"

Fenris mentally kicked himself. He hadn't even thought of that possible outcome. He reached out and pulled Mabel to him, and she curled up against his chest. Her eyes were still closed, her fists were clenched, and she was breathing rapidly.

"No, Mabel, I will do everything in my power to make sure Dipper comes back to you. I will protect him just as he protects me, and I will also make him swear that if I _am_ slain, he will immediately blip out of danger and come home." Fenris held Mabel close, and stroked her hair. She was trembling.

"I'm sorry, Fen," she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. "I know I'm acting like a baby. This is all so much, and I'm just one insignificant mortal." She laughed wetly. "I don't think mortal minds are built to handle this kind of god-level drama all the time."

"Hey, now," Fenris said sternly. He pulled back from Mabel, tucked a finger under her chin, and made her look up at him. "You may be mortal, but never _ever_ think you're insignificant, Mabel. You are the sun, and the moon. You are the softness of flowers, and the fierceness of a cutting winter wind. You are power, and fury, and you are the most beautiful, most precious person to me in all the realms. Your brother taught me that I am capable of making friends, but it was _you_ who taught me that I am _worthy_ of having friends. You may not be a goddess, but you are _my_ goddess, and I am sworn to you."

Fenris stopped talking, and realized he was breathing heavily. He had been speaking more forcefully than he meant to, carried away by his emotions. He had yet to break eye contact with Mabel. Her deep brown eyes were wide, and her lips were slightly parted in surprise.

Without saying anything, Mabel reached up, and slowly guided his face down toward hers. She pressed her warm lips gently against his, kissing him softly at first. Their kisses grew deeper and more passionate, and Fenris groaned softly as Mabel ran her hands through his hair, making a fist and tugging it gently, pulling him more firmly against her.

"You better come back to me, Fen," she whispered into his mouth. "I love you."

/

"YOU'RE GOING _WHERE_?!"

The scream echoed from the Gravnemeta, spooking woodland creatures, and causing a flock of birds to rise from the trees and flee the area.

Dipper shrank back from Wendy. She stood in the shade of the giant oak, her arms crossed over her chest, tapping a single foot angrily.

"I'm sorry, Wendy," Dipper said, looking down at his hooves. "I would have said something sooner if I'd known about it, but Fenris just told me. That's why he pulled me aside to talk privately."

Wendy huffed. "Couldn't you have at least told me about making an open-ended promise to Hel?"

"Wendy, she sprang that on me when I was _dead_ , and desperate to get back to you." Dipper put his hands on his hips, and cocked his head at her. "Besides, would you rather I'd said no, and stayed dead?"

Wendy gritted her teeth. "No, I just—ugh. I'm sorry for yelling at you, dude." She strode forward and pulled Dipper into a hug. "So when are we leaving tomorrow?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dipper said, stepping back. "We? No, Wendy. You're not coming with us."

Wendy shot him a dangerous look. "What was that, Pines? For a second there I thought you told me I couldn't go with you."

Dipper turned away and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He approached one of the standing stones of the henge, and gently banged his forehead against it. He had to figure out how to word his thoughts in a way that wouldn't imply that he thought Wendy was too fragile or weak to keep up with him and Fenris.

"Look," said Dipper with a sigh, turning back to face Wendy. "You're a goddess. You're strong and capable. If you truly insist on coming with me and Fenris, I won't stop you."

Wendy smiled smugly.

"However," continued Dipper, causing Wendy's smile to flicker. "I would really prefer you to stay here. Not for me. I mean, I want you safe, and Ragnarok doesn't sound safe—but the main reason I want you to stay behind is to support Mabel."

"Oh, pshaw," said Wendy, flapping a hand. "If that's all you're worried about, Puck, Sirona, and my mom are all more than capable of watching over her. Plus, she's got all our human friends and family as well."

Dipper shook his head. "That's not what I mean by 'support.' Wendy, you know how Mabel reacted just from Fenris getting pulled away with no notice. She did glaive drills last night until she _literally_ dropped from exhaustion. I'm worried about her. She's having a really hard time handling everything that's going on. And now her...boyfriend? I guess? And brother are going to the Norse Realms to bring about Ragnarok. She needs a friend. Someone to support her—and who understands what she's going through."

Wendy sighed and hugged Dipper, laying her head on his shoulder. "Damn you, Pines. I was all prepared to be mad at you for treating me like a fragile little flower. But you're not. You're worried about your sister. I can't be mad at that."

"So... does that mean you're okay with staying behind?" asked Dipper hesitantly.

Wendy pulled back, keeping her hands on Dipper's shoulders, and looking him in the eye. "Not _okay_ ," she said. "I'd much rather be watching your back and making sure you get home in one piece. But I'll stay behind anyway. For Mabel."

Dipper smiled, and leaned in to kiss Wendy. "Thank you."

/

There was a soft knock on Mabel's door, and it opened with a creak.

"Since you didn't come down for breakfast _or_ lunch, I figured I'd bring you up something to eat," said Melody cheerfully, as she bustled in carrying a tray. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Mabel lying in her bed next to Fenris. "Oh! Fenris, you're back! And Mabel… you're wearing your armor? Did I miss something?"

For the first time since she'd woken up in Fen's arms, Mabel glanced at what she was wearing. She hadn't even noticed that she was still armored. She caught a whiff of herself and wrinkled her nose.

"It's a long story, Melody," she said. "And Fen, why didn't you tell me I smelled gross?"

Fenris shrugged. "I love the way you smell."

"Ugh, well I don't," muttered Mabel, as she sat up and rose stiffly from the bed. "You can go ahead and eat. I'm going to grab a shower. Thanks for the food, Melody."

"You're welcome," replied the older woman. "I'll go bring up some more. I thought it was just you up here."

Mabel began loosening the laces on her armor as Melody clomped back down the stairs. She leaned over to pull at the laces of her greaves, and groaned.

"Everything hurts," she complained. "Remind me never to pull an all-night glaive practice ever again, m'kay?"

Fenris smiled up at Mabel, then slid from the bed and knelt next to her. "Noted," he said, as he began tugging at her greave laces. "Here, let me do that."

Fenris had Mabel's armor off in mere minutes, leaving her clad in the shorts and tank top she'd worn to bed the night before. Mabel plucked at the still sweat-soaked shirt, pulling it away from her skin with a grimace.

"Yikes," she muttered. "I'm getting that shower now. You should eat before the food gets cold." She grabbed clean clothes from a drawer, and sauntered from the room. Soon Fenris heard the clank of pipes as the shower cut on.

Fenris helped himself to some of the food, not even really noticing the flavor or texture of what he was chewing. He stared thoughtfully at Mabel's armor pieces scattered across the floor, as the beginnings of an idea formed in the back of his mind.

Dipper was constantly playing with his powers, doing all sorts of new magic on a daily basis. Granted, as a trickster, his powers were only limited by his imagination and his will—he could pretty much do anything he wanted if he practiced enough. Fenris wondered if, now that he was in human form and had discovered his destruction magic, he would be able to learn how to do more than just throw fireballs and spontaneously combust. Could he learn how to, say, enchant items with destruction magic?

He leaned over and picked up Mabel's gauntlets. Could he help protect her by giving her the power to destroy? How would he even do such a thing? He held the gauntlets to his chest and scrunched his eyes shut, imagining an aura of shimmering fire surrounding him, and engulfing the gauntlets. He pictured Mabel wearing the gauntlets, shooting gouts of flame at an enemy from her hands.

"Ahem," came a polite cough from the doorway. Fenris's eyes flew open and he blushed furiously, as Melody entered the room and sat another tray of food down. She nodded to the gauntlets he still clutched to his chest. "Whatcha doing?"

Fenris tossed the gauntlets aside with a shrug. "Just being stupid." He doubted his little visualization exercise had had any effect, anyway. He had no idea what he was doing.

Melody raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Okay, then. Eat up," she said, turning on her heel and leaving.

A moment later Mabel entered the room, dressed in clean shorts and a t-shirt, a towel wrapped around her hair.

"Ugh, I feel soooo much better," she said, flopping down on her bed. Then she sniffed. "What smells like burnt leather?"

/

By late afternoon, word had traveled amongst their family and friends that Dipper and Fenris would be going to the Norse Realm the following morning, and would be gone for an unspecified amount of time. Beithe had the idea to throw the boys a big farewell dinner that evening, so that Wendy and Mabel could send them off from the Gravnemeta tomorrow privately. The group was too big to fit in any of their houses, so Dipper conjured up a table and chairs at the Gravnemeta. As the sepia-toned evening fell, everyone trickled in, bearing dishes of their favorite foods to share. Even Pacifica showed up.

"Jeez, you said the puppy became human," Mabel heard Pacifica mutter to Grenda from across the table, as they filled their plates, "but you failed to mention what a hottie he is!"

Mabel bit her lip, suddenly feeling insecure, and reached out to grab Fenris's hand. He squeezed it, then lifted it to his mouth and kissed it gently. The warm look in his eyes instantly melted any feelings of insecurity, and gave her a fluttery feeling in her stomach. Mabel needn't worry about Pacifica making a move on Fenris. He only had eyes for her.

"Yeah, I guess he is," Grenda grunted back at Pacifica, as if she hadn't really noticed before, "but he's also super in love with Mabel, and super devoted to her. Don't get any ideas, Blondie."

Mabel grinned and caught Grenda's eye. The larger girl winked at her, as she handed a small piece of food to Bork, who was sitting on her shoulder.

"You shouldn't feed the brownie," Harold called out to Grenda from his seat at the other end of the table, his tone exceedingly arrogant. "If anything, he should be serving us this meal. That is what they're for."

Grenda gritted her teeth, and clenched her fist so hard she warped the fork she was holding. The animated chatter at the table ceased, and the Gravnemeta fell into uncomfortable silence. Well, silence except for the low, rumbling growl emanating from Grenda's throat.

Bork hopped down from Grenda's shoulder and maneuvered around the dishes on the table, his small, reedy voice breaking the awkward silence.

"It's okay, everyone," he said, coming to a stop in front of the former Green Man. He reached for the serving spoon in the dish of mashed potatoes to his left. "Allow me to serve you one last time, _sir_." He levered the spoon back as far as he could, then let go. The contents of the spoon flew through the air and splattered directly in Harold's face.

Harold's bellow of rage was quickly cut off by Puck, who jumped to his feet at the end of the table, holding rolls aloft, and screaming "FOOD FIGHT!"

The previously civilized meal erupted into a battle-zone, as dinner began flying at faces. Dipper conjured a miniature trebuchet and loaded it with the contents of his plate, sending it hurtling at his Grunkles. There had not been any pies on the table, but Puck remedied that situation, and soon everyone was covered in lemon meringue and key lime shrapnel.

"Ew, it's in my HAIR!" Pacifica screeched, ducking under the table. The only other coward hiding under the table was a very grumpy, potato-faced Harold.

Beithe and Wendy began shooting leaves of lettuce at everyone, while the boys and Dan all wielded bottles of salad dressing, thoroughly saladifying their fellow diners. Soos simply stood still, his mouth open, eating whatever happened to come his way. Melody hid behind her bulky beau, ducking out now and then to hurl slices of garlic bread like ninja throwing stars at her friends. The Grunkles quickly recovered from Dipper's trebuchet attack, and began using a slingshot that Ford had presumably had on his person to fling olives and meatballs. Sirona used Cecil, who was draped over her shoulders, as a form of defense—whenever edible projectiles came her way, she swatted them away with Cecil's muscular tail. Grenda was using a baked brie as a shield, whilst sending fists of crudites flying in all directions. Bork retained his serving spoon, splattering mashed potatoes and gravy on those nearest him. Mabel and Fenris stood back to back, grabbing whatever food was within reach on the table, and lobbing it by the handful at anyone but each other.

/

Nobody noticed the unusually large, black bird perched ominously in the upper branches of the giant oak, watching the food fight unfold, a wicked gleam in its eyes.

Hel had told him that Fenris finally agreed to come home for Ragnarok, to participate in some murder and mayhem. She seemed to have been telling the truth, as before the tiny man started the food fight, Loki had heard bits and pieces of conversation revolving around 'the boys' leaving for the Norse Realm in the morning.

The boys. Yes, Hel had mentioned that Fenris insisted on bringing along his satyr-shaped trickster friend from the Green Realm. Loki didn't really care. It might even be useful to have another trickster on hand to help sow chaos. However, if he got in the way of Fenris doing his job, Loki would have no problem dispatching with the young god. He was going to, eventually, anyway. Maybe he could even convince Fenris to be the one to off his 'friend.'

Oh, and it would also be simply _delicious_ if Fenris was the one to kill the girl who smelled of him. She would have to go. Gods of destruction shouldn't have girlfriends. Especially not mortal ones. Loki would leave her alone for now, to ensure his son's cooperation. By the time Ragnarok was complete, Loki was certain Fenris would be hardened up enough to kill her willingly, and without remorse.

Loki was going to make sure he and Fenris survived Ragnarok by any means. First Ragnarok—then he and his son would take over the Green Realm, and use it as a staging point from which to conquer and destroy all the other realms.

And _nothing_ was going to stand in their way—especially not some silly mortal girl.

/

/

/

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 **Hearts and flowers,**

 **MPD**


	30. Worlds Collide, Chapter Twelve

**Worlds Collide**

 **Chapter Twelve**

Wendy's room was quiet and dark. Dipper wrapped his arms more tightly around her and snuggled into her back, as he listened to the sound of her deep, even breathing. They'd stayed up late, talking about anything and everything, purposefully avoiding the subject of Ragnarok, and the accompanying "what ifs."

Dipper lifted his head and glanced over Wendy's shoulder, to the bit of hallway visible through her open bedroom door. He half-expected Manly Dan to be looming angrily in the doorway, but it was empty. Beithe had somehow convinced Dan to let Dipper stay this _one_ night with Wendy, under the condition that they kept her door open. The lumberjack had grumbled about wandering hands, but after a short, muttered argument with his wife, Beithe got her way. After all, no one would say it out loud, but everyone was thinking it: Dipper was leaving to accompany Fenris to the Norse realm and set off Ragnarok—and there was a very good chance he might not make it back.

That thought sent a shiver down Dipper's spine. He pressed his face into Wendy's shoulderblade, and breathed in her warm, earthy scent as he tried to stop trembling. He had to be strong for her. He was terrified, but he didn't want to add to the concerns that Wendy already had about him acting as Fenris's bodyguard during their bastardized version of Ragnarok.

"Dipper, why're you shaking?" mumbled Wendy groggily.

Dipper didn't say anything. He just squeezed her tightly and placed a single kiss on the nape of her neck.

Wendy sighed and rolled over, curling up against Dipper's chest, and burrowing her head under his chin. Her breathing slowed and deepened once again. Dipper kissed the top of her head, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

/

The light of the moon filtered through the attic window, casting a pale triangle against the floorboards of Mabel's bedroom. Fenris and Mabel lay in her bed, face-to-face, holding each other.

"Fen?"

"Hmm?"

"I can't sleep."

Fenris opened his eyes and was met with Mabel's warm brown gaze. "I can't either," he admitted.

"Don't go," Mabel said weakly. She looked away, embarrassed at the pleading tone of her voice.

Fenris placed his hand against Mabel's cheek, and ran the pad of his thumb over her lips. "I promise you, Mabel, if it wasn't necessary for your safety, I wouldn't go. I'd never leave your side."

Mabel's lips twitched up into a semblance of a smile. "Well, you might want to leave my side for, like, going to the bathroom and stuff."

Fenris chuckled low. "That is true. But please understand, I am not willingly leaving you. You are the most precious person in the world to me."

"Ugh," Mabel sighed. "Prophecies suck. I don't get why you _have_ to go all rage-and-destruction on the Norse realm. What about self-determination?"

Fenris raised a single eyebrow. "You remember who my dad is, right? I'm going rage-and-destruction so that he leaves you alone. Among other things."

"But you're a good boy," whispered Mabel, stroking Fenris's cheek.

Fenris took a shuddering breath. The way she said that had sent a wave of warmth throughout his body. He put his hand on the back of Mabel's head, twining his fingers through her soft hair, and pressed her face against his. He took a deep breath of her scent before placing his mouth on hers and kissing her deeply.

He didn't know how many mythological cycles he'd lived through, but he knew, without a doubt, that nobody had ever affected him as deeply and profoundly as Mabel. She was his twin flame, destined to burn together with him for eternity.

As if she read his thoughts, Mabel murmured against his mouth: "If you don't come back to me, Fen, I'll come after you. I promise. You're part of me now. I'll find you, no matter what."

/

The dim, gray, predawn light peeking in through Wendy's curtains alerted Dipper that it was morning. He hadn't slept. He'd held onto Wendy throughout the night, trying to retain the feel of her body in his memory. He did, however, want to spend some time with her while she was awake, before he had to set off on his and Fenris's new adventure.

"Hey, Wen," he said softly into her ear, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "Time to get up!"

Wendy groaned and rolled onto her back, throwing an arm over her eyes. "What time is it?" she mumbled.

"Too early to be awake," admitted Dipper. "But I miss you already. I'd like to hang out with conscious Wendy for a couple hours before I have to—" He paused, trying to talk past the lump in his throat. "Before I leave."

Wendy's eyes flew open. "Fuck. I was hoping all that was a bad dream." She sat up and leaned back against her headboard, staring at Dipper with her piercing green eyes. "You're _sure_ you'd rather me stay with Mabel than come with you?"

Dipper nodded. "You two watch over each other, and Fen and I will do the same. Everything will be okay." He sounded more convinced of that than he felt.

The dull thud of footsteps sounded in the hallway, accompanied by the soft screech of something heavy and metallic being dragged on the hardwood floor. A moment later, a sleepy-looking Manly Dan glowered at Dipper through the open door. He was holding the handle of a large ax, letting its head rest on the floor.

"Sleep well?" he grunted.

"Not really," answered Dipper, without thinking. "Well, not at all, actually."

" _What_?" spat Dan. He glared at Dipper as he moved into the room, and began to lift his ax.

"Nonononono, Dad!" cried Wendy, jumping out of bed to stand between her dad and Dipper. "Nothing happened! I promise, okay? _I_ slept."

Dipper hopped up from the bed as well, and held his hands up. "Whoa, Manly Dan, I definitely didn't mean anything like that! I just couldn't sleep—too anxious about Ragnarok. Nothing happened, I swear!"

Dan lowered his ax, his frown both grumpy and skeptical. "I need coffee," he finally grunted, turning to trudge toward the kitchen.

Wendy sighed with relief, and turned to Dipper, running her hands through her hair. "I need to grab a shower… then how about we go on a walk—take the long way to the Gravnemeta?"

Dipper nodded. "I hear your mom and brothers stirring. I guess I'll go say my goodbyes while you get ready."

As Wendy headed toward the bathroom, Dipper turned the opposite way, which led him to the Corduroy's kitchen. Dan was slumped at the table, his chin resting against his propped up hand. His eyelids drooped. Beithe was puttering about, pouring boiling water into her French press, and pulling out the ingredients to make pancakes from scratch. She heard Dipper's hooves clacking against the floor, and turned to smile at him.

"Good morning, dear! Pancakes and coffee?" she asked.

Dipper sat at the opposite end of the table from Dan, eyeing the lumberjack warily. "Yes, please. I, uh, wasn't able to sleep, so I'll take my coffee as strong and sugary as you can make it."

"Strong coffee coming up," said Beithe, turning back to stir the pancake batter. She continued to chatter while she cooked. "Dan couldn't sleep last night either. Seemed like he would twitch at every little noise. I had to physically restrain him from patrolling the hallway at one point."

Dan grumbled inaudibly.

"What was that, honey?" Beithe asked. She plunged the French press and poured a steaming cup of black coffee, handing it to her husband.

"I just worry about Wendy, is all," Dan said, before taking a sip from his _World's Best Dad_ mug. "She's still so young for—well, you know. Even if she _is_ handfasted."

Dipper felt his cheeks grow warm, and he looked down at the table. "Well, at least you'll be able to sleep better, knowing I'm in an entirely different realm from your daughter," he said bitterly. A mug of beige-colored coffee was plunked down in front of him. He looked up to see Beithe standing over him, a single eyebrow raised. "Thanks for the coffee," he mumbled. He didn't know what her look was supposed to mean, but it made him feel slightly chastised.

"Now that's not fair," said Dan, suddenly defensive. "Wendy loves you, and you being gone is going to be hard on her. It'll be hard on… all of us."

Dipper took a large gulp of coffee, then grinned at Dan. "Why, Mr. Corduroy, I didn't know you cared!" he drawled in a ridiculous mockery of a Southern accent.

Manly Dan frowned at him, but his eyes were kind. "You're good for her, kid. Make sure you come back in one piece." Then he looked down at the plate of pancakes Beithe set before him, and began shoveling in his meal, barely breathing between bites. It appeared that he had nothing else to say on the subject.

Dipper smiled to himself, as he tucked into his own plate of pancakes.

Wendy and her brothers soon joined the others at the breakfast table, and Dipper made sure to say goodbye to everyone before they left. Finally he and a still-wet-haired Wendy emerged from the Corduroy's cabin into the crisp morning air.

The couple held hands and ambled slowly in the general direction of the Gravnemeta, trying to put off their inevitable parting as long as possible.

/

Mabel and Fenris woke up in a tangle of each other's limbs, the covers of the bed laying in a heap of the floor, having been cast aside at some point in the night. Fenris blinked sleepily, a small smile playing on his lips. His hair, untidy at the best of times, simultaneously stuck up in clumps, and fell into his eyes.

"Hi," he said softly, noticing Mabel looking at him.

Mabel opened her mouth to reply, but she couldn't get any words out. Today was the day Fenris left her. She just shook her head and held onto him, her knuckles white. She pressed her face into his chest, inhaling the smell of musk, pine needles, and wood smoke that always clung to his skin.

Fenris sighed, and kissed her forehead. He didn't have to be at the Gravnemeta just yet. He could blip there instantaneously when it was time, anyway. He tried to push thoughts of what he'd soon have to do from his mind, and focus on the warm presence of Mabel, as she tried to press herself as close as physically possible against his body.

He didn't know what to say. He'd told Mabel of his love for her, but he felt like mere words couldn't do the enormity of his feelings for her justice. She was light and life. Her gentleness like the first warm breeze of spring, or the light touch of a honeybee alighting on a flower to collect nectar. She was also as ferocious and relentless as a summer storm when she needed to be—particularly if those she loved were in danger.

Dipper had been Fenris's first friend, but Mabel made him feel whole, and like he was enough—worthy of love.

"Do you remember when we met?" he asked, his breath ruffling the stray hairs on Mabel's forehead.

Mabel answered without looking up, her lips tickling Fenris's bare chest, giving him goosebumps. "It was the day Dipper and Wendy came back from the Green Realm and had their handfasting." She giggled softly. "I thought you were just a really smart puppy."

"That night, after Dipper and Wendy left their party, I noticed you crying. Even before I really knew you, seeing you sad broke my heart." He paused and took a deep breath. "Mabel, I didn't realize what love was then, because I'd never felt it before… but I fell in love with you that night. And every day I've spent with you since then, I've only come to love you more. Now I'm in human form and we can have a physical relationship (which is great, don't get me wrong), but that pure, innocent feeling of love I discovered in puppy form that first night with you is still there, in my heart, a bright white light, were there was once only darkness. Despite Dipper being along to help me, I think _that_ is what is really going to make a difference, and protect me during this Ragnarok cycle. I love you, and I'm loved in return. You've given me something to fight for. I will come back to you, Mabel. Your light will guide me home."

Fenris felt warm, wet tears splash onto his chest, as Mabel wept silently, her face still pressed against him. He wrapped his arms around her more tightly and stroked her hair. His expression reflected the grim determination he felt. He and Mabel belonged together. He would do anything to make it back into her arms.

/

Wendy and Dipper meandered hand-in-hand, slowly making their way past the treeline and into the Gravnemeta just as Fenris blipped himself and Mabel there. The couples met in the center of the clearing, under the canopy of the giant oak. None of them looked pleased to be there.

Mabel, her face pale, and her eyes red-rimmed, spoke first. "So… what happens now?" she asked, her voice quavering.

Dipper shrugged, his expression carefully neutral. "This is Fen's show, now."

Fenris licked his lips, hesitating. "I… I hadn't really thought about it. I suppose we should blip to Hel's place first. She'll probably have an idea of what Loki has planned for us."

"Remind me again why y'all can't just kill Loki and be done with it?" asked Wendy, folding her arms over her chest.

"We need Ragnarok to happen, because it will reset the nexus point between realms to the Green Realm, so the Gravnemeta will not be so easy for unfriendly gods and beasts from other realms to access," said Fenris. "But don't worry, once we're sure the shift has happened, I plan to kill my father myself." He said the last bit while staring Mabel in the eye, and squeezed her hand for emphasis.

"Please just be careful," Mabel murmured. "Both of you."

The group stood in silence for a few moments, nobody wanting to say goodbye. Finally, Fenris spoke.

"We should go now. The sooner we leave, the sooner we may return."

Dipper nodded. "Okay, I guess this is it, then. Wendy—" He was cut off by Wendy's mouth suddenly forcefully pressed against his own. She hugged him so tightly that his back cracked.

Fenris looked away, his cheeks red. Mabel put her arms around him, and looked up into his face. Her eyes were wet.

"Fen," she whispered, so only he could hear her, "you are _everything_. You said I'm your light? Well, you're the air I breathe. I won't be able to breathe properly again, until you're back safe with me." Her eyes finally overflowed, as she said thickly, "I already can't breathe. It hurts so much."

Fenris lowered his head and pressed his lips to the tears dripping down both Mabel's cheeks, before bringing his mouth to hers, kissing her with a gentle passion.

"I promise you," he whispered against her lips. "I promise I will come back to you."

The couples reluctantly separated, and Fenris and Wendy clasped hands, while Mabel hugged her brother.

"Please keep Fen safe," Mabel said, her voice low. "And take care of yourself. If you die I'll never forgive you."

Dipper chuckled wetly, and nodded. He let go of Mabel, and she stepped back to grasp Fenris's hand one last time. Dipper reached out and squeezed Wendy's hand.

"You two look out for each other, as well," said Dipper. "You're the most bad-ass women I know—you got this."

Fenris pulled his hand from Mabel's, sighing as he did. "It is time for us to depart."

Dipper nodded. He and Fenris turned to face the girls, and Dipper slung an arm around Fen's shoulders.

Fenris took a deep breath, looked into Mabel's eyes one last time, then closed his eyes in concentration. Dipper never took his eyes from Wendy's face.

There was a soft pop, and suddenly Mabel and Wendy were the only two souls in the clearing. They stood in contemplative silence for a few moments, tears leaving wet trails down their cheeks.

Mabel took a shuddering breath, then wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, before turning to face Wendy.

"So, you wanna spar?"

The corner's of Wendy's lips twitched slightly. "Hell yes."

/

/

/

/

/

/

 **Thus concludes Gravity Falls: Worlds Collide. The next chapter I post will be the first chapter of the final book in the trilogy, Gravity Falls: Worlds End.**

 **I hope you've enjoyed the story so far! All your follows, favorites, and reviews mean a lot to me, and give me incentive to keep writing, so thank you.**

 **I hate to say it, but I am taking a bit of a hiatus, as I'm taking summer classes toward getting my MFA in Children's and Young Adult Literature. You may see me post to my other fic, The Light of Things Hoped For, in the next week or two, because I am trying to finish it before my classes start. But Worlds End will have to wait until my classes end at the end of July.**

 **Please leave me a review, and let me know what you think, loves!**

 **Hearts and flowers,**

 **MPD**


	31. Worlds End, Chapter 1

**Worlds End**

Chapter One

Dipper and Fenris stood in a shroud of heavy mist. There was light enough for them to see a few feet in every direction, but the source of the light was a mystery. The sickly sweet smell of decay hung in the stagnant air.

"So this is what Helheim looks like," Dipper remarked casually, his arm still slung over Fenris's shoulders from their recent blip. "Last time I was here all I got to see was the inside of Hel's cottage." He glanced around and gave a halfhearted shrug. "Doesn't look like I was missing much."

Fenris chuckled wetly, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Yeah, I can see why it tends to be the least preferred of the three Norse dead realms."

Dipper removed his arm from Fenris's shoulders and scratched the back of his head. "Three? I thought it was just Helheim and Valhalla?"

Fenris shook his head. "There's also Folkvangr, Freya's place. The honored dead either go there or to Valhalla. Hel takes the dishonored dead—basically, anyone who didn't die in battle."

"Huh," Dipper muttered. He shifted his hooves on the uneven, fog-obscured terrain, which created a crackling sound, like dry leaves being crushed. "Seems I should probably try to learn more about Norse mythology if I'm going to be traipsing about in it and mucking things up." He paused and glanced into the veil of fog surrounding them. "Speaking of traipsing, which way should we go? Also, which way is...which way? There's no sun or stars to give us our bearings."

"We should be close to Hel's house. I was as precise as I could be with my blip, but I've only been here the one time before," explained Fenris. "When Cernunnos blipped us here he was able to find his way to her by homing in on the nearest godly power...or something. I don't know how to do that. Do you?"

"No," said Dipper. "But I know how to do this." An oscillating fan popped into existence in front of him, and began circulating the still air, sending the nearby mist swirling away. The mist thinned enough that he could see the shape of a small cottage about thirty meters to their right. He turned to Fenris with his hands on his hips, a grin splitting his face. "Pretty good, huh?"

Fenris didn't respond. He was staring at the now-visible ground with a look of horror, mixed with disgust. Dipper glanced down to see what Fenris was looking at, and immediately regretted it. The crackling noise he'd created from shifting his hooves moments ago had not come from dried leaves. It came from the skin of mummified corpses being torn like tissue paper under his hooves. There was no ground. There was only the dead.

"Uh, did that body just m—yeah, it definitely moved," Fenris answered his own question.

The putrid remains of one of the dishonored dead turned its head toward Dipper, opened its mouth in a silent scream, blinked its milky, unseeing eyes, and slowly began to lift the remnants of its arm.

"Nope," Dipper said emphatically, as he turned and propelled himself toward Hel's cottage, springing like a mountain goat, trying to touch the floor of death as little as possible. Fenris was right behind him. They reached Hel's (thankfully, stone) stoop in a less than a minute, but it still felt like it took entirely too long. Dipper bent over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, while Fenris knocked on the door.

Hel opened the door, and beamed at her brother with the good half of her face.

"Hello, sister," Fenris said, sounding awkwardly formal. He wasn't used to actually speaking to Hel in person, and it showed.

"I know the circumstances are less than ideal, but it is so good to see you again, Fen!" She leaned forward and enveloped him in a hug, smiling at Dipper over her brother's shoulder. Her smile faded slightly, and her eyebrows rose as she pulled away from the hug to stare at the panting satyr. "It is nice to see you again as well, Dipper, and alive this time. But, why are you out of breath?"

Dipper stood, and blew out a final heavy breath with a puff of his cheeks. "I know dead realms are sometimes called 'the fields of the dead,'" he explained. "I was, however, unprepared for _actual_ fields of dead people. Moving dead people."

"Oh, pshaw," said Hel, with a flap of her hand, as she ushered the boys inside and shut the door behind them. "They can't hurt you. The ones that litter the ground are the ancient dead. They're not even really conscious anymore. Their souls are in the mist, unless they were reborn into the pocket Midgard."

Dipper grimaced and glanced out the window. "Even if they can't hurt anyone, there's still the ick factor. I nearly got my hoof caught in some dude's empty eye socket. Also," he paused, and held up a finger. "I could have done without knowing that I was just inhaling lungfuls of souls."

Hel rolled her eyes and turned to Fenris. "Your friend wasn't so...complainy when he was here the first time. Is he always like this?"

Fenris held his palms up and shrugged. "I mean, he _had_ just died last time you met him. That's probably a bit of a humbling experience. He might not have been himself."

Dipper strode over to the floral print sofa he'd been lying on when he woke up on his first, unplanned, visit to Helheim, and plopped down.

"Also, I just had to leave the love of my life, as well as my sister, behind in the mundane realm because I have been drafted into another pantheon's apocalypse. Forgive me for not gleefully skipping through the mass of mummified corpses with a smile on my face and a song in my heart." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

Hel crossed her arms and leaned back, a smirk evident on the non-decayed half of her face. "Well, I mean, if you'd rather not keep your promise and help us with our little apocalypse problem, I can always reclaim your soul, and you can go lay out on my lawn and rot."

Dipper shuddered involuntarily. "Uh, nah, I'm good." He raised a fist in the air and pumped it weakly, while intoning quietly, "Yaaaay, apocalypse!"

Fenris sighed and sat down on the other end of the sofa. "Not that I'm not enjoying the snarky rapport you two have going, but I'd kind of like to just get this whole Ragnarok deal over with, so I can get back to Mabel. Can we maybe focus on figuring out whatever it is we're going to do to reroute the prophecy?"

Hel sighed. "Unfortunately, brother, that is something you and Dipper will have to figure out on your own. See, per the 'prophecy,' I'm supposed to side with our father. I want to have plausible deniability of whatever it is you'll be doing. Once you leave Helheim this time, I will not be able to communicate with you until Ragnarok is complete."

"Oh," said Fenris, casting his eyes to the floor.

Dipper crossed his arms and frowned. "So what, you just smile and wave goodbye, while telling us 'Have fun storming the castle!'?"

Hel's brow furrowed. "What castle? The final battle is supposed to happen on the Plane of Vigridr."

Dipper opened his mouth to retort, and then just shook his head. His pop-culture references were wasted on the gods.

Fenris stood. "Well, if there is nothing you can do to help us, I suppose we should be on our way. Can you at least tell us where we should start our journey?"

"I'll do you one better," said Hel, with a small smile. "I'll open a portal for you. To Midgard." She closed her eyes and briefly chanted in ancient Norse under her breath, and a patch of air in the middle of her living room began to shimmer.

"Thank you, Hel," said Fenris, stepping toward the portal. "I appreciate what help you have been able to give me. May we meet again under better circumstances."

Hel reached out and hugged him tightly. "I believe in your goodness, Fenrir. Now go destroy the world."

Fenris chuckled softly, stepped into the patch of shimmering air, and disappeared. Dipper nodded a goodbye to Hel, and made to follow his friend, but Hel put a hand on his forearm to stop him.

"Keep my brother safe, Dipper," she said. Then she squeezed his arm a bit too tightly to be considered a friendly squeeze. With hard eyes, she continued. "Because if he dies, you die." She let go of his arm, leaving the red imprint of her hand behind.

Dipper swallowed hard and gave her a mock salute, then stepped through the portal, with his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

/

Mabel and Wendy were exhausted. It was nearly noon, and they'd been sparring almost nonstop since Fenris and Dipper blipped away, trying to keep their minds off the absence of the boys. Mabel hadn't brought her glaive or armor to the Gravnemeta, because she'd been distracted with having to say goodbye to Fenris and her brother. To fight fair, Wendy promised to use no magic, and the girls grappled hand-to-hand.

Mabel's muscles were aching, but she preferred that to the hollow feeling in her chest that threatened to swallow her whole whenever she thought of Fenris. She jumped back, dodging a fist Wendy had aimed for her abdomen, when she heard a twig snap at the edge of the clearing. She whirled around to see who was approaching, and suddenly felt a hot burst of pain on the back of her skull, and saw stars. She lurched forward and fell to her knees.

"Holy shit, Mabel, I'm so sorry, I was already mid-blow when you turned—oh gods, are you okay?" Wendy cried. She knelt down next to Mabel, who was holding the back of her head.

"What happened?!" cried a voice from the direction in which the noise of the snapped twig had originated.

Mabel looked up sheepishly, trying to push back the nausea she felt. "Hi, Sirona. Ugh, it's okay, I'm fine," she said flapping her hand at Wendy, and trying to stand on her own. She wobbled, and Wendy took her arm to support her.

"I'll be the judge of that," Sirona said, as she approached, her mouth a grim line. Cecil kept pace, slithering at her heels. He glanced up at her, his tongue flicking in and out. "I agree, Cecil," the goddess said, nodding down at the albino python. She set a wicker picnic basket at her feet, and folded her arms over her chest. "Mabel _does_ seem to have a problem following doctor's orders."

Mabel's cheeks grew hot. "I—I really didn't feel bad at all after this last visit to your spring. I thought—"

Sirona cut Mabel off, her voice stern. "You thought that as long as you felt good, you didn't need to listen to the healing goddess?" She walked around Mabel and parted the hair on the back of her head, gently touching the large purple lump where Wendy's blow had landed.

Mabel hissed through her teeth, and swallowed back the bile rising in her throat.

"Yep, concussion," said Sirona, her voice more gentle this time. "Let's get you over to one of those 'healing stations' Dipper had me set up." She took one of Mabel's arms, while Wendy kept her hold on the other. Together the two goddesses helped the mortal to a small spring under a tree at the edge of the clearing.

"I'm so sorry, Mabel, it was an accident," Wendy said, squeezing her friend's arm as she helped her get to her knees in front of the spring.

"Cup your hands and drink some first," instructed Sirona. "Then I want you to lie on your back with the back of your head submerged in the water."

Mabel nodded and scooped some of the cool water into her hands, and took a sip. She immediately felt a burst of energy, and her nausea vanished. She sighed with relief as the two women helped her turn over and lie down so that the back of her head was under water. The throbbing lessened, but didn't altogether end.

"Cheese and crackers, Wendy," she said, smiling up at her friend. "You hit like a train!"

Wendy smiled back. "Well you weren't supposed to know that, dork. You were supposed to dodge it! Why the hell did you turn around?"

Mabel's eyes flicked over to Sirona. "I heard a twig snap, and I panicked. But it looks like it was just Sirona and Cecil."

"Mabel, dear, I need you to listen to me," said Sirona, her voice once again taking on a stern tone. "You've been overdoing it. Your grunkles told me about you practicing glaive drills all night in the Gravnemeta, and now this—sparring—after I told you to take it easy for a few days. I know you felt fine, but that doesn't mean your body is completely done healing." She reached down and took Mabel's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You spend so much time with gods that I fear you sometimes forget that you are mortal. Mortal bodies have limitations, sweetheart. Injuries, especially head injuries, when accumulated over time, can cause permanent damage. Especially if you don't allow yourself time to fully recover between injuries."

"Oh," Mabel said quietly. Her face felt hot, and she was sure it was bright red. "I kind of just thought, you know, magical healing and all..." She trailed off, feeling exceptionally stupid.

Sirona smiled and shook her head. "Mabel Pines, I think you must be the most injury-prone mortal I've ever met. Just do me a favor, and after a healing, wait until I clear you for duty, okay?"

Mabel nodded mutely.

"Speaking of duty, I was supposed to be on guard duty until later this afternoon," said Wendy, looking at Sirona. "But would you and Cecil mind covering the rest of my shift, so I can stay with Mabel?"

"Not at all, dear. Mabel, you may get up from the spring now, but you must wait two days before _any_ physical exertion this time, okay?"

After Wendy and Sirona helped Mabel to her feet, Cecil bopped his nose against Sirona's calf.

"You're right, Cecil," the older goddess said, nodding. "You girls go ahead and take the lunch I brought for you. Go have a picnic by the lake or something. Rest. We've got things covered here."

After exchanging a quick goodbye and grabbing the picnic basket, Wendy blipped herself and Mabel over to the lake, where they sat at a picnic table and shared the meal.

"I know Sirona's right," Mabel said, swallowing a bite of sandwich, "but I don't like just sitting on my hands, doing nothing. It gives me too much time to think, and all I can think about now is that Dipper and Fenris are in danger." She took a shuddering breath and sat her sandwich down. It was good, but she wasn't very hungry.

Wendy bit her lip, but then smiled. "Honestly, though, they _just_ got there. They can't have gotten into too much trouble yet, right?"

/

"Fenris, I think we're in trouble!" Dipper cried, his voice nearly lost in the shrill whistle of wind. They had stepped through the portal from Helheim directly into a complete whiteout of a blizzard. Dipper conjured himself a parka, mittens, a scarf, and a knit cap, then grabbed Fenris's shoulder and spun the other boy to face him. "Is Midgard supposed to be this cold? Are we even in the right place?" he asked, as he conjured cold-weather gear for Fenris and handed it to him.

Fenris quickly donned the gear and wrapped his arms tightly around himself, shivering. "We have to be," he said loudly, to be heard over the storm. "Hel wouldn't have sent us to the wrong place on purpose. I mean, she's the reason _you're_ here!"

Dipper frowned, remembering Hel's words to him just before he stepped into the portal. He didn't plan to tell Fenris what she'd said. He didn't want his friend to feel any worse than he already did about Dipper having to participate in Ragnarok. Instead, he went with "Well she did say that due to the prophecy, she's on team Loki—maybe she sent us to the wrong place on his orders?"

The corners of Fenris's mouth turned down and his nostrils flared. He blinked rapidly to clear his eyelashes of the snowflakes collecting on them, and shook his head.

"I don't think so. She wouldn't have been so forthcoming with that information if she planned on using it against us, no?"

Dipper shrugged. "All I know is I am _really_ fucking cold. Let's get moving and see if we can find some sort of landmark, or at least shelter."

Fenris nodded, picked a direction at random, and began walking, with Dipper following close behind.

After hours of walking, the weather had not improved. They were still in whiteout conditions, and had no idea where they were, other than that there were trees around. Dipper found that out by walking into one.

"Fen, I know we can't die of exhaustion or exposure, but all the same, I'm starting to forget what warm feels like," Dipper called out. Fenris, who was a few feet ahead of him, stopped and turned around.

His lips were blue, and snow clung to his eyelashes and eyebrows, as well as the bits of his black hair that stuck out from underneath his knit cap. "What's this 'warm' of which you speak?" he asked, attempting to smile. It looked more like a grimace.

"Let's stop for a bit and I'll conjure us a fire and some junk food, how about that?" Dipper asked.

Fenris nodded vigorously. "Fire good."

Within about a minute, Dipper had whipped up a small bonfire, two lawn chairs, and a random assortment of chips and cookies. Fenris ripped off his mittens and shoved them in a pocket, so that he could open a package of Oreos. He shoved an Oreo into his mouth, whole, then slumped down into one of the lawn chairs, basking in the warmth of the fire.

He looked over at Dipper, and through a mouthful of cookie, said "Did I ever tell you you're my best friend?"

Dipper grinned. "Well yeah, but I don't mind hearing it again." He tore open a bag of potato chips, and proceeded to shove a handful into his mouth and munch loudly.

"What in the nine worlds are you doing?!" cried an unfamiliar male voice. "Are you _trying_ to attract monsters?"

Fenris and Dipper jumped up, startled. They hadn't heard anyone approach. A tall, young man strode into the light cast by the fire, his black, shoulder length hair whipping in the wind. He was draped in various animal pelts, over thick, hide pants, with heavy leather boots on his feet. In one fist he held two dead rabbits by their ears, and a wickedly sharp-looking dagger was strapped to his belt.

"Aw, poor bunnies," Dipper murmured sadly. Then, the stranger's comment about monsters registered. Dipper looked down at his goat half self-consciously, and shifted so that the fire obscured his bottom half from the stranger. He didn't know what was considered a monster in these parts.

"Who are you?" Fenris asked. He seemed more startled than frightened.

"Someone with _sense_ ," answered the stranger. He knelt and sat the rabbits on the ground, then began scooping snow onto the fire.

"Hey!" Dipper cried. "We were using that! If you haven't noticed, it's a bit chilly out."

The stranger glared at Dipper over the dwindling flames. "A _bit_?" he said, incredulous. "It's fimbulwinter, man!"

Dipper blinked at him. "Mimblewimble?"

Fenris, however, gave a gasp of recognition. "Of course, fimbulwinter! Okay, everything makes sense now."

"Sure, right," said Dipper, with a nod. Then he caught Fenris's eye, and mouthed _what the hell?_

"Thank you for the warning, but we can handle monsters," Fenris told the stranger. The man stood up and dusted snow from his hands. The fire was reduced to mere embers.

"Handle the monsters?" he repeated, arching a single eyebrow. He looked from Fenris to Dipper, and back to Fenris, as if sizing them up. Then he did a double-take at Dipper, or, more specifically, Dipper's legs. "That is not normal," he said faintly.

Dipper grinned, pulled his knit hat up a bit so his horns were visible, and waved. "Hi, I'm Dipper Pines, god of mischief and tomfoolery. And you are?"

Instead of answering the question, the stranger frowned and said "You are not one of our gods."

Dipper shot fingerguns at the man. "Correct you are. However, my friend here—" Dipper cut himself off mid-sentence when he noticed Fenris give an almost imperceptible shake of his head. Dipper coughed, and continued. "My friend here would like to introduce himself to you."

The man turned to look at Fenris expectantly, his arms crossed over his chest.

"My name is Fen," Fenris began. "And, I, uh, am from here. Sort of. I didn't realize fimbulwinter had started, though. I've kind of...been gone...awhile."

The stranger nodded. "Well, Fen, and… Dipper the god… as it is fimbulwinter, and nightfall is not far off, I insist you come shelter with me for the night." He stooped to pick the rabbits up by their ears again. "I make a fine hare stew."

Dipper looked to Fenris. "Your call, Fen."

Fenris bit his lower lip, then nodded. "I think we'll take you up on that offer," he said.

"Smart of you," the stranger said with a nod. He started walking away, the limp rabbits swinging from his fist, and waved for them to follow. "This way."

After about twenty minutes, the trio came upon a squat, stone shack, with a thatch roof. As the man unlatched the door, Dipper spoke up.

"So, since we're having a slumber party at your house and all, maybe we should know your name?"

The man turned in the doorway to face them. "My name is Erik," he said. "Erik the Blue."

/

The sun was beginning to sink below the horizon as Mabel moved her top hat game piece, then covered her mouth with her hand, and yawned. "Why does every game of Monopoly last so long?" she complained to no one in particular. "Grunkle Stan is clearly going to win."

Not long after Mabel and Wendy had finished their lakeside picnic lunch, the grunkles had spotted them, and insisted they spend the afternoon on the Stan O' Home, playing board games. It was obvious that both girls were in need of a distraction.

Stanley grinned down at the pile of colorful fake cash in front of him. "Money is money, even if it _is_ pretend. By the way, you just landed on my boardwalk." He held his hand forward, palm up, and Mabel slapped some Monopoly money onto it.

Ford frowned at the dwindling pile of pretend money in front of him, and glanced over at Stanley's hoard, before saying "I think we ought to call it a night. You girls need to go home and get some rest. Plus, the two of us have to get ready to go on guard duty. We've got the night shift."

"Aw, you're just sayin' that cause I'm winning!" Stan pouted.

Wendy snorted and shoved her small pile of colored cash at him. "Here, old man. You were going to end up with it anyway. Don't spend it all in one place!" she added, with a cheeky wink.

"Who are you calling old man, you—uh—nature...girl?"

Wendy stood and stretched, ignoring Stan's impotent insult. "You ready for me to blip you home, Mabel?" she asked, looking down at the brunette.

Mabel swallowed, and stared at her hands. She'd been dreading this—going home to sleep in an empty bed, having neither a puppy _no_ _r_ human-shaped Fenris to cuddle with.

"Yeah," she said quietly. She stood up, and hugged her grunkles. "Maybe next time we can play a game that doesn't involve the accumulation of property and wealth?" she said, with a small smile at Ford. "Something knowledge-based, like trivia?"

Stan gave an annoyed grunt, but Ford nodded. "That sounds good to me. We'll see you later, sweetie. Sleep well."

Mabel stepped next to Wendy and linked arms with her. She blinked once, and they were standing in the middle of the attic bedroom at the Mystery Shack.

"Well," said Wendy, hesitantly. "I guess I should go now. You gonna be okay?"

Mabel sank down onto the edge of her mattress and took a deep breath. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "I guess I'll find out."

"Same," said Wendy. "Do you want me to crash here tonight? If you do, I will."

Mabel smiled, but shook her head. "No, Wendy. I really appreciate the offer, but you should go spend time with your family. I'll manage."

Wendy sighed. "Alright. But call my cell if you need anything, okay?" Then she pointed a finger at the younger girl and shook it. "And I don't want to hear about any all-night glaive practice sessions, missy."

Mabel leaned her head back and rolled her eyes. "Okay, _mom_."

Wendy's lips twitched upward, and she reached out and squeezed Mabel's hand. "I'll stop by tomorrow, before my shift. Get some sleep."

Mabel nodded, and lifted a hand to wave as Wendy blipped away.

The attic felt more empty than usual, and Mabel was unsure of what to do with herself. She finally decided to get a shower, change into pajamas and lie down. After all, she _was_ tired. Exhausted, in fact. It was her mind that was the problem. She just needed to try and empty her thoughts.

She had just closed her eyes, when someone knocked on her door.

"Mabel?" Melody opened the door a crack and peered in.

Mabel sat up in bed, leaning back onto her hands for support. "What's up?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were already in bed. Soos and I heard someone moving around up here, and figured it was you. I just wanted to see if you wanted any dinner. I can heat up some leftovers, if you'd like."

Mabel shook her head. "Thanks, Mel, but I'm okay. Wendy and I hung with the grunkles all afternoon and ate junk food. I spoiled my appetite."

"Well, okay," said Melody. "If you get hungry you know you have free reign of the kitchen. And if you need us, Soos and I are right downstairs."

"Okay. Thanks again," said Mabel. "'Night."

"Goodnight, sweetie," Melody said, before pulling the door closed.

Mabel lay down once again, and closed her eyes. The back of her head no longer hurt, but it was still tender, and uncomfortable to have it pressed against the pillows. She grunted in annoyance, opened her eyes again, and rolled onto her side. She stared into the darkness, trying to empty her mind—to think of anything but what was happening to Fenris and Dipper. Her eyelids began to grow heavy, and Mabel finally felt like sleep was once again more than just an abstract concept.

Just before she fell asleep, Mabel caught herself staring at the pale triangle on the floor, illuminated by the moonlight that filtered in through the attic window. As she was drifting off, a shadow marred and distorted the perfect triangle. A shadow in the shape of a large bird.

/

Erik the Blue ushered Fenris and Dipper into his hut, then latched the door behind them. Flickering, red embers in a fire pit at the center of the windowless, one-room dwelling provided the only light. As Erik began to stoke the fire, and add wood from a pile next to the door, Dipper and Fenris looked around to take in their surroundings.

There was a straw pallet on the floor against the far left wall, and a rustic, wooden table against the back wall, on which sat a large, three-legged iron cauldron, and various other cooking implements. Against the far right wall there stood a plain wooden desk, covered in stacks of vellum, an ink pot, and several sharpened quills.

"So… erm, Erik the _Blue_ ," Dipper said finally. He leaned against the stone wall, near the door, and stared at the back of Erik's head. "Any relation to Erik the Red?"

"Who?" asked Fenris. He sat down cross-legged in front of the fire, and held his hands out to warm them.

Erik, who had begun to skin the rabbits, glanced over his shoulder at Dipper. "I know of no such person."

"You've never heard of Erik the Red?" Dipper asked, incredulous. "Neither of you? Wow, I actually know something about Norse history that you don't! See, he was a Viking—"

Fenris cut him off with a harsh cough. When Dipper raised a questioning eyebrow at him, Fenris mouthed _pocket Midgard_.

"Oh, right, nevermind," muttered Dipper. This Midgard had separated from the Mundane thousands of years ago, after the original Ragnarok. The Norse history from the Mundane wouldn't have happened here.

An awkward silence fell over the hut. The only noises were the dull thud of a knife against wood, the squelching sound of rabbits being gutted, and the whistling of the wind outside.

Dipper walked over to the fire and sat down next to Fenris. "So what's the plan?" he whispered.

Fenris ran his hands through his hair, and blew out a puff of air. "I don't know," he replied softly. "Fimbulwinter would have begun around the time Puck helped me escape my chains. And it's supposed to last for three successive seasons, with no summer in between _._ I don't want to be away from Mabel for that long, and I know you sure as hell hadn't planned to be away from Wendy that long."

Dipper recoiled, his eyes wide. "I should think the fuck not!" he hissed. "Is there any way we can accelerate the whole process?"

Fenris stared into the flickering flames, shadows dancing across his face as he pondered the question. "It's just… so structured. The prophecy. First, fimbulwinter. Then three roosters crow to warn of the coming of the end—one for the giants, one for the dead, and one in Valhalla. After that, an army of giants, as well as me, and my brother Jormungandr, lay waste to Midgard, and then board Naglfar, a ship made of the nails of dead men, and sail on to Asgard with my father at the helm. As the ship of the dead approaches the Plane of Vigrid, the Aesir, Heimdall blows his Gjallahorn, and the final battle commences."

"But Hel said things were dif—" Dipper saw a shadow move in the corner of his eye, and cut himself off. Erik was standing on the other side of the fire, holding the cauldron. He sat it down in the fire, its three legs tall enough that the bulk of the pot sat above the flames.

"You speak of Ragnarok?" Erik asked. "Because I could swear I heard you say..." He sat down on a wooden stool across the fire from them, and stared at Fenris, his dark eyes suspicious. "Huh. Fen. Interesting name, that. Is it short for something?"

"Um," Fenris said, shifting nervously, and looking to Dipper for help.

"Yeah, it's short for Fenjamin," Dipper answered. He crossed his arms, attempting to appear annoyed. "And he's embarrassed of his name, because—well, wouldn't you be? Thanks _so much_ for bringing it up, dude."

Erik stood up so quickly that he knocked his stool over. "Don't lie to me. I heard you say 'me, and my brother Jormungandr.' The only Jormungandr I know of is the world snake. And his brother is the great wolf, _Fen_ rir."

Fenris stared up at Erik, the picture of innocence. "But, I'm obviously not a wolf, as you can see."

Erik glowered down at him. "That doesn't mean you are not a monster."

Fenris opened and closed his mouth, and looked down at his hands, his eyes beginning to water. Erik's jab had struck a nerve.

"Look," Dipper said, standing. "Clearly you're having second thoughts about your offer of hospitality to us. We don't want any trouble. We'll leave." He leaned over and offered Fenris a hand up.

"That would probably be best," Erik murmured. He unlatched the door, and jumped back, startled, as the force of the wind blew it open. The dark figure of a man stood just outside, silhouetted against the icy backdrop of swirling snow. He walked forward, the light from the fire pit illuminating his cold, yet somehow elfin, features. He was dressed differently than he had been before—this time in more traditional Norse garb, and wrapped in a dark green cloak with the hood pulled up—but Dipper immediately recognized him nonetheless. It was clear by Fenris's body language that he did, too.

Loki swept into the hut, hands on his hips, and grinned at Fenris and Dipper. "There you are, boys! I've been looking everywhere for you! We have an apocalypse to get underway!"

/

Mabel woke up before dawn, and was unable to fall back asleep. Her bed felt cold and empty, and tears pricked at the back of her eyelids, because she couldn't help but think about why that was. She needed to do something to distract herself, but she couldn't do _too_ much, or she'd risk getting in trouble with Sirona again. She touched the back of her head, happy that it was at least no longer tender.

She stood and stretched, then shivered. The past few days it had been beginning to feel like Spring, but this morning was unseasonably chilly. Still, being outside and keeping occupied was the best bet to keep her from focusing on the empty feeling gnawing a hole through her chest. She decided to go for a walk in the woods while listening to music with her phone and earbuds. Her body would have to focus on where it was going, and her mind could focus on the music.

She quickly dressed in warm leggings and a thermal shirt, then donned her armor. While she didn't plan on needing it, she accepted the fact that trouble seemed to be attracted to her, and she wanted the protection—just in case. However, she chose to leave her glaive behind. That way if Sirona, Wendy, or any of the others saw her out and about, they couldn't claim she was looking for trouble, or doing glaive drills.

Once Mabel had all her gear on, she stole quietly down the steps, and out the front door. The sky was a deep purple, scattered with stars, as the first fingers of sunlight began to caress the horizon. She trembled in the cold, her breath coming out in puffs of white mist. She put in her earbuds, then pulled the hood of her cuirass up, selecting a hardstyle playlist on her phone—one with which she could easily get lost in the beat—and began walking.

Mabel strode aimlessly through the pine woods, avoiding the Gravnemeta. She fell into step with the steady pulsing beat of her music, and tried to focus on individual notes within each song. She should have known better than to focus so much on the music, because it not only kept her distracted from thoughts of Dipper and Fenris, but it also kept her distracted from her surroundings. She didn't notice that she was being followed.

Mabel finally stopped walking when she noticed the sky above was now a pale gray. It wasn't the color that got her to stop, however, but the fact that she could see it so clearly at all. She had stepped out from under the forest canopy, into a small clearing she had never seen before. She paused her music, and pulled out her earbuds, trying to get her bearings, and that's when she heard it: the cawing of dozens of crows.

Her eyes widened, as she turned slowly on the spot and scanned the tree line around the clearing. An entire murder of crows stared at her from all sides. They stopped cawing when they were sure she had noticed them, an eerie silence falling over the clearing. Mabel knew there were quite a few gods associated with birds from the family Corvidae, and due to the crows' strange behavior, she was sure a god was involved. What she didn't know, however, was whether or not the god involved wished her ill.

Mabel took a deep breath, and called out. "I know you're out there. What do you want? Come out and face me!" She sounded much more brave than she felt, and cursed herself for deciding to leave her glaive at home.

A dark, feminine chuckle resonated throughout the clearing, seeming to come from every direction at once. "You are brave, little magpie, to call out an unknown element so readily—especially as you are one of few mortals who is actually aware of the monsters lurking in the shadows."

The voice didn't sound threatening, but neither had Loki, at first—until he'd dragged Arden out from behind him like a dog on a chain. _Sounding_ non-threatening meant nothing, coming from a god.

Mabel clenched her fists at her sides. "Who are you? Show yourself!"

A flapping noise came from behind her, and Mabel turned to witness the largest crow she'd ever seen land gracefully. It hopped forward a few steps. Then in a swirl of black feathers and silk, there was no longer a crow standing before Mabel, but a darkly beautiful woman, with pale skin, scarlet lips, and shiny, raven-black hair that seemed to stir in a non-existent breeze. Robes of black silk spilled elegantly over her shoulders, under which she wore a gauzy, diaphanous, black dress.

Mabel didn't know what possessed her to do so, but she knelt in front of the dark goddess. Never once had any of the gods she'd met given her this sense of awe. A terrible power was standing before her—of that, she was sure.

Mabel was looking down, but heard a smile in the goddess's voice when she said "Well, this is a pleasant surprise. A mortal who knows her place! You may rise, my dear."

Mabel stood, and hesitantly made eye contact with the goddess, whose eyes were inky pools of infinite darkness. They didn't reflect the light—they absorbed it. She smiled and reached out an icy hand to cup Mabel's cheek.

"Arduinna didn't know what a gem she had in you, Mabel Pines. I see it, however. I will polish away your rough edges, and show you that you are capable of power beyond anything you could have imagined."

The goddess's words scared Mabel, but also intrigued her. "I—I don't understand," she stammered. "Who are you?"

"I am your new mentor, my magpie," she said, stroking Mabel's cheek. "I am the Morrigan."

/

/

/

 **Thus concludes the first chapter of Worlds End. I'm sorry it has been so long since I've updated, and I hope the wait was worth it! I really enjoy working on this story, and I'd love your feedback, so please do leave a review if you are so inclined. :)**

 **-MPD**


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